Is Birth Order Personality A Thing?
You've probably heard about the birth order theory of personality before, but you may not have dug too deeply into it or thought about some of the finer details that go along with it. Some people believe the theory has merit, while others don't believe it has anything to do with their lives. If you're wondering why you are the way you are, however, checking out the traits of older, middle, younger, and only children may well give you some insight.
What is birth order personality?
Birth order personality theory says that your birth order may determine some of the traits you possess and learn. That is to say, whether you are the firstborn, youngest, middle, or only child in your specific family—or, of course, are an only child.
Alfred Adler
The theory of personality differences being based on birth order originated quite a while ago. In the late 1920's, to be exact. Alfred Adler is the psychiatrist who first came up with the theory, and since then, birth order has been considered to have a very big impact on who you will become as a person. Many have looked at the traits describing someone born first, last, middle, or only and found that these things are very similar to where they fit in their own lives.
Research on birth order personality among siblings
In fact, many studies have been done to look at personality and birth order to see if there is a correlation, and we're not just talking about during Adler's time. More recent studies have been conducted and researchers have made some discoveries, including a higher level of honesty and dominance in firstborns, a higher level of conscientiousness and diligence in middle children, and a higher level of socialization and openness in youngest children. Finally, those who are only children are outgoing and sociable but also more nervous than their peers.
How does birth order personality affect you?
Whether you’re an oldest child, middle child, or youngest child may impact you and the type of person that you become. Parents may treat children differently based on where they fall on this spectrum and siblings may treat each other differently based on birth order too, researchers have found.
The oldest child
The firstborn child is said to be a natural leader and may even infantilize their younger siblings regardless of how old they are. Conservative but more power-oriented, these individuals tend to take charge from an early age because they may be responsible for their younger siblings on a frequent basis. Because of this they also tend to be more caring, more likely to jump in when something needs doing, and more interested in being parents themselves.
These children may have an inherent ability to take on responsibilities, likely because they've had more responsibilities than their siblings all their lives.
The middle child or sibling
Next up is the middle child, and they are known to struggle to be better than their older sibling in any way possible. Because they always have someone to try to "catch," they tend to push themselves harder and faster and may reach developmental milestones even faster than their older sibling did. They are very ambitious, but they're not selfish. Rather, they set goals for themselves that are higher than average and tend to push themselves to achieve everything they can.
While they have a higher number of problems and even failures because of these high standards, they learn from an early age how to cope with difficulties and become even stronger as a result.
The youngest child
We come to the youngest child now, which is the one that seems to get more attention and more coddling from not only the parents but also other siblings. This can lead them to be less independent and less capable of accomplishing things on their own, though they tend to have a lot of self-motivation to do even better than their older siblings.
As a result, they tend to push themselves hard and tend to achieve even more than their older siblings, becoming extremely successful. On the other hand, they can be irresponsible and frivolous compared to their siblings.
The only child
Finally, we come to the only child. These children don't have anyone to compete within their generation, and as a result, they tend to become competitive with their fathers instead. They may become dependent or even self-centered.
Because they have no siblings around, only children may have trouble learning how to interact with peers and may become perfectionists. In turn, their perfectionism may push them to achieve whatever goals they set for themselves without fail.
Learning positive skills for your future
So, what do you do to start working toward those skills? Once you define the skills you want to build, you can start working towards them in any way you want. Actively pursuing things that stretch your boundaries and your capabilities is one way to start the process, and it could make a huge difference in the way that you live your life. The key is making sure that you continue to push yourself and that you're working towards improving yourself and what's out there for you.
Therapy can help older, middle, or younger siblings
BetterHelp is a great way to get the help that you're looking for. With BetterHelp, you'll be matched with a therapist who can help you with whatever you're going through, whenever you need them. That's because although you set appointments with BetterHelp, you won't need to go to a doctor's office for sessions. Instead, you can get comfortable in your own home and have your sessions from there.
Effectiveness of online therapy
Online therapy becomes more popular every year. Much research has been done about how effective online therapy is, and study after study has found that online therapy is as effective—if not more so—as in-person therapy for any number of mental health issues.
BetterHelp is a completely online service that connects you with some of the best therapists in the country, and all you have to do is log on and connect to the service. Once you do, you'll be able to find someone that you feel comfortable with and get started on the path to developing new skills and improving your overall life. You may be surprised just how much you can accomplish with this service and just how much you may learn about yourself.
Takeaway
This doesn't mean that other skills can't be learned. It doesn't mean that the dependence you may have by being an only child can't be turned into a strong level of independence. It does mean that you can and should work on these skills to help yourself become more well-rounded and prepared for what is going to come at you throughout your life. It may take a little more work because you did not more automatically have those skills as a child, but you absolutely can learn them. If you're struggling to relate with siblings, help your children get along, or understand complex family dynamics, consider reaching out to an online therapist for guidance and support.
How does birth order determine the personality of young siblings?
Birth order theory suggests that birth order can influence personality traits and behavior. When children are young, birth order can affect their personalities in several ways, as explored below.
Only children often get much more attention from their caregivers, so many of their early interactions tend to be with adults, which can make them seem more mature than their peers. They may have more confidence than other children, use adult language, or enjoy being the center of attention. Only children may also feel they are being treated unfairly when they don’t get their way and may not relate well to kids their own age.
Firstborns were only children until their new sibling was born, so they may have some of the above traits. They may also be more likely to be leaders, feel superior to their peers, and be bossy about following rules. Oldest siblings tend to be focused on being right but reliable with a desire to please other people.
Second-born children or middle children grow up with parents who focus some of their attention on their older siblings. Later-born children may be competitive about trying to catch up with older children and be more competitive with other kids. A middle-born child may be a peacemaker, and they may be rebellious or engage in behaviors their older siblings do not in order to get attention and set themselves apart.
Middle kids in larger families may be less competitive than those in families with three children because there are more siblings and the parents’ attention is spread thinner. In larger families, middle children tend to be more cooperative and even-tempered but may feel left out or like life is unfair. Second children from larger families may be more adaptable, outgoing, or rambunctious, but they may feel that life is unfair.
Youngest or last-born children tend to be seen as the baby of the family and get more parental attention as their older siblings become more independent. Youngest child personality traits may relate to being attention-seeking and outgoing, and they may be less likely to be taken seriously. Many children who are the youngest born may feel like everyone else is more capable than they are, and they may try to grow up quickly to catch up to their siblings.
Why does birth order matter if you’re the youngest child in the family?
In a family’s birth order, the youngest child may be more free-spirited. Parents may have a more laid-back parenting approach with subsequent children, which can influence the youngest to be agreeable, outgoing, and fun-loving. Youngest children tend to try harder to get their parents’ attention, which can make them natural performers. Lastborns may use their role as the baby of the family to their advantage and maybe the least likely to be disciplined.
What is the personality of a firstborn sibling?
With firstborn children, parents tend to be extremely attentive and strict with rules. Because of this, oldest children tend to be cautious and reliable. They receive a lot of undivided attention before their siblings are born, which can make them conscientious, but they can also develop a fear of failure and resist change. They may be bossy and quick to take charge.
What is the behavior of the middle child?
Middle-child personality traits may include being rebellious to get attention or as a response to being compared to their older and younger siblings. They may thrive on friendships and have a large social circle because they learn to compromise and negotiate to fit in and may try to act as peacekeepers. They may feel that they are being ignored or undervalued, and their parents are paying more attention to the high-achieving oldest child and younger brothers and sisters.
What is the best gender order for siblings?
Individual personality characteristics, parenting style, and family dynamics play significant roles in sibling relationships. Multiple studies have been conducted over the years to determine the impact of gender order on siblings, but there has never been a consensus on what is considered the “best” gender order.
Does birth order affect mental health?
There is some scientific evidence that it can. This study determined that last-borns were less likely to experience mental health problems and more likely to have developed effective coping skills and exhibit resilience, while middle-born children had the lowest levels of happiness and oldest siblings had the most conduct problems.
That said, other research suggests that birth order may not affect adult personality at all. Ultimately, many other factors contribute to personality development and human behavior, and birth order traits may not have a lasting significant impact as the child matures and develops their own personality.
What is the oldest daughter and youngest son theory?
The oldest daughter and youngest son theory proposes that a person who is the oldest-born daughter and one who is the youngest-born son are the most compatible romantic match. According to this theory, these two types of individuals are likely to have healthy relationship dynamics because they complement one another.
How do last borns behave in a relationship?
A child's personality can change a lot as they mature. If birth order personality traits carry over into adulthood, last borns may exhibit several behaviors in a relationship, including being carefree, affectionate, and social.
Does being the oldest or youngest sibling shape your personality?
Multiple factors can influence birth order personality, including individual psychology, socioeconomic status, sibling age gap, and gender roles. How birth order affects a person's personality is still a debated topic. Some research has determined that birth order does not affect personality, but it may contribute to intelligence. Parents generally have more resources to give to the firstborn child, which can impact their cognitive abilities and intelligence.
What is Adler's theory of birth order?
Adler’s theory of birth order proposes that when a child is born within their family members may impact their personality and development.
- Previous Article
- Next Article