I Want To Move Out—Am I Ready To Get My Apartment?
Leaving home and transitioning to living independently can be a major step. Before you choose to move out, you might spend some time introspecting. Are you financially stable and emotionally mature? Do you have general life skills and a desire for independence? Have you put plans into place regarding housing and any necessary transportation?
Living independently can have many benefits, but it may be worth reflecting on whether you’re ready for such a change. Here, you’ll find a guide to how you might approach these important questions and make an informed decision about your living arrangement. For more personalized guidance, you might consider speaking with an online therapist who can help you prepare for this new phase of life.
“I want to move out”: What you need to know before getting a new lease on life
If you decide to leave home and live independently, it can be helpful to understand what might be expected of you. Living alone typically involves some level of financial and emotional readiness, as well as some practical knowledge about how to maintain a clean living environment and keep up with daily responsibilities.
Consider the following for a smooth transition:
Financial stability
- Do you have a stable source of income that could support you without relying on your family or others?
- Have you saved enough money to cover rent, utilities, groceries, and other living expenses for at least a few months?
- Do you have a basic understanding of budgeting and how to manage your finances?
- Do you have a level of self-awareness in understanding who you are and what you want out of life?
Emotional maturity
- Can you identify your strengths, weaknesses, and coping mechanisms?
- Are you comfortable with making decisions and taking responsibility for your actions?
- Do you have a supportive network of friends or family that you could reach out to for support when needed?
Life skills
- Do you have basic life skills, such as cooking, cleaning, and doing laundry?
- Do you have experience managing your schedule and balancing responsibilities, such as work and school?
- Do you have a system in place for managing emergencies or unexpected events?
Independence
- Do you have a strong desire to live independently and pursue your interests and goals?
- Do you clearly understand what you want from life, and are you motivated to work toward those goals?
- Are you comfortable with being alone, and can you handle solitude without feeling lonely or isolated?
Housing: Find a landlord for your apartment with lease
- Have you considered different housing options and researched the costs and responsibilities associated with each option?
- Have you made plans to find a place to live, whether through a roommate, a rental agency, or a landlord?
- Do you understand the responsibilities of being a tenant, including paying rent, maintaining the property, and following applicable rules?
Transportation
- Do you have transportation plans, whether it be through public transportation, a car, or a combination of both?
- Do you understand the costs and responsibilities associated with maintaining a vehicle or public transportation?
- Do you have a backup plan in place for when your transportation might be unavailable or unreliable?
“I want to move out”: Are you ready?
If you answered yes to these questions, you are likely ready to leave home and live independently. Try to keep in mind that this transition may bring about new challenges and difficulties. It can be normal to feel nervous or unsure, but if you have the right support system in place, it may lead to a smoother transition.
If you're still uncertain whether you're ready to leave home and live independently, discussing your concerns and thoughts with a trusted friend, family, or therapist may be helpful. They’ll likely be able to provide you with additional guidance and support as you navigate this exciting but challenging time in your life.
Benefits of living independently: Having your own apartment
Living independently can be a significant step toward adulthood, and it may bring a multitude of benefits, including the following:
- Increased freedom, autonomy, and independence
- Opportunities for personal growth and development
- Enhanced self-sufficiency
- The ability to create your own routine and schedule
Increased freedom and autonomy
When you leave home and start living independently, you may gain a new level of freedom and autonomy, and perhaps feel more free to make your own decisions about how you want to live your life without having to worry about conforming to the rules and expectations of others. This newfound freedom can be incredibly empowering and liberating, which may allow you to pursue your passions and interests without any restrictions.
Opportunities for personal growth and development
Living independently can provide you with numerous opportunities for personal growth and development. You may be forced to step out of your comfort zone and navigate new challenges and experiences when you're on your own. This may help you build new skills, increase your confidence, and grow as a person.
Building independence and self-sufficiency
When you live independently, you’ll likely be responsible for taking care of yourself, your home, and your finances. This could be a lot of work, but it can also be incredibly rewarding. Taking care of these responsibilities can help you build independence and self-sufficiency, allowing you to as you gain new skills and habits.
Ability to create your routine and schedule
Whether you’re an early riser or a night owl, you may arrange your day however you like and tailor your lifestyle to suit your needs and preferences. This should help you feel more relaxed, refreshed, and in control of your life.
Unpacking emotional boxes: Navigate the decision-making process in therapy
If you’re struggling with the decision about whether to move out, or are feeling unsure of your ability to manage independence, it may be worth connecting with a therapist. A therapist can offer a safe and supportive environment to explore your thoughts, feelings, and experiences, allowing you to reflect on your life, identify areas of difficulty, and work through the decision-making process.
Cognitive-behavioral therapy is a well-studied therapeutic approach that may be worth considering; it can help you understand and challenge any negative thought patterns that may be influencing your decision and teach you coping strategies for managing anxiety or stress related to the idea of moving out and living independently.
Online therapy can allow you to access weekly therapy from the comfort of home. Platforms like BetterHelp have been found to be just as effective as in-person therapy, and tend to be more affordable, making them an excellent option for those who may be saving up to move out.
Takeaway
How do you know when it's time to move out and have your own landlord?
While there isn't a definitive answer to the question of when you should or shouldn't move out, there are some common signs you might consider:
- You feel like you're ready for a change
- You feel as if you've outgrown your current living situation
- You want more independence
- You're struggling to afford the cost of living in your current home
- You feel unhappy or unsafe in your current living situation
- You have a job or education opportunity in a different place.
- You'd like to live closer to friends, family, or other amenities.
Ultimately, the decision to move out of your current living situation should be based on what suits you best and contributes to your overall well-being. It might be helpful to assess your long-term goals, financial situation, and personal preferences when pondering if it's time to move.
What is a realistic age to move out?
Settling on a realistic age to move out is complicated because there are many factors that play into the trends. Culturally speaking, there is a typical norm in America that recognizes 18 as the age when a young person should move out of their parent's home. While statistics are scarce, that number seems to be climbing with changes in the economy and overall cultural norms and expectations. There are also disparities based on gender, generation, and familial preferences. A realistic age to move out is difficult to determine because it will vary between individuals and their unique circumstances.
How do you know when you are ready to move away?
Moving away can be a big decision requiring careful consideration, particularly if you're moving a considerable distance away from your support system of friends, family, and others with whom you have trusting relationships. The decision should be based on your personal goals, desires, and readiness for change.
Here are some signs that you might be ready to move away:
- You have a clear goal or reason for moving, such as a job opportunity, advancement in your education, or beginning a new chapter in your life.
- You are seeking new challenges and experiences.
- You feel a sense of restlessness or stagnation in your current environment.
- You have a strong support system or network in your new location that can help you transition.
- You have considered the potential pros and cons of moving away and feel confident it's right for you.
- You are emotionally and mentally prepared for the challenges and adjustments that come with moving away from familiar surroundings.
- You have researched and planned for the transition, including finding a new place to live, assessing the cost of living there, and securing a new job.
Discussing your plans with trusted friends or family members and seeking advice from others who have made similar moves may be helpful.
How do you know if you're financially ready to move out?: Funding a deposit, furniture, and more
"Financially ready" is a subjective concept that depends on your personal opinions and beliefs about financial behaviors. Some financial advisors recommend:
Saving early for a deposit
Living at home may provide an opportunity to build savings before you move if you must begin paying utilities, housing, grocery, and other expenses that accompany living on your own.
Establishing an emergency fund
How much you should save is a matter of individual circumstances, but it might help to begin with budgeting a set amount plus factors associated with your specific situation. For example, one may wish to save three to six months' worth of projected living expenses in case of unforeseen circumstances, plus a down payment to pay for monthly housing costs and fees like a security deposit or application fee if you're renting a place first.
Knowing your credit score
Whether you rent or buy a place to live, you'll likely have to undergo a credit check. Check your credit score before beginning your search so you'll know if there are any factors on your report you might need to address before submitting applications.
Creating a budget
Determine your monthly average income, and then estimate average living expenses and housing prices in the area you're moving to. These might include utilities, groceries, transportation, and other potential costs, such as storage space or garage parking, if needed. Additionally, some people may need to factor in any student loan payments they'll begin paying upon graduating.
Preparing one-time costs for things such as packing boxes and furniture
There are also one-time costs to consider, such as renting a moving truck or hiring a moving company, as well as boxes and fees associated with moving into an apartment. You may consider setting extra money aside for any additional furniture you'll need or if you'd like to personalize your new space with accessories like window coverings, lighting, and floor coverings.
Is it better to move out or stay at home?
Both options have pros and cons depending on factors like the economy, earning potential, familial responsibilities, and other factors unique to your situation. For example, it might be better to stay if the housing and rental markets are making it difficult to find a place or less affordable to live on your own.
Staying home may give you time to save as much money as possible until you find a housing situation that best fits your needs. Having fewer financial obligations might make it easier to build your credit. It might also be a good option if you need to take a lower-paying job while building your resume experience.
On the other hand, staying at home may be challenging to your mental health, depending on your familial relationships and stress levels. In some households, a stigma is attached to adults staying home or moving back in after living independently.
Some individuals must give up some of their independence if they stay home, even though they're adults. Following "house rules" may include restrictions on the hours you keep, your guest list, how you spend your money, and noise levels.
Is moving away from family worth it?
Whether moving away from your family is a worthwhile endeavor will likely depend on the relationship you have with them and what types of opportunities are available to you in the location to which you're moving.
Some people find they enjoy the increased freedom and independence that might come with moving away from the family. Others may become homesick if they have a close-knit family, especially if they've moved a long distance away.
Do people regret moving away?
People move away from their homes for many potential reasons, and depending on what happens after they leave, they might regret it. People from a tight-knit family may find themselves feeling homesick or isolated if they're used to living in a busy environment with relatives or friends.
Moving can be a source of stress because of the logistics behind packing up one's belongings and transporting them to another home or the extra costs associated with moving.
However, some people find moving away to be a liberating experience and appreciate the change of scenery. If you're moving to a specific place to begin a new job or academic opportunities, you might have no regrets associated with moving away.
Will moving away make me happier?
Moving away could make you happier if you're embarking on a "fresh start" or are looking forward to what waits for you in your new location. Research suggests that where you move can significantly impact whether your move will make you happier or not. For example, people who move to a new country or area where the general population is happier, you have a greater chance of being happier, and vice versa.
While individual circumstances and location may play a significant role in your level of happiness when you move away, it's worth noting that even if you're happy at first, moving away might not guarantee you'll be satisfied in the long run. That typically depends on your mental health and overall well-being.
Why do I feel like I want to move away?
For some, moving away may mean "running away" from unpleasant circumstances within their home, work, or relationships. People may feel an urge to move away if they're experiencing chronic stress associated with various factors or to distance themselves from an unhappy relationship.
You're probably the only one who can honestly answer the question of why you feel compelled to move away. If you're entertaining the idea, it might be beneficial to take some time to reflect on why that might be the case. If you need guidance, a counselor or life coach might be able to provide extra insight.
How stressful is moving out?
Moving can be stressful, particularly if you have difficulty managing your stress levels to begin with. The combination of added expenses, transitioning to a new home, and perhaps beginning a new job or academic career can be overwhelming for some. Some may feel grief or loss when moving away or isolation if they're living alone. Seeking support from trusted family, friends, and loved ones might help you manage some of that stress. You might also benefit from speaking to a mental health professional who can teach you techniques for coping with stress and managing any mental health issues you may experience while moving.
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