Tips For Supporting A Family Member With Depression
- For those experiencing suicidal thoughts, please contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988
- For those experiencing abuse, please contact the Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
- For those experiencing substance use, please contact SAMHSA National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357
When a family member lives with depression, it can be challenging to know the best way to support them. While you may not be able to “fix” your family member’s mental health adversities, there are various ways to help them through difficult times, such as educating yourself on depression, staying alert for warning signs of worsening symptoms, having open discussions with them, and offering support and validation. It may be beneficial to encourage them to seek professional help. In addition, you may find it helpful to work with a therapist if supporting your family member has impacted your well-being. A convenient way to seek guidance from a licensed mental health professional may be to join an online therapy platform.
Learn the symptoms of depression
It can be helpful to gain a fuller understanding of your family member’s mental health disorder. Depression symptoms can vary from person to person, but some common symptoms may include the following:
- Feeling sad, empty, or hopeless
- Having angry outbursts
- Feeling frustrated or irritable
- Losing interest in pleasurable activities
- Sleeping too much or too little
- Lacking energy
- Experiencing changes in appetite or weight fluctuations
- Experiencing physical symptoms, like headaches or back pain, without an identifiable cause
- Experiencing restlessness, anxiety, or nervousness
- Having slowed speech or thinking
- Experiencing a sense of worthlessness or guilt
- Focusing on past failures
- Having trouble thinking, making decisions, remembering, or concentrating
- Having suicidal thoughts or suicide attempts
If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts or urges, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988. Support is available 24/7.
Look for warning signs of worsening depression
To determine whether someone's depression is worsening, you might look for changes in their behavior. Someone with depression may have more severe symptoms during particularly stressful life events, like divorce, grief, illness, or financial issues. You may notice intensifying symptoms like mood changes, sleep disruptions, and social withdrawal. People with worsening depression may ruminate, become less active, and isolate themselves from loved ones.
Stay alert for warning signs of suicide
Learn about the warning signs of suicide so you can react if your family member needs help. Some warning signs of suicide include those listed below:
- Talking about suicide
- Obtaining the means to attempt suicide, like stockpiling pills or buying a gun
- Withdrawing from social contact
- Having mood swings from extreme highs to lows
- Obsessing over violence or death
- Experiencing a sense of hopelessness or being trapped
- Increasing the use of substances or alcohol
- Changing normal routines
- Engaging in risky activities, like reckless driving, excessive spending, or substance misuse
- Giving away belongings
- Saying goodbye to people
- Displaying personality changes
What to do if your loved one shows signs of suicidal ideation
If you are worried that your family member may be experiencing suicidal ideation, it can be best to seek help right away. You might contact their mental health provider and let other family members know about the situation. You can also call a suicide prevention hotline for information about resources in your area or encourage your loved one to call a crisis lifeline and stay with them while they do. Ensure their safety, removing anything they could use to hurt themselves or attempt suicide from the area, including medications, knives, and firearms. If anyone is in immediate danger, call 988/911 right away.
Talk to them openly about depression
Some people may find it difficult to talk about depression, but talking about it openly and honestly may help your family member.
How to start the conversation about depression or bipolar disorder
To do so, try using “I” statements. Instead of saying, “You’re making me worry,” say, “I’m worried about you,” or “I’m concerned about you.” Speaking in this way can help you take ownership of your emotions and communicate your feelings without pointing fingers or blaming your loved one.
Conversation strategies for supporting a family member with depression
When talking to someone about their depression, keep the following tips in mind:
- Be respectful.
- Pay attention and listen closely.
- Use open body language.
- Don’t try to talk them out of how they feel. For example, if they tell you they feel guilty, don’t tell them they shouldn’t feel that way.
- Avoid giving advice, even if it's well-meaning.
- Accept what they tell you they need.
- Stay calm and open, even if challenging emotions begin to arise.
Provide encouragement and validation
Give your loved one validation and encouragement. People with depression often experience negative thought patterns, and it can be tempting to say things like, “Just cheer up!” or “It can’t be that bad!” These statements are unlikely to have a positive effect. Instead, you can provide your family member with validation and encouragement. For example, you could say, “It must be so hard to feel that way. I love you, and I’m here to help.”
Encourage your depressed loved one to get mental health treatment
People who are experiencing depression may not realize that they can get help. Depression can lead people to believe that things aren’t going to get any better, so they may not consider seeking treatment.
Encourage them to seek treatment from a therapist
Encourage them to see their primary care provider for symptoms
Some people with depression may be hesitant to talk to a mental health professional. In this case, encourage them to make an appointment with their primary care provider (PCP) to discuss their symptoms. They may be more willing to talk to someone with whom they already have a trusting professional relationship, and their PCP can usually perform the necessary testing to rule out any physical ailments that could be contributing to their symptoms.
Help them prepare for their appointment
You might offer to help them schedule appointments, make lists of symptoms or questions to ask their PCP, go to the appointment with them for moral support, or attend family therapy sessions with them.
Take care of yourself while supporting a family member with depression or bipolar disorder
While supporting a family member experiencing depression can be a very compassionate and selfless thing to do, it may take a toll on your own well-being at times. Major depression usually involves ongoing negativity and pessimism, and the healing process often takes time. Even if your loved one decides to get help, it may take weeks or months to see a notable improvement. It can be important to take care of yourself just as you’re caring for your loved one. Engage in self-care, practice gratitude, attend support groups, and make time for fun.
Benefits of online therapy for individuals caring for a depressed loved one
If you are overwhelmed or need help prioritizing your needs, working with an online therapist can be beneficial. When you sign up for therapy through an online platform like BetterHelp, you can attend sessions with a mental health professional from the comfort of your home at a time that works for your schedule.
Effectiveness of online therapy for depression and other mental health conditions
In addition to being flexible and convenient, research has found online treatment to be effective, and it can be a valid option for people experiencing symptoms of depression. A 2018 review of 14 studies found that online cognitive behavioral therapy typically led to a 50% improvement in symptoms of multiple mental health disorders, including anxiety and major depressive disorder. In addition, the study showed that online treatment usually significantly reduced the impact of stress and fatigue, both of which may be concerns for individuals supporting family members with mental illness.
Takeaway
How can we help individuals who are suffering from depression?
Clinical depression is a serious mental health condition that can significantly impact a person’s life. One way to help support someone living with depression is to ask whether they want to talk about their disorder—and listen carefully if they decide to share their experience. You may be able to better support this individual when you understand the different ways depression affects them. Providing a safe space to discuss their emotions can also help a person with depression feel heard and understood.
What to say to someone who's depressed?
If a loved one is living with depression, positive reinforcement can help them address low self-esteem, loneliness, and related challenges. Often, depression worsens when an individual experiences recurring negative thoughts, which may lead to a downward spiral of challenging feelings and beliefs. While you want to validate their feelings, providing them with reassurance and encouragement can be helpful. Try to remind your loved one of their positive qualities and value as a person, and let them know how much you appreciate your relationship with them.
How do you comfort someone who is struggling mentally?
Social support can be vital to an individual’s ability to work through mental health challenges. Someone experiencing an emotional crisis may benefit from knowing that they have friends and family members who are there for them. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, verbally expressing support can reduce the stress associated with a loved one’s depression, anxiety, or other condition. Consider telling your loved one that you are available to provide support in whatever way they need.
What message can you send to someone who is depressed?
A helpful message to send to someone with depression may involve offers of tangible support. A person’s depression can impact their ability to complete certain tasks, such as household chores. Ask this individual whether there are specific tasks that they would like help with. You can also offer to provide them with information on useful mental health resources.
What is a word of encouragement for a depressed person?
For individuals living with depression, it can be encouraging to hear that their mental illness is not their fault. Many people with depression believe that they developed their symptoms due to a personal flaw. However, anyone can experience depression; and reminding your loved one that they’re not to blame can be helpful.
How to support someone with anxiety and depression?
According to the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance, one way you can support someone with mental health challenges is to encourage treatment. You may suggest seeking care from a mental health professional or discuss your personal experience with psychological treatment, if applicable. You can also outline strategies for managing symptoms of common mental disorders. For example, per the American Psychiatric Association, physical activity is a common coping strategy for anxiety and depression.
How to encourage someone who is feeling down?
A helpful way of motivating someone who is feeling low is to offer to participate in a hobby or other activity that they enjoy. Often, people who are experiencing a depressed mood struggle to pursue their interests. Helping someone participate in a fulfilling and enjoyable activity may lift their spirits and provide them with motivation.
What are some short uplifting quotes for depression?
Understanding depression often involves exploring the ways other people have addressed and overcome depressive disorders. One way of doing that is by reading inspirational quotes about depression, such as the following:
“There is hope, even when your brain tells you otherwise.” –John Green
“Out of difficulties grow miracles.” –Jean de La Bruyère
“You are not your depression. You are a person who has depression.” –Stephen Fry
What is the hardest mental illness to live with?
All forms of mental illness can lead to serious challenges in an individual’s life. Many mental health concerns can increase a person’s suicide risk. People with mental health conditions also have an increased risk of developing other types of mental illness. Mental disorders are also associated with functional impairment, sleep disruptions, weight loss or gain, and several other potential negative effects.
The severity of a condition can depend on several factors, and it is hard to compare the difficulty of living with different disorders, especially because people react to symptoms differently. For example, one person who is severely depressed may still be able to function, while someone who experiences mild depression may experience significant impairment.
How to support a loved one with mental illness?
One way of supporting someone with a mental health condition is by connecting them with useful resources. For example, a person living with substance use disorder or a related condition may benefit from contacting SAMHSA’s National Helpline. The National Council for Suicide Prevention has a list of resources available to people with various mental health challenges.
You may also offer to help a loved one complete daily tasks. Even normal activities like running errands can be difficult for people with a mental illness. Ask whether they’d like to suggest specific tasks that you can help complete. For example, they may want you to help organize household chores for them or prepare meals that they can heat up.
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