Strategies For Coping With Family Trauma
Trauma refers to a type of distressing or disturbing experience that leaves a lasting impact on a person’s psyche and can affect their overall well-being. Family trauma is when such an experience relates to and/or was experienced with a person’s relatives, whether it’s losing a family member or collectively experiencing a traumatic event like violence, a car accident, or a natural disaster. When such an event happens to a family, it can impact the mental health of all members as well as their relationships, communication, and overall family functioning.
Below, we’ll talk about what family trauma can include, highlight some key signs and symptoms of trauma, and offer some healthy coping strategies. When a family is affected by a crisis, each member may respond in a different way, so it can be important to understand different distress reactions and seek professional help.
Recognizing family trauma
Trauma refers to a lasting emotional response that’s the result of a distressing and/or life-threatening event, and it can have continuing effects on an individual's mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Family trauma in particular may involve an individual’s family, such as in the case of a family car accident, or be caused by family, such as in the case of parental abuse. A few other examples of family trauma may include the sudden illness of a loved one, witnessing a violent incident, experiencing a natural disaster, or even facing poverty or other financial hardship. Note that trauma can be caused by a wide variety of situations, and what one person experiences as trauma may not affect another individual in the same way.
If you or a loved one is experiencing abuse, contact the Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Support is available 24/7.
Effects of experiencing a traumatic event
The intense feelings induced by trauma can disrupt everyday behavioral patterns and emotional responses. After a traumatic experience, an individual may feel a lack of safety, have trouble regulating emotions, and find it difficult to maintain healthy relationships. It’s also possible for trauma-related disorders like post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) to develop as a result.
Different responses to trauma
Note that a group of people who experience the same traumatic event may all respond differently depending on their age, mental health, societal and cultural factors, and other elements. For example, children may have trouble at school or ‘act out,’ while adults may struggle with work, parenting, or maintaining relationships. Some men may feel pressured to hold in their emotions even if they’re struggling, and people in general may be expected to respond in different ways that may or may not feel authentic to them according to cultural norms.
How trauma affects relationships
As well as impacting each individual, family trauma may disrupt relationship and/or household dynamics. Communication may break down, and symptoms of various trauma responses or disorders could cause friction or tension—especially if they’re not understood or appropriately addressed. Household responsibilities may also change. For example, it’s not uncommon for children to cook if the adults in their lives become unable to perform such everyday tasks.
Coping strategies for after a traumatic event
If you’ve experienced a traumatic event, it’s typically best to process your feelings with a trauma-informed therapist. They can help you identify any unhealthy coping tendencies and cultivate positive habits for managing symptoms and working toward healing. In addition, it can be helpful to:
Connect with family members
Again, people may respond to trauma in different ways. If possible, however, it can be helpful to connect with fellow survivors in your family after experiencing trauma together and keep the lines of communication open. You may be able to offer each other comfort and support, strengthen or rebuild your bonds, and encourage each other to seek professional help as needed.
Spend time with friends
Seeking support from compassionate friends and community members can be highly valuable during distressing times. These connections may offer emotional support, practical support like meals or childcare, or even a welcome distraction. Research also suggests that social support may help increase stress resilience.
Exercise
Engaging in enjoyable forms of physical activity can be a powerful way to support yourself after a traumatic event. Research suggests that exercise may increase mental resilience and subjective well-being after a traumatic event, potentially reducing negative symptoms associated with the experience.
Establish a routine after experiencing a traumatic event
Establishing a consistent routine can also be helpful after a traumatic event, since it can give you a sense of stability and control. A routine may help you develop a sense of normalcy and balance in everyday life, and it can also act as a stable platform to work towards your mental health goals.
Avoid self-medicating as a way of coping with family trauma
Research suggests that people who have been diagnosed with PTSD are more inclined to drink alcohol to cope with symptoms. While it may feel better in the moment, self-medicating with alcohol or drugs can actually exacerbate PTSD symptoms like feeling isolated, depressed, angry, or jittery. Whether you have PTSD or not, self-medication can also lead to long-term health problems and, in some cases, a substance use disorder.
If you are struggling with substance use, contact the SAMHSA National Helpline at (800) 662-4357 to receive support and resources. Support is available 24/7.
Recognizing when it may be time to seek support from a mental health professional
If you’ve experienced trauma of any kind, you can seek professional support—even if others in your family weren't traumatized by the event or are experiencing more severe effects, or even if the event took place years ago. It can be especially important to reach out for support if you start to notice symptoms of anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, or another mental health condition that can develop as a result of trauma. For example, if you experience symptoms like these, it’s usually best to seek help:
A mental health professional can help with symptoms of depression or post-traumatic stress disorder
- Irritability
- Social withdrawal
- Persistent thoughts of guilt, hopelessness, or uselessness
- Persistent low mood
- Intrusive thoughts, memories, or nightmares of the traumatic event
- An increase in substance use and/or risky, impulsive behaviors
- Trouble sleeping
- Angry outbursts
- A loss of interest in activities you used to enjoy
- Trouble concentrating
- Thoughts of self-harm or harm to others
If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts or urges, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or text 988 to talk to someone over SMS. Support is available 24/7.
Getting professional support for coping with family trauma
There are a variety of in-person and online resources available to support you and your family in recovering from trauma, from social workers and support groups to mediators and therapists. Reaching out for support from a licensed mental health professional of some kind can be particularly important. They can help you process what you’ve been through, address any troubling symptoms, and find healthy ways to cope and move forward.
Benefits of online therapy for trauma or post-traumatic stress disorder
If you’re looking for individual support from a therapist in processing family trauma, you can typically choose between online and in-person care. If you’re nervous about speaking with a provider face to face or don’t have time to commute to and from in-person appointments, you might explore online therapy.
With a platform like BetterHelp, you can meet with a licensed, trauma-informed therapist from the comfort of home or anywhere you have an internet connection. You can join sessions via video call, phone, or in-app messaging—whichever makes you feel more comfortable. Research suggests that online therapy can be an effective method of treatment for PTSD and other potential effects of trauma.
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