If you’re experiencing social anxiety or having trouble with boundaries in friendships, you may benefit from speaking with a therapist. If you don’t feel comfortable with traditional in-person therapy, you might consider online therapy. The wide range of available therapists in online therapy may make it easier to find a good match. Additionally, the option to have sessions via text or chat can be less intimidating for those who find in-person interactions stressful, allowing for a gradual approach to more direct forms of communication.
Research shows that online therapy can be effective for a number of mental health conditions, including social anxiety. In one study, participants in online therapy demonstrated significant reductions in social anxiety symptoms. Additionally, the gains made in internet therapy were maintained at three-month follow-up assessments, which suggests the benefits may persist over time.
One way to interpret the concept of the five levels of friendship is the way that platonic connections can evolve as people spend more time together. According to one study, the five levels of friendship through this lens are: stranger, acquaintance, casual friend, friend, and best friend. Moving through these levels usually requires a combination of many factors, including significant time spent together, shared interests or common interests, and cultivation of a shared, safe space to be vulnerable.
The highest level of friendship is usually referred to as “best friends.” Some people may prefer the term “soulmates” or “platonic soulmates.”
For someone with social anxiety, finding friends who support you and can help you feel more at ease are often considered the closest, most valuable, or highest “rank.” Acquaintances around whom you feel more anxious are often considered a lower “rank,” as being with them may exacerbate symptoms. If you’re experiencing signs of social anxiety disorder or another mental health condition, seeking professional support is generally recommended.
The highest form of friendship for mental health is usually a connection that's supportive, inspiring, fulfilling, and enjoyable. Friends can support the mental health of their friends by actively listening to them, encouraging healthy habits, and offering material support like a meal or help accomplishing a task when needed.
A 2020 study outlines 5Cs that often seem to be associated with strong friendships. They are: communication, compatibility, commitment, care, and compromise. In addition, friends also typically must enjoy each other's company, each be a good listener, and have or be open to building a shared history together. Friends don’t have to totally agree on every topic, but they generally do have to realize that it takes mutual respect and care to build a real friendship.
One study aimed to answer the question of how much time it takes for adults to go from strangers to close friends. It suggests that it takes 94 hours to go from the acquaintance zone to casual friends and 164 hours to go from casual friends to friends. It takes 100 additional hours to go from friends to best friends or intimate friends. That means this study suggests that the three stages of friendship are casual friends, friends, and—the third level—best friends.
There are various levels of friendship depending on the intimacy you have with the other person. For example, work friends may have a daily intimacy due to the fact that they work, talk, and eat lunch with each other every weekday. This may be a different level of friendship from new friends who have only had the chance to hang out a few times and just know basic facts about each other, long-distance friends who rarely see each other but talk often, best friends who have known each other for years, and family members who have a close bond. Each friendship is different and unique, and the deepest level of friendship is usually one that involves intimacy, care, fun, a shared history and knowledge, consistent effort, and love.
There's no one way to quantify the level of a friendship. That said, one framework to consider is that acquaintances, casual friends, and good or best friends are the three levels of platonic connections. Moving from one level to the next may happen after a lot of talking and time spent together over months or years, to the point that strong friendships that matter and can last are able to form.
If you want to categorize your friendships or social groups, how you do so is up to you. You might have certain friends that you associate with key hobbies or interests, such as the other members of your book club or sports league. You might also have work friends, family members like siblings or cousins who are also friends, neighbors who are friends, and childhood friends. Reflecting on how you know each of your friends and what you appreciate about them may help you realize a logical way to categorize or think about the roles they play in your life.
Friend levels generally refer to levels of intimacy a person has with their platonic connections. For example, a casual acquaintance would be a lower level than a good friend or a best friend. When thinking about friend levels, it can be important to remember that all types of healthy friendships can be valuable and serve a purpose in a person’s life, and that each individual brings something different to the table.