Breaking Barriers: Mental Health Conversations At Home
Mental health may be considered a taboo subject in some families and homes in the United States. Because mental illnesses and challenges have only recently been more extensively studied and understood, some people may not be aware of the various ways that mental health can affect a person.
Mental health conversations at home
When one family member or individual in a household is experiencing a mental illness or wants to talk about their feelings or topics like trauma, stress, or healthy relationships, they may be met with confusion, stereotypes, denial, rejection, and other challenging responses. Encouraging mental health conversations at home can be a step toward improving the home environment and breaking generational barriers.
The importance of mental health transparency
Mental health transparency sheds light on the number of people in the United States and worldwide experiencing a mental health concern.
Despite so many Americans living with a mental illness, stigma continues to exist in society. Stigma involves stereotypes, false beliefs, and unfair assumptions about a group of people—in this case, those with mental health concerns. When a family participates in stigmatizing comments, harmful jokes, or an environment in which mental health topics are silenced, individuals in that family may be afraid of opening up about their symptoms or challenges, which may lead to difficulty seeking professional support.
Societal treatment of mental illnesses can also play a role in how they are viewed in families. Stigma spread by healthcare systems, media, and political figures can lead to high levels of stigma in communities. Reducing stigma can start with one person. Being able to open up about mental health, even if one is not living with a mental health condition, may encourage others to feel safe and seen when they discuss their story.
How to address stigma with family and loved ones
If you’re ready to start the conversation about mental health with those in your household, consider the following ideas to create an open environment.
Discuss the facts
People may be unknowingly living with biases they’ve picked up throughout the years due to societal myths about mental illness. For example, some people might believe that depression is “sadness” or that it can be cured with nature, yoga, or a positive mindset. They may not realize that mental illnesses are physical and intertwined with other systems in the body, causing chemical and neurological changes that make it difficult to function.
When starting the conversation, consider showing the people in your household several studies that illustrate the importance of mental health. You can use scientific and peer-reviewed studies backed by multiple researchers. You might also use information from reputable sources like the CDC to share information. Studies on how stigma is harmful to individuals may also help drive home the point that participating in these biases can lead to a sense of rejection and a blockage in communication in families.
Explain what mental health means to you
If you’re interested in speaking to your family about mental health because you’re personally worried about a mental illness, it may be helpful to explain why you’re seeking their support and understanding. For example, you might let them know the importance of social connection and a loving environment in healing, or you can state that you’re hoping they’ll participate in your treatment, supporting your efforts to improve your symptoms.
Speak up about your boundaries
Boundaries are a way to express your limits for your time, energy, body, emotions, belongings, and communication abilities. When you set boundaries around mental health, you let people know what best supports or harms you. Common boundaries surrounding mental health might include:
- Not engaging in conversations that use aggressive language or yelling
- Asking a person to stop making jokes about mental health
- Speaking up when someone uses a stigmatizing term or label that could be interpreted as offensive or hurtful
- Cutting off or limiting ties with those who do not fully love and support you or those who treat you poorly
- Continuing to practice mental healthcare, even when others do not understand or support you
- Taking space for yourself to practice self-care, even when others have other expectations of you
- Not giving all of your energy and time to helping other people when it harms you
How to have productive mental health conversations at home
When conversing with your family or loved ones about mental health, there are a few strategies you can use to attempt to soften the conversation and approach them in a way that encourages safety and openness.
Actively listen
Active listening is a skill used to show others you are attempting to understand their point of view and are listening to understand instead of only to respond. To practice this skill, you might use kind body language and remain attentive while another individual speaks. When they finish, you can repeat what they said to ensure you understood correctly.
You can also ask open-ended questions and offer validation that shows you are paying attention in the form of statements like “I hear that you’re frustrated right now” or “It sounds like you’ve been going through a tough time.” Even if you disagree with their opinion, you can find a way to connect with them emotionally. You may find that this approach encourages them to also engage in active listening.
Avoid blaming and insults
It may help to avoid using aggressive language with insults or blame to communicate with those you love. Even if you are extremely emotional or upset by something they’ve said, you might try setting a boundary for yourself instead of attempting to hurt or treat them the same way they treat you. A productive conversation is often based on compassion, empathy, and an attempt to repair rifts.
Step away if you need to
Moving away from a conversation or person can be healthy if productivity and compassion are not present. You might consider advocating for yourself by communicating when you need space or believe the conversation is not going to come to a healthy resolution. If you’re experiencing difficulty having a conversation with an individual on your own, you might also consider professional help, such as family therapy, which could help you come to a resolution alongside a third party with training in evidence-based communication practices.
Generational gaps in mental health knowledge
Different generations sometimes have different exposure to mental health topics. Specific terminology may have been expected when a person was younger but is now considered offensive. Research suggests that younger generations tend to better identify symptoms of mental illness and ways to seek help.
When approaching family members and attempting to break barriers, consider how a person’s education and background may have impacted them. If you’re an older individual in the family, you might consider being open to learning more about what young people are experiencing in society and how they may be navigating mental health.
As mental health becomes a more visible and understood topic, more people may be diagnosed and receive treatment. Although it can seem like more people are mentally ill than in the past, it is possible that people in the past were unable or afraid to seek support due to unsafe mental health treatment conditions and higher levels of stigma.
Support options
Talking to loved ones about mental health can be scary and frustrating. If you’re unsure how to broach this topic or want advice concerning an unsupportive family member, it may be helpful to seek professional guidance from a therapist. However, some individuals may face barriers to receiving therapy in person. In these cases, online therapy through a platform may be more convenient.
Through an online platform, you can meet with a therapist from any location with an internet connection and choose between phone, video, or live chat sessions. In addition, online platforms tend to be more affordable than in-person therapy without insurance.
Studies show that internet-based support can be effective for mental disorders like anxiety and depression. In one study on the use of internet-based cognitive behavioral therapy (ICBT), researchers found that ICBT was “effective in the treatment and management of various psychiatric disorders such as depression, GAD and social anxiety, panic disorders, phobias, addiction and substance use disorders, adjustment disorder, bipolar disorder, and OCD.”
Takeaway
How do you start mental health conversations at home?
Although it can be difficult, everyone can be comfortable if one is upfront about mental health at home. Choose a pleasant and quiet moment to begin your conversation. One open-ended inquiry you might ask is "I've been thinking a lot about how we're all feeling lately." Listen compassionately; avoid judgment; and consider other people's perspectives. The key is to enable people to express themselves freely.
Why are mental health conversations at home important for family well-being?
Talking about mental health in the house might help the family bond to become stronger. A family may feel less alone and calmer when members share their feelings without regard for judgment.
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