What Is Friendship?

Medically reviewed by April Justice, LICSW
Updated December 10, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

What is friendship? This question has gained new relevance in the digital age as technology reshapes how humans connect. Some friends may be lifelong companions, while other friends are more temporary. However, the impact of friendship often remains constant. Below, examine the essence of friendship, its effects on mental health, and how meaningful relationships can be forged in today's increasingly digital world.

A woman and her male friend sit on a park bench on a sunny day and talk using sign language.
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Are you disconnected from your friends?

What is friendship? Defining connection

Friendship is a mutual bond between individuals based on trust, affection, and shared experiences. The digital age has broadened this definition, incorporating traditional in-person relationships and modern online interactions into the label. 

Friendship varies widely, influenced by cultural, social, and personal factors. While some friendships remain casual, others develop into deep emotional bonds. People often classify their relationships as acquaintances, close friends, and best friends. However, these labels can be limiting in capturing the complexity of human connection. Recognizing differences and unique bonds may aid individuals in understanding their social networks more profoundly.

What is friendship from a psychological perspective? 

Friendship, from a psychological viewpoint, serves to meet several fundamental needs, including the need for belonging, social support, and emotional validation. Key elements of friendship include companionship, trust, closeness, and intimacy. Research shows that friendships can play a role in shaping identities and influencing behavior. Close friends often serve as mirrors, reflecting the values of those they love and helping their friends understand themselves better in the process. 

Friendship and mental health

Friendship is often influential in supporting mental health. Friends can positively impact self-esteem, encourage belonging, and reduce loneliness. These connections can also help individuals cope with life's challenges.

Research indicates that people with strong social networks tend to have better mental health outcomes than those with limited social connections. This result may be due to the emotional support, practical assistance, and sense of community that friendships can provide. Having a best friend or a group of true friends can give people a sense of purpose and belonging, which can improve overall well-being.

Mental health benefits of social connections

The quantity and quality of social connections may impact mental health. Friendships can play a role in helping individuals:

  • Express emotions
  • Cope with stress
  • Manage mental health conditions

Emotional support from friends can help individuals process challenging emotions like grief or sadness. In some cases, friendships may prevent or mitigate the onset of mental health disorders like depression or anxiety. Friendships also offer opportunities for cognitive stimulation. Engaging in conversations, sharing ideas, and participating in new experiences with friends can keep the mind active and promote cognitive flexibility.

Characteristics of good friendships

Good friendships often share several qualities that contribute to their strength and longevity. These qualities may include mutual trust, respect, honesty, and support. In healthy relationships, both parties are comfortable being themselves and sharing their thoughts and feelings openly.

Effective communication can be another aspect of good friendships. This form of communication often involves expressing oneself clearly and listening actively to the other person. Good friends may be able to have meaningful conversations, offer feedback, and navigate disagreements respectfully.

Reciprocity is also a common feature of strong friendships. Reciprocity means that both individuals contribute to the relationship, offering support, time, and effort in relatively equal measures over time. This balance may distinguish true friendships from more superficial connections.

Building and maintaining good friendships

Building and maintaining good friendships often requires effort and intentionality. This process can involve investing time and energy into the relationship, showing up for your friends, and being reliable. Regular communication, whether through in-person meetings, phone calls, or digital platforms, may strengthen the connection.

Showing interest in your friends' lives, celebrating their successes, and offering support during challenging times are ways to nurture friendships. Creating shared experiences and memories can also strengthen the bond between friends, particularly in the digital age, where physical distance may be challenging.

Navigating adult friendships

Adult friendships often face unique challenges due to competing demands of work, family, and other responsibilities. Time constraints can make maintaining regular contact or engaging in shared activities difficult. Life transitions such as moving, changing jobs, or starting a family can affect existing friendships or create obstacles to forming new ones.

Another aspect of adult friendships is the potential for growing apart as individuals develop different interests, values, or life paths. This evolution can sometimes lead to changes in once-close friendships. However, friendships going through periods of change is not uncommon, and dynamics may shift over time.

A woman with a bike stands outside next to her female friend as they smile and look at a phone screen together.
Getty/Luis Alvarez

Strategies for nurturing adult friendships

Nurturing adult friendships may involve intentional effort and creative approaches. Individuals can prioritize quality over quantity, focusing on a smaller circle of close friends rather than trying to maintain many superficial connections simultaneously. Below are ways to nurture adult friendships:

  • Planning regular catch-ups, even over a phone call or video chat
  • Finding shared activities that fit your current schedules, such as virtual game nights or hiking on weekends
  • Being understanding and communicating openly about potential conflicts or challenges in maintaining the relationship
  • Staying open-minded and supportive of your friends' growth and changes over time

Technology can help individuals maintain adult friendships, especially when meeting face-to-face is challenging. Video calls, group chats, or shared online activities can help friends stay connected across distances or during periods of limited free time.

Technology and modern friendships

Technology has altered the landscape of modern relationships, including friendships and romantic connections. Social media platforms and messaging apps have made staying in touch with friends across distances and time zones easier. These tools allow for quick check-ins, sharing of life updates, and organizing events or gatherings with friends. However, the convenience of digital communication may sometimes affect the depth of friendships or romantic relationships. The ease of sending a quick text or liking a post may reduce the perceived desire for more substantive interactions with friends or partners.

Balancing digital and in-person friendships

Modern friendships often involve managing both digital and in-person interactions. Digital communication can enhance connectivity between friends but is often more effective as a supplement to direct, in-person engagement. Making time for in-person meetings with friends, even if less frequent, may deepen connections and inspire shared experiences.

The quality of digital interactions can also matter. Instead of relying solely on quick messages or likes, friends can use technology for more in-depth conversations. Video calls, for example, can provide more personal and meaningful communication for friens.

Emotional support and meaningful friendships

Meaningful friendships often include an element of emotional support, which may be particularly helpful during difficult times. Emotional support can involve being present for someone, listening to them, and offering empathy and validation. In the face of mental health challenges or other significant life events, friends can offer a sense of understanding, belonging, and hope. Knowing that someone cares and is there to listen without judgment may help individuals navigate tough situations.

Emotional support in online and offline friendships

Friendships, whether online or in-person, can provide emotional support, with differing techniques. Offline interactions often rely on physical cues, such as body language and vocal inflections, to deliver support. A hug, a sympathetic look, or sitting together in silence are all ways to offer emotional support for your friends.

In online friendships, emotional support may rely more heavily on written communication or voice and video calls. While this type of connection may seem less intimate than in-person support, online friends can still provide emotional assistance. Thoughtful messages, virtual check-ins, and the ability to express oneself in writing can also be beneficial forms of emotional support between friends.

Friendships and personal growth

Friendships can play a role in personal growth and development. Through interactions with friends, individuals can gain new perspectives, challenge their beliefs, and expand their understanding of the world. Friends often serve as sounding boards for ideas and aspirations, providing feedback that can foster personal and professional development.

Friendships also provide opportunities for skill development. Social interactions with friends may influence communication skills, emotional intelligence, and conflict-resolution abilities. Additionally, friends may introduce each other to new interests, hobbies, or areas of knowledge, promoting learning and personal enrichment.

How friendships are important throughout different life stages

The nature and impact of friendships can evolve throughout different life stages. In childhood and adolescence, friendships play a role in social and emotional development, helping individuals learn to navigate relationships and develop a sense of identity.

During young adulthood, friendships often center around shared experiences, such as college, early career stages, or exploring independence. These friendships can provide support during times of transition and help shape adult identities and values.

In middle adulthood, friendships may become more selective but often deeper. They can offer support through major life events such as marriage, parenthood, career changes, or loss. The shared history and understanding developed over time can make these friendships particularly significant.

In later life, friendships can offer social and emotional support, helping individuals stay connected and engaged as they face potential challenges such as retirement or loss of loved ones. Maintaining friendships can also promote cognitive health and overall well-being in older years.

Two middle aged male friends sit next to each other on the couch with their laptop and phone while smiling.
Getty/Jordi Salas
Are you disconnected from your friends?

Professional support options for friend challenges

Friendship is not always easy. When experiencing challenges with a friend or difficulty making friends in general, you might not be sure where to turn. Online therapy through a platform like BetterHelp is one method that can offer the emotional support of a close friend if your social circle is limited. For individuals who find maintaining regular social interactions difficult or who seek additional guidance, online therapy provides a convenient alternative. Clients may appreciate its affordability and the ability to choose a therapist they genuinely connect with, fostering a supportive environment that complements the benefits of friendship. Additionally, flexible scheduling options can make incorporating therapy into busy lifestyles easier, ensuring consistent care and emotional support.
Studies indicate that online therapy is an effective prevention and support service, with video conferencing enhancing its impact. This research demonstrates that internet-based digital psychotherapy may reduce various mental health challenges. Moreover, digital interventions have been shown to boost resilience, emotional regulation, relaxation, self-compassion, self-esteem, self-efficacy, and mindfulness.

Takeaway

What is friendship? Friendships are often a fundamental aspect of human experience, contributing to well-being, personal growth, and quality of life. Despite changes brought about by the digital age, friendships can make positive impacts to mental and physical health. 

Understanding what constitutes a healthy relationship, caring for these connections, and adapting to current life challenges may allow individuals to build friendships that enhance their lives and support their mental health. For support in this process or guidance in making new friends, consider seeking support online or in your area from a therapist.

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