Couples Counseling Over Skype: Does Online Marriage Counseling Actually Work?

If you have decided that you would like help with your relationship, one of the next questions is where to find it. You and your partner can get help in person or online, and the rise of telemedicine has made it more common and straightforward to work with a marriage counselor through videoconferencing. But does meeting with a counselor in this way actually work? Why would you get couples counseling through Skype, Zoom, or another online platform instead of attending in person?

There are a variety of reasons, but for starters, many couples may find that online marriage counseling feels more convenient than in-person sessions, since you can attend a counseling session without leaving your house. Online counseling can also open up a wider pool of potential therapists, which may increase the odds of finding one whose expertise matches your needs and who feels like a good fit. Many couples may also find that virtual therapy makes them feel more empowered and comfortable. In this article, we’ll explore the benefits and drawbacks of online couples counseling, as well as what the research has to say regarding its effectiveness.

Does virtual marriage counseling actually work?

Some people may feel skeptical about the idea of working on their relationship over a video call, and this can be understandable. After all, couples therapy is a deeply personal process, and some people may be unsure if meeting online would feel suitable for such a vulnerable process.  

This kind of skepticism can be common. Research has found that different people can have very different expectations regarding online therapy—some may feel optimistic and excited about the process, while others may have reservations about their ability to connect with their therapist. These individuals may worry that the relationship would be “more impersonal”. But this study found that “many patients were surprised at the quality of the relationship they had been able to develop online”. After receiving online therapy, many of those individuals who had initial doubts found that the format of online therapy actually made it feel easier to talk openly with their therapist. 

Researchers have also demonstrated the effectiveness of online couples therapy. One such study examined the efficacy of a couples therapy program conducted through videoconferencing as compared to face-to-face, and it found that the two forms of therapy delivered equivalent results. 

Why choose online couples counseling?

Even if online couples counseling can be effective, why might someone choose to go this route as opposed to in-person counseling? Different people may have different preferences when it comes to therapy, but below are some potential advantages of online couples counseling to consider:

No commute required

Many people may choose virtual therapy because they’re busy enough already, and traveling to a therapist’s office once a week may be too much of an added time commitment. Online counseling allows you to attend therapy sessions wherever you have internet, including from home, so there’s no need for a commute. 

When both partners need to find time in their busy schedules for counseling, the fact that there’s no additional time spent commuting can be a big advantage of online therapy. Plus, attending therapy in familiar surroundings may feel more comfortable for some people. 

Geography isn’t an issue

Finding a licensed couples counselor can be a lot of work, even for couples who live in urban areas with lots of practicing mental health professionals. If you’re located in a more remote area with fewer local services, it can seem almost impossible. With online couples therapy, this barrier is removed. You can connect with a trained and certified counselor without the limitations of geography.

This can also be a useful benefit for long-distance couples, or situations in which one or both partners must travel frequently for work. Many online therapy services enable participants to connect from different locations. That means you may not have to put your relationship efforts on hold just because one of you is out of town.

Choosing the right therapist can be easier

The fact that you’re not limited to treatment providers in your area can also mean you have more choices. Online couples counseling platforms may have networks of hundreds or even thousands of licensed marriage and family therapists. This can make it much more likely that you’ll be able to find one with the right combination of education, experience, and expertise for you.

In addition, some online therapy platforms, such as BetterHelp, make it easy to switch therapists if you feel that the one you meet with initially is not the best fit. Online therapy allows you to switch therapists simply without the hassle of going back to the drawing board to find someone new on your own. 

You may feel more comfortable with virtual therapy

We mentioned earlier that before starting therapy, some couples think online therapy will feel awkward and unnatural. In fact, research has found the opposite is often true.

This could make your relationship therapy more effective. Researchers have shown that the development of a strong therapeutic alliance can be an important factor in achieving positive outcomes from mental health treatment. If it feels easier for you to develop a rapport with your therapist through online sessions, they may be better able to help you and your partner forge a healthier relationship.

Are there any downsides to online couples therapy?

Though there can be significant advantages to online couples therapy, there can also be a few drawbacks. The first is the limitations of the technology itself. Though videoconferencing has been getting better and better, depending on the situation and the quality of technology used, your therapist still might miss some nuances of your expression, body language, and so on. Also, there’s always a chance that a session could be interrupted by connection issues or service outages, which could be frustrating. In addition, some people may not have reliable internet or a suitable device, and some may also not feel adept at using technology or digital tools.

There are also certain concerns that may need to be addressed through in-person care. For example, while it’s fairly straightforward to speak to a licensed marriage and family therapist online if you have a serious mental illness that requires medication, online therapy may not be sufficient. If serious mental health difficulties are playing a role in your relationship troubles, it could be a good idea to work with a doctor in person in addition to getting online help.

Getting started with online counseling 

Many couples delay therapy for years, which can allow their marital challenges to get significantly worse in the meantime. 

Starting therapy can be intimidating, so this is understandable, but if this is something you’re feeling, online therapy could help. With online therapy, you can match with and meet with a licensed therapist wherever you have an internet connection, which may feel easier for some couples. 

Plus, once you make the choice to start counseling, there is a strong chance it can help your relationship: research shows that couples therapy positively impacts 70% of couples receiving treatment, and as mentioned earlier, it seems to work just as well online as it does in person.