Spotting The Signs: How To Easily Identify A Potential Pathological Liar's Deception
Pathological lying is more than just being dishonest from time to time. Instead, it involves an individual's persistent habit of deceiving others—but usually without a clear motivation for doing so. Despite its potentially harmful effects, pathological liars may not be fully aware of its impact on themselves and those around them. That's why learning to recognize this tendency in yourself or others can help you know what type of support it may be useful to pursue. Let’s explore how to recognize a pathological or compulsive liar, learn what may cause this tendency, and find out how to handle it.
Understanding pathological lying
Pathological lying, sometimes referred to as mythomania or pseudologia fantastica, is a behavior characterized by the chronic and compulsive telling of lies. Unlike occasional lying that most people might engage in to avoid discomfort or consequences, pathological lying is characterized by its pervasiveness, as well as the often unnecessary nature of the falsehoods.
Pathological or compulsive liars may lie frequently and excessively and may have difficulty distinguishing between reality and what they’ve invented. They may or may not understand the consequences of their behavior, believing in some cases that they are telling “white lies.” They may have trouble sticking to the truth—even if it becomes clear that their lies might be causing harm to themselves or others. While lying in and of itself is a common human behavior, it’s typically done for a reason—such as to avoid social embarrassment or upset. When a person lies frequently and for no obvious reason, it’s likely to be characterized as pathological.
Pathological lying may exist alongside other mental health issues and conditions like factitious disorder or narcissistic personality disorder. In the case of narcissistic personality disorder, a person’s inflated sense of self-importance is bolstered by their compulsive lying.
While less common, pathological lying can also play a part in borderline personality disorder (BPD). In those cases, people experiencing BPD may lie in order to manipulate others, many times due to impulsivity or a fear of abandonment.
Recognizing pathological lying
While lying in and of itself is a common human behavior, it’s typically done for a reason—such as to avoid social embarrassment or upset. When a person lies frequently and for no obvious reason, it’s likely to be characterized as pathological. There are numerous signs of pathological lying, though each case can be different. Someone who engages in pathological lying will typically exhibit some or all of the following traits or tendencies:
- Telling frequent and exaggerated lies: People with this tendency may be a habitual liar and engage in deception excessively, and their lies are likely to be elaborate and complicated.
- Rationalizing lies: It’s common for those with this tendency to try and justify their own lies, even in the face of proof to the contrary. They may also make excuses or manipulate the facts to maintain their false stories.
- Portraying themselves in a positive light: In the lies they create, they’re likely to portray themselves as the victim or the hero rather than anyone who was ever at fault. Pathological liars lie for many reasons and may do so to garner sympathy or praise.
- Lacking remorse: Someone who engages in pathological lying may not feel sorry or remorseful for habitual lying. They may be confident in their lies, even when they’re obviously not true.
- Changing their story or defensiveness: When people lie and they are confronted with evidence that contradicts those lies, they may change their story or deny the truth altogether. They may also try to manipulate others to maintain their false story.
- Blaming others for their lies: They may try to deflect blame or shift responsibility onto others. They may also try to deceive others to avoid being caught or held accountable for their behavior. In other cases, they may blame others in order to maintain the false sense that their excessive lying behavior will never be identified.
What causes pathological lying?
The cause of pathological lying behaviors can vary and may be influenced by a combination of genetic, neurological, environmental, and psychological factors. That said, there are a few key elements that are thought to play a role in the development of this trait.
Mental health disorders
Pathological lying can be a feature of mental health disorders, particularly personality disorders such as antisocial personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, and narcissistic personality disorder. People with these conditions may lie compulsively as part of a broader pattern of manipulation, impulsivity, and a disregard for the truth.
Pathological lying can also be associated with other mental health issues, including anxiety disorders and depression, where lies may serve as a coping mechanism to deal with stress, insecurity, or low self-esteem.
Biological factors
There may be a biological basis for pathological lying behavior. Some studies have noted specific brain abnormalities in pathological liars,e, while some of the common psychological disorders associated with pathological lying may have a genetic component.
Trauma or abuse
Experiencing trauma or abuse may increase the risk of the development of pathological lying tendencies. People who have been through these types of life experiences may be telling lies as a coping mechanism to avoid facing difficult emotions or situations.
What to do when a loved one exhibits pathological lying behaviors
However, it’s also important to defend yourself and your own mental well-being. Being in any kind of relationship with someone with this tendency can be deeply frustrating since there’s typically no obvious reason for the lies—and because the frequent dishonesty can make it difficult or even impossible for real trust or intimacy to be established. Here are some tips for navigating the situation:
Seek understanding: Approach the situation with empathy, understanding that their behaviors may be an unhealthy coping mechanism for past trauma or an undiagnosed mental health disorder.
Express concerns gently: Approach your loved one with empathy and concern rather than accusation or anger. Use "I" statements to express how their behavior affects you and your relationship.
Support them: You might encourage them to be themselves around you, reminding them that they don’t need to lie to impress you. If you notice them beginning to tell a lie, it may be helpful to avoid engaging at all.
Encourage them to seek support: While you can offer emotional support and understanding, a mental health professional can provide the necessary expertise to diagnose and treat any underlying issues.
Avoid confrontation: When engaging with a person that is displaying a compulsive pattern of lying, remember that they’re unlikely to admit to their lies when confronted. Avoid direct confrontations, as they may lead to defensive or more deceptive behavior. Instead, focus on constructive conversations and solutions.
Set boundaries: If their behaviors begin to negatively impact you, setting firm, healthy boundaries in regard to how much you’ll engage with them can be a good way to defend yourself. Clearly communicate your boundaries, letting them know what behaviors are unacceptable and the consequences of continued dishonesty.
Mental health support for pathological liars
Because pathological lying can be a symptom of an underlying personality disorder, past trauma, or insecurity, this behavior typically warrants the intervention of a mental health professional. A therapist can help a person understand the root causes of their lying, address any underlying mental health issues, and develop strategies for more honest communication.
Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), for instance, can help in identifying and changing the thought patterns that lead to compulsive lying. Additionally, therapy can provide tools for building self-esteem and improving interpersonal skills, which are often compromised by pathological lying. CBT has been found effective for treating a range of mental health disorders, while Dialectic Behavioral Therapy (DBT) may be appropriate for those living with a personality disorder.
For those seeking mental health support for pathological lying, online therapy may be a worthwhile consideration. It provides a convenient, less intimidating way to get mental health support, ensuring freedom and flexibility. Online therapy platforms like BetterHelp have been found to be just as effective as traditional face-to-face therapy, and offer a few advantages, including daily messaging with your therapist, counselor-led support groups, and integrated therapy homework and journaling.
Takeaway
What's the difference between a compulsive liar and a pathological liar?
The terms “pathological” and “compulsive” are often interchanged when used to describe a pattern of lying, and the two behaviors might sometimes overlap. There is no official clinical diagnosis for either. However, there may be clues to the difference in the names.
The American Psychological Association (APA) defines a compulsion as “a type of behavior or a mental act engaged to reduce anxiety or distress.” Therefore, a compulsive liar can be characterized as an individual who lies to reduce anxiety or psychological distress. The APA defines pathology as “any departure from what is considered healthy or adaptive.” A pathological liar’s motivations may vary, but studies reveal that pathological lying typically causes “greater distress, impaired functioning, and more danger in daily life.”
People lie for many reasons, but there are fundamental differences between the behaviors, motivations, and underlying causes of compulsive vs pathological lying. Here are some examples:
Compulsive vs pathological lying behaviors
Compulsive liars more typically lie out of habit or familiarity. Compulsive lying can be “automatic” and is often done without apparent reason or benefit. Compulsive lies are usually harmless, or at least aren’t intended to be harmful. “Psuedologia Fantastica” is another type of compulsive lying in which the individual may tell complex, detailed, and grandiose lies that, while quite untrue, aren’t typically manipulating or self-serving.
On the other hand, pathological liars might lie more frequently with a clear intent to manipulate or deceive. Pathological lies are often more elaborate and detailed, designed to create false beliefs or reality for others. Unlike compulsive liars, pathological liars might have a clear goal, such as gaining sympathy, admiration, or some other advantage.
Compulsive vs pathological lying motivation
Compulsive liars might lie to avoid uncomfortable situations, gain attention, or simply because it’s a habit. The lying is more about compulsion rather than intent to deceive or manipulate. Pathological liars, however, lie in a more deliberate, calculated way. The lies are often grandiose and created to control a situation, manipulate others, or achieve personal gain.
Underlying causes for compulsive vs pathological lying
Compulsive lying can be linked to low self-esteem, and it may come from a desire to avoid reality but isn’t necessarily associated with a more severe mental disorder. Pathological lying is often associated with more serious psychological conditions like narcissistic or antisocial personality disorder. It can be a symptom of a deeper psychological issue, and the individual might have little to no remorse for their lies if they harm other people.
What makes a person a pathological liar?
Pathological lying isn’t yet a diagnostic entity on its own. Still, research on the behavior defines it as a pattern of excessive lying for six months or longer, causing marked distress and an impairment in functioning for the individual. It’s believed that a person becomes a pathological liar due to a complex combination of psychological, environmental, and possibly biological factors. Here are some potential causes:
Mental health issues
People with personality disorders like antisocial personality disorder (ASPD), narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), and borderline personality disorder (BPD) often exhibit lying behaviors for many reasons. For example, some may lie pathologically to manipulate, deceive, or exploit others. They might lie to inflate their sense of self-importance, gain admiration, or maintain an idealized self-image. People with BPD might lie pathologically as a way to avoid abandonment, preserve relationships, or as a reaction to emotional instability.
Factitious disorder, sometimes referred to as Munchausen’s syndrome, is a mental illness in which an individual pretends to be sick when they aren’t. Munchausen’s syndrome by proxy is when an individual likes about someone else having a mental or physical illness. While its causes are unknown, it is a disorder whose primary symptom is pathological deception.
Early childhood experiences
Research on the potential link between trauma and lying behaviors is ongoing, but early experiences of neglect, abuse, or inconsistent parenting might lead to the development of pathological lying as a coping mechanism for some people. For example, lying might be used to avoid punishment or to gain attention in a neglectful environment. Growing up in an environment where lying is common or even rewarded can teach a person that dishonesty is an effective way to achieve goals or avoid adverse outcomes.
Low self-esteem and self-control
Pathological liars may struggle with feelings of inadequacy or insecurity, leading them to create elaborate lies to appear more successful, confident, or interesting than they feel. Some people may lie pathologically due to a lack of control over their impulses. They may not thoroughly think through the consequences of their lies and may lie impulsively in a way that serves their immediate needs.
Neurological conditions
Older research suggests there may be a connection between abnormalities in some regions of the brain and pathological lying. Studies also indicate there’s a potential relationship between oxytocin levels and compulsive and pathological lying. There are several possible causes for such neurological conditions, including traumatic brain injury and neurological disease. If you or someone you love has begun lying uncharacteristically, and you suspect the source might be neurological, seek medical advice from a professional.
Cultural and social influences:
While the proverbial “white lie” is commonly accepted in most cultures as normal behavior, in environments where success, power, or wealth are highly valued, individuals might resort to pathological lying to meet these societal expectations. Exposure to media that glamorizes deception or portrays lying as a means to an end can reinforce the idea that lying is acceptable or even necessary in certain situations.
Can a pathological liar love someone?
It is possible for a pathological liar to love someone; however, lying can cause severe problems in relationships that harm all parties involved. Additionally, pathological lying is often a sign of a more significant, more serious underlying issue, such as a personality disorder that might challenge an individual’s ability to love selflessly.
Can a pathological liar stop lying?
It is possible for a pathological liar to stop lying and start telling the truth. However, their lying is typically a symptom of a more serious mental health issue that must be addressed first. Unless the underlying causes for pathological lying behavior are uncovered, the behavior will unlikely stop.
Which is worse, compulsive or pathological liar?
While there is no conclusive evidence to prove one is worse than the other, pathological lying is often considered to be more hurtful because it involves knowingly manipulating others to achieve personal gain. Compulsive lying, however, isn’t typically malicious and might serve to alleviate fear or anxiety in the compulsive liar.
Are pathological liars intelligent?
Despite some perceptions that one must be intelligent to be an adept liar, research reveals little to no connection between the two. Until more studies are done on the topic, scientists have found so far that intelligent people are not necessarily better liars, and people who lie are not necessarily more intelligent.
How do you handle a pathological liar?
“Handling” a pathological liar can mean different things depending on your intent. It’s important to stay cognizant that people with mental disorders in which pathological lying is a symptom may react in various ways when confronted. Also, understand that you might not be able to change their behavior. Focus on managing your reactions and sageguarding yourself rather than trying to “catch” or “fix” them. Addressing a pathological liar’s behavior can be challenging, but there are some steps you may take to do so safely and effectively:
- Identify the pattern: Pathological liars
- often tell stories that bear inconsistencies over time. Pay attention to these discrepancies and take note of the apparent motives behind the lying. Are they trying to garner sympathy or gain attention? Are they trying to manipulate others into giving them things or doing favors?
- Set boundaries: Communicate your feelings clearly, let them know you value honesty, and make it clear that lying will damage your trust. If necessary, it might be wise to reduce the amount of information you share and avoid situations where they can exploit your trust.
- Validate information: Fact-check (politely) any important information they provide by subtly asking for details or checking into the information independently. Sometimes, asking specific questions can make a liar realize you’re aware of their dishonesty.
- Stay calm and empathetic: Confronting a pathological liar might lead to defensiveness and more lies. Understand that compulsive lying might stem from deeper issues like past trauma, low self-esteem, or anxiety.
- Safeguard yourself: If their lying is harming you or others, it might be necessary to distance yourself from the relationship. In cases where the lies may have serious consequences, keeping records of your interactions might be necessary.
Are pathological liars psychopaths?
Pathological liars and psychopaths are not the same, although there may be some overlap in behaviors. For example, both can be deceitful and manipulative, lying for personal gain. They may both have deep-seated self-esteem issues that cause pathological lying behaviors.
However, pathological liars may still have the capacity for empathy and remorse—traits less commonly found in psychopaths. They might have less propensity for risk-taking and impulsivity than psychopaths. Additionally, in some cases (but not all), psychopaths may come across as more charismatic and charming as they lie because it can help them better manipulate and control.
What personality type is a pathological liar?
Lying can be found across personality types and isn’t exclusive to any single personality. However, certain personality traits and disorders are more commonly associated with the behavior. For example, certain personality disorders are significantly associated with pathological lying, as are traits like low conscientiousness, high levels of neuroticism, and manipulative tendencies.
How do pathological liars react when caught?
How a pathological liar behaves when they are caught in a lie depends on the individual and the circumstances. For example, some people may react angrily or become defensive, while others might try to rationalize their lies or make excuses for them. They might double down on their stories or create new lies to reinfor
- Previous Article
- Next Article