Alone Time Vs. Loneliness: The Importance Of Solitude

Many people have a deep fear of loneliness, but is spending time by yourself always a bad thing? Emerging research suggests that it’s not. While social interaction can be important for your mental health and overall well-being, certain important benefits may also arise from taking time to be by yourself.

Possible positive effects of alone time include mentally recharging, sorting through your thoughts, and deepening your engagement with creative pursuits or personal pleasures. That said, time alone can also have negative consequences, such as reinforcing feelings of anxiety or depression. Psychologists have also discovered that the amount of time spent alone may not be the main predictor of loneliness. Instead, each individual may have to figure out the best balance of social bonding and alone time for themselves. For help with loneliness or making the most of your alone time, consider scheduling a session with a licensed therapist online or in person.

Negative impacts of loneliness

Human beings tend to be profoundly social creatures. As such, being or feeling isolated from others can pose major psychological difficulties. In general, there’s a considerable amount of literature linking feelings of loneliness to negative mental health outcomes.

• Loneliness may be a significant risk factor for depression.
• Social isolation appears to increase anxiety symptoms.
• Feeling lonely in childhood may increase the likelihood of mental illness in adulthood.
• Loneliness often plays a role in substance use disorders.
• Personality disorders may be exacerbated by loneliness.
• People who feel lonely could be at greater risk of suicidal thoughts and behaviors.

If you’re feeling alone and having thoughts of suicide, remember that you can talk with a compassionate, trained volunteer at the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. They’re available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. You can reach them online or by dialing 988.

In addition to the mental health downsides of loneliness, prolonged social isolation could have consequences for physical health and cognitive abilities. For example, studies have found that having fewer friends and living alone tends to be correlated with a higher risk of dementia and worse physical function. 

Alone time doesn’t always mean loneliness

Despite the potentially troubling list of problems associated with loneliness, spending time alone isn’t necessarily the problem. Exploratory studies indicate that the objective amount of time a person spends on their own is usually only weakly correlated with feeling lonely. 

If the amount of time you’re alone isn’t the main determinant of loneliness, what are the other important factors? For many, the extent to which they feel connected to their communities or society at large can be crucial. This sense of social integration can be influenced by things like:

• Social network size
• Presence or strength of romantic relationships
• Marital status
• Strength or weakness of relationships with family members
• Presence or absence of children
• Living alone or with others
• Acceptance from community members
• Participation in community organizations
• Engagement with religious congregations

Individual personality factors may also play a role in loneliness. For example, some researchers have found that low self-esteem could contribute to feelings of loneliness, although updated evidence may be needed. If you tend to evaluate yourself negatively, you might also underestimate how much your peers like and accept you. A tendency toward neuroticism may also increase loneliness, while extraversion and agreeableness could protect against it.

Another major factor may be whether you’re spending time alone by choice. While self-isolating can be problematic when taken too far, severe loneliness usually comes from unwanted solitude — a belief that you lack the social connection you crave.

Potential benefits of alone time

Being alone for too long can be a mental health risk, but spending a moderate amount of time in your own company can be a good thing. If you’re feeling socially overwhelmed, taking a break to be by yourself could even be a form of self-care. It can help you relieve the stress that often comes from trying to navigate complicated interactions with others. 

Meanwhile, spending time alone without a specific task can be an important opportunity for self-reflection. It may also spur you to engage your imaginative abilities, leading to increased creativity. 

Although it might seem like a paradox, alone time could also strengthen your interpersonal relationships. Sometimes, it can be hard to properly think through your feelings about others when you’re around them all the time. Being by yourself for a while could help you gain more insight into the difficulties you’ve been having with someone in your life or even cause you to appreciate their company more.  

How much time alone is good for you?

Based on current psychological research, it seems that the proper balance between social interaction and alone time may not be the same for everyone. Introverted individuals may need more solitude to function well in daily life, for example. Those high in anxiety may have a higher preference for spending time by themselves, while those prone to depression could be at a greater risk of loneliness.

Some research indicates that people who spend more than 75% of their time alone may be at a substantially higher risk of feeling isolated. Aside from this broad guideline, though, individuals may need to determine their ideal amount of solitude through self-reflection.

The reasons you’re by yourself often matter more than the exact amount of time you’re spending alone. If you’re withdrawing from others due to social anxiety or because you’re being ostracized or bullied, it’s likely to be a harmful experience. You may need to seek some positive social interactions to balance it out.

On the other hand, when you’re feeling overwhelmed, stressed, or burned out by social pressure, taking some time for yourself can have a restorative effect. Possible signs that you may benefit from alone time can include the following:

• You’re becoming easily irritated and snapping at people over small things.
• You feel exhausted at the thought of social activities.
• It’s hard for you to concentrate on what others are saying.
• You’re feeling apathetic, displaying little emotion during interpersonal interactions.

How to get the most out of your alone time

Once you decide to take some time for solitude, how can you make good use of it?

Try something new

Is there a movie you’ve been wanting to watch or an activity you’ve wanted to try? Alone time can be a great opportunity to explore your interests and tastes and get to know yourself better.

Turn off your devices

If your goal is self-reflection, you may want to think about avoiding distractions like popular media, online interactions, and attention-hogging games.

Engage with nature

Spending time in natural settings has frequently been linked to a wide variety of physical and mental benefits. Being away from the hubbub of human-made spaces may also be helpful when you need time to think.

Do something creative

Solitude can be an excellent time to work on creative pursuits with no outside influences or judgments. If you don’t have a project in mind, you could always doodle, brainstorm, or try free-form writing to see where your mind takes you.

Meditate

When you’re trying to calm your mind after stressful social interactions, meditation can be a valuable tool. Studies suggest that regular meditation practice may also improve your well-being.

Get some exercise

Making time to get your body moving, even with simple activities like long walks, can support your physical and mental health in a surprising number of ways. 

Therapy can help with loneliness

If you’re feeling lonely and having difficulty making connections with others, getting support from a counselor may be a good idea. Therapy can provide significant relief from the negative feelings and mental health difficulties that often come with social isolation. It may also help you develop your interpersonal skills, build better social habits, and increase your engagement with others. 

Benefits of online therapy for lonely people

Not everyone finds it easy to access therapy. If difficulties like social anxiety or physical disabilities are contributing to your sense of loneliness, they may also make it hard to locate a provider in your area. Online therapy can be an excellent alternative, enabling you to connect with a licensed mental health professional over the internet. 

Effectiveness of online therapy for loneliness

Getting therapy over the internet to feel less lonely might sound strange. However, there’s a considerable amount of evidence backing up the effectiveness of online mental health care. Clinical trials have found that online therapy can be an effective intervention for persistent loneliness, especially when using methods based on cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).