What To Do When Your Family Says Depression Is Not Real

Medically reviewed by Andrea Brant, LMHC and Nikki Ciletti, M.Ed, LPC
Updated October 8, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

If you have been diagnosed with a depressive disorder or believe you may be living with depression, it can be painful to hear that your parents and your family believe depression isn't real. Having an open and honest conversation with them about the symptoms you're experiencing may be helpful, but it can also lead to further invalidation. 

Friends, support groups, and mental health professionals can provide a safe space to talk about your symptoms and your experience. In addition, you might consider working with a therapist to discuss your family's position on these matters and how to move forward. You're not alone, and depression is a real and serious mental illness, impacting over 280 million adults worldwide.

Living with depression can be difficult, but you’re not alone

What is depression and its mental health impact?

The Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA) defines depression as major depressive disorder (MDD) and other depressive disorders, mental health conditions that affect over 280 million people worldwide. The ADAA explains that depression is characterized by having at least five out of nine common symptoms. Below are several of the symptoms that those with MDD may experience: 

Symptoms of depression

  • An overwhelming and pervasive sense of sadness that doesn't go away
  • Feelings of worthlessness
  • Difficulty with social interactions
  • Fatigue 
  • Recurrent thoughts of suicidal ideation
  • Lack of interest in previously enjoyed activities
  • Pronounced increase or decrease in appetite 
  • Significant memory loss 
  • Difficulty concentrating

If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts or urges, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988. Support is available 24/7.

Recognizing major depressive disorder

When these symptoms persist for more than two weeks, they may meet the criteria for major depression. For many people, untreated depression can last a long time, even years. If you believe you’re experiencing symptoms of depression, make an appointment with a mental health professional. Symptoms of depression may also be associated with other mental health conditions, like bipolar disorder.

You are not alone in your depressive disorder

If you're experiencing these symptoms, you may know that depression is more than sadness a lack of motivation, or simply going through a hard time. It may help you to know that you do not have to work through these symptoms alone. Your experience is real, and support is available. 

Even if your family doesn't understand what you're experiencing, try to validate these experiences for yourself. It may also be helpful to note that your family may not be your only source of support. You can connect with friends, support groups, or a qualified therapist to discuss these symptoms in further detail.

If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts or urges, call the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 or text 988 to talk to a crisis provider over SMS. They are available 24/7 to offer support. 988 also offers an online chat for those with an internet connection.

How to react when your family says "depression is not real" 

If you feel comfortable discussing your mental health with your family, there may be some communication strategies you can employ to help them understand. Some family members may struggle to be caring and might act insensitive toward you. They may have their own challenges with stigma and denial regarding mental illness. If they don't understand mental illness, they could feel frightened or confused when you try to describe your emotions and experiences. 

Addressing stigma in family conversations

Your families may struggle to believe that an "invisible" illness exists and can have mental and physical impacts. Although they may be kind people that you love profoundly, their beliefs may cause you to feel alone in your condition. To combat these beliefs, consider the following steps. 

Share mental health resources

When tackling difficult conversations with people who don't understand depression, try to be aware of various resources you can use to combat misinformation. For example, the American Psychiatric Association explains why depression is a real mental health concern with serious impacts. While health websites can be useful resources for learning about certain conditions and treatments, the internet is not considered a reliable source for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you believe you’re experiencing symptoms of depression, make an appointment with a licensed mental health professional.

Speak openly and honestly 

Even though it might be difficult, try to be open and honest with your family members about the symptoms you're experiencing. Suppose your family is not open to viewing resources or having an open conversation about depression. In that case, you might also seek support elsewhere or consider family therapy to discuss these challenges further and have a professional to back you up. 

Living with depression can be difficult, but you’re not alone

Find professional support 

When family members aren't supportive, reaching out for professional support may be beneficial. Therapy can be a beneficial way to address depression and alleviate the symptoms you're experiencing. Mental health professionals are well-versed in medically reviewed studies that recognize the impacts depression can have on a person’s health as well as which treatments are most effective. They can offer treatment advice, diagnosis, and help you cope with your symptoms. if visiting a therapist's office to attend in-person sessions seems insurmountable, you may prefer to try online therapy through a platform like BetterHelp, where you can talk to a provider from home. 

Online platforms can connect you with a therapist specializing in your unique goals and symptoms. You can also connect with multiple therapeutic modalities, depending on your preferences. Online therapy is often customizable to your needs, and you can stop or change therapists anytime.

One study explains that online therapy can be effective in treating depression. The study's participants experienced a notable reduction in depression symptoms sustained long-term after treatment. 

Takeaway

If you're living with depression, unsupportive family members can make it more difficult to receive support. However, it may be helpful to know you're not alone. You can use resources to educate your family about mental illness and implement positive talking points to make difficult conversations easier. However, if your family still doesn't understand or support you, other sources of support may be available. You can reach out to friends, co-workers, support groups, or professionals who may be more understanding. If you're ready to seek treatment for your depression, therapy is one tool to get started.
Depression is treatable, and you're not alone
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