What To Do When I Have No Friends And Feel Lonely
Having a reliable social circle filled with friends and family can be great for your mental health. If you have no friends and are beginning to experience negative effects, it may be time to take action. You might begin by assessing your social situation and determining the main reason why you may not currently have friends. Next, you can seek out potential friends with shared interests, make friendships online, join a gym or a church, or consider spending time with coworkers outside of work. Speaking with a licensed therapist can also be helpful in identifying and addressing the root of your social difficulties. You can do so in your local area or through an online therapy platform.
The negative effects of social isolation
Having few friends can lead to feeling lonely and isolated, which have been linked to increased stress, depression, and anxiety. Social support from friends plays a crucial role in buffering against these negative effects, promoting emotional well-being and resilience in the face of adversity.
Furthermore, lacking a diverse social network can limit opportunities for personal growth and meaningful social interactions, impacting both mental and physical health outcomes.
Understanding your social situation
It can be helpful to begin by assessing your social situation.
Why do I have no friends? Life circumstances that may contribute
Some people may not have friends because they recently moved to a new city and haven’t established new friendships yet. Others may have always been shy or introverted by nature and struggle with their friend-making skills or social confidence. Furthermore, many people experience life circumstances that interfere with establishing meaningful friendships, like isolation due to geographical or family situations.
Social anxiety disorder
Sometimes, people struggle to make friends due to anxiety or extreme shyness. If this is the case, it’s possible you may have social anxiety disorder or another mental health condition that could be holding you back from potential friendships. You can talk to your doctor or a psychologist about mental health disorders if you think you might have social difficulties beyond being a bit shy.
Autism spectrum disorder
Another factor that can play a part in why some people have few or no friends may be autism spectrum disorder (ASD). ASD typically affects a person throughout their life, from early childhood through adulthood. People with ASD often have difficulty communicating and forming friendships as easily as people who don’t have ASD. However, people with ASD can learn social skills and successful methods for meeting people and forming friendships in ways that work for them. If you suspect you might have ASD, you might consider talking to a doctor or mental health professional with experience diagnosing this condition.
Working on your social skills
How to build relationships and find companionship
Trying to make new friends can feel awkward at first, especially when you already feel isolated. It’s not uncommon for a person to have difficulty making friends once they’re done with school because the opportunities to meet people may not be as frequent as they used to be. Still, it can be possible to make friends as an adult.
Form a connection over common interests
Most people tend to make new friends by meeting people with similar interests. You likely have hobbies you enjoy. If you can join a group or two based on things you love, it can be easier to make friends.
For example, someone who loves sports might meet new friends by attending games or volunteering at sporting events, and comic book fans might find new friends at comic book stores and conventions. If music is your thing, seeing a band you like might be an excellent opportunity to meet people. Book clubs and various crafting groups may also be options for you.
Friendliness and sociability are skills that can improve with practice. However, it is often easier to talk to people if you have common interests. For example, seeing a person wearing your favorite band’s shirt can be an excellent way to start a conversation.
Connect with people online when you feel lonely
Developing friends online can be helpful when you feel lonely and want to reach out to others. Online friends may not be a substitute for real-life friendships, but talking to people online can be comforting and give you practice making conversation. Many people find good friends through social media, and sometimes, people form deep connections with others they never meet face-to-face.
There can be many online communities, and it’s usually easy for anyone to chat about things whenever they have the time. Some excellent ways to meet people online can include the following:
Joining Facebook groups
Discussing your passions with like-minded people on Reddit
Playing online video games
Take an online pottery class or another class based on your interests
Using “friend dating” apps like Bumble BFF
Finding virtual or in-person events and gatherings on Meetup.com
Join a gym to make new friends
Joining a gym can be another excellent way to make friends. Chit-chat with a friendly stranger at the gym can become a friendship over time. Also, regularly going to the gym can be a good opportunity to work on your physical health, which may help you feel more confident when talking to others. If you find the gym intimidating, or if lifting weights and walking on the treadmill isn’t your style, you might attend fitness classes that pique your interest instead.
Seek companionship through a church or spiritual group
Another option may be joining a church or other religious group, which can be a good way to meet people and form friendships. You are likely to meet people who have common interests with you at a church or another spiritual organization, which can help you make good friends with shared interests.
Socialize with coworkers to form deeper relationships
Another idea can be to consider whether your coworkers could potentially become your friends outside of work. People regularly become true friends through company social events at work and some even find their best friend in a work setting. You might start by simply asking a coworker to grab a bite to eat with you after your shift is over.
Get emotional support for feelings of isolation
Speaking to a therapist for professional help might be a good idea if making friends is a challenge for you. Some people who don’t have a support system may begin to withdraw from society, potentially making it even harder to meet new people. A therapist can be a source of strength for those who feel lonely or isolated.
Benefits of online therapy for enhancing social support
If social anxiety disorder or shyness is the reason behind your friendship difficulties, then it may seem intimidating to attend a therapy session in person. Online therapy can empower you to get the professional guidance you deserve from the comfort of your home or another familiar location with an internet connection. You can also choose to speak to your therapist over the phone or through online chat if you don’t feel comfortable with a video call.
Effectiveness of online therapy for social connection
According to a 2022 study looking at the potential efficacy of online cognitive therapy for social anxiety disorder, internet-based therapy can be an effective way to reduce social anxiety symptoms. In many cases, it may eliminate a social anxiety disorder diagnosis altogether, as 73% of the study’s participants no longer met the diagnostic criteria after treatment.
Takeaway
Is it OK if I have no friends and feel lonely?
What often matters more than the fact of having few social connections is how you feel about it. Loneliness is the perception of being alone and not having anyone to connect with or rely on. If you feel that you lack friends or healthy friendships and have been experiencing lonely feelings persistently, it’s typically worth addressing. Chronic loneliness can have significant impacts on mental and physical health over both the long- and short-term.
What can I do if I have no friends?
There are various strategies you can try to form new social connections if you would like to make a new group of friends. As outlined above, improving your social skills, finding people who enjoy the same things as you such as a hobby or a sport, pursuing online friendships, developing friendships with your coworkers, and seeking the support of a therapist could all be helpful.
What does it mean if you have no friends?
Not having any or many friends could mean that a person is lonely, or it could mean that they’re fulfilled by other social connections such as those with family, coworkers, or neighbors. In general, however, having a healthy and diverse social circle of different types of connections that feel fulfilling to you can help promote overall well-being and quality of life.
Is not having friends a red flag?
Chronic loneliness can be a serious situation that may have a direct impact on a person’s mental health. Pointing to a lack of friends as a “red flag” may be an overstatement in many cases and could be further isolating. Instead, this fact could simply indicate that a person has had trouble making friends for whatever reason and may be in need of some compassion and quality social connection.
Is it bad to be a loner?
Being a loner, or having few friends or weak social connections, can be a negative thing if it negatively affects you. In general, humans need social connections in order to feel supported and to promote positive physical and mental health. If you’re feeling the effects of chronic loneliness or having fewer friends than you’d like, it can be worth taking steps toward cultivating a circle of more friends and acquaintances that you can spend time with and exchange emotional support with.
Should I worry if I have no friends?
Not having close friends can lead to loneliness, which can then lead to a variety of negative effects on mental and physical health and well-being. For example, peer-reviewed studies suggest that social isolation and perceived, chronic loneliness over time can increase a person’s risk of illnesses like heart disease, dementia, addiction, depression, anxiety, and others.
If you feel that you lack adequate social support, it may be worth engaging in some strategies to form new connections. Examples could include improving your social skills, finding people with common interests, spending time in public places like parks, cafes, or the local library, and cultivating friendships with coworkers or neighbors.
Why do I struggle to be social?
There are many different reasons a person might not feel especially social. Some people are naturally introverted, which generally means they need plenty of time to recharge after social situations. Other people may not fit cultural associations of what it means to be social, such as going to parties or events every night of the week and speaking to every person in the room, but may still enjoy the company of a close friend or two.
Still others may experience a physical disability (such as chronic pain or limited mobility) or a mental health condition (such as depression or social anxiety) that makes it difficult to be social. Finally, some people simply have trouble making friends for various other reasons, whether they’re shy or it just feels like too much pressure, and can benefit from some extra support in this area.
How can I start to socialize more?
If you want to expand your social circle, there are many different approaches you could take. First, you might take a look at your life and see where there may be existing connections that you could strengthen, such as with a coworker, a neighbor, or old friends you’ve lost touch with. You could also join a group of people with a common interest or pick up a new hobby that has a social component. If you feel that concerns around your social skills may be holding you back, you could work with a coach or a therapist to develop or polish these skills.
What are the effects of having no friends?
Chronic loneliness can cause a variety of negative physical and mental health effects. Over the short term, it could result in mental distress, trouble processing emotions, boredom, anxiety, depression, or challenges with substance misuse.
Over the longer term, loneliness could increase one’s risk for things like heart disease, diabetes, obesity, dementia, and a shortened lifespan. Having strong social connections, conversely, is generally associated with more positive physical and mental health outcomes overall, plus increased stress resilience, and other benefits.
How can I improve my social life?
There are lots of different ways to meet new people and forge connections if you’re looking to create a more robust social life. For example, you could join a sports team, hobby club, gym or exercise group, church or spiritual group, volunteer group, or neighborhood association to get to know new people with similar interests. You could also work with a coach or a therapist to improve your social skills.
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