True Friendship: Cultivating Happiness Outside Of Romantic Relationships

Medically reviewed by Corey Pitts, MA, LCMHC, LCAS, CCS
Updated October 7, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Friendship is an important aspect of life for many people. That said, friendships can take many different forms. You may have your work friends, your friends from high school or college, childhood friends, and friends who may not be much more than acquaintances. All of these types of friendship can be beneficial, but you might not consider all of your connections to be “true friends.” True friendship is typically sustained and lasting and may involve a deeper connection and a higher level of vulnerability than other forms of friendship. Read on to explore this concept.

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The definition of true friendship

Exactly what makes two people “true friends” can vary based on the individual. The American Psychological Association defines friendship in general as “a voluntary relationship between two or more people that is relatively long-lasting and in which those involved tend to be concerned with meeting the others’ needs and interests as well as satisfying their own desires.” It also states that friendships are often formed through shared experiences “in which the people involved learn that their association with one another is mutually gratifying.”

Beyond this formal definition of friendship, many people may define a true friend as a best friend—a real friend who has stood by them through thick and thin. True friends often have connections that involve mutual respect and prioritizing time with the other person despite the external pressures of busy lives. Real friends can be defined as people who make the effort to spend time together and who have the mutual desire to bring out the best in each other. Ultimately, true friendships are defined by the people in them. 

Benefits of true friendships and the impact of friendship on happiness levels

As anyone who has had a true friend can attest, these connections can be supportive, inspiring, and enjoyable. Research suggests that humans need social connection in order to be healthy, a fact that points to the potential benefits friendships can bring.

How true friendships can benefit those involved

Having and being a good friend can lead to a number of positive effects in a person’s life. True friendships can provide emotional support, which can assist a person in navigating complex life situations. It could also be argued that one of the essential traits of a true friendship is the ability to challenge each other, which can lead to personal growth and learning to see the world from different points of view.

The relationship between true friendship and happiness

Research has consistently indicated that social support systems and healthy relationships including and beyond those with family members are crucial to mental health and overall well-being. That said, there is now some data to suggest that the quality of friendships may also be significant. One study found that people with close friends with whom they interact often and put in effort to maintain friendships had higher levels of overall life satisfaction than people who did not have such good friends in their lives. 

How to maintain a true friendship

Like all strong relationships, true friendships can take work to maintain. In fact, putting in the effort can be what differentiates a true friendship from a less close relationship. Another factor that can indicate a true friendship is the quality of communication. 

Two male friends laugh while sitting next to each other on a rooftop in the city.
Getty/Mike Harrington

The importance of communication

Effective communication can be an essential component of a wide variety of different relationships, including friendships. Friends need to trust each other to be open and honest and believe that their true thoughts and feelings will be received without judgment. Conflict, which can occur in any relationship, is also often easier to work through when friends have established a baseline expectation of strong communication. 

How friendships can provide support

True friends are often present and supportive in both good times and bad. Many people may consider dependability to be an essential quality of true friendship. Trust and loyalty can also be significant aspects of a strong friendship connection. 

The role of trust and loyalty in friendships

In a good friendship, good friends trust each other to keep their confidences, another aspect of dependability. Loyalty can involve standing up for a friend and advocating for them and being there for them when needed. Trust and loyalty can help true friends be vulnerable with each other and lean on each other as sources of encouragement. 

How friendship differs from a romantic relationship

Many of the qualities of true friendship can overlap with the qualities of a healthy and supportive romantic partnership. It might not be surprising that a number of couples may refer to each other as their “best friend.” However, there are some key differences between close friends and romantic partners in most cases. Romantic relationships typically involve a type of physical or sexual intimacy that close friendships may not. Romantic relationships are also usually, though not always, predicated on the concept of monogamy and exclusivity, while friendship typically does not involve those kinds of boundaries. 

Social media’s impact on friendships

Social media can have a profound effect on all types of relationships, including friendships. While some aspects of social media can be beneficial for friendship and bring people closer, other qualities of these platforms may sow division and conflict in relationships. One of the more problematic aspects of social media could be its tendency to promote comparison, which could lead to people feeling lonely or left out of friendship interactions. 

How social media can also affect a romantic relationship

Many of the same impacts social media has on friendships could also translate to romantic relationships. Social media could help a person make their partner feel loved and appreciated, such as by posting pictures or favorite memories with them for their whole community to see. However, social media may also lead to jealousy and conflict between partners. In general, it can be important to be mindful about one’s social media use, especially if it is having a negative impact on one’s close relationships. 

Mental health support for friendship concerns

While true friendships are often a source of joy, support, and connection, any relationship can come with trials and tribulations. If you are experiencing conflict or tension in your friendships, it could be helpful to talk through your concerns with a neutral third party like a licensed mental health counselor. 

Two male friends sit across from each other at a table outside while smiling.
Getty/ Ippei Naoi
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The convenience of online therapy

It can take a lot of work to maintain friendships with all of the varying and complex demands on people’s time nowadays. If you are seeking mental health support related to your relationships, it can sometimes be complicated to find a time to attend an in-person therapy appointment. Online therapy can help to bridge this gap, as you can attend online therapy sessions from the convenience of your own home and on your own schedule. 

Research indicates that online therapy may be just as effective as traditional in-person therapy for addressing a number of mental health concerns, including those related to relationships and friendships. For example, one study assessed the use of online therapy for lowering social anxiety and promoting higher levels of intimacy in close relationships. Its findings suggest that online therapeutic intervention may lead to stronger social connections

Takeaway

True friendship can provide a number of potential benefits, including a stronger sense of emotional support and increased overall life satisfaction and well-being. However, friendships take work, and external stressors like social media can sometimes put undue pressure on the friendship connection. Talking to a therapist may help you strengthen your friendships and your social support system.
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