Understanding And Overcoming Misogyny

Misogyny is defined as the dislike, contempt, or hatred of women. It can take many shapes in the modern, Western world, including privilege, gender discrimination, violence against women, sexual harassment and objectification. Misogyny is a potentially harmful mindset that can affect relationships and social interactions.

Here, we’ll explore what misogyny is and what may cause it, and offer some supportive strategies for transformational change. With a nuanced understanding of misogyny, it may be possible to foster healthy relationships and help contribute to the progress of society as a whole.

Sexism vs. misogyny

While sexism and misogyny are often used interchangeably, the two terms are somewhat different. Sexism typically refers to beliefs about the fundamental nature of men and women’s social roles based on one’s own cultural and personal convictions. Other experiences and frames of reference (such as family- or religious-based references) may have a role in forming this belief. 

Misogyny, on the other hand, is the idea that women are inferior because of their sex. Those who follow this belief system may choose to use threats, force or other means to ensure that their beliefs are upheld. Many consider misogynistic views to be a form of sexism.

How does misogyny develop?

Culture and belief systems are considered to be driving forces behind misogyny, sexism, and gender roles. Examples of misogyny can be found throughout history across various cultures and contexts. Even Pandora, the first woman in Ancient Greek Mythology, is referred to as an “evil thing”.

However, this influence stands alone from other possible contributing factors to misogyny and related attitudes. 

• Upbringing: Misogyny can be passed down from generation to generation. These beliefs can develop and be reinforced in families where traditional gender roles are strictly adhered to, and where there is a lack of respect for women's autonomy and equality.
• Media: How women are portrayed in the media can significantly influence misogynistic attitudes. For example, when female characters are depicted as bossy, “catty,” or quick to betray, negative ideas about women can be reinforced and may lead to cognitive biases or patterns in thinking in some. 
• Social media: The current “online environment” can be potentially harmful. Men who have experienced difficulties with dating and relationships, for example, can find communities that may exacerbate negative feelings, leading to the reinforcement of misogynistic attitudes and behaviors.

We do want to reiterate: No matter how many potential sources of fuel there are for misogyny in our daily lived experiences that foster stereotypes against women, therapy and community support can be powerful tools to help individuals truly stepping into their identity and finding success exactly where they are — no matter what that looks like for them.

Typical misogynistic behaviors

Understanding possible ranges of misogynistic behaviors can help others to avoid them in the future. We’ve listed possible indications of misogynistic behaviors below: 

• Catcalling and objectifying women or those who identify as women
• Showing preferential treatment to men or other genders/orientations over women
• Displaying a general lack of respect for a woman’s time and effort in her respective experience
• Interrupting, speaking over, or ignoring a woman purposefully
• Rejecting ideas from women
• Displaying a refusal to promote female employees based on their gender or sexual orientation
• Punishing women for calling attention to discrimination as it arises 

Improving relationships by recognizing misogynistic behavior

Misogynistic behavior can vary and may be intensely personal and unique. This list includes examples and isn’t generally comprehensive, instead acting instead as a guide for some to recognize possible signs of misogyny. This can help promote healthier lives and relationships in the modern-day cultural context. 

Can women be misogynists?

While misogyny is most commonly perpetrated by men, it is possible for women and other genders to be misogynists.

Women who repeatedly observe the media depictions and societal beliefs about misogyny, see it in action and experience the devaluation of women's skills may eventually internalize those beliefs — possibly applying them to themselves and other women and defining women, in their minds, as inferior. 

Understanding internalized misogyny and the roots of hatred

This phenomenon is known as internalized misogyny, which is a facet of internalized sexism. Examples of internalized misogyny can include:

• Mistrust of other women
• Believing in gender biases
• Minimizing the value of women
• Reflecting misogynistic attitudes

By recognizing these examples, individuals can begin to address the underlying hatred that fuels internalized misogyny and work towards a healthier perception of gender equality.

Misogyny’s effects on women, minorities, and the LGBTQIA+ community

Minorities, trans people, members of the LGBTQIA+ community, and others sometimes experience discrimination or oppression unrelated to their gender. So when minorities or members of the LGBTQIA+ community are also women or identify as women, the misogyny they may face could be more extreme.

The role of men in the intersection of misogyny and racism

The misogyny that black women experience, for example, may be more drastic than what her white counterpart might face due to the added layer of racism or ideas of white supremacy. 

This same logic applies to lesbians, trans women, transfeminine people, or other members of the LGBTQIA+ community who identify as women or present feminine qualities. Women with several minority demographics, such as black trans women, are at risk of even more discrimination in their lives.

How does misogyny impact mental health?

Misogyny can affect mental health and well-being. A statement from the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (CAMFT) has suggested that misogyny and sexism can leave a lasting impact on the women who experience them, which may contribute to poorer mental health and well-being. 

The impact of misogyny on mental health and well-being

Women who experienced discrimination based on gender were also noted to have an increased risk of developing mental health conditions such as depression, lower life satisfaction, decreased cognitive function, psychological distress and an overall poorer self-rated health. 

A 2018 study reviewing the implications of online misogyny suggested that problems on the internet don’t always stay there, as 41% of women experiencing online abuse or harassment said they felt physically unsafe on at least one occasion. 

Understanding the impact of misogyny on mental health can promote healthier and more inclusive thought patterns in most and may promote a higher overall quality of life for all people of society across the gender and orientation spectrum.

Overcoming misogynistic thought patterns

There are many ways to overcome those thought patterns and develop healthier relationships with the women in one’s life. Working with a therapist can help identify the possible causes behind misogynistic ideas, possibly helping you to replace them with more positive and constructive attitudes. 

It is possible for many to achieve a perspective shift and move away from harmful, misogynistic thoughts and words about women in favor of a more balanced, healthy outlook. 

Tips for men to work against misogyny

Calling out misogyny can be a helpful way to support women and encourage more supportive attitudes within the public. Here are ways that advocates and supporters can discourage misogyny when possible. 

• Call it out when you see it. Ignoring the behavior or implying it is acceptable can lead to a realignment of standards, which may not be constructive or healthy. Additionally, calling it out could make targeted women feel safer.
• Actively listen to ideas. This includes opinions and perspectives of the women around you. 
• Support diverse female leaders. This can include those who are in positions of political power. You can support them when you agree with their politics and policies or when you don’t. 
• Reflect on the power and privilege you inherently have. Many people may not realize their cultural privilege, especially when they are a man in a world of male dominance.
• Attempt to see situations from a woman’s perspective to better understand how they may be affected. This can promote more well-rounded perspectives in society overall. 
• Take on your share of housework and childcare duties. Consider being mindful of the media you allow your children to consume. 
• Credit your female coworkers for their ideas and hard work. This can go a long way toward shifting cultural narratives.
• Persistently advocate for policies that support people who identify as women. This can create transformational change for the incoming generation.

Handling misogynistic behavior

Knowing how to deal with misogyny can be hard when you encounter it yourself. Perhaps someone made an inappropriate comment at work, or you were catcalled on your lunch break. You can try to combat it using some of the following options: 

• Call it out when you see it. Consider avoiding the temptation to ignore the behavior or imply it is acceptable, as this can compromise the experiences of others. 
• Practice self-care. This can help you to find healthy coping mechanisms to handle stress. 
• Report misogyny and sexism when it occurs. This can promote a higher quality of life for other people.
• Create and support safe spaces for women. For many, the first step to doing this is educating yourself about the damage internalized misogyny can do to your mental state and making efforts to support other women actively. 
• Remove yourself from the situation. Setting healthy boundaries can be helpful, but sometimes, the most effective solution is to leave and hold space for your experience and the experiences of others. 
• Speak to a therapist. If misogyny is causing harmful effects in your life, you might consider therapy as a method to develop coping skills for dealing with misogynistic behavior and reinforce healthy attitudes. 

How online therapy can help you build healthier attitudes

Therapy can help you identify harmful thought patterns and work to replace them with healthier mindsets. Many people prefer online therapy due to its lower cost, reduced waiting times and flexibility. Virtual therapy platforms like BetterHelp can offer appointments via phone, video call or online chat.

Effectiveness of online cognitive behavioral therapy

Online cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) has been clinically suggested to successfully treat a variety of unhealthy habits, beliefs and attitudes. Recent studies show that online CBT treatments can be just as effective as sessions in the traditional clinical setting and often more so for people who may be more comfortable in the virtual environment.