True Friendship: Cultivating Happiness Outside Of Romantic Relationships
Friendship is an important aspect of life for many people. That said, friendships can take many different forms. You may have your work friends, your friends from high school or college, childhood friends, and friends who may not be much more than acquaintances. All of these types of friendship can be beneficial, but you might not consider all of your connections to be “true friends.” True friendship is typically sustained and lasting and may involve a deeper connection and a higher level of vulnerability than other forms of friendship. Read on to explore this concept.
The definition of true friendship
Exactly what makes two people “true friends” can vary based on the individual. The American Psychological Association defines friendship in general as “a voluntary relationship between two or more people that is relatively long-lasting and in which those involved tend to be concerned with meeting the others’ needs and interests as well as satisfying their own desires.” It also states that friendships are often formed through shared experiences “in which the people involved learn that their association with one another is mutually gratifying.”
Beyond this formal definition of friendship, many people may define a true friend as a best friend—a real friend who has stood by them through thick and thin. True friends often have connections that involve mutual respect and prioritizing time with the other person despite the external pressures of busy lives. Real friends can be defined as people who make the effort to spend time together and who have the mutual desire to bring out the best in each other. Ultimately, true friendships are defined by the people in them.
Benefits of true friendships and the impact of friendship on happiness levels
As anyone who has had a true friend can attest, these connections can be supportive, inspiring, and enjoyable. Research suggests that humans need social connection in order to be healthy, a fact that points to the potential benefits friendships can bring.
How true friendships can benefit those involved
The relationship between true friendship and happiness
Research has consistently indicated that social support systems and healthy relationships including and beyond those with family members are crucial to mental health and overall well-being. That said, there is now some data to suggest that the quality of friendships may also be significant. One study found that people with close friends with whom they interact often and put in effort to maintain friendships had higher levels of overall life satisfaction than people who did not have such good friends in their lives.
How to maintain a true friendship
Like all strong relationships, true friendships can take work to maintain. In fact, putting in the effort can be what differentiates a true friendship from a less close relationship. Another factor that can indicate a true friendship is the quality of communication.
The importance of communication
Effective communication can be an essential component of a wide variety of different relationships, including friendships. Friends need to trust each other to be open and honest and believe that their true thoughts and feelings will be received without judgment. Conflict, which can occur in any relationship, is also often easier to work through when friends have established a baseline expectation of strong communication.
How friendships can provide support
True friends are often present and supportive in both good times and bad. Many people may consider dependability to be an essential quality of true friendship. Trust and loyalty can also be significant aspects of a strong friendship connection.
The role of trust and loyalty in friendships
In a good friendship, good friends trust each other to keep their confidences, another aspect of dependability. Loyalty can involve standing up for a friend and advocating for them and being there for them when needed. Trust and loyalty can help true friends be vulnerable with each other and lean on each other as sources of encouragement.
How friendship differs from a romantic relationship
Many of the qualities of true friendship can overlap with the qualities of a healthy and supportive romantic partnership. It might not be surprising that a number of couples may refer to each other as their “best friend.” However, there are some key differences between close friends and romantic partners in most cases. Romantic relationships typically involve a type of physical or sexual intimacy that close friendships may not. Romantic relationships are also usually, though not always, predicated on the concept of monogamy and exclusivity, while friendship typically does not involve those kinds of boundaries.
Social media’s impact on friendships
Social media can have a profound effect on all types of relationships, including friendships. While some aspects of social media can be beneficial for friendship and bring people closer, other qualities of these platforms may sow division and conflict in relationships. One of the more problematic aspects of social media could be its tendency to promote comparison, which could lead to people feeling lonely or left out of friendship interactions.
How social media can also affect a romantic relationship
Many of the same impacts social media has on friendships could also translate to romantic relationships. Social media could help a person make their partner feel loved and appreciated, such as by posting pictures or favorite memories with them for their whole community to see. However, social media may also lead to jealousy and conflict between partners. In general, it can be important to be mindful about one’s social media use, especially if it is having a negative impact on one’s close relationships.
Mental health support for friendship concerns
While true friendships are often a source of joy, support, and connection, any relationship can come with trials and tribulations. If you are experiencing conflict or tension in your friendships, it could be helpful to talk through your concerns with a neutral third party like a licensed mental health counselor.
The convenience of online therapy
It can take a lot of work to maintain friendships with all of the varying and complex demands on people’s time nowadays. If you are seeking mental health support related to your relationships, it can sometimes be complicated to find a time to attend an in-person therapy appointment. Online therapy can help to bridge this gap, as you can attend online therapy sessions from the convenience of your own home and on your own schedule.
Research indicates that online therapy may be just as effective as traditional in-person therapy for addressing a number of mental health concerns, including those related to relationships and friendships. For example, one study assessed the use of online therapy for lowering social anxiety and promoting higher levels of intimacy in close relationships. Its findings suggest that online therapeutic intervention may lead to stronger social connections.
Takeaway
What defines true friendship?
There is no one concrete definition of true friendship, as opinions about what constitutes a true friend may vary between people. In essence, true friendships are guided by qualities that create a deep, trusting, lasting bond between people. These qualities may include trust, acceptance, unwavering support, loyalty, honesty, and reciprocity. True friends genuinely enjoy each other’s company, have fun together, and find joy and laughter in shared experiences.
What is the characteristic of a true friend?
Many characteristics help define a true friend. One of the most fundamental is reliability. A true friend is someone you can count on, whether for support, advice, or simply to show up when they say they will. This reliability builds trust, cultivating confidence that you'll know they will be there in both good and difficult times.
A true friend will not expose you to peer pressure or be passive-aggressive when there's a conflict. They'll be honest but fair and kind in the interest of helping you grow and be your best self. They’ll make you feel special for being just who you are and lucky to have a friend like them.
What is the core of true friendship?
The core of true friendship is built on trust, empathy, honesty, and unconditional love. True friends support and respect each other and enjoy their time together.
How do you stop obsessing over a lost friendship?
Letting go of a lost friendship can be as difficult as losing a husband, wife, or partner. Often, the longer the friendship, the harder it is to cope. Here are some steps to help you stop obsessing and move forward:
Validate your feelings with self-acceptance
The emotions one experiences when losing a friend are often challenging. Whether it's anger, sadness, or disappointment, recognize that such feelings are normal and allow yourself to experience them fully. Journaling or talking to someone you trust can help you process and learn to value your feelings—no matter how difficult.
Take time to reflect
Think about what made the friendship meaningful to you. What matter(s) led to its end? What would you have done differently? Understanding why things ended can sometimes bring closure, especially if there are unmet needs or unresolved issues.
Take care of yourself
Taking care of yourself can help you shift focus and foster resilience. Consider trying something new or doing things that boost your self-confidence. Engage in activities that nurture and bring joy.
Limit reminders
Try to reduce your exposure to things that constantly remind you of your lost friend, such as revisiting old messages, social media posts, or photos. Avoid running into them, and although you may want to hear about what they’re up to, refrain from talking about them in casual social settings (unless it makes you feel better to do so). The aim isn’t to forget about them; it's to create a little distance that might make it easier to move on.
Invest in other relationships
Spend quality time with friends or family members who support you. Make an effort to find true friends or forge connections with like-minded individuals with whom you share common interests. New or renewed connections can help fill the void and remind you that meaningful relationships are still possible.
Accept that not all friendships last forever
Some friendships are meant to be temporary, and that's okay. Relationships typically change over time; with some people, you might grow closer, and with others, you might grow further apart. Recognizing this might help you make peace with your friendship's end and look forward to new experiences with future friends.
Seek closure and let go of regret
If possible, and you can do so peacefully, have one last conversation with your friend to gain closure. If that isn't possible, consider writing a letter to express your perspective and emotions. This can help you release any lingering regrets.
How do you know true friendship?
It isn’t always obvious when you’ve made a true friend, but there are some key characteristics that best friends share. For example, you know your friendship is legit when you can trust them to keep your secrets, and you know they won’t judge. They respect your boundaries and are understanding when you must cancel or turn down plans together.
In true friendships, individuals mutually support each other in tough times and celebrate each other’s successes without jealousy or competitiveness. They grow together and enjoy lifting each other up. In good friendships, individuals can agree to disagree and respect each other’s point of view, no matter what.
What defines a good friendship?
There is no one single thing that defines a good friendship; however, trust and reliability are two common elements present in a solid friendship. Empathy, stability, and healthy boundaries are also key factors. A good friend will make you feel heard and encourage you to be your authentic self.
What is friendship in simple words?
It can be challenging to define friendship. In essence, it is a close relationship between people who care for each other and hold each other in high regard.
What is a true friendship essay?
A true friendship essay is a written or spoken word reflection on what a true friend means to them. The person writing a true friendship essay might explain what they think healthy friendships look like and discuss the different types and levels of friendship. They may choose to write about one friend specifically or communicate a broader view of friendships in general. Among other things, they might explore concepts of loyalty, trust, mutual respect, and empathy.
What is a true friendship quote?
Friendship is fundamental to human well-being and has inspired many quotes over the centuries. Here are some examples of friend quotes to share:
- “A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked” ~Bernard Meltzer
- “A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out”~ Walter Winchell
- “True friends are like diamonds—bright, beautiful, valuable, and always in style.” ~Nicole Richie
- “A true friend is someone who is there for you when he’d rather be anywhere else” ~Len Wein
- “A true friend accepts who you are, but also helps you become who you should be” ~Unknown
Why is friendship important?
Many societies focus on the importance of a romantic relationship over a platonic friendship, but science indicates that humans need platonic relationships for health and happiness, too. Here are some reasons why friendships are so important for our mental health and well-being:
- Friends provide emotional support, comfort, encouragement, and a listening ear during challenging times. Having a confidante can help alleviate stress and reduce feelings of loneliness and isolation.
- Friendships often bring laughter and joy, creating positive experiences and memories that boost overall life satisfaction. Sharing good times can help friends decompress and recharge.
- Friends can challenge us to grow and improve. A good friend will provide honest feedback, helping us see things from a different perspective, which can promote self-awareness and positive change.
- Friendships can give us a feeling of understanding and acceptance. This sense of belonging fulfills a fundamental human need for connection and validation.
- Friends celebrate each other’s achievements and navigate life’s milestones, enriching those experiences and giving them deeper meaning. Friends also provide support during difficult situations or transitional phases, helping us adapt and feel less isolated.
- Studies also show that strong social connections and spending time with others have many physical health benefits and may even help us live longer.
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