Family Support For LGBTQ+ Youth Of Color: Parents & Caregiver Guide
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Mental health challenges can be common for children and teenagers who identify as LGBTQ+. They may face a higher risk of depression, anxiety, substance misuse, and other concerns. These concerns may be even greater for LGBTQ+ children of color. Family support may be the first step toward protecting these young people’s mental health. Individual therapy can help parents of LGBTQ+ children of color learn to embrace their children’s identities and promote good mental health.
Understanding the challenges facing LGBTQ+ youth
Childhood and adolescence can be stressful as young people explore their identities and relationships while learning more about the world. For LGBTQ+, genderfluid, and gender-expansive youth, these periods of identity development can be especially challenging.
Kids on the LGBTQ+ spectrum may face bullying, discrimination, and a fear of rejection from their peers and loved ones. According to the Association of American Medical Colleges, as many as 30% of LGBT kids report not coming out to their families because they believe their families are not accepting of LGBT people. Another 19% report that they don’t come out because they are unsure how their family members will react.
According to the University of Chicago, LGBTQ+ young adults typically experience homelessness at more than twice the rate of their non-LGBTQ+ counterparts, with Black LGBTQ+ youth facing the highest rates of homelessness.
This may help explain why Black LGBTQ+ youth tend to be more likely to end up in the care of juvenile justice professionals.
Other times, LGBTQ+ children may end up in the child welfare system or placed with foster families. According to the Interagency Working Group on Youth Programs, a disproportionate number of those in child welfare systems are LGBTQ+ youth of color.
Projects by the Human Rights Campaign and other nonprofits often aim to help child welfare professionals provide better care to the LGBTQ+ community.
That said, LGBTQ+ youth in child welfare agencies may still face discrimination and violence. For LGBT youth of color, the risk can be even higher.
These sorts of challenges can have an impact on mental health. According to the Child Mind Institute, LGBTQ+ kids generally face a higher risk of depression, anxiety, substance use disorders, and suicide. These risks tend to be higher for those who lack support and acceptance from their families.
How to provide family support for LGBTQ+ youth of color
LGBTQ+ people of color may face unique forms of prejudice and discrimination, both inside and outside their communities. As an example, the APA points out that LGBTQ+ identities may be denied or seen as shameful in Asian-American communities.
It can be important to note that for LGBTQ+ kids, family support may be a protective factor against mental illness.
Strategies for providing family support for LGBTQ+ youth of color
If you’re the parent or caregiver of an LGBTQ+ child of color, you may wonder how you can best support your child’s mental health. The following strategies may be a useful place to start:
Educate yourself on gender identity and sexual orientation
Understanding different LGBTQ+ issues, terms, and history may help you better support your child. Consider researching different sexualities and gender identities. You may also want to research healthy sexual boundaries, relationships, and interactions in the context of the LGBTQ+ spectrum.
Provide a safe space
Make it clear to your child that you accept them and they can be themselves around you. For parents of transgender youth, do your best to be mindful of their gender identity and use their preferred pronouns. Allow them to develop relationships and friendships with people who support them, and advocate for them if they’re experiencing prejudice or bullying.
Encourage open communication
Your LGBTQ+ child may have complicated feelings about their culture, gender identity, or sexual orientation. It may help to make them feel comfortable discussing these topics. If they’re experiencing a challenge, listen actively and patiently before offering support. Try to avoid putting pressure on them to “figure out” their identity, and practice using inclusive language when discussing LGBTQ+ topics.
Stay culturally connected
LGBTQ+ children of color may benefit from being able to celebrate their culture while also being accepted and loved. Think about how you can integrate traditional foods, artwork, and celebrations into your lifestyle to connect with your child over shared experiences. You can also try looking for ways to make cultural activities more LGBTQ-inclusive.
Celebrate diversity
Similarly, celebrating LGBTQ+ achievements, events, and history may also help your child explore that side of their identity. You might try learning about prominent LGBTQ+ historical figures with your child or choosing movies and books featuring LGBTQ+ characters. Consider connecting with the families of other LGBTQ+ kids to foster a sense of community.
Get support for mental health and well-being
Being an LGBTQ+ child of color can be challenging, but parenting one can bring challenges of its own. Navigating cultural expectations while also being supportive of your child might seem overwhelming at times. However, stress—especially chronic stress—can contribute to various physical and mental health challenges. That’s why you may want to take action to support your own mental health, too. Consider joining a support group for parents of LGBTQ+ kids or creating a self-care regimen to support your well-being.
Work with a mental health professional
Therapy is another resource that may help parents and foster parents of LGBTQ+ children. Working with a mental health professional may help you develop stress management strategies, address challenges in a healthy way, and explore your own mental health.
That said, in-person mental health support may not always be accessible. According to a 2023 report from Mental Health America, the majority of U.S. adults with an unmet mental healthcare need didn’t receive care due to cost.
Online therapy may be a more affordable option. Platforms like BetterHelp can empower you to receive therapy from your own home, with prices starting at $65 per week.
A growing body of research shows that online therapy can effectively treat a wide range of mental health concerns. In 2017, researchers analyzed existing data from 373 studies of internet-based therapy. They found that online therapy could effectively treat anxiety, depression, adjustment disorder, phobias, OCD, and more.
Takeaway
How can family support for LGBTQ+ youth of color improve their mental health and well-being?
Family support can help lower stress and anxiety by offering a sense of acceptance and belonging that strengthens general mental health and well-being. Black families might find ways to connect LGBTQ+ youth with others who understand them to foster a sense of community and social support. Families can emphasize to their loved one the importance of reaching out for support any time they feel stressed or simply want to talk.
What are some ways to provide family support for LGBTQ+ youth of color struggling with gender identity?
Parents, siblings, and other family members can aim to listen without judgment, educate themselves on gender identification, and validate their loved one’s experiences. They might also search for local and online resources for LGBTQ+ youth to hear the stories of other youth and make friends with people who understand some of the challenges of the LGBTQ+ population.
How does family support for LGBTQ+ youth of color impact their comfort in expressing their sexual orientation?
LGBTQ+ young people feel safer and more confident in expressing their true selves when families accept them, therefore fostering better self-esteem and mental health.
Why is it important to address mental health concerns when offering family support for LGBTQ+ youth of color?
Addressing mental health challenges helps young people get the required treatment and assistance they need, preventing despair and anxiety.
How can families create a safe space for discussing gender identity and sexual orientation?
Promote honest and open communication, respect of their space, and a setting in which they feel heard and appreciated. Family members can aim to further their education and be open to films and series that support transgender people and celebrate the various ways that gay and lesbian people express themselves.
How do you deal with an unaccepting family if you're LGBTQ+?
To deal with an unaccepting family, it may help to lean into your support system of welcoming friends. If you don’t yet have a strong support system, you might try to connect with organizations around the country that support LGBTQ+ youth. These organizations may be able to connect you with local adults and youth who understand some of the common life experiences of LGBTQ+ individuals.
What should you not say when your child comes out?
When your child comes out, try to avoid saying anything that dismisses their experience as temporary or invalid. You might reassure them of your unconditional love and support and thank them for opening up to you.
How do you make LGBTQ+ students feel safe?
Educators might support LGBTQ+ students, including queer, non-binary, and gender-expansive people, by being proactive in their efforts to prevent bias-based bullying. Teachers might also make them feel safe by being open to their evolving sense of identity. Welcoming schools can make a big difference in fighting racism, homophobia, transphobia, and other forms of discrimination.
What is the average age of coming out for LGBTQ+ youth of color?
It can be difficult to find data specifically pertaining to LGBTQ+ youth of color. However, the Trevor Project provides the following data regarding LGBTQ+ individuals and age of coming out: “LGBTQ youth are coming out about their sexual orientation at younger ages. LGBTQ youth in our sample who were aged 13-17 came out, on average, at age 13 (M=13.17; SD=16.26), compared to LGBTQ youth ages 18-24 who came out, on average, at age 16 (M=16.26; SD=2.89). Overall, 24% of the sample came out before 13 years old. However, 35% of LGBTQ youth ages 13-17 came out before they were 13 years old compared to only 8% of LGBTQ youth ages 18-24.”
Which mental health conditions do LGBTQ+ youth experience due to traumatic experiences?
LGBTQ+ youth may experience post-traumatic stress disorder, which can result from experiencing or witnessing a traumatic event. Some youth who experience traumatic or hurtful experiences at school may also experience anxiety or depression. Youth who have been in foster care may be at higher risk for mental health conditions if they have experienced traumatic experiences. Child welfare professionals may be able to help youth heal from trauma by learning more about common experiences of LGBTQ+ youth and addressing their experiences as soon as possible.
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