How To Manage Family Dynamics And Dementia Effectively

Medically reviewed by Andrea Brant, LMHC
Updated October 8, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Having a family member diagnosed with dementia can often change the dynamics within the home. An individual with dementia may increasingly depend on their loved ones, requiring more assistance with daily activities over time. As a result, each family member may adapt to new responsibilities and emotional demands, which can strain family relationships over time. 

Caregivers may find themselves balancing the demands of caregiving with their personal lives, careers, and overall health. Families may experience increased stress and potential conflicts as everyone adjusts. Balancing emotions and responsibilities can often involve a strong support network and open communication among family members. 

A woman wraps her arm around her elderly female relatives shoulder as the both stand outside on sunny day and smile at the camera.
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Dementia can affect mental health and family relationships

Why consider family dynamics? 

A family’s structure and overall relationships can often shape the nature of caregiving. In a traditional nuclear family structure comprising parents and children, the close bonds within the family may enable focused care if one parent experiences dementia. However, adult children may experience a heavy burden if they experience limited family support while managing the demands of caring for a parent with dementia.

How family dynamics can affect dementia care

Contrarily, extended families living together, including grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, can distribute caregiving responsibilities more evenly. This setup may provide a built-in support system where multiple family members can contribute to caregiving tasks, thus easing the burden on any individual. However, with more family members involved, there may be more moving parts to manage, potentially requiring effective communication and coordination to ensure smooth caregiving practices and avoid conflicts or misunderstandings.

Ways to manage family dynamics and dementia care

Balancing family dynamics and dementia can be difficult, given the condition's impact on both the individual and the relationships with other family members. Yet, there are several ways to promote a peaceful caregiving atmosphere, with clear communication playing a crucial role. One aspect of managing family dynamics and dementia can be upholding the individual's dignity and independence. Below are other ways to manage caregiving and family dynamics. 

Clearly define and assign roles to each caregiver

Defining and assigning roles among family caregivers in family caregiving contexts may help the family manage the dynamics of dementia care. Clear communication allows each family member to understand their responsibilities and contribute in their own way.

It may be helpful that family carers agree on each person’s role to prevent tasks from being overlooked or duplicated.

Examples of assigning roles may look like the following: 

  • Medical care: Family member A manages doctor’s visits and medications, while family member B tracks health changes and communicates with healthcare providers.
  • Daily care: Family caregiver C assists with personal grooming and meals, while family caregiver D ensures a comfortable living environment and leisure activities.
  • Legal and financial matters: Family caregiver E oversees legal documents, insurance, and bills, while adult child F coordinates with financial institutions and manages assets.

Hold regular family meetings to review and adjust the care plan

Regular family gatherings may be a practical way to manage the challenges of caring for a family member with dementia. These meetings can allow family members and caregivers to come together, tell updates, and adjust the care plan to meet the changing needs of their loved one. Below are a few ways to organize these meetings. 

Setting an agenda

It may be helpful for the family to have a clear agenda before each meeting. The person responsible for care coordination may prepare this plan, including speaking points like changes in health status, changes in caregiving duties, or financial matters.

Involving everyone

Effective meetings may encourage the participation of all family members. This aspect not only distributes the weight of decision-making but may also keep lines of communication open. Regular meetings can allow family caregivers to participate, discuss their insights, and express worries. For instance, one caregiver may notice the individual with dementia has increased agitation in the evening, which may indicate the benefit of addressing sundowning behaviors.

Problem-solving

Family meetings can also become a platform for problem-solving. By discussing challenges as a group, the family may brainstorm practical solutions. Suppose a primary caregiver is experiencing burnout. In this case, the family can arrange alternate caregivers to offer relief and support. By holding gatherings regularly, families may tackle problems before they escalate and ensure their loved one receives the appropriate care.

An elderly man sits in a wheelchair in his home as a younger male relative leans down lovingly and wraps an arm around the elderly man and presses their foreheads together while smiling.
Getty/Maskot

Document the wishes of the person with dementia

When a family member is diagnosed with dementia, it may be helpful for everyone involved to discuss their care preferences while they are still able to participate. Early communication may allow the person with dementia to express their desires for future care, providing direction for family members who may later make decisions on their behalf. Common concerns to address might include:

  • Whether their preference is to stay at home with support, move to an assisted living facility, or receive care in another setting
  • Choices concerning medical treatments, palliative care options, or hospice services
  • Who the individual wants to receive care from 

Recording these preferences may guarantee that the person's values and decisions are respected, even if they are unable to convey them later.

Encourage regular and honest communication

Encourage family members to have regular conversations where they can openly discuss their thoughts and emotions. Embracing transparency can allow family members to work together in managing the challenges of dementia care. 

For example, if one family member is overwhelmed with caregiving tasks, another may agree to arrange for additional support. When family dynamics become strained, individuals might consider seeking guidance from a professional specializing in elder care. 

Conversation strategies to help manage family dynamics and dementia care

Through honest conversations, families can often maintain healthier relationships during the journey of dementia care. Strategies to communicate openly may include:

  • Listening actively: Encourage family members to express their opinions and concerns without judgment.
  • Mediation: When tensions run high, consider seeking a neutral third-party mediator, such as a counselor or social worker, to guide discussions.
  • Caregiver support: Use available caregiver resources to alleviate stress and provide practical assistance.

In situations where conflicts arise, such as disagreements on care choices like home care versus nursing facilities, prioritizing the needs of the person with dementia and acting in their best interests may guide families to reach decisions as a group. Another common issue may be the unequal division of caregiving duties. Possible solutions could involve establishing a care timetable or considering respite care alternatives to support primary caregivers.

Prioritize self-care for caregivers

While tending to a family member with dementia, caregivers might prioritize the well-being of their loved one over themselves. However, prioritizing self-care can be vital to sustaining caregivers' health. Self-care involves practices that can maintain or improve physical and mental health. Examples of self-care strategies may include the following:

  • Regular physical activity: Incorporating exercise into daily routines may reduce stress and improve overall well-being. Activities like walking, swimming, or yoga may be effective.
  • Adequate rest: Quality sleep is often beneficial for caregivers, as it may help them cope with daily stress.
  • Nutrition: Eating balanced meals may provide energy for caregiving tasks.
  • Support networks: Building a support system, including friends, family, or support groups for caregivers of people with dementia, can promote a sense of community and common experience.

Importance of caregiver mental health

Caregivers may face difficulties like becoming overwhelmed or experiencing burnout. Prioritizing self-care may help caregivers manage the demands of their role more efficiently and maintain the care they offer to their loved ones with dementia. Time management strategies can also be helpful, allowing caregivers to dedicate specific periods to their well-being.

Develop a contingency plan for emergency situations

Emergencies may worsen the stress and confusion commonly experienced by individuals with dementia. Planning may allow for a smoother transition during unforeseen events. A comprehensive plan may include key contact information, medical records, and any legal documents that could be necessary during an emergency. Consider the following steps:

  1. Identify potential emergencies: From natural disasters to unexpected medical events, list scenarios that might require immediate action.
  2. Gather information and documents: Ensure easy medical history, doctor contacts, medication lists, and legal documents like power of attorney.
  3. Define family roles: Assign tasks to family members, such as who will be responsible for evacuating the loved one with dementia.
  4. Prepare an emergency kit: Stock the kit with essential items such as medications, supplies, and comfort items that the person with dementia may need.

By preparing for a range of scenarios, families may reduce the risk of problems like increased anxiety or wandering in individuals with dementia. If an emergency occurs, having a plan may help the individuals manage the situation more effectively, providing a sense of stability and comfort amidst the chaos.

Getty/MoMo Productions
Dementia can affect mental health and family relationships

Seek professional support for family challenges 

Taking care of a family member with dementia may cause significant stress and could lead to mental health challenges for everyone involved. Disagreements and negative family relationship patterns can amplify the difficulties of providing care. 

Benefits of online therapy for family members in caregiver roles

Mental health professionals, particularly mental health nurses and therapists, may specialize in guiding families through stressful times. However, some people may struggle to find in-person support due to a busy schedule or financial constraints. In these cases, online therapy platforms like BetterHelp may be more convenient. 

Effectiveness of online mental health services

Family therapy conducted via online platforms may be beneficial for managing stress and resolving family-related issues. A study highlighted the success of online interventions in managing the mental health effects of caring for someone with dementia. Through online platforms, families can find professionals experienced in addressing the challenges of dementia care. Clients can choose between phone, video, or live chat sessions and unique tools like worksheets, journaling prompts, and online support groups included in the plan. 

Takeaway

Family caregivers often engage in unpaid and potentially emotionally taxing support for loved ones with dementia. Family dynamics can significantly influence the well-being of the person with dementia, the caregiver, and the entire family. However, support networks and other resources may be available to ease the burden potentially. 

Care strategies may include having regular meetings, developing a contingency plan, and seeking professional support to manage the difficulties of caregiving. If you’re ready to seek support, consider contacting a licensed therapist online or in your area to develop a personalized treatment plan.

Navigate the challenges of dementia
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