What To Talk About With A Guy: Ideas To Spark Conversation
You’ve worked up the courage to approach the guy you’ve been swooning over. He heads your way, meets your eyes, and smiles. Everything seems to be going your way! You open your mouth to begin the conversation…and you realize you have no idea what to say to him.
Does this situation sound familiar? Many of us have trouble talking with someone who’s caught our eye, or we may feel shy or nervous. We want so badly to make a good impression that we may put too much pressure on ourselves to say something interesting. Tools like conversation starters can help in this case, giving us a go-to method to make a great first impression.
We’ve put together a list of 14 engaging topics and icebreakers that can give you something to talk about with a guy.
Do guys really like to discuss different topics than women?
Gendered expectations and patterns of socialization can cause men and women to develop differences in their conversational styles. Keeping this in mind can lead to more comfortable and natural social interactions—and it can also leave room for discussion regarding communication differences.
We do want to note that individuals of all genders may have varying communication preferences. Taking this into consideration, we’ve put together impactful and variable baseline topics for conversation, empowering both you and the person you’re interested in to put your own spin on things
What to talk about with a guy: Topics to break the ice with a guy
For many of us, the hardest part of the conversation is the beginning. Our list of icebreakers may help the next time you speak to a male that you’re interested in.
Talk about what he’s doing
Part of the reason it can be difficult to talk with a stranger is that you might not know much about them yet. That’s why shared context can be so helpful—if you have nothing else in common, at least you’re standing in the same room and can chat about that to start. For example, if you’re…
- At a live music show: Consider asking how he first heard the band.
- At the dog park: You might try telling him how cute his dog is.
- In a bar: You can ask if he’s celebrating something or just out with friends.
- Visiting an art museum: You can say something about the piece he’s looking at.
- Anywhere at all: You can find out what brought him there, who he’s there with, etc.
Tell him a story or discuss something that interests him
Sometimes the best way to get over the awkwardness of starting a conversation is to dive right in. If you’ve got a funny, interesting or weird story, you might choose to open with that. You can use a direct, playful line, such as: “The strangest thing happened today, and I feel like I need to tell somebody about it.” If he’s up for listening, it could be a hint that he’s open to an interaction with someone new.
Compliment him
Your compliment can be a bridge to more substantial topics. You could tell him he reminds you of a handsome actor, then ask about movies he’s seen. Or, you could say that his shirt looks good on him to start him talking about his fashion sense and personal preferences.
Talk about his name
If you’re truly stuck for ideas, simply introducing yourself could be a springboard to a conversation. Everyone’s name generally comes from somewhere, and asking what’s behind his name can lead to a deeper discussion. A few examples of how you can build a conversation around a name:
- If it’s an unfamiliar name, you could ask what it means.
- If it’s a common name, you might try asking if he’s named after a family member
- If his name reminds you of a friend or relative, you can tell a story about them.
More topics to get a guy talking
Let’s say you’re past the introduction portion of a conversation, and you’re trying to get a more in-depth dialogue going. Certain topics can encourage a guy to open up a bit more and take the conversation further.
Discuss his career
Research suggests that work and money are among the most frequent topics of conversation for men. If you express interest in what he does for a living, there might be a chance he’d want to discuss it further. Additionally, learning about his job can lead to a discussion about his passions, his education, his childhood interests, and his dreams for the future.
Not sure where to start? It may help to ask questions like “What do you enjoy most about that?” or “How did you first get interested in that?”
Ask about his hobbies
Many men may have other interests outside of work—and they may be even more passionate about their hobbies than they are about their careers. Asking what he does for fun may tell you a whole lot about him, and it may give him a chance to talk about a topic that excites him.
Talk about movies and TV
Entertainment can be a favorite topic of conversation for people of any gender. A simple way to learn more about a guy is to mention a recent movie or show you liked and ask if he’s seen it.
Even if the answer is no, this question can open the door to asking about stuff he has watched. Then, you can broaden the discussion to the types of stories, actors, and styles that both of you might enjoy.
Have a conversation about music when unsure what to talk about with a guy
A man’s taste in music can tell you a lot about his preferences in other areas. And you don’t have to limit yourself to asking about bands he’s into, either. Sometimes you can spark a more interesting conversation by asking something more specific, such as, “What’s the first concert you attended?” or “What songs do you like to put on when you’re driving?”
Feel free to add in your own anecdotes and experiences for a more riveting conversation.
Tell pet stories
Not everyone is an animal person. But people who have furry, feathery, or scaly companions might enjoy talking about them. If you have a pet, telling a funny story or interesting fact about them could be a great way to get the conversation moving.
Find out his backstory
It might not feel very original to ask “Are you from around here?” But, learning where a person came from and how they got here can be important for understanding who they are. If he moved here from far away, chances are there’s an interesting reason why. If he’s lived in the same town his whole life, you can learn what he values by asking what he loves about it.
Topics to create deeper intimacy
Psychologist Arthur Aron conducted an experiment on creating romantic bonds through short interactions. It worked so well that two of the study participants wound up getting married! A huge part of his clinical research process involved asking questions that became more and more intimate as the experiment continued.
While more research is being conducted to indicate a more efficient use of this strategy, the following topics may help you take the conversation to the next level after you’ve gotten somewhat comfortable talking to a guy:
“What in your life makes you feel most grateful?”
The answer to this question can reveal two different and very significant details. First, it can tell you what the guy you’re talking to values highly. Second, it may touch on some important people, experiences, or circumstances in his life.
“If you could magically learn the truth about one thing, what would it be?”
Most of us have at least a few major questions about our lives or the world around us, and the things we’re curious about can be just as important as the things we know. You may attempt to find out what answer he craves most.
“What would you save from a fire?”
Another hypothetical scenario that touches on both deep-seated values and personal histories is to ask him to imagine that his house is burning down. His loved ones and pets are all safely out, and he has the chance to save just one item. What would it be and why?
Our treasured possessions can have fascinating stories attached to them. You might understand him a lot better if you know what he wants to preserve at all costs.
Say something you like about him
You might have opened this interaction with a compliment as we suggested above. But once you’ve been chatting for a while, you might have a much better sense of what he’s like. Sincerely stating something you admire about him now that you know him better may bring the two of you closer together.
If things are going well, he may have some compliments to give you in return. Besides, if you start talking about why you like each other, it may lead naturally to discussing when you can see each other again.
Online therapy for conversational confidence: How can it help?
Does the thought of bringing up these topics with a man you like still make you break out in a cold sweat? It’s possible that your real challenge isn’t knowing what to say to a guy — it’s having the confidence to say it. In that case, you may be able to benefit from talk therapy, which has been indicated to be effective at reducing certain symptoms of social nervousness or social anxiety disorder.
Of course, talking to a therapist may not sound much easier than talking to a guy you like. That’s one reason why many people prefer online counseling. With web-based platforms, you can talk to a therapist through text messages, voice chats, or video conferences, choosing the level of engagement that makes you most comfortable.
Online counseling can be as effective as talking with a therapist in person, according to several different recent clinical studies. In one study, researchers conducted a systematic review and meta-analysis of randomized controlled trials to assess the efficacy of telehealth versus face-to-face therapy for certain mental health conditions, and found "no difference in effectiveness” between the two approaches. This evidence suggests that internet-based therapy can be helpful for overcoming social fears and gaining more confidence. If you think learning to talk to guys might be easier with support from a therapist, you can get in touch with one through BetterHelp.
Takeaway
How do you keep a conversation going with a guy?
Keeping a conversation going with a guy, just like with anyone, can be enjoyable and fulfilling. Here are some tips to help you maintain engaging and flowing conversations or to help you decide on what to talk about with a guy, or any person:
- Show interest: Ask open-ended questions that allow them to talk more about themself. Questions like "What do you enjoy doing in your free time?" or "Tell me about your recent experiences" can encourage longer and more meaningful responses.
- Listen actively: Pay close attention to what they are saying and respond to their statements. Acknowledge their thoughts and feelings to show that you're engaged in the conversation.
- Talk about personal stories: Offer your own anecdotes and experiences that relate to the topic at hand. This can help build a connection and make the conversation more relatable.
- Find common interests: Discover common interests or hobbies that you both enjoy and discuss them. It's often easier to maintain a conversation when you have common ground.
- Stay informed: Stay up-to-date on current events, pop culture, or topics that might interest him. This allows you to contribute to a wide range of conversations.
- Ask follow-up questions: When they mention something interesting, ask follow-up questions to delve deeper into the topic. For instance, if they talk about a recent trip, you can ask about their favorite experiences or the most memorable moments.
- Use humor: Appropriate humor can keep the conversation lighthearted and enjoyable. Talk about funny stories or jokes when the opportunity arises.
- Be supportive: Show empathy and support if they discuss challenges or concerns. This can make them feel more comfortable opening up and continuing the conversation.
- Respect boundaries: Pay attention to their cues. If they seems disinterested or uncomfortable with a particular topic, it's okay to shift the conversation to something else.
- Body language: Non-verbal cues are important for maintaining a conversation. Maintain eye contact, use positive body language, and offer nods or smiles to show that you're engaged.
What are 21 questions to ask a guy?
Coming up with things to talk about can be challenging. Here are 21 questions you can ask a person to get to know them better and to keep conversation flowing:
- What's your favorite way to spend a day off?
- What's your dream travel destination?
- If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
- What's a book that has had a significant impact on your life?
- What's your favorite type of music or favorite band?
- What do you like to do for fun or hobbies?
- What's the most adventurous thing you've ever done?
- If you could meet any historical figure, who would it be?
- What's your go-to comfort food?
- What are your long-term goals or aspirations?
- What's a skill or talent you'd love to learn or improve?
- What's a movie you can watch over and over again?
- What's the best piece of advice you've received?
- What's a place you'd like to visit but haven't had the chance to yet?
- If you could have dinner with anyone, living or deceased, who would it be?
- What's your favorite childhood memory?
- What is a typical day like for you?
- What's your ideal way to relax and unwind after a long day?
- What's a cause or charity that you're passionate about?
- What's the most interesting place or cool event you've ever been to?
- If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be?
What kind of questions do you ask a guy?
When you're getting to know a person, asking a variety of questions about interesting topics can help you build a deeper connection and understanding. Here are some types of questions you can ask that may lead to great conversation:
- Personal Questions: These help you learn more about their background and life experiences.
- Interests and Hobbies: These questions help you discover how they spend their free time, shared interests, or learn about passions.
- Goals and Aspirations: These questions can reveal their ambitions and future plans.
- Favorites: These questions are about their preferences and can lead to fun conversations.
- Values and Beliefs: These questions delve into their values and worldviews.
- Travel and Experiences: These questions can uncover interesting stories and adventures.
- Personal Growth: These questions are about self-improvement and self-reflection.
- Fun and Hypothetical Questions: These questions are for lighthearted, enjoyable conversations.
- Follow up Questions: After using a great conversation starter you can show genuine interest and help the conversation flow using follow up questions.
How do I talk to a boy I like?
Talking to a person you like can be nerve-wracking, but with the right approach, you can strike up a conversation and build a connection. Here are some tips to starting a fun conversation:
- Start with a friendly greeting: Begin with a warm and friendly greeting, such as a smile and a simple "Hi" or "Hello." A friendly demeanor can set a positive tone.
- Find common ground: Look for common interests, such as hobbies, classes, or mutual friends. Mentioning shared experiences can make the conversation easier.
- Ask open-ended questions: Encourage him to talk more about himself by asking open-ended questions that can't be answered with a simple "yes" or "no." For example, instead of asking, "Did you have a good weekend?" you can ask, "What did you do over the weekend?"
- Listen actively: Pay close attention to what he says, maintain eye contact, and respond thoughtfully. Show that you're genuinely interested in what he has to say.
- Share your thoughts: Don't be afraid to express your opinions and experiences. Talking about yourself can make the conversation more balanced and engaging.
- Use compliments: Compliments can break the ice and make the conversation more pleasant. Compliment something specific, like his sense of humor or his accomplishments.
- Stay positive: Keep the conversation positive and light-hearted. Avoid controversial or negative topics in the beginning.
- Body language: Maintain good eye contact, use open and friendly body language, and smile to show that you're approachable and interested.
- Be yourself: Authenticity is key. Be yourself, and don't pretend to be someone you're not. A genuine connection is more valuable.
- Find opportunities to Continue: If the conversation is going well and you're both enjoying it, try to find ways to continue it. You can suggest grabbing a coffee together, studying together, or any other activity you both might enjoy.
What is a good deep question?
A good deep question can spark meaningful and thought-provoking conversations. Here's an example:
"What do you believe is the purpose or meaning of life, and how has that belief shaped the way you live?"
This question delves into philosophical and existential themes, encouraging introspection and allowing for a profound exchange of ideas. It can lead to discussions about personal values, goals, and life perspectives, providing insight into a person's inner world. Remember that deep questions should be asked in a comfortable and appropriate context, as they can lead to intimate and reflective conversations.
How do you chat with a man online?
Chatting online can be a great way to get to know someone and build a connection. Whether it's through a dating app, social media, or other online platforms, here are some tips to help you navigate online conversations:
- Start with a friendly greeting: Begin the conversation with a warm and friendly greeting. A simple "Hello" or "Hi" can be a good starting point.
- Ask open-ended questions: Encourage him to talk more about himself by asking open-ended questions that can't be answered with a simple "yes" or "no." For example, you can ask about his interests, hobbies, or recent experiences.
- Find common interests: Look for shared interests or topics you both have in common. Discussing these can create engaging conversations and build rapport.
- Listen actively: Pay attention to what he says and respond thoughtfully. This shows that you're interested in the conversation.
- Talk about yourself: Don't be afraid to talk about your thoughts, experiences, and interests. Talking about personal details can make the conversation more balanced and genuine.
- Stay positive: Keep the conversation positive and light-hearted. Avoid controversial or negative topics initially, as you're just getting to know each other.
- Respect boundaries: If he seems disinterested or uncomfortable with a particular topic, respect his boundaries. It's important to gauge his comfort level and adjust your conversation accordingly.
How do you tease a guy on chat?
Teasing can be a fun and flirtatious way to engage in a chat with a person you're interested in. Here are some playful teasing tips:
- Start light: Begin with light and friendly teasing to gauge their reaction and comfort level. Avoid anything that could be seen as hurtful or overly critical.
- Use humor: Incorporate humor into your teasing. A well-timed joke or playful remark can make the conversation enjoyable and may lead to a good laugh.
- Be playful: Keep the tone light and playful. Teasing should be lighthearted and not meant to offend or upset.
- Choose safe topics: Tease them about topics that are safe and not too personal. Common subjects include his interests, hobbies, or a shared experience.
- Compliment alongside teasing: Balance teasing with compliments. For example, you can playfully tease them about his love for a particular hobby and follow it up with a compliment, like saying, "But I have to admit, your passion for it is pretty charming."
- Embrace inside jokes: If you talk about inside jokes or references, incorporate them into your teasing. It can create a sense of connection and shared humor.
- Know their boundaries: Pay attention to their reactions and comfort level. If they seem uncomfortable or ask you to stop teasing them about a particular topic, respect their boundaries.
- Avoid sensitive topics: Avoid teasing about sensitive subjects like physical appearance, personal insecurities, or past relationships. These topics can be hurtful.
- Maintain respect: Keep the teasing respectful and never cross the line into mean-spirited or hurtful comments. The goal is to have a playful and enjoyable conversation.
- Embrace their teasing: If they teases you back, embrace it with a good sense of humor. It's a two-way street, and mutual teasing can make the conversation more enjoyable.
How do you flirt on chat?
Flirting in a chat can be a fun and lighthearted way to express your interest in someone. Here are some tips on how to flirt effectively in an online conversation:
- Start with a friendly greeting: Begin with a warm and friendly greeting to set a positive tone for the conversation.
- Use compliments: Compliments can be a great way to flirt. Compliment his appearance, personality, or something specific you like about him.
- Be playful: Inject humor and playfulness into the conversation. Talk about jokes or funny anecdotes to make the interaction enjoyable.
- Use emojis and GIFs: Emojis and GIFs can add a fun and expressive element to your chat. Use them to convey your emotions and reactions.
- Engage in light teasing: Playfully tease him about his interests, hobbies, or quirks. Keep the teasing light and avoid sensitive topics.
- Talk about personal stories: Talk about interesting and personal stories from your life to create a sense of intimacy.
- Ask open-ended questions: Encourage him to talk more about himself by asking open-ended questions. This can lead to deeper and more engaging conversations.
How can I impress him on chat?
Impressing someone in a chat can be achieved by being authentic, engaging, and showing genuine interest in the other person. Here are some tips to and topics to talk about that may help you make a positive impression in an online chat:
- Start with a friendly greeting: Begin the conversation with a warm and friendly greeting to create a welcoming atmosphere.
- Active listening: Pay attention to what the other person is saying and respond thoughtfully to their messages. This shows that you're engaged in the conversation.
- Ask open-ended questions: Encourage the person to talk more about themselves by asking open-ended questions. These questions require more than a simple "yes" or "no" response.
- Show genuine interest: Express a sincere interest in getting to know them better. Ask about their interests, hobbies, and experiences.
- Compliment sincerely: Offer genuine compliments, but make sure they are sincere and specific. Compliments about their personality, accomplishments, or appearance can be appreciated.
What should I text a guy first?
When sending the first text to someone, it's important to make a positive and engaging impression. Here's a suggestion for what to text as an initial message:
"Hi [Their Name], I hope you're doing well. I wanted to reach out and say hello. I'm [Your Name], and I noticed [mention where or how you came across them, e.g., through a mutual friend, a common interest, or a social event]. I thought it would be nice to start a conversation and get to know you better. Is there anything interesting you've been up to recently, or a favorite hobby you'd like to talk about?"
This message is friendly, introduces yourself, and expresses a genuine interest in getting to know the other person. It also opens the door for them to talk about something about themselves or a common interest, which can be the starting point for a meaningful conversation. Remember to be patient and respectful, and don't pressure the person to respond immediately.
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