Tips For Supporting A Family Member With Depression
When a family member lives with depression, it can be challenging to know the best way to support them. While you may not be able to “fix” your family member’s mental health adversities, there are various ways to help them through difficult times, such as educating yourself on depression, staying alert for warning signs of worsening symptoms, having open discussions with them, and offering support and validation. It may be beneficial to encourage them to seek professional help. In addition, you may find it helpful to work with a therapist if supporting your family member has impacted your well-being. A convenient way to seek guidance from a licensed mental health professional may be to join an online therapy platform.
Learn the symptoms of depression
It can be helpful to gain a fuller understanding of your family member’s mental health disorder. Depression symptoms can vary from person to person, but some common symptoms may include the following:
- Feeling sad, empty, or hopeless
- Having angry outbursts
- Feeling frustrated or irritable
- Losing interest in pleasurable activities
- Sleeping too much or too little
- Lacking energy
- Experiencing changes in appetite or weight fluctuations
- Experiencing physical symptoms, like headaches or back pain, without an identifiable cause
- Experiencing restlessness, anxiety, or nervousness
- Having slowed speech or thinking
- Experiencing a sense of worthlessness or guilt
- Focusing on past failures
- Having trouble thinking, making decisions, remembering, or concentrating
- Having suicidal thoughts or suicide attempts
Look for warning signs of worsening depression
To determine whether someone's depression is worsening, you might look for changes in their behavior. Someone with depression may have more severe symptoms during particularly stressful life events, like divorce, grief, illness, or financial issues. You may notice intensifying symptoms like mood changes, sleep disruptions, and social withdrawal. People with worsening depression may ruminate, become less active, and isolate themselves from loved ones.
Stay alert for warning signs of suicide
Learn about the warning signs of suicide so you can react if your family member needs help. Some warning signs of suicide include those listed below:
- Talking about suicide
- Obtaining the means to attempt suicide, like stockpiling pills or buying a gun
- Withdrawing from social contact
- Having mood swings from extreme highs to lows
- Obsessing over violence or death
- Experiencing a sense of hopelessness or being trapped
- Increasing the use of substances or alcohol
- Changing normal routines
- Engaging in risky activities, like reckless driving, excessive spending, or substance misuse
- Giving away belongings
- Saying goodbye to people
- Displaying personality changes
If you are worried that your family member may be experiencing suicidal ideation, it can be best to seek help right away. You might contact their mental health provider and let other family members know about the situation. You can also call a suicide prevention hotline for information about resources in your area or encourage your loved one to call a crisis lifeline and stay with them while they do. Ensure their safety, removing anything they could use to hurt themselves or attempt suicide from the area, including medications, knives, and firearms. If anyone is in immediate danger, call 988/911 right away.
Talk to them openly about depression
Some people may find it difficult to talk about depression, but talking about it openly and honestly may help your family member.
To do so, try using “I” statements. Instead of saying, “You’re making me worry,” say, “I’m worried about you,” or “I’m concerned about you.” Speaking in this way can help you take ownership of your emotions and communicate your feelings without pointing fingers or blaming your loved one.
When talking to someone about their depression, keep the following tips in mind:
- Be respectful.
- Pay attention and listen closely.
- Use open body language.
- Don’t try to talk them out of how they feel. For example, if they tell you they feel guilty, don’t tell them they shouldn’t feel that way.
- Avoid giving advice, even if it's well-meaning.
- Accept what they tell you they need.
- Stay calm and open, even if challenging emotions begin to arise.
Provide encouragement and validation
Give your loved one validation and encouragement. People with depression often experience negative thought patterns, and it can be tempting to say things like, “Just cheer up!” or “It can’t be that bad!” These statements are unlikely to have a positive effect. Instead, you can provide your family member with validation and encouragement. For example, you could say, “It must be so hard to feel that way. I love you, and I’m here to help.”
Encourage them to get help
People who are experiencing depression may not realize that they can get help. Depression can lead people to believe that things aren’t going to get any better, so they may not consider seeking treatment.
Some people with depression may be hesitant to talk to a mental health professional. In this case, encourage them to make an appointment with their primary care provider (PCP) to discuss their symptoms. They may be more willing to talk to someone with whom they already have a trusting professional relationship, and their PCP can usually perform the necessary testing to rule out any physical ailments that could be contributing to their symptoms.
You might offer to help them schedule appointments, make lists of symptoms or questions to ask their PCP, go to the appointment with them for moral support, or attend family therapy sessions with them.
Take care of yourself
While supporting a family member experiencing depression can be a very compassionate and selfless thing to do, it may take a toll on your own well-being at times. Major depression usually involves ongoing negativity and pessimism, and the healing process often takes time. Even if your loved one decides to get help, it may take weeks or months to see a notable improvement. It can be important to take care of yourself just as you’re caring for your loved one. Engage in self-care, practice gratitude, attend support groups, and make time for fun.
If you are overwhelmed or need help prioritizing your needs, working with an online therapist can be beneficial. When you sign up for therapy through an online platform like BetterHelp, you can attend sessions with a mental health professional from the comfort of your home at a time that works for your schedule.
In addition to being flexible and convenient, research has found online treatment to be effective, and it can be a valid option for people experiencing symptoms of depression. A 2018 review of 14 studies found that online cognitive behavioral therapy typically led to a 50% improvement in symptoms of multiple mental health disorders, including anxiety and major depressive disorder. In addition, the study showed that online treatment usually significantly reduced the impact of stress and fatigue, both of which may be concerns for individuals supporting family members with mental illness.
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