Adulting Or Faking It: How Adult Are You?

Medically reviewed by Julie Dodson, MA, LCSW
Updated October 16, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Transitioning to adulthood can be a challenging and overwhelming experience for many people. As we take on more responsibilities and navigate the complexities that the "real world" often has, it's not uncommon to feel like we're not quite ready for it all. The idea of "adulting" has become a popular topic in recent years as more and more people tend to struggle to balance society's expectations and pressures with their personal goals and aspirations. Building a support system on which you can rely, and developing healthy coping mechanisms can help you manage the challenges of adulthood. You may also find that seeking professional help from a therapist in person or online is beneficial during this phase of your life.

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How adult are you? Defining "adulting"

Adulting is a term that typically refers to the process of transitioning from adolescence to adulthood and taking on the responsibilities and expectations that come with it. This might include achieving financial independence, developing a career, and becoming self-sufficient. Adulting often involves making life decisions and taking on more responsibilities, such as managing finances, owning a home, and raising a family.

Expectations of adults

However, society often pressures individuals to achieve these milestones in a specific way and by a certain age, which can make the adulting process more stressful. These societal expectations can range from owning a home by a certain age to having a stable career and starting a family. Try to remember that adulting can be a continuous process and that everyone's journey tends to be unique.

Common struggles of "adulting" and maturity

The transition to adulthood can be filled with many struggles and challenges. One of the most common struggles that people may face is finding a job that they enjoy and that provides a steady income. With the struggles of money may come the added problem of managing finances, whether it be saving money, paying off debt, or budgeting effectively. Maintaining healthy relationships can also be a challenge, as the responsibilities of adulting might often take up a lot of time and energy.

Reasons for these struggles in adulthood

There may be several potential reasons for these struggles, such as lack of support and guidance, whether it's from family, friends, or mentors, which can make it challenging to navigate the complexities of adulting. Also, a lack of resources, such as education, jobs, or financial assistance, may make it challenging to achieve certain milestones. Unrealistic expectations, whether imposed by society or by yourself, may also make adulting more problematic as they can lead to disappointment and frustration.

Navigating career choices as a grown-up

Deciding on a career path and navigating the job market can be overwhelming and stressful. It may be ideal to remember that adulting is typically a continuous process, and it's okay to change your mind or try different things. Try to keep in mind that career success may not only be measured by salary or job title, but also by personal fulfillment and satisfaction.

How adult are you in terms of your career choices?

By doing your research, exploring different options, and seeking guidance and advice from professionals like career counselors, you may make informed decisions about your career. It can be helpful to keep yourself open to new opportunities and try not to be afraid to take risks. Finding a career that aligns with your values, interests, and skills can be a fulfilling aspect of adulting.

Building a support system into adulthood

A solid support system can be a critical element to help you navigate the struggles of adulting. A support system may include people who provide emotional and practical support, guidance, and encouragement during difficult times. This could be friends, family, mentors, or professionals, such as therapists.

Getting through the challenges of adulthood

Having a support system can make a significant difference in managing the stress and challenges of adulting. It can also provide a sense of belonging and validation, which can be ideal when experiencing difficult situations. Building a support system can take time and effort, but it will likely be worth it in the long run. It may also be helpful to seek support groups, online communities, or other resources that might provide additional support and understanding. Try to keep in mind that you are not alone in your struggles, and seeking out support can be a sign of strength, not weakness.

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Developing healthy coping strategies

Navigating the struggles of adulting can be overwhelming, but several practical strategies may help.

Setting realistic goals

One of the most effective strategies can be setting realistic goals. Breaking down larger goals into smaller ones can make it easier to achieve them. Additionally, seeking external input can provide emotional support and guidance.

Ask for support and help when needed

It can also be best to seek out professional help when needed. This could include seeking help from a financial advisor to manage your finances or from a therapist to work through any emotional challenges.

Prioritize self-care

Another crucial coping strategy can be practicing self-care and self-compassion. Taking care of yourself physically and emotionally can be essential to give yourself time and space to relax and recharge.

Be kind to yourself

Self-compassion can also be a good idea because it may allow you to be kind, understanding, and not too harsh on yourself when you encounter struggles and setbacks.

Benefits of online therapy

Online therapy can be a valuable resource for navigating the struggles of adulting. Working with a therapist can provide insight into the underlying causes of your struggles and help you develop practical strategies for coping with them. It may also help you set realistic goals and provide guidance on achieving them. Online therapy can be a safe and supportive space to explore feelings and work through emotional challenges. Plus, it can empower you to get the professional help you deserve from the comfort of your home or anywhere you have an internet connection, at a time that works for you.

Effectiveness of online therapy

Seeking therapy can be an effective coping strategy for dealing with the struggles of adulting. Studies have shown that therapy can help individuals with a range of issues related to adulting, such as managing stress, improving relationships, and coping with mental health conditions. For example, a study published in the American Journal of Psychiatry found that cognitive-behavioral therapy was generally effective in helping individuals manage their stress levels. Additionally, research has found that online therapy is typically as effective as in-person therapy. 

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Takeaway

Adulting can be a challenging and overwhelming experience for many people. However, you may find a way to cope by understanding what adulting entails, identifying common struggles, and using practical coping strategies. You may also want to consider online therapy, which can be an excellent resource for those struggling with the transition to adulthood. With the help of an experienced therapist, you can gain insight into the underlying causes of your struggles, develop practical strategies for managing them, and obtain the clarity and confidence needed to move forward. 
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