Ways To Cope With Emotional Pain
Life can often feel like a constant balancing act between highs and lows. For many of us, physical or mental pain can be inevitable, but it may be the way we respond to and manage that pain that can help us continue to thrive. Engaging in healthy distractions, making peace with your pain, and reaching out for help from your support system can all be beneficial. You may also find it helpful to work with a licensed therapist who can aid you in finding the coping strategies that work best for you.
Human psychology has a tendency to lend extra weight to the lowest of lows, which can make it easy to feel like the scale is always tipping in favor of the harshest aspects of life. For many, learning to acknowledge and cope with pain can be a life-long journey. Of course, that’s often easier said than done. Many researchers believe that we hold onto our painful or traumatic memories as part of our mental defense mechanisms. In other words, these memories might function as a survival tool against an uncertain future, a reminder of what to be prepared for.
However, in the short term, those memories and experiences often feel more like a burden than a benefit. Learning that our painful life experiences are often something we can have some control over may be a skill that is vital to maintaining strong mental health. Here, we’ll look at why mental pain can trick us into feeling it’s inevitable, how to address those feelings, and how to find the help you need.
Emotional pain can be just as bad as physical pain
Even as our society moves toward accepting the legitimacy of mental anguish, there may still be elements of society that might claim that mental health conditions aren’t “real” in the same way a physical injury is “real”. However, recent studies show that emotional pain can be as painful or even more painful than physical pain.
It can be important to remind others (and ourselves) that just because something is “in your head” doesn’t mean it’s fake or unimportant.
In addition, there can be a wealth of evidence regarding the physical side effects of mental health conditions. Our mental health and emotions tend to emerge as physical symptoms. For example, research has proven broken heart syndrome to be a real and very serious condition created by acute grief, stress, or fear that can weaken the strength of the patient’s heart muscle.
Similarly, neuroscientists have discovered significant overlaps in how our brains respond to both emotional and physical pain, meaning that, in some ways, they may be much more closely related than many people believe.
Anyone coping with serious physical pain, maybe due to an injury or chronic condition, will likely need to manage their mental health recovery, even as they improve their physical condition.
Finding your coping mechanisms
There may not be a catch-all solution to coping with pain, but there may be many options to try. Here are some coping mechanisms you may try during the times when the pain feels like it’s too much:
Make peace with your pain
Find healthy distractions
For some people, the best short-term answer to coping with pain may be distraction. It can be incredibly therapeutic to completely lose yourself in something—a book, a song, an activity, or an exercise, to name a few—that can take you away from your problems, even just for a little while. That minor distancing effect can create the sense of clarity and motivation needed to work against your pain. However, it can be important to underline the difference between healthy and unhealthy distractions. Some may feel pulled towards various forms of self-medication, which tend to create more long-term problems. Still, there is generally no shortage of healthy distractions in the world, so we encourage you to find the one that works best for you!
Ask for help
Last but far from least, it can be important to acknowledge that no one should have to deal with their pain alone. For people experiencing emotional pain, it may feel better to hide your feelings from others with a smile or a joke, but that type of avoidance may only cause problems to fester beneath the surface. If you feel like you can’t continue bearing your pain alone, please consider turning to friends or family for guidance—and if you are ready, there is no shame in seeking out help from a therapist.
Seeking professional help
Whether you’re coping with the pain of a physical injury, the loss of a loved one, or a breakup, there may be many therapists who are trained and willing to help you find the strategies that work for you. If in-person therapy seems too difficult to manage, online therapy sessions with a licensed mental health professional can help through cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), mindfulness practices, and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). Online therapy is often more convenient and affordable than traditional in-office therapy. Please don’t hesitate to reach out and get the help you deserve.
Takeaway
What does emotional pain feel like?
Emotional pain refers to physical pain, discomfort, or hurt that does not originate from a physical source. You might experience emotional distress from things like breakups, existential thinking, sadness, depression, anxiety, or shame.
This emotional pain can manifest in many ways, but some people describe it as:
Heartache
Gastrointestinal distress
The exacerbation of chronic pain symptoms
Migraines
Muscle pain
Difficulty concentrating
Racing heartbeat
Anxiety, fear, or shock
Feeling numb or disconnected
Fatigue
A pit in your stomach
A deep feeling of distress, suffering, worthlessness, or emptiness
fMRI studies have confirmed that psychological pain is real pain, activating areas of the brain associated with physical pain responses (especially the cingulate cortex).
How to heal emotional pain from the past?
Here are some strategies to help you heal emotional pain:
Relaxation strategies: Mindfulness, meditation, yoga, stretching, deep breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, gentle walking, or a warm bath can help you calm your mind and stay more present.
Stay active: Getting 30 minutes of physical activity per day—such as walking, jogging, swimming, dancing, rock climbing, or cycling—can improve symptoms and reduce pain.
Challenge negative thoughts: Automatic thoughts are often inaccurate, and cognitive behavioral therapists say that they can impact your emotions and behaviors.
Stay connected: It’s common for people to withdraw from others during periods of emotional pain, but isolation can make symptoms worse. Connecting with friends and family, participating in activities, volunteering, joining a support group, and asking loved ones for help can be important in helping you heal.
Get professional help: Working with a talk therapist can help you process emotional pain and develop healthy coping skills.
By implementing some of these strategies, many people find that they’re better able to manage emotional pain, with symptoms eventually becoming less severe or going away entirely. If your symptoms persist, it’s a good idea to work with a licensed mental health professional and/or medical practitioner.
How do you stop feeling emotional?
Some emotional regulation tools can help you manage your feelings without suppressing, invalidating, or ignoring them:
Express how you feel
Challenge automatic thoughts
Practice body awareness
Use deep breathing exercises when you’re overwhelmed by emotions
Accept the validity of your feelings
Use mood journaling to track your emotions
Recognize when you’re overwhelmed and need to get some space
Get routine exercise
Spend time outdoors
Problem-solve
Talk with a licensed therapist
When you view your emotions as cues, they can help you identify areas of concern, make decisions, and practice self-care.
How to deal with someone who hurts you emotionally?
If someone hurts you emotionally, there are several actions you can take:
Consider the nature of your relationship with them
Set boundaries (and enforce them)
Talk to them about it
Practice empathy
Join a support group
Reduce your interactions with them
Journal about it
Consider forbearance (put up with the emotional pain for the benefit of the relationship)
If someone hurts you, it’ll be up to you to decide if reconciliation is worth it.
What is the most painful emotion?
The severity of emotions is subjective and differs on a case-by-case basis, but some that can cause significant emotional pain include:
Grief
Heartache
Shame or guilt
Loneliness
Sadness
Disappointment or feeling like a failure
Embarrassment
Intense negative emotions can be difficult to cope with on your own. Certain types of therapy, like dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), are specially adapted to help accept emotions and develop skills to regulate them.
How do you stop emotional pain?
You can’t necessarily stop emotional pain, but you can manage it. Here are some strategies:
Practice healthy coping skills, like journaling, meditating, or deep breathing when you’re feeling overwhelmed
Assess your automatic thoughts and consider whether they’re accurate
Label your emotions and describe how you feel
Join a support group
Incorporate healthy habits, like consuming a nutritious diet, getting outside each day, staying active, and developing a bedtime routine
If you’re experiencing emotional pain that’s interfering with your ability to accomplish daily tasks, causes significant distress, or impacts your relationships, it may be helpful to work with a licensed therapist.
What are three warning signs of emotional distress?
Some signs of emotional distress identified by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA):
Significant changes in eating habits or hunger
Crying
Angry outbursts
Isolating from friends and family
Exhaustion
Migraines or temporomandibular (TMJ)
Muscle tension
Feeling hopeless or worthless
Using unhealthy coping strategies, like smoking or drinking
Why am I in so much pain emotionally?
Intense emotional pain can arise from many things, such as grief, heartbreak, trauma, or loss. Mental disorders, like major depressive disorder and social anxiety, can also cause distressing emotional pain that may interfere with daily functioning and well-being.
How long does emotional pain last?
It’s not possible to predict how long emotional pain will last. Symptoms may improve within days, weeks, months, or years.
In some cases, prolonged symptoms of distress may indicate a mental disorder that can be difficult to address without professional help. For example, if severe symptoms of grief persist a year or longer after the loss of a loved one, individuals may be diagnosed with prolonged grief disorder.
What is the hardest emotion to deal with?
Some emotions that can be difficult to cope with include grief, guilt, shame, anxiety, fear, loneliness, jealousy, hopelessness, and insecurity. Even emotions that are typically considered positive—like excitement—can become overwhelming.
- Previous Article
- Next Article