The Psychological Cost Of Compensation As A Coping Method

Unexpected events can be a part of life, and how you respond to these events may depend on the coping mechanisms you develop throughout life. As an individual, it can be natural to gravitate toward strategies that offer instant gratification. However, some coping strategies may come at a high psychological cost.

Compensation, a common coping mechanism, may temporarily relieve stress and difficult emotions but can ultimately deplete mental and emotional reserves. Compensation may operate like a seesaw to counterbalance perceived deficiencies or failures. It can be a subconscious effort to keep oneself balanced when there is an emotional dip on one side of the internal playground. Exploring this coping mechanism in more detail may be helpful to understand why it may be unhealthy and know how to find support for building healthier techniques for coping with life’s challenges. 

The history and psychological basis of compensation

Before modern psychology provided insights into defense mechanisms, ancient philosophers and healers recognized the existence of strategies individuals employed to deal with life's adversities. Today, experts know that these strategies are linked to human psychological processes, and this understanding has allowed them to explore the long-term impacts of various coping mechanisms.

While Freud theorized that compensation is rooted in unconscious motivations and desires, Adler proposed that individuals may use compensation to make up for thoughts of inferiority or inadequacy. In Adler's view, overcompensation can be adaptive, contributing positively to personal development, or maladaptive, leading to an imbalance in personality.

Modern views on compensation 

Contemporary views on compensation recognize its adaptive potential but warn against overcompensation's potential mental health costs. Rather than viewing compensation as a mechanism to compensate for perceived deficits, it is seen as an effort to manage or balance emotionally charged experiences.

Despite the varying theories and interpretations surrounding this defense mechanism, compensation is often an unconscious effort to offset or mask an emotional imbalance. Compensation can take on many forms, from perfectionism to overachievement, and allows individuals to momentarily distance themselves from the negative feelings or experiences accompanying failure.

Is compensation an effective coping mechanism? 

On the surface, compensation may seem like an effective coping strategy. Seeing fault in striving for excellence or working hard may be difficult. However, these behaviors are often driven by a desire to avoid discomfort rather than genuine ambition or self-improvement. As a result, compensation can lead to decreased mental health and well-being.

When compensation serves as an escape from internal experiences and emotions, individuals may struggle to address the underlying cause of their distress. This escape can lead to a vicious cycle of seeking opportunities to temporarily avoid facing feelings, leading one further away from one’s authentic self.  

Compensation may be fueled by an unspoken belief that if you work hard or do enough, you can somehow make up for your perceived shortcomings or failures. This belief can be damaging in the long run because it may set a person up for disappointment and frustration when they inevitably don't meet the unrealistic standards that they have set for themselves. 

Today's society relies heavily on external validation and achievement, so it can be easy to fall into the trap of believing that you will eventually feel better if you can do or have “enough.” However, true contentment and peace may come from within and may be difficult to achieve through tangible accomplishments or possessions.

The psychological cost of compensation

Human mental and emotional reserves can be limited. You may draw from those finite resources when you rely on compensation as a coping strategy. Constant engagement in compensatory activities or thoughts may leave you depleted and exhausted, potentially leading to increased stress levels and a sense of overburden.

The immediate effects of compensation may provide relief. This psychological strategy often offers a sense of control over one's situation, which can be crucial in managing stress. However, like a double-edged sword, it can also set the stage for trouble.

Over time, the act of compensating can result in avoidance of addressing the real issues. For instance, a person compensating for low self-esteem by overly focusing on career achievements may neglect personal relationships. Moreover, overcompensation can strain your self-esteem as it is often based on false assumptions and beliefs about one's worth.

Additionally, compensatory behavior can take up significant mental energy. Maintaining the desired image and keeping up with the externally imposed standards may require sustained effort. As a result, individuals may become overwhelmed or have difficulty managing their emotions due to weariness from constant striving.

In the long run, constant compensation without addressing underlying issues can harm one's self-perception. When emotional exhaustion becomes a norm, depression and anxiety may arise. As a result, one’s quality of life may be reduced, leading to further psychological distress.

Common examples of compensation

Compensation can manifest in many forms. While each person's experience is unique, some of the most common examples may include the following. 

Compensation in response to career setbacks

A person who faces career setbacks might overcommit to community service or other extracurricular activities. Though seemingly positive, if this compensation is a means to avoid the emotional pain of failure, it can lead to burnout and difficulty in addressing career development. 

Compensation for personal insecurities

Someone insecure about their appearance might develop a sharp wit as a defense mechanism. While being humorous can be positive, if rooted in deep-seated insecurities, it can prevent genuine relationships and lead to isolation.

Compensation in relationships

A person who believes they are inadequate in a romantic relationship might overcompensate by showering their partner with gifts or affection. While these behaviors may temporarily fill an emotional void, they may not address the underlying conflict or challenge and can lead to codependency or unhealthy patterns.

Compensation in response to trauma

A person who has experienced a traumatic event may cope by wearing a metaphorical armor of toughness and adopting an invulnerable attitude. Though this attitude might seem strong, it may be a defense mechanism to avoid confronting painful emotions.

Compensation can have positive and negative implications, depending on its motivation and context. If used consciously to manage difficult emotions in the short term, it can be an effective coping tool. However, compensation can be counterproductive and detrimental to one’s overall well-being if used to avoid discomfort or neglect underlying issues.

Alternative coping mechanisms

While compensation can offer immediate relief, it can be crucial to recognize when it may turn into an unhealthy pattern. Below are ways to adopt healthier, alternative coping methods:

• Self-awareness: When you understand and accept your limitations and vulnerabilities, you may approach difficult emotions from a place of self-compassion.
• Self-care: Focusing on physical, spiritual, emotional, mental, or creative activities may reduce stress and increase resilience.
• Mindful breathing: Practicing mindful breathing exercises may help you become aware of your thoughts and feelings in the present moment.
• Lifestyle adjustments: Changes to your lifestyle, such as increasing physical activity or getting adequate sleep, may help you manage stress and anxiety more effectively.
• Counseling: Talking to a professional may help you gain insight into compensatory behaviors and identify sustainable coping strategies.

Compensation is a common coping mechanism employed when individuals are overwhelmed or believe they are inadequate. Though it can provide immediate relief, it can become a destructive pattern when one avoids addressing underlying issues.

Support options

If you rely heavily on compensatory behavior and want help in transitioning to healthier coping methods, it may be helpful to speak to a therapist. However, some people may experience barriers to seeking in-person care, such as cost, distance, or time. In these cases, online therapy through a platform like BetterHelp can offer a safe environment to explore your emotions and work toward a more balanced life. 

With professional guidance, you may gain insight into creating sustainable change, which may lead to increased contentment and peace of mind. With online therapy, you can meet with your provider according to your schedule, which may be helpful for those with demanding careers, childcare responsibilities, or otherwise busy lives. While coping with life’s difficulties can be challenging, you may find some relief throughout the week by speaking with a trained therapist with experience assisting people like you. You can also choose between phone, video, or live chat sessions with your provider. 

A recent study by JMIR Research Protocols indicates that online therapy may improve coping skills and build resilience. In this study, participants experienced significantly higher emotional and mental well-being, self-compassion, and sleep quality, as well as substantially lower stress and depression compared to those on a waitlist. Researchers concluded that the intervention “could provide a clinically effective and scalable means of improving young people's well-being, mental health, and resilience.”