Can You Forget Traumatic Memories? Understanding Trauma And Memory
Have you ever wished you could just remove a memory from your brain? If so, you are not alone. Many of us have had negative experiences or traumatic memories that we wish we could forget. Unfortunately, it’s often not easy to forget painful memories. However, with the right support system in place, we can learn to process bad memories in a healthy way, potentially lessening their negative impact and helping us move forward. In this article, we discuss how traumatic memories can impact mental health and strategize healthy ways to process these memories and move forward.
Understanding trauma and memory
When you think back on your life, recalling memories from your childhood and beyond, you may notice that negative memories seem to stick out more than positive memories. Even if you had a healthy childhood and think you should be able to recall plenty of good memories, you may notice that the only memories you can recall are the unpleasant ones.
The impact of negative or traumatic memories
As it turns out, there is a reason for this: research shows that humans tend to have an easier time recalling negative memories because it is an evolutionary defense mechanism. When we remember bad things that have happened to us, we are more likely to avoid these things in the future. In our distant past, this ability to recall negative events could be considered a survival technique, as being able to quickly identify danger and threats was an adaptive trait that protected us from harm or death. Though this defense mechanism may have helped our species survive, at this point, remembering only negative memories may do more harm than good and impact our mental health.
Is it possible to rid yourself of traumatic memories from your brain?
Wanting to forget difficult or traumatic life events can be natural. However, we often cannot completely remove these memories, no matter how hard we try. Despite not being able to forget unwanted memories, you may be able to learn ways to recall memories in a more positive way. The positive picture you paint can thereby lead to less stress, anxiety, and depression symptoms associated with the painful memories.
Understanding trauma and memory shifts
A recent study worked with 297 participants to better understand whether memories could be positively adapted. Participants were asked to recall positive aspects of a negative memory (either by writing them down or speaking about them aloud) over varying periods of time.
Mitigating difficult emotions in your brain
This research suggests that we may be able to mitigate difficult emotions surrounding specific memories by looking for “silver linings” or positive aspects of a memory. For example, say you have a lingering memory of breaking your arm. You may remember the fear you felt when you tripped and fell, the sharp pain you felt when you landed on your arm, and the anxiety of having to go to the emergency room. However, you may be able to lessen the negative feelings associated with that memory if you repeatedly think about the positive parts of the memory: for example, the ice cream you got with your friend before you fell, the jokes your ER doctor told you while trying to cheer you up, or hearing your favorite song play on the radio on the drive home from the ER. In this way, you can create new memories that are less negative or emotionally charged.
Effective methods for difficult memories
Finding positive components of a negative memory may not necessarily be easy. Nonetheless, even the smallest positive moment you can derive can be an effective way to lessen the sting of a painful memory. Below, we’ll explain more methods for healthily dealing with difficult memories.
Healthy ways to cope with post traumatic stress disorder
Although it may not be possible to completely eliminate hard memories, you may have the ability to move forward and process them in a more positive and healthy way. You can lean on loved ones for support, start journaling about your memories, or try therapeutic interventions like EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) and positive reframing.
Positive memory reframing on your own or with a mental health professional
As we touched on above, one way to lessen the negative feelings associated with memory is to find a way to reframe the memory in a more positive light. For example, if you find yourself dwelling on a painful breakup, it may be helpful to look for ways that this ending has brought you new opportunities to get to know yourself and think about what you do and do not want in a future partner. When we consistently search for a silver lining in a negative situation, we can reshape the way we look at the situation as a whole. Positive reframing can be done on one’s own or with the assistance of a mental health professional.
Social support can help you navigate trauma
Sometimes, difficult memories cause us to experience ongoing feelings of depression and anxiety. In these cases, leaning on friends and family can be an effective way of mitigating stress and depression, as studies show that having social support can directly lessen depression. Though social support may not fully replace tough memories, it can provide a source of comfort and encouragement as you process them.
Journaling to understand traumatic stress and memories
For those looking to process difficult memories on their own, journaling can be a useful tool for lessening difficult emotions associated with a bad memory. For example, someone who is remembering the death of a loved one could use journaling to get their feelings down on paper, writing about the images, conversations, and emotions that come up when they think of their lost loved one. By writing your thoughts down, you may find that your mind is less fixated on the memory, and over time the negative emotions associated with the memory may begin to fade.
Therapy interventions for post-traumatic stress disorder and traumatic memories
Different types of therapy can be useful for reframing thoughts and memories, such as cognitive behavioral therapy, exposure therapy, and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). EMDR has become more popular in recent years due to its ability to help specifically with mitigating negative memories. EMDR can not only help with unpleasant memories but can help in treating post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) symptoms. Studies show that EMDR can be more effective than other trauma-centered treatments when it comes to lessening symptoms of PTSD, which can include flashbacks, nightmares, mood changes, and other symptoms associated with a negative memory.
Understanding trauma and memory through mental health therapy
Studies show that reminiscing on happy memories can cause physiological changes in the body that lead to increased feelings of calm and relaxation. On the contrary, thinking about negative memories can do the opposite, potentially leading to feelings of stress, anxiety, and depression.
Though it can be possible to work through hard or emotional memories on your own by journaling, meditating, or intentionally recalling positive memories, working with a therapist can also be an effective tool for coping with a traumatic event or difficult memories. You can find a type of therapy that works well for you and your needs. You may prefer group therapy, where you can discuss challenges with other individuals who are struggling with similar things. Or you may prefer the focused attention of one-on-one, in-office therapy with a mental health professional.
Online therapy for traumatic stress
For those experiencing stressful or traumatic memories, online therapy may be a good option as well. With online therapy, you receive the same high-quality treatment as you would receive from individual in-office therapy, but from the comfort of your own home. This can be especially important for those who may find it challenging to open up about traumatic events, as being at home can provide additional comfort while recounting the memory. Additionally, online therapy can be conducted in a number of ways including video calls, phone calls, or in-app messaging.
Effectiveness of online therapy
Research shows that online therapy can be just as effective as in-person therapy. Forbes recently reviewed 17 studies that compared online therapy to traditional in-person options and found online CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) to be just as effective as face-to-face CBT. Additionally, patients reported consistent levels of satisfaction between the two types of treatment.
Takeaway
How does trauma affect your memory?
Trauma can impact different types of memory. For example, it can affect semantic memory, which is the memory of facts and general knowledge, by preventing information from different areas of the brain from combining, stopping someone from being able to recall this information. Interpersonal trauma can also affect episodic memory by preventing someone from remembering a sequence of events correctly.
Trauma can affect the brain in many ways. For example, during a traumatic event, intense fear causes the brain stem to shut down all unnecessary processes. The brain interprets the experience as life-threatening, shunting blood flow away from the extremities toward the core. The body releases stress hormones, putting the person into survival mode. Due to these changes, the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for functions like rational thinking and remembering important information, begins to function ineffectively during a traumatic event.
One possible result of this change is that the brain encodes memories differently than in normal circumstances. There may be gaps in the memory of the event, or the memories may not be encoded chronologically. For example, these altered memory processes may cause survivors of sexual assault or interpersonal violence may only remember the details that they focused on during the trauma, like the smell of cologne or the sound of a dog barking outside, and not what their surroundings looked like.
How can you unlock repressed memories of childhood trauma?
Repressed memories are those that are believed to be unconsciously blocked. For example, someone who was abused in childhood may block this memory for years, only to then accurately recall it later, at times years or decades in the future.
There is debate in the mental health community about whether repressed memories exist. Some experts who study memory assert that there is no credible evidence for repressed memories, while some clinicians insist they exist. Some clinicians believe that people can enter treatment not knowing that they have experienced abuse and that therapy helps them get to a place where they can recover these memories. On the other hand, some memory researchers believe that the process of revealing recovered memories is “inherently suggestive” and that people in treatment may be recalling false memories.
Recent research shows that most traumatic experiences are remembered. That said, there are also plausible explanations for people forgetting traumatic events; for example, they may not want to talk about what they went through. Some people may have genuinely forgotten the experience but have an implicit memory of the experience, while others may only pretend to have forgotten. It can also happen that people do not realize that they are experiencing childhood trauma at the time it is happening and only interpret it as abusive when looking back on it.
While there is still some debate and strong feelings around repressed memories, people who believe that events from childhood that they do not remember may be impacting their lives seek out a therapist who may try a technique like guided imagery, hypnosis, or regression therapy or try a traditional approach to treatment to help guide the person to identify if past trauma is affecting their lives in the present.
How do you process trauma memories?
Several types of therapy can be beneficial for treating trauma memories, as well as posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), acute stress disorder, anxiety disorders, and other traumatic stress reactions. These include cognitive behavioral therapy, cognitive processing therapy (CPT) exposure therapy, and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). Whereas CBT uses cognitive restructuring to help people identify and learn to change irrational or unhelpful thoughts and behaviors, EMDR can be especially helpful in mitigating unpleasant memories. EMDR can also help lessen some PTSD symptoms, like mood changes, flashbacks, nightmares, increased emotional intensity, or emotional numbness.
Other ways to cope with traumatic stress and distressing emotions include talking to trusted friends and family members. Asking for help with household chores, cooking, or childcare can also be beneficial, as it can relieve some of the stress in your daily life.
Do your best to get sufficient sleep, eat nutritious food, exercise regularly, and engage in other forms of self-care. It can also help to seek out healthy coping skills. Activities like meditation, breathing exercises, and grounding techniques may also be beneficial.
What are signs of unhealed childhood trauma?
Signs of unhealed childhood trauma can be similar to those of any other type of untreated trauma. People may experience mood changes, like depression, anger, or irritability, as well as behavioral disturbances, like self-isolation, increased impulsivity, or self-harm.
Childhood trauma survivors may experience anxiety symptoms, but they can also develop PTSD, which is associated with multiple poor health outcomes, including impairment that can develop years after the trauma occurs. Studies have found that repeated childhood trauma can significantly affect attachment, personality development, and coping skills and increase the risk for psychiatric illness. Some research has found that PTSD and trauma may have a bidirectional relationship, meaning that people who have been exposed to trauma are at increased risk of developing PTSD and that PTSD is associated with more subsequent trauma exposure, which can affect a child who has experienced trauma throughout their life.
Whether people were sexually abused, experienced a terrifying event like a car accident, or lived through natural disasters, trauma in childhood can affect brain development, which can influence how they think and behave in adulthood. When a child grows up feeling afraid or living in extreme stress, it can have a strong affect the individual's ability to interpret stress properly. As they grow up, they may be easily triggered and experience physical reactions and strong emotional responses disproportionate to typical amounts of stress.
How do you know your body is releasing trauma?
Trauma can physically affect the body, including sleep disturbances, skin, urinary, neurological, cardiovascular, musculoskeletal, respiratory, and gastrointestinal disorders.
When your body releases trauma, you may experience improved sleep patterns and other physical symptoms, such as aches, pains, appetite changes, and fatigue, that begin to resolve. People who have symptoms like oversensitivity to sound or visual stimuli, discomfort in settings that remind them of the event, or vivid dreams and nightmares may start to experience a reduction in these trauma symptoms.
What is the best therapy for repressed memories?
While there is still some controversy about repressed memories, there are some therapeutic techniques that may help people who believe events from their past that they don’t remember may be affecting their lives. These may include guided imagery, hypnosis, or regression therapy.
Why am I suddenly remembering bad things from my childhood?
Bad memories can appear suddenly for a variety of reasons. One may be negativity bias, which is the tendency of people to recall negative memories more readily than positive ones. Memories of past events can suddenly come back as an extreme stress response when someone experiences a situation that reminds them of how they felt during the event they are remembering. These can be memories of challenging or frightening events, or they can be memories of past traumas.
What does childhood trauma look like in adults?
People who experience trauma in childhood trauma can have symptoms that manifest in a variety of ways.
- Somatic symptoms. Adult survivors of childhood abuse may experience unexplainable medical symptoms, chronic pain, fibromyalgia, and irritable bowel symptoms.
- Altered emotional regulation: These symptoms can appear as self-harm, irritability, hyperarousal, and suicidal ideation.
- Avoidance: Behaviors associated with avoidance can include eating disorders, substance use, or getting absorbed in activities as a distraction, like overworking.
- Re-experiencing and dissociation: Adults who have experienced childhood trauma may experience flashbacks, nightmares, or depersonalization.
Trauma can also affect our core beliefs, which are “guiding values that help people make sense of the world around them.” When someone’s core beliefs are violated, they are left without a reliable framework for interpreting the world. In adulthood, this may lead to various challenges, including difficulty trusting others, low self-esteem, and hypervigilance.
Can you remove bad memories from the subconscious mind?
There is no way to remove or erase bad memories from the subconscious mind, but working to confront and process them can help lessen their effects. While there is some debate about whether people can experience repressed memories, if a person experiences a traumatic event, they may have intrusive thoughts that can make them feel emotions that have strong associations with the trauma. Working with a mental health professional to learn how to manage these intrusive memories can be beneficial.
What mental illness is caused by childhood trauma?
Each mental illness has specific diagnostic criteria, but many survivors of childhood trauma experience increased risks of various conditions that can co-occur, including PTSD, mood disorders, anxiety disorders, borderline personality disorder, antisocial personality disorder, and alcohol or substance use disorder.
It is also worth noting that experts have identified protective factors against adverse childhood events, including doing well in school, having caring adults and role models outside of the family, and families with caregivers who have steady employment or college degrees, encourage the importance of school, and cultivate safe, close relationships.
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