Family Traditions: Importance And Respect
Family traditions can be thought of as activities in which families engage together throughout their lives and pass down from generation to generation. They can involve various events, stories, songs, gifts, or meals. Some families have traditions rooted in religious or cultural beliefs, while others may be unique to their family unit. Traditions can provide ways to bond, show respect, and build a shared family identity. However, some family members may choose not to participate, and there may be other ways to maintain a close relationship with them, including practicing respect, appreciation, and open communication. For help navigating family relationship challenges, consider reaching out to a licensed therapist.
The benefits of family traditions
Research often demonstrates the importance of family and the effects family can have on your well-being. It can be important to note that family doesn’t have to refer to blood relatives, and that a chosen family is also valid.
Family traditions can create special connections with members of your family. They may keep you linked to one another and often come with a sense of familiarity, love, and support. Here are some specific benefits of sharing family traditions:
Maintaining a connection to family
Building a connection to culture
Some traditions may revolve around a family’s culture. Whether you were born in the country or are a second- or third-generation immigrant, your family likely has its own way of integrating traditions from its culture into the traditions of where you live. It can be important to remain connected to your birth culture. Without family traditions, these things may be lost over time, especially if your culture is a minority in your town or city.
Providing a sense of stability
Research shows that family stability tends to be key to supporting children’s well-being. Family traditions can provide structure and a predictable routine, as well as the knowledge that the family will be doing the same thing year after year. In times of stress, returning to family traditions can bring a sense of peace, a belief that life goes on, and a reminder that they have a family who loves them and will continue to support them.
Types of traditions
Family traditions can be big or small. They can be little things you do as a family every day or something you do once a year. Traditions are not necessarily the same as routines. For example, having a cup of coffee with your breakfast, brushing your teeth before bed, or going to the grocery store every Saturday can be considered routines. Traditions typically have more meaning. Here are some family tradition ideas that you may consider starting in your family:
Daily traditions
- Spending a few minutes cuddling your kids in bed every morning
- Writing notes to your kids to tuck in their lunchboxes
- Eating dinner as a family
- Saying hello or goodbye using a special handshake
- Reading your kids the same book every night at bedtime
- Asking your partner about the best part of their day every night before bed
Weekly traditions
- Going out for pizza every Friday night
- Having Meatless Monday dinners
- Watching a football game together every Sunday
- Playing board games on Sunday evenings
- Having a lunch date with your spouse once a week
- Going to church every Sunday
- Going to a grandparent’s house for dinner once a week
Other traditions
- Taking a camping trip the first weekend after school is out
- Celebrating the same holidays at the same family member’s houses every year
- Taking a trip to the beach every July
- Having the same side dishes at Thanksgiving each year
- Baking the same holiday cookies each year
- Picking Halloween pumpkins at the same farm every year
- Getting a live Christmas tree from the same vendor every year
- Going to a family reunion every spring
- Wearing matching pajamas every Christmas Eve
When someone doesn’t want to participate in family traditions
There may come a time when someone in the family does not want to participate in a family tradition. This can happen for many reasons, but a common one might be children growing up and deciding that they no longer want to be a part of some things. Children grow and change, and there will likely come a point when they no longer want to wear matching pajamas or read a bedtime story. Here are some tips for coping with the loss of these traditions.
It’s okay to grieve
It can be sad when children mature and decide not to participate in traditions that may have meant a lot to you when they were young. There is nothing wrong with grieving these changes, but it can be beneficial to make an effort not to place blame on your child.
Don’t take it personally
If your teenage child decides they no longer want to go caroling with the family or are not interested in baking cookies for the holidays, it doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t love the family or don’t want to be a part of it. It can just mean that they are growing up and embracing their individuality.
Find a compromise
Instead of trying to talk them into participating or forcing them to do so, try to come up with a compromise that integrates parts of the old traditions with a new one. For example, if your child doesn’t want to wear matching pajamas anymore, ask them if they would still be willing to watch the traditional Christmas movie. Or, if they don’t want to go to the farm to pick out pumpkins, ask if they would still be willing to help you carve them. By offering a compromise, you may not only be respecting their wishes, but you may also be coming up with your own traditions that you can return to as you look forward to future generations.
Make new family traditions
If you have family members who no longer want to participate in family traditions, work together to make new ones. Ask them for their input and figure out which new traditions you can start together and pass down to future generations.
Strengthening family bonds
Family traditions matter, but there may be other ways to strengthen family bonds, including the following:
Practicing effective communication
Clear communication can help family members deepen their connections and understand each other, as well as set and understand boundaries. To support effective communication, practice active listening and check in with family members regularly.
Solve problems together
Rather than letting problems drive you apart, work on overcoming them together. Brainstorming solutions together can help everyone be part of the process. Once you devise a solution, determine how to best implement it together, with everyone playing a role.
Show respect and appreciation
Giving compliments, recognizing achievements, and expressing gratitude may maintain and strengthen connections. When someone celebrates other family members, it can cultivate closeness and investment in familial relationships.
Consider therapy
Family challenges can be difficult to manage on your own, which is why some people may seek out the help of a licensed mental health professional. A therapist can help you improve your communication skills and learn to empathize with your family members, as well as address any mental health concerns that may be contributing to family difficulties.
If you’re interested in talking to a therapist, consider online mental health treatment. With an online therapy platform like BetterHelp, you can work with a mental health professional from the comfort of your home at a time that fits your schedule.
In addition to being flexible and accessible, research also shows that online treatment can be effective. One review of 14 studies found that online therapy typically led to a 50% improvement in symptoms of generalized anxiety disorder, depression, and other mental health conditions, and it significantly decreased the impact of stress.
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