Exploring How To Maintain A Long-Distance Friendship

When moving, leaving close friends behind may be painful and challenging, whether you’re a child or an adult. Some people may promise to maintain long-distance friendships but ultimately find that the connection fades. 

If you want to keep your long-distance friendships alive and thriving when separated by physical distance, keeping a few tips in mind may be helpful. You might also consider how therapy can teach communication and emotional comprehension skills to help you understand and connect with your friend, no matter how far apart you are on the map. 

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What is a long-distance friendship?

Long-distance friendship occurs when circumstances force you to live apart from your close friends. You may move away from them, meet someone online, or meet someone out and about (such as on a cruise or vacation) from a different area. Whether you’re in the next town or a world away, being physically separated from your friends can make staying connected and maintaining friendships challenging.  

Practical tips to maintain long-distance friendships

Studies show that maintaining a friendship often requires equal effort from both parties and flexibility, care, and understanding. Any relationship can take work, and friendships are no exception. Long-distance connections may require more support and care. However, if both individuals find the friendship worth the extra effort and are willing to do what it takes to stay connected and stay friends, staying in touch and maintaining a close bond may be possible. Below are a few tips to help your long-distance friendship thrive.

Make your intentions clear and put in effort

Ensuring your friend knows your intention to maintain the friendship may help you see if you’re on the same page. It may be vital for your friend to be willing to reciprocate your efforts to keep the connection strong. Additionally, this clarification can save you disappointment should your friend have different ideas about what your friendship might look like. Once the separation begins, you can each put in the effort to make the friendship a priority. 

Check in on each other

It may help to set a time to call each other and catch up, such as every week or every other week. If you’re going about your day and an event, item, song, or idea makes you think of your friend, take the time to message them and tell them they were on your mind. Despite the distance, random messages may show them they are a valued, important part of your life. In some cases, sharing the little details of your lives may help you feel closer to one another. 

Understand that life gets busy

Life can get chaotic and busy, particularly while going through transitional phases. If your own life is already busy and you’re experiencing difficulty keeping up with everything, try to understand that your friend may be in a similar situation. Applying grace and understanding to your long-distance friends when they aren’t as available as they used to be can take the pressure off while keeping the lines of connection open. For example, they may have a new job, new social circle, or school to focus on. Some of the best friendships can be those you can pick up on as if no time has passed. 

Embrace the power of social media

While social media can be a poor substitute for face-to-face connection, it can also be an effective way to take advantage of fast, easy communication methods. Commenting on your friend's photos and posts can show them you're actively involved in their life and vice versa. 

Keeping up to date on your friend’s life via social media may ensure you have topics to discuss the next time you catch up. Even if you don’t make it to every topic, social media can let you know the ins and outs of your friend’s life in certain areas.  

Commit to in-person meetings when possible

In-person meetings can be challenging to accomplish when great distances or financial concerns separate you, or obligations prevent either of you from traveling. Commit to in-person meetings when you can. If you live a significant distance away, you can alternate who makes the trip. Finding opportunities to see one another in person may give the friendship the spark to stay alive. 

Fun ideas to stay connected

One reason people become friends is because they enjoy spending time together. While it may be more difficult to enjoy one another’s company when you live far apart, there are creative ways you can have fun with your friend despite the distance. Consider trying one or more of the following activities. 

Take “show and tell” to the next level

Kids aren’t the only ones who like to show off interesting items to their friends. If you see an item that instantly brings your friend to mind or would make a hilarious long-term joke, consider taking “show-and-tell” to the next level by sending it to them with instructions that they are to take it along on an adventure and return it with an interesting picture. From a rubber chicken to a replica Oscars award, the possibilities for fun, humorous, and good-natured one-upmanship may keep you and your friend entertained, even when you’re far apart. 

Start a friendship journal 

Hold a virtual potluck or tasting

If you and your friend both enjoy cooking or are looking for a fun new activity together, try preparing the same recipe and enjoying it together virtually, or consider chatting on a video call while you both work through the instructions on a cooking show. You can take turns hosting and planning the meal or holding a virtual bake-off with family members serving as the judge. Finding ways to make this activity fun and engaging can be part of the challenge. 

Create a shared playlist of favorite songs

Music streaming services often offer methods to connect with friends worldwide through shared playlists. By creating a playlist together, you can let your friend listen to the songs that make up the soundtrack of your life in each moment. You may also find some new favorite music if they introduce you to a song you haven’t heard before. 

Start a digital book club 

Do you and your friend both like to read? If so, try reading the same book and discussing it in detail with your friend as you go along. You may be able to find pre-made book club questions online that let you dive deeper into the story, but you can also craft your own. Exploring how the same book affected both of you and how you each interpreted its different parts may strengthen your connection and allow you to learn more about one another. 

Game together

While spending time together face-to-face may be crucial to some friendships, the online community shows that versatile, meaningful connections can thrive virtually. Studies show gamers routinely report significantly higher quality online friendships than offline bonds. Non-gamers experienced the opposite results, so if you fall into the latter category, consider exploring how online gaming with your long-distance friend may help you stay connected. 

Acceptance of growth and change 

Research has shown that friendships can change depending on the life phase you’re in and aren’t necessarily meant to last a lifetime. In some cases, a friend may match your needs for a certain point in your life, but you may later discover that you’re not growing together, and the friendship no longer meets your needs. In these cases, it’s up to each individual to decide whether they want the friendship to last. 

Some friends are committed to making their relationship last despite the ups and downs, while others may not find it worth it to put in the extra effort. Keeping the lines of communication open with your friend and accepting that life is full of changes may allow the friendship to continue to develop despite disagreements and challenges. 

Support options 

Maintaining a long-distance friendship can be difficult. Whether you’re moving somewhere new, have connected with someone who lives far away, or are joining the online gaming community and making friends, working with a therapist may help you create and maintain long-distance friendships. In addition to making friendships online, you can connect with a licensed therapist through a virtual platform like BetterHelp. 

You can set up sessions via phone calls, in-app messaging, or video conferencing through an online platform. In therapy, you can learn effective communication and conflict-resolution skills to help you maintain long-distance friendships, showing your friends you value and appreciate them in your life, regardless of their location. In addition, an online platform can allow you to access group sessions and a group chat where you can meet people worldwide. 

Versatile methods of mental healthcare treatments have been of increasing public interest for years. According to the American Psychological Association, online and in-person psychotherapy offer comparable results. Online therapy clients often report lower costs, no waiting rooms, and a more comprehensive selection of licensed providers.