Tips For Dealing With Holiday Depression And Stress
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The holidays are not the most wonderful time of year for many people. Stress, pressure, financial strain, loneliness, difficult memories, and even mental health conditions like depression can manifest during this time. Here, we’ll take a closer look at some of the emotional and mental health difficulties people may experience during the holidays and have tips for managing and addressing them.
Holiday depression and seasonal affective disorder
Some people report feeling the “holiday blues” at this time of year or having trouble managing the effects of extra stress or overwhelm. These temporary feelings are different from experiencing symptoms of a clinical condition like major depressive disorder, which only a qualified mental health professional can diagnose. Seasonal affective disorder (SAD)—another form of depression—may also affect people at this time of year. SAD is particularly common in parts of the world where there’s limited sunlight in winter months, which is why light therapy is sometimes recommended for this condition.
Seasonal stress and its link to depression and holiday blues
Major depressive disorder and SAD can have similar symptoms, some of which can be brought about or exacerbated by additional stressors common at this time of year. The “holiday blues” may manifest in some of these ways too, but those symptoms are typically less severe and shorter-lived than forms of clinical depression.
Signs of depression during the holidays and beyond
Here are a few signs that may point to some form of depression, whether it starts as “holiday depression” or occurs at any other time of year:
- Withdrawal from social interactions
- Irritability and mood swings
- Sadness, hopelessness, or apathy
- Significant changes in sleeping or eating habits
- The inability to take pleasure in activities once enjoyed
Again, feeling low during the holidays is not the same as experiencing a mental health condition like depression or SAD. Regardless, a mental health professional can help you unpack and manage any difficult feelings you may be facing at this time of year.
Causes of depression around the holidays
The stress or loneliness of this time of year has the potential to exacerbate an existing mental health condition or trigger the onset of certain conditions, such as depression. Whether you’re feeling the “holiday blues,” suspect you may have depression, or perceive that your existing depression has worsened lately, it may be due to any of several different aspects of this season, such as:
Difficult memories
Those who had traumatic experiences during the holidays in the past may relive memories or emotions associated with those times each year. Someone who has lost a loved one with whom they used to spend holidays may also face difficult feelings during this season.
Comparison
Thanks to movies, social media, and even picture-perfect holiday cards, this season can involve unrealistic expectations and make it hard to avoid comparing ourselves and our lives to those of others. When it appears that family and friends around you are having a joyous, perfect holiday season—regardless of how true that actually is—constantly comparing that to one's own reality can take a toll on personal mental health.
Isolation
The holidays can be especially difficult for those who lack family, community, or other social connections with whom to spend the season. Whether they’re estranged from or have lost loved ones, live far away from them and are unable to travel because of illness, finances, or physical disabilities, or are facing social isolation for some other reason, being alone during the holidays can have a negative impact on a person's mental health.
Stress
This time of year is stressful for many people. A jam-packed schedule full of holiday activities, traveling or hosting guests, buying gifts, managing financial demands, dealing with family conflict, and handling other elements of the season can become overwhelming and may even lead to burnout. A lack of sleep, exercise, and sufficient nutrition as a result of this busyness can have negative effects on one’s mental state, too. Plus, stress can often exacerbate the symptoms of existing mental health disorders. Symptoms of bipolar disorder, for example, can be triggered by stressful circumstances or situations.
Tips for dealing with holiday depression
If you’re experiencing signs of a mental health condition or would simply like support in managing stress at any time of year, it’s recommended that you meet with a therapist. We’ll discuss this in greater detail below. Then, we’ll discuss other strategies that may also help you manage increased stress or worsened depression during the holidays.
1. Meet with a therapist
It’s important to note that seeking treatment from a mental health professional is typically recommended if you suspect you may have a mental health condition like depression. Therapy is also usually one of the key components of treatment for a number of other conditions, from bipolar disorder to anxiety disorders to substance use disorders. A trained therapist can provide a safe space where you can express how you’re feeling, and they can help you create strategies to manage your symptoms as needed and connect you with additional resources if desired.
Remember that it’s usually best to seek treatment in the way that feels most comfortable for you. If online therapy would be more convenient for you than in-person sessions, you might consider exploring a virtual therapy platform like BetterHelp. It can match you with a licensed therapist who you can meet with remotely from the comfort of home. Since research suggests that online therapy may provide similar benefits to in-person sessions, some people find this to be a more convenient option. If you prefer in-person treatment, you can search for providers in your local area instead. Depending on your health insurance, a referral to a therapist may be needed; in this case, consult with your PCP or find a doctor who can assess you and refer you to a therapist who is both accepted by your insurance and whom specializes in what you need.
2. Set healthy boundaries
Setting boundaries with family and friends may help you safeguard your mental health, especially during the holiday season. While you should generally take care not to socially isolate yourself, since this can lead to additional negative mental health outcomes, saying no to or putting limits on social gatherings, parties, or travel that may increase your discomfort or stress may be helpful.
You might also set boundaries regarding what conversation topics you won’t engage on when spending time with family who you don’t see eye to eye with. You could even set financial limits on how much you’ll spend on gifts, if anything, or how far you’ll travel for holiday celebrations. Remember that you have the right to do what’s best for you and your mental health, even if that doesn’t align with “tradition” or meet the expectations of others.
3. Embrace new traditions
This tip is especially applicable to those who have traumatic memories of past holidays or are coping with the loss of a loved one they used to spend holidays with. While honoring traditions may help some who are grieving, creating entirely new ones may be the right approach for others.
Participating in a Friendsgiving dinner with your chosen family rather than your biological family is one example of how you might do this. Convincing your family to do a biscuit exchange or Secret Santa instead of buying gifts for each other is another idea for a simple way to mix up traditions that may be painful or stressful.
Think about the parts of the holidays that you don’t like or that trigger difficult feelings or memories for you, and then try brainstorming alternatives that may help you form new associations.
4. Keep up with healthy habits
Sleeping enough, eating nutritious foods, and exercising can be more difficult for people who are experiencing depression, but research suggests that they can all be beneficial for managing symptoms. For instance, several peer-reviewed studies suggest a link between regular consumption of nutritious foods and a lower risk of developing symptoms of depression. Similarly, research indicates that exercise may help alleviate symptoms of depression.
If you find that depression symptoms make it more challenging to practice self-care in these ways, a therapist may be able to help you find more creative strategies. It could also help to find a friend you can take regular walks with, for instance, or link up with a partner or family members to prep some nourishing meals.
5. Practice self-compassion
While movies, social media, and even the news may encourage you to interpret that you’re “doing it wrong” if you’re not experiencing a joyous, picture-perfect holiday season, try to remind yourself that it’s okay to experience difficult thoughts, memories and feelings during this time. It’s okay to not celebrate the way others do, or at all, and it’s okay to not enjoy this time of year.
When you’re feeling overwhelmed, try to be patient and gentle with yourself. There’s no “right” way to experience the holidays, and it’s understandable to find this time of year filled with moments or thoughts that are difficult, stressful, or sad. Focus on taking care of yourself and seeking the support you may need to manage tough emotions or mental health conditions like depression during this time.
Takeaway
The holidays are a difficult and fraught time for many. If you’re concerned that the sadness you’re feeling at this time of year may be indicative of depression, bipolar disorder, or another condition, the tips on this list may help you take care of yourself and manage your symptoms as you pursue professional care as well.
Frequently asked questions
Read more below for answers to questions commonly asked about tips for dealing with holiday depression.
How do holidays affect mental health conditions like depression and seasonal affective disorder?
There are statistics on holidays and mental health.
According to the National Alliance of Mental Illness or Nami website, 64% of individuals who live with mental health conditions or a mental health disorder (IE, clinical depression) find that the holidays make their condition worse. Specifically, 24% of those who live with a diagnosed mental illness of some kind find that the holidays make their disorder or condition “a lot” worse, and 40% say that the holidays make their disorder or condition “somewhat” worse.
Similarly, even those without a diagnosable mental health condition may experience holiday sadness or the holiday blues. Although they may come with holiday cheer, not everyone experiences holidays such as Thanksgiving day, Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, or New Year’s Day the same. Amidst all of the holiday decorations, these can be times of stress.
If you live with a condition such as seasonal affective disorder (SAD), also called major depression with a seasonal pattern, it may be beneficial to seek professional help in the form of talk therapy.
There are a number of ways to make this more affordable, such as online therapy platforms like BetterHelp and professionals in your area who offer sliding scale rates. A therapist can help you set realistic goals, find coping skills, and build a treatment plan that works for you as a unique person.
Alongside professional support, there are numerous ways to help yourself cope with holiday stress. For example, stress management and self-care activities such as meal prep, meditation, breathing exercises, or physical activity, setting boundaries so that you do not take on more stress, and spending time with supportive and caring people can all be helpful.
Supportive people in your life may include but are not limited to old or new friends, loved ones such as a significant other or a specific family, and people in a support group that you attend. Social connection can be crucial.
After all, it’s linked to lower stress levels as well as other improved markers of both physical and mental health.
Why do I struggle with holiday depression?
There are a number of different reasons as to why someone may struggle with holidays. First, the holiday season is during a time when many individuals experience seasonal depression. It is considered very common to have seasonal affective disorder or major depressive disorder with a seasonal pattern.
In fact, according to the MHA or Mental Health America website, SAD affects 5% of the US population. Patterns of SAD may start in late fall and endure through late spring, though they can vary and may also occur during the Summer for some. Second, the holiday season can be a significant source of stress. Some people don’t get along with their family, find it difficult to be in the area where their family live, which they might visit during holiday season, or may experience stress that relates to family and holiday events in another way.
The holiday season can also be a time of financial stress. If you have experienced grief or the loss of a loved one, this can be a challenge during the holidays.
All in all, you aren’t alone if you don’t find the holiday season an easy time, and there are various things that can help. Attending talk therapy, surrounding yourself with supportive and caring people, such as your friends or other loved ones (IE, a romantic partner), and self-care can all be advantageous.
Hobbies and low-stress activities like art, window shopping, and so on, may be something to highlight. Don’t hesitate to reach out for support if you notice ongoing feelings of sadness or otherwise need space to talk.
What are holiday blues?
The vacation blues generally refer to the feelings of sadness someone might encounter post-vacation. If you’re experiencing the “vacation blues,” you may find yourself comparing today to how you felt on vacation, especially if you experienced less stress or more joy while away.
There are a couple of things that can help people avoid the vacation blues or post-vacation sadness. First, it can help to plan ahead; you may clean your home before you go to set yourself up for success, as example. Second, you might plan something to look forward to after your vacation.
What if the blues don’t go away? If you experience persistent feelings of sadness, have trouble with important activities, or otherwise experience ongoing concerns, reach out to a professional who can help, such as a therapist.
Why don't I like the holiday season?
There are a number of reasons as to why someone might not like the holidays. Holiday stress is common and might relate to finances, family life, being away from your support system due to travel, or something else.
If you experienced an adverse event during the holiday season in the past, the holidays might prompt negative memories and sadness. People may be more apt to engage in excessive drinking - this can be difficult for those with a history of alcohol use disorder and other similar concerns.
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