What Is Living With Depression Like?

Depression is a complex mental health condition, with symptoms that can manifest in varying ways. Whether you're living with symptoms of depression yourself or know someone diagnosed, you might wonder what it feels like to have depression. It can be helpful for anyone from any background to understand the symptoms of depression and to recognize it in themselves and others in case it occurs. In addition, symptoms of depression can vary from person to person, which may cause difficulty in identifying this condition. 

What is depression?

The National Alliance on Mental Illness defines depression as a serious mental illness that requires professional understanding and mental healthcare. Left untreated, depression can have significant impacts on an individual’s life. There are several depressive disorders listed in the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V). These include major depressive disorder (MDD), seasonal affective disorder (SAD), postpartum depression (PPD), and persistent depressive disorder (PDD). The mental illness most people associate with the term depression is major depressive disorder, also called major depression or clinical depression. 

Some people may associate depression with sadness or "feeling blue." However, it's more than that. When someone is depressed, they may struggle with feeling hopeless, worthless, lonely, and unmotivated. Some people, especially men, may also feel extreme anger and irritability. Depression can cause significant changes to one's daily functioning. Additionally, depression can develop alongside several other mental health conditions, such as anxiety disorders, substance use disorder, and post-traumatic stress disorder.  

Around  8.4% of US adults have had at least one depressive episode. Some people only have one episode in their lifetime, and others experience them regularly. Episodes of depression can last from a couple of weeks to years, depending on the depressive disorder diagnosed.

The symptoms of depression can vary from one person to the next, but there are a few common symptoms, including but not limited to the following: 

• Changes in appetite, along with weight loss or gain

• Changes in sleep habits

• Withdrawal from family and friends 

• Disinterest in hobbies

• A feeling of emptiness 

• Feelings of sadness or hopelessness

• Difficulty concentrating and a lack of motivation

• Suicidal thoughts

• Physical pain and digestive symptoms 

What is it like to have depression? 

Depression can also cause individuals to struggle to partake in self-care. Brushing your teeth, washing your hair, exercising, and eating healthy meals may feel impossible when depression seems to be in control. In addition, you might purposefully hold yourself back from social interactions, feeling as if you don't "deserve" connections or that people would be "happier" without you. These feelings can worsen your sadness, as loneliness is often associated with depression. 

Having depression can feel like an all-encompassing black cloud that follows you around and causes you to struggle to interact with others, care for yourself, and focus on your daily life. You might feel like the world has lost meaning or that you no longer know how to enjoy yourself. These feelings can also cause anxiety, dread, or anger to arise. 

If you're feeling this way, know you're not alone. Over 280 million people worldwide live with depression, which is highly treatable. Many people find relief by talking to a healthcare provider. A medical or mental health professional can provide you with screenings and determine whether further testing, a diagnosis, and treatment are necessary. There are also options for treatment-resistant depression. 

How to explain what depression feels like to others

Depression can be difficult to explain to others. The stigma surrounding mental health has made it challenging for some people to admit to themselves and others that they're struggling. If you have been impacted by these stigmas, admitting that you have depression to someone else might feel scary or "weak." However, these stereotypes are untrue. Being open about depression is brave, and you're strong for seeking social support despite your symptoms. 

Explain how your symptoms feel to you

When you talk to people about depression to help them understand, you can tell them a few key areas of your symptoms. For example, you may tell them that you logically understand when there are no reasons to feel depressed but that the condition causes you to feel that way anyways. You may tell them that it feels like you have no control over your experiences or body. 

Discuss your physical symptoms 

A depressive disorder may lead to serious physical health complications. For example, seasonal affective disorder can significantly affect your sleep patterns. If you’re living with depression, try to explain to others how depression can also be connected to physical symptoms, like fatigue. Being exhausted can make it challenging to complete daily tasks, even if you've been able to complete them in the past. Without energy, making decisions as you used to can be challenging. Helping those you love to understand this change can help them understand why you may have changed in these areas. 

Reassure them 

If the person you're talking to is someone you're close with, such as a spouse or parent, try to let them know that your depression does not reflect how they treat you or love you. They may feel they did something wrong to contribute to these feelings. Let them know that you're not looking for them to fix you or try to make themselves responsible. Instead, express your desire for unconditional love and support. 

How to live with depression and healthily cope

Regardless of the symptoms you experience, depression is treatable. If you are living with depression, there may be hope to find symptom remission or reduce the severity of your condition with proper mental health care. Educating yourself on the available treatments for depression can be essential. In some cases, a combination of the following approaches may be appropriate. 

Medications

Some people may find benefits in taking medications. When paired with other forms of treatment, such as therapy, antidepressants can be a temporary solution that reduces symptoms to help individuals find the motivation to continue treatment with a therapist. 

When taking antidepressants, there may be a few side effects. Your doctor may make a few adjustments to the type and dosage of your antidepressant, depending on your needs. Side effects can include worsening depression and suicidal thoughts, so pay attention to how you feel when taking medication. In addition, do not start, change, or stop a medication without professional guidance from your doctor. 

Self-care

When living with depression, you may sometimes struggle to care for yourself. Finding ways to engage in regular self-care can help. However, when you're unmotivated and down, you might find it difficult to focus on your eating, sleeping, and other personal responsibilities. 

Some people experience a change of appetite when living with depression. For some, this symptom can mean overeating. For others, it can mean forgoing meals. If you struggle to have an appetite, try eating bite-sized and manageable snacks throughout the day. You can keep them near your bed in a snack cart or mini fridge if it helps. Note that eating any food can be healthier and better than eating no food, so if you're judging yourself about what you eat, try to be gentle and empathetic to what you're going through. 

You may want to sleep all day when you're depressed, particularly if you’re living with a condition like seasonal affective disorder. However, try not to let the feeling pull you down. Set several alarms if needed, and give yourself the incentive to give up. For example, perhaps you'll get a coffee or some fun time at the park with your dog if you wake up on time. In addition, waking up on time can ensure you don't experience poor performance at school or work. 

Social support can also be helpful when you’re living with symptoms of depression. Depression support groups can help you connect with individuals who are experiencing similar challenges. Through a support group, you can learn new coping strategies, find emotional support, and discuss your experiences with depression. 

Shower, brush your teeth, wash your clothes, and do the dishes when you can. While these tasks might be difficult to conceptualize while depressed, you might try downloading a task-tracking app to help you. An app that allows you to care for an animal or creature while you complete real-life tasks may help motivate you to continue. 

Therapy

If you're living with depression, meeting regularly with a therapist can help you manage symptoms and find symptom remission. A therapist can teach you coping skills and talk you through your symptoms. Evidence shows that combining antidepressant medication and therapy may be more effective than either treatment alone. If your doctor recommends a treatment plan that includes therapy, multiple options are available to you. 

Some people who experience depression might find it challenging to get out of bed, and the idea of calling a therapist, commuting to an office for in-person treatment, or being on a waiting list can feel overwhelming. For this reason, some people with depression find online therapy through a platform like BetterHelp effective. Online, you can be matched with a therapist specializing in your unique symptoms and diagnosis. In addition, you can meet your therapist from home, whether you choose video, phone, or chat sessions.  

Studies show that online treatment is effective. One review found that some forms of online therapy are more effective than in-person treatment for depression. The researchers also noted that clients were equally satisfied with both in-person and online therapy results. Online therapy may benefit you if you're looking for a cost-effective, convenient, and flexible treatment.