Taking A Friendship Quiz: Exploring Quiz Questions In A Best Friend Quiz
Have you ever wondered just how close you and your friends really are? If so, you’re not alone. Uncertainty, or simple curiosity, about the strength of friendship, can be a common feeling, which may be why there are so many websites offering quizzes that claim to be able to give you a definite answer. However, can these tests accurately measure the quality and closeness of a friendship?
An online friendship quiz may offer some entertainment and could even inspire some meaningful reflection on your relationships. However, it might not accurately assess the strength of a friendship. These tests usually ask you to identify certain facts about your “bestie,” but the psychological understanding of friendship closeness typically includes many other factors besides knowledge. This article will explore the various ways that scientists quantify the bond between friends and how they relate to the kind of “friendship test” you’ll see online.
Why best friends matter
As reported by the American Psychological Association, researchers have found that stable, high-quality friendships are linked with positive outcomes, such as:
- Better physical health
- Reduced risk of depression and anxiety
- Greater life satisfaction
- More resilience in the face of romantic difficulties
An honest assessment of the strength of your friendships may help you recognize how robust your social network is. If you don’t feel like you have many good friends, working to expand and strengthen your social circle could have significant long-term benefits.
The appeal of a friendship quiz
For many people, an Internet “best friend quiz” might seem like simply an opportunity to have some silly fun while recalling pleasant memories with a friend. For others, though, the urge to test their closeness with another person could be rooted in a sense of insecurity and anxiety that relates to troubling past experiences.
Psychological research suggests that people may have different “attachment styles,” or mental habits that influence their perceptions, feelings, and behaviors related to interpersonal relationships. These are typically grouped into four categories:
- Secure attachment: People with this attachment style tend to feel secure and comfortable with emotional closeness.
- Anxious attachment: People with this attachment style tend to have a hard time trusting that other people like and value them.
- Avoidant attachment: People with this attachment style may distrust and avoid intimacy.
- Disorganized attachment: People with this attachment style may experience a mixture of avoidant and anxious tendencies concerning emotional bonds.
An anxious or disorganized attachment style might motivate a person to take friendship quizzes out of concern that the people they consider friends don’t see them the same way.
Can taking friendship quizzes be unhealthy?
Do you find yourself repeatedly taking quizzes to “test” your closeness with friends and brooding about the results? The tendency to dwell on your worries—known as rumination—may reinforce them and lead to negative, conflict-provoking behaviors.
Research suggests that reducing rumination can improve mental health and interpersonal outcomes for people with attachment insecurity. If you’re obsessing over friend quizzes and questioning whether your friends really care about you, taking a break may be good for your well-being.
Typical best friend quiz questions
When you start clicking links to online quizzes about friendship, you’ll likely notice that they tend to have a lot in common. These tests often feature a series of questions about details of your friend’s life and personality, including:
- Questions about personal history (e.g., “Who was your friend’s first crush?”)
- Questions about their preferences (e.g., “If they could only watch one movie for the rest of their life, which would it be?”)
- Questions about secrets (e.g., “What’s something they would never tell their parents?”)
- Questions about their hopes and fears (e.g., “What’s their dream job?”)
- Questions about pragmatic details (e.g., “Do you know their phone number by heart?”)
Other friendship quizzes may focus more on your personality and friendship style, asking how you act toward your friends and how you’d respond in hypothetical scenarios. For example:
- What would you do if your friend texted you about a difficult breakup?
- How would you plan their surprise party?
- What’s your response when a friend drops by with no notice?
- What kinds of vacation activities would you most like to do with your friends?
The final result of this kind of quiz is usually to categorize you as a specific “type” of friend, such as “The Mom of the Friend Group” or “The Wild Card.”
Some websites also invite you to create your own quizzes by choosing a bunch of questions similar to those above. You can then send the resulting quiz to your friends to test how much they know about you.
Do friend trivia quizzes measure something real?
The broad range of experiences involved in friendship may not be measurable by counting your answers to questions about someone’s personal tastes and life history. However, these kinds of tests could offer some hints about your level of intimacy, which is often a significant component of strong friendship.
Intimacy refers to a sense of closeness, trust, and familiarity between people, often expressed with phrases like:
- “They know me better than anyone.”
- “I can tell them anything.”
- “They really ‘get’ me.”
If you can easily answer many questions about your friend, it may be a positive indicator of intimacy.
What kinds of friend quiz questions are the best measures of intimacy?
One sign of intimacy that can be particularly strong is when a friend divulges things they normally keep secret, such as their vulnerabilities, insecurities, or failures. Most people tend to conceal these kinds of details until they’re sure that they can trust someone not to betray or reject them. This may be why popular friendship quizzes often ask whether you know things like:
- Your friend’s most embarrassing memory
- The thing your friend likes least about their appearance
- Your friend’s least popular opinion
- What your friend regrets most
- Your friend’s greatest fear
Is there a scientific version of a friend quiz?
Psychologists and social scientists use several questionnaires to assess the strength of friendship. These instruments are widely used to investigate how various personal, social, and economic factors influence the strength of people’s connections. Notable examples include:
Validation research suggests that these tools can provide reasonably accurate and reliable metrics for the intimacy and strength of friendships.
Psychometric test vs. trivia-style best friend quiz
Although a scientific questionnaire about friendship and an online quiz may be attempting to measure similar things, they often go about it in very different ways. An online “best friend test” is usually structured like other popular Internet quizzes, meaning either:
- A series of trivia-like questions testing your knowledge of your friend.
- A personality test in which you answer questions about how you would act in hypothetical scenarios related to your best friend.
In contrast, psychometric tools used for measuring friendships often ask questions about things like your personal feelings about the relationship and how your friend typically acts toward you. They’re often answered on a numerical scale rather than a multiple-choice format. In addition, to be considered valid for purposes of scientific assessment, they generally must be administered by a trained researcher or mental health professional.
What does a psychometric test measure that a friend quiz can’t?
As noted above, online friend tests may give you a rough sense of how much intimacy you and a friend have. However, research-validated psychological tests generally measure several other dimensions of friendship that usually aren’t addressed by an amusing quiz on a web page:
- Stimulating companionship: How much do you enjoy spending time with your friend?
- Help: Do your friends support and encourage you emotionally in addition to offering pragmatic assistance with things like moving?
- Reliable alliance: Can you count on your friends to stick with you throughout misfortune or conflicts?
- Self-validation: Do your friends help you feel more secure, confident, and valued?
- Emotional security: Are you better able to handle challenging or frightening situations when you have your friends with you?
Should you feel bad if you “fail” a friendship quiz?
You probably don’t need to worry too much if you’ve taken an online friendship quiz and the results say you’re not very close with a specific person. As noted above, these tests are generally designed for entertainment purposes only, and they likely can’t measure the full complexity and richness of a friendship.
What can you do to form stronger friendships?
Are you searching for friend quizzes because you’re concerned that you may not have a close enough bond with someone you care about? If so, you might consider adopting some of the following habits, which may help nurture stronger friendships:
- Reach out and respond: When others know they can count on you to make the effort to connect with them (or respond to their efforts to connect), they may be more likely to trust you in larger matters.
- Be empathetic: You might pay close attention to your friends when you’re spending time together. Giving them space to talk about what’s going on in their lives and expressing empathy and compassion may help them feel more secure in your friendship.
- Show vulnerability: While many of us prefer to share our triumphs and joys with the world and keep our failures and weaknesses personal, letting a friend know when you’re feeling sad, worried, or uncertain may do more to build intimacy.
- Ask for and offer help: Leaning on your friends when you need help can let them know that you consider them reliable and may foster a greater sense of closeness. Being there when they need assistance can have a similar effect.
Friendships and mental health
If you’re feeling distressed because you’re unsure about the strength of your friendships, talking with a mental health professional might be helpful. Clinical research indicates that various evidence-based therapies can reduce feelings of insecurity and counteract the negative effects of loneliness.
In addition, therapy can often help you develop the interpersonal abilities and confidence that make it easier to nurture friendships. Working on your self-esteem in therapy could assist you in widening your social circle or growing closer to the friends you already have.
How to find therapy for challenges with friendship
Consulting your primary care physician can be an effective way to start seeking therapy. Your doctor can generally provide a referral to a qualified mental health care professional, often one who’s successfully helped past patients. You may also be able to find trained and licensed care providers through online resources provided by organizations like:
- The American Psychological Association (APA)
- The Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA)
- The Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies (ABCT)
Online mental health care for social difficulties
You can also talk to a therapist about your interpersonal challenges and friendship-related distress in an online setting. Internet-delivered therapy can be more convenient than traditional treatment in many ways. For example, it often allows for a greater degree of flexibility in scheduling, making it easier to attend sessions regularly. You can connect with a licensed therapist via audio, videoconferencing, or live chat from home or anywhere with an internet connection.
Many people find web-based treatment at least as effective as in-person therapy. A 2021 meta-analysis found that cognitive-behavioral therapy delivered over the Internet significantly reduced social anxiety disorder symptoms, with effect sizes similar to those of standard forms of treatment.
Takeaway
Taking friend quizzes online can be entertaining and may prompt you to reflect on the quality of your relationships. However, it may not be an accurate method of assessment, and becoming emotionally invested in the results may be a sign that you’re feeling uncertain about your bonds with others. Talking with a therapist may help you more realistically evaluate and strengthen your friendships. Consider reaching out to a licensed therapist for support with your friendships.
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