The Role Of Grandparents In Family Mental Health

Medically reviewed by Andrea Brant, LMHC and Nikki Ciletti, M.Ed, LPC
Updated November 16, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

In some families, grandparents may act as the backbone of support. These individuals may shape family mental health by offering emotional support and caregiving assistance while acting as positive role models. Grandparents often bridge generational gaps, promoting a sense of continuity and belonging. During stressful times, they may diffuse tension and provide a calming presence, positively affecting the mental health of children and grandchildren.

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Family challenges can lead to increased stress

How grandparents are involved in family dynamics

Grandparents may significantly affect family dynamics by offering stability and wisdom from their life experiences. They often fulfill multiple roles, which can positively support the day-to-day life within a family unit.

Grandparents as surrogate parents

When necessary, grandparents may step in as surrogate parents, including in cases of family crises like the death or incapacity of a parent. In multigenerational households, they may act as primary caregivers. This dual role of a grandparent and a parent can lead to overlapping responsibilities and potential role conflicts.

One study found that grandmothers managing these dual roles face unique challenges and often balance different expectations. Findings showed that grandmothers may experience challenges managing conflicted relationships with parents, balancing relationships with spouses, and maintaining relationships with other family members while caregiving for their grandchildren.

The responsibilities of being a surrogate parent can be demanding, especially for older adults who may be managing their age-related issues. Still, their active involvement in family life can be invaluable for child development. Grandparents may pass on generational traditions and values within the family unit.

How grandparents play a role in family mental health

Grandparents can be a support system within families. These individuals can provide emotional support and promote the emotional well-being of their children and grandchildren.

The effects of absent grandparents

When grandparents are not present, families may experience increased psychological distress. Grandparents often offer valuable support for adult children living with mental health problems, buffering stress and providing practical help. Their absence can lead to higher stress levels and decreased life satisfaction for children and grandchildren.

The role of grandparents in family mental health

Grandparents continue to play an essential role during early childhood, middle childhood and adolescence. These family members may buffer against psychological distress by providing stability, guidance, and mentoring. Their absence during these periods might be related to an increased risk of mental health problems among grandchildren, as they miss out on the support and wisdom grandparents can provide.

However, studies suggest that children cared for by grandparents have varying outcomes, regardless of child gender, age, or background. There's evidence from research indicating mixed results on children’s mental health outcomes. Some children benefit from grandparental care, while others show increased mental health challenges, potentially due to the cause of the surrogate care from grandparents. If a parent is absent or a child has been adopted, they may experience trauma due to these experiences. 

Challenges grandparents might face

Grandparents stepping into significant family roles can experience various challenges. Balancing their own needs with caregiving responsibilities can strain their mental health, especially if they're full-time caregivers for their grandchildren. This role's financial, emotional, and physical demands may come up unexpectedly in their later years. 

Age-related and mental health problems like depression

Grandparents may be living with their own age-related health problems. Conditions like arthritis, diabetes, or heart problems may complicate their role, affecting their overall well-being. Grandparents may also experience isolation and loneliness, especially if they lack a supportive network. The lack of social connections for grandparents may lead to them experiencing feelings of anger, hurt, and even depression.

In some cases, grandparents may struggle with intergenerational mental health problems. They may experience a responsibility to address signs of mental health problems in their grandchildren while being mindful of familial patterns. They can potentially break the cycle of mental health problems across generations, but they may benefit from balancing offering support while respecting the autonomy of their children.

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Strategies for grandparents to support mental health

Grandparents may support better mental health in their family in various ways. Consider exploring the below strategies for grandparents to promote and support mental health within the family. 

Listen and validate loved ones 

Being present and actively listening to children's or grandchildren's concerns may ensure they know they are heard and understood. To actively listen, avoid interrupting and show genuine interest in what is expressed. Nodding, making eye contact, and responding thoughtfully may build trust and comfort between family members. 

Offer emotional support

Grandchildren often benefit from a supportive grandparent who can empathize with their struggles. Grandparents who lend an ear and offer words of comfort during tough times may be a reliable source of solace, potentially easing stress and anxiety.

Encourage positive habits for grandparents and grandchildren

Grandparents may have the opportunity to influence their grandchildren's daily habits. Encouraging physical activities, nutritious eating, and adequate rest can contribute to a positive lifestyle, often closely tied to mental health. Grandparents can lead by example, inviting their grandchildren to join them for a walk or preparing nutritious meals together. 

Provide stability and routine

According to previous research, creating a sense of stability and routine in their children’s or grandchildren’s lives may reduce anxiety and promote overall well-being. Grandparents can offer support by ensuring a predictable routine, which may include regular mealtimes, homework sessions, and leisure activities. This predictability may be calming for children or grandchildren during times of stress or change.

Encourage communication with their children or grandchildren

Encouraging open and honest communication about emotions may help prevent and manage mental health challenges. Grandparents can start conversations by discussing their experiences and inviting others to discuss theirs. Grandparents can encourage their grandchildren to express themselves freely, potentially leading to early detection and intervention for mental health conditions and other challenges. 

Be patient 

Children and young adults often benefit from time to understand their emotions and thoughts. Grandparents can acknowledge the struggles their loved ones face without rushing to fix them. Those who show patience and withhold judgment during this process may see stronger trust and a deeper connection developed within their family relationships.

These strategies may be helpful in supporting the mental health of a family for some grandparents. However, everyone is different, and some strategies may be more useful for certain people than others. 

Find support for mental health challenges in families

For families seeking support in managing mental health challenges, various resources are available. One potentially helpful method is family therapy, which may improve family dynamics, including those involving grandparents. Family therapy may help individuals manage communication problems and resolve conflicts.

Family therapy focuses on strengthening family relationships and may help family members identify mental health challenges they are experiencing. With help from a mental health professional, family members may learn how to interact and constructively discuss conflict effectively.  

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Family challenges can lead to increased stress

Individual support options

Individual therapy may also be beneficial for grandparents or those living with a grandparent. With an individual therapist, clients can learn healthy communication skills and understand how their family dynamic may be impacting them. If you want to reach out to a therapist but struggle with barriers to therapy in your area, you can also consider online therapy through a platform like BetterHelp

Online platforms often provide a wide range of therapist profiles, allowing individuals to choose someone who fits their needs and preferences. The convenience of online scheduling, messaging, and video sessions may help make online mental health support more available than in-person support.

Studies have found that internet interventions are often as effective as traditional in-person therapy. This treatment provides flexibility and convenience, allowing clients to receive professional help from home. This convenience may be particularly beneficial for individuals with busy schedules.

Takeaway

Grandparents can promote family mental health. When involved in caregiving, they may improve children's emotional well-being by providing additional love, stability, and support. Studies have shown that children with active grandparents often experience fewer mental health problems, such as lower levels of depression and anxiety. 

However, the role of a grandparent can come with challenges. Some grandparents may experience increased stress and health decline due to caregiving responsibilities. Overall, grandparent involvement in caregiving can provide emotional and mental health benefits for children and grandparents, provided balance and support are available for the latter. If you’re struggling with family dynamics, reaching out to a therapist online or in your area for professional guidance may be helpful.

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