Ways To Ask For Support & Mental Health Care When I Need Help
- For those experiencing suicidal thoughts, please contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988
- For those experiencing abuse, please contact the Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
- For those experiencing substance use, please contact SAMHSA National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357)
Many individuals have needed support at some point or another. It's often normal and healthy to have people you can go to during difficult times or moments of emotional distress. So what should you do if you’re having the thought, “I need help”? It can be tough to know how to ask for help. We may tell ourselves that we don't deserve it or can manage just fine on our own.
Others may have led us to believe that admitting we are in trouble or need help means we are weak. However, there can be power in admitting when you need help and acting on that recognition.
How to know when you need help
In general, you may need to ask for help when something in your daily life is affecting your ability to function. For example, you may struggle to attend work, parent your child, or maintain romantic and platonic relationships. You might also start to experience physical symptoms or problems with your mental health.
While you may choose to handle some issues alone, feeling overwhelmed or out of control may signal that you need support from another individual. Depending on your needs, this could be a friend, a family member, a doctor, a trained crisis counselor, or a mental health professional.
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Why can it feel so hard to ask for help
For many people, asking for help can feel difficult. However, support from another person can benefit psychological well-being, enhancing self-esteem and self-worth. When someone is genuinely interested in your well-being, a simple conversation during the day may go a long way.
Common reasons people hesitate
If you're experiencing denial, you might have difficulty asking for help because you feel that there are no problems. You may tell yourself everything is fine, even if you know that's not the case deep down. Denial can be a complex issue that may be worsened by sociocultural factors.
Stigmas can be social, cultural, societal, or systemic. Those living with mental health problems may be prone to experiencing stigma from friends, society, or even a family member or medical provider while they are seeking help.
You might feel that you shouldn't be struggling as badly as you are and avoid seeking help due to this thought. If others might have made you feel embarrassed or weak for needing support, shame can convince you to keep your problems to yourself. In these cases, you may feel that you’ll experience more shame from expressing these thoughts to someone else.
What changes when you reach out anyway
A trusted confidant or friend may provide you with comfort and ease during difficult moments. While you may not want to “burden” them, research suggests that acts of kindness increase well-being, so helpers can actually benefit from offering support.
When to seek immediate help
Various organizations offer immediate help if you’re feeling unsafe or at risk right now. Whether experiencing severe health symptoms, abuse, or other emergencies, these services provide access to trained mental health professionals.
Crisis support options available quickly
- Call 988, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline for immediate support
- Text the Crisis Text Line on 741741 to connect with a healthcare professional
- Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline by calling or texting 1-800-799-7233
- Find mental health resources via the NAMI Helpline on 1-800-950-6264
What confidential support can mean
To protect clients, mental health professionals must abide by the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act, which establishes standards for privacy and data security in healthcare.
What “confidential” usually means in mental health support
In mental health care, the term confidential is used when the information shared by a client is kept private. This information may include personal details, stories shared in sessions, forms of treatment, medical history, and any other sensitive records. Confidential support can only be broken if a healthcare professional suspects a patient is in danger, another person is in immediate danger, or there is a court order.
Ways to ask for help right now
You can ask for help in various ways. Whether approaching mental health professionals, friends, or colleagues, you may utilize different mediums such as text messages, email services, phone calls, or face-to-face conversations to seek support. To ask for immediate help, you can:
- Be direct and vulnerable: In private conversations, clearly communicate how you’re feeling to those around you.
- Set up a signal: Choose a word or phrase that lets someone know you need support without having to make it into a big thing.
- Gauge availability: Ask someone if they have time to get together for a chat, and see if they are willing to make time for you.
- Ask for small things: Request small, simple forms of support, such as a quick check-in or a lift to an event.
- Attend support groups: Listen, talk, and connect with people who have shared experiences to get mental health tips and advice, or join virtual groups online.
How to choose the right type of help
To choose the right type of support, it can be helpful to identify your needs. You may look for emotional support in the form of empathy and compassion, instrumental support such as shelter, food, or other tangible aid, informational support through guidance, or appraisal support that provides feedback and perspective to promote well-being. From peer support to therapy, each form of support offers different levels of help across these areas.
Peer support vs crisis support vs therapy
Peer support usually involves talking with friends, family members, and people who have experienced similar challenges. In addition to providing emotional support, peers can offer shared experiences, informational tips, and practical advice.
Crisis support is for those who need immediate help from trained professionals. Emotional support may be offered initially but then crisis services may provide tangible aid (such as food, shelter, and financial aid), professional guidance, and mental health evaluations.
Therapy and specialized care services may incorporate all four aspects of support, blending them according to your needs. Research on prenatal care suggests that these four aspects of support were used to facilitate relationships, promote learning, and improve well-being among pregnant women.
If you are not sure what you need yet
Seeking help in different areas may help you determine what you need, what works for you, and what doesn't. Talking with a trusted friend or loved one may be incredibly helpful for some issues, but tends to be a less unknown source of assistance.
For others, seeking a support group focused on specific issues (such as depression, an eating disorder, relationship troubles, or addiction) might offer a greater sense of understanding, belonging, and support.
Quick scripts for reaching out in difficult moments
When you want to ask someone for support or offer them a helpful hand, it can be difficult to approach the topic sensitively and compassionately. Some one-sentence conversation starters may help you navigate these situations
One-sentence starters
- “I’m finding [the topic, such as moving cities] quite difficult right now and could use a friend.” - reaching out to a friend
- “Can we talk about [the topic]? I could use some family support.” - reaching out to family members
- “Checking in. I’m here for you if you need anything.” - offering someone emotional support
- “I’m running into town if you need me to grab anything on my way.” – offering someone practical help
Acceptance during difficult moments
By accepting help, you may get started on the pathway toward healing. You can move toward acceptance by practicing vulnerability, expanding your support group, and allowing others to be there for you. You can also help others when possible, to get used to the idea of giving and receiving.
When acceptance comes, you may feel a burden lifted. While it can be scary to think about getting the help you need, this is often a vital step on your journey to a healthier life. If you're unsure how to prompt acceptance, consider trying acceptance exercises, like the radical acceptance skill from dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT).
Therapy for acceptance
Acceptance may be the antidote to various mental health symptoms. Research suggests that acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), a form of therapy focused on acceptance, can increase life satisfaction, reduce symptom severity, improve emotional regulation, and enhance cognitive flexibility. ACT fosters acceptance by encouraging individuals to embrace difficult thoughts and feelings. Also, this form of therapy may support help-seeking behavior.
Considering your options
Once you've come to terms with the need for help, you may choose to weigh your options and explore the resources available to you. There are several possibilities you might consider when it's time to ask for help:
- Reach out to a friend
- Confide in a family
- Talk with a mentor
- Talk with a religious advisor
- Turn to a support group
- Try a hotline (which may offer an incognito source of assistance)
- Find a helpful internet forum
- Seek the help of a mental health professional
- Look for viable treatment facilities
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Getting support through BetterHelp
Asking for help can feel challenging, but online platforms such as BetterHelp can match you with a mental health professional that suits your needs. You may benefit from connecting with a therapist online if you are facing barriers in your search to find treatment, such as location or cost. Online therapy allows you to call or text your therapist as the need arises. You can also contact them through video calls.
How online therapy can help you build coping skills over time
During online therapy sessions, you can build skills to cope with various mental health symptoms, including cognitive reframing to challenge unhelpful thoughts and mindfulness to promote acceptance. In a recent study, online therapy was found to be just as effective as in-person therapy for various mental health issues, including depression, anxiety, and PTSD. Each of these categories and ratings was compared to in-person counseling, with the latter's figures also included in the findings.
What to expect from a first session
A first therapy session is often focused on building rapport, discussing any symptoms and concerns, and setting goals for the future. Building a positive therapeutic relationship can be important to improve treatment outcomes. If you're ready to take the brave step of reaching out for help, you might consider an online therapy platform like BetterHelp. Regardless of your need, many counselors are available with expertise in a variety of topics.
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Takeaway
Recognizing when you need help may be the first step to overcoming denial, practicing acceptance, and considering and pursuing your options. From being direct and vulnerable to asking for small things, there are many ways to ask for help and various people who can support you, including friends, therapists, and support groups.
No matter what concern you're facing, help is available. Whether you confide in a friend, family, or licensed professional, telling someone about what you're going through takes courage and is often worth it.
How to deal with poor mental health?
Many people experience mental health problems from time to time. In addition to working with a licensed therapist or trained crisis counselor, it can help to practice some self-care:
- Get routine exercise, such as walking, jogging, yoga, or bodyweight exercises
- Eat nutritious food and maintain regular mealtimes
- Create a bedtime routine and prioritize getting seven to nine hours of sleep each night
- Find something you’re passionate about, such as a hobby or volunteer opportunity
- Call a loved one to share your feelings
- Avoid isolating yourself, and instead make more time to spend with friends and family
- Practice mindfulness and use it as a coping tool when you’re feeling overwhelmed
If you’re navigating a difficult period and want to talk to someone right away, you can always call or text a crisis text/hotline like the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988.
What are the five signs of emotional suffering?
By learning to recognize the five signs of emotional suffering, you can help someone who’s struggling even if they’re finding it difficult to reach out for help themselves:
- Personality changes: When people experience mental health problems, they often behave in ways that are unexpected or not in line with their beliefs.
- Uncharacteristic moodiness, anger, anxiety, or agitation: Signs like irritability, difficulty controlling emotions, or reacting out of proportion with the situation can be a symptom of a mental health crisis.
- Withdrawal/social isolation: One of the most common symptoms of mental health conditions like depression or bipolar disorder is self-isolation and withdrawing from family, friends, work, and/or school.
- They neglect their self-care or start engaging in risky behaviors: A common indicator that your friend or family member is experiencing emotional distress is disruptions to personal hygiene and self-care. For example, they may stop exercising, showering, or wearing clean clothes. Risky behaviors, like substance use, can also indicate emotional challenges.
- Hopelessness or overwhelming emotions: People experiencing a mental illness like depression may lose interest in activities they used to enjoy, adopt a hopeless or negative outlook on life, or make indications that they’re unhappy being alive.
With increased mental health awareness, you can better recognize when your friends and family members are going through a difficult time. Sharing mental health resources, like the Crisis Text Line, can help them get the support they need.
What should I do if I need help right now?
If you need immediate help, you can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline or text “Hello” to 741741 for the Crisis Text Line. These services can provide you with attentive, immediate, and confidential support.
Is there anyone I can talk to for free?
Yes, services like the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (calling 988) or the Crisis Text Line (texting 741741) offer free care. Alternatively, you can access free help through platforms like 7 Cups, where trained emotional support volunteers can offer advice and a listening ear.
Who can I call if I just need to talk to someone?
You can reach out to trusted friends and family members to talk through issues and challenges in daily life. Also, you may engage in therapy, where a trained professional can offer guidance, or reflect with a trained emotional support volunteer via platforms like 7 Cups cups.
What are 5 signs of poor mental wellbeing?
There can be many signs of poor mental well-being, but 5 core signs include:
- Persistent sadness and mood swings
- Disruptions in sleep and appetite
- An inability to perform everyday tasks at home and work
- Withdrawal from social life and activities that would usually bring you joy
- Cognitive challenges, such as with memory and concentration
What is the 3-3-3 anxiety rule?
The 3-3-3 anxiety rule is a grounding technique, often taught during therapy, to redirect your attention to the present moment and stay in tune with your senses. This rule focuses on paying attention to 3 things you see and hear, as well as 3 moving parts of your body.
What are 5 early warning signs of mental illness?
5 early warning signs of mental illness may include social withdrawal, changes in sleep and appetite, impaired daily functioning, a decline in cognitive functioning, and unexplained physical symptoms – such as stomach aches and migraines.
What is the first stage of a mental breakdown?
The first stage of a mental breakdown may differ depending on the individual and the mental health condition they are experiencing. However, a common first stage of a mental breakdown may be prolonged stress and anxiety, characterized by feelings of overwhelm during everyday and simple activities.
What are the first signs of psychosis?
Early signs of psychosis may include shifts in thinking, behavior, and perception. For example, an individual may start having paranoid delusions and suspicions, start hearing and smelling things that don’t exist, have trouble remembering things clearly, and neglect personal care and hygiene.
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