Overcoming The Challenges Of Navigating Family Holidays With Mental Illness

There may be many reasons for this holiday stress, including shorter periods of daylight, physical illness, and the pressures of gift-giving. For some, getting together with family for the holidays may be a source of comfort and support; for others, it can be a source of anxiety that can worsen mental health symptoms. 

Below are some strategies for navigating family holidays with mental illness, as well as some ways to approach the holidays if someone else in your family has a mental disorder. 

Mental illness can affect families in many ways

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Strategies for navigating family holidays if you have a mental health condition

If you have a mental health condition, navigating family dynamics can be challenging for many reasons. Some people may be prone to sensory overload and find it difficult to be in a small space with a lot of people or cope with the constant noise and chatter of large family gatherings. Others may have families who are not supportive of their lifestyle or do not understand their mental health challenges. 

In any case, taking some time to care for your mental health before the event may help you prepare. Below are some strategies you can try in the days leading up to your family gathering:

• Accept your emotions. It may seem like there is a lot of pressure to be happy around the holidays, so it can help to remind yourself that it is okay to feel however you’re feeling. Whether you’re sad, anxious, angry, or indifferent, recognizing how you feel can be an important step in managing your emotions.
• Practice self-care. Before getting together with family, it may help to maintain healthy habits, like eating a nutritious diet, exercising, and prioritizing sleep, which may help to maintain your physical health. 
• Schedule time to recharge. Whether you enjoy reading a book, doing yoga, or spending time outdoors, making time to do the things you enjoy can help your mental health. Working on stress management skills, like meditation or deep breathing exercises, may also help you prepare for any stressful moments that arise during family holidays.
• Connect with your support system. If your family does not provide the support you need, it may help to schedule time with those who do. Reaching out to a supportive group of friends or attending a support group at a local community center may help you feel less alone and more understood.

When it’s time for the family gathering, there are things you can do to try to make the experience less stressful. Depending on the relationship you have with your family members, it may help to talk to them, explaining your mental health condition and telling them how they can help. Some people may feel unsure of what to say to someone with a mental illness or how to act around them, so clearly communicating your needs may help them better understand how they can be supportive. 

It may also help to encourage them to ask questions. Being honest with them may help dispel any misconceptions and make them feel more comfortable, which can make them more willing to be supportive. Acceptance may not happen quickly. You may need to have multiple conversations with them, but communicating how you feel can help you come to a mutual understanding. Ultimately, your family may just want what’s best for you but be unsure how to provide it.

If you have attempted to have conversations with your family before and were unsuccessful, or if you feel that people in your family members are not being supportive, it may help to establish boundaries. You might consider forming a plan in case you start to feel uncomfortable and need a mental health break. For example, if an argument arises and you experience anxiety, it’s okay to say that you’re not feeling well and need to leave.

It may also be important to remember that if your family has a history of being unsupportive, it is okay to skip family functions if that is what is best for your mental health.

How to support someone in your family with a mental illness

When someone in your family is diagnosed with a mental illness, it can stir up a variety of emotions that are difficult to cope with. Many people may feel hurt, ashamed, or embarrassed when a family member behaves in a way that is difficult to understand, and the pressure of attending a family get-together during the holiday season can make that stress even worse. If someone in your family is living with a mental illness, the following strategies may help you support your family member while also maintaining your own mental health:

• Remind yourself that you are not going to be able to fix their condition, but you can give them the support and love they need to navigate treatment.
• Educate yourself about your family member’s mental illness to get an idea of what they’re going through. You don’t need to be an expert, but by reading about their condition from reliable sources, you may gain a better understanding of their behaviors and the many ways in which their condition affects them. 
• Accept your own feelings. People who have a family member with a mental illness can go through a lot of emotions. You may experience periods of denial or worry about other people's thoughts and opinions about your family. Some people might blame themselves. These feelings are not abnormal, and recognizing them may help you process and move past them. 
• Be open-minded and supportive when your family member exhibits unusual behavior. Some mental illnesses have outward signs that can be distressing, antisocial, or disruptive. It may help to remind yourself that these behaviors may be just as distressing to your family member, if not more so. You might try to listen to them as they open up about their feelings so that you can offer meaningful support. 

During family holidays, what you don’t do can be just as important as what you do when offering support to a family member with a mental illness. Here are some :

• Don’t suggest they just need a more positive frame of mind. 
• Don’t tell them to stop focusing on the negative. 
• Don’t say, “Everyone feels like this sometimes.”
• Don’t compare them to someone else with a mental illness. 
• Don’t blame them for their illness. 
• Don’t tell them to pray about it.
• Don’t raise your voice.
• Don’t feel like you have to talk constantly.
• Don’t show them any hostility. 
• Don’t assume anything about their life. 
• Don’t try to make jokes about their condition. 
• Don’t be condescending. 

You don’t have to navigate mental illness alone

Mental illness can be difficult for families to navigate. If you experience mental health challenges, therapy can be an effective way to help you learn to manage symptoms and navigate the extra challenges that may be placed on you by the people in your life. If someone in your family has been diagnosed with a mental illness, talking to a therapist can help you understand how their mental health challenges can impact your life, learn how to manage any complex emotions you may have, and develop healthy ways to care for yourself and support your loved one. 

If you are interested in talking to a therapist, consider online treatment. With an online therapy platform, you can work with a licensed mental health professional from the comfort of your home at a time that suits your schedule, whether during the busy holiday season or any other time. 

Numerous studies have shown that online therapy is effective. A 2021 study found that virtual therapy is "no less efficacious" than in-person treatment and called it “a popular and convenient choice but also one that is now upheld by meta-analytic evidence.”