Is Your Daydreaming Holding You Back? Exploring Maladaptive Daydreaming

Medically reviewed by April Justice, LICSW
Updated July 4, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

We may all daydream sometimes. It can be normal to drift off into thought, imagining a vacation on a tropical beach or conquering that big presentation. For some, though, daydreaming becomes less of a relaxing escape and more of a recurring detour, pulling them away from their goals and responsibilities.

Does this sound familiar? Do you spend hours lost in vivid fantasies, neglecting tasks, and feeling guilty afterward? You might be wondering, "Is my daydreaming holding me back?" It could be, but utilizing strategies like scheduling time to daydream and doing activities that ground you can help. Online or in-person therapy can also be beneficial for those who experience maladaptive daydreaming.

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Do you feel lost or overwhelmed by excessive daydreaming?

What is maladaptive daydreaming?

Maladaptive daydreaming can be defined as a condition in which an individual excessively daydreams and has difficulty controlling or stopping these fantasies. The term was first coined by Dr. Eli Somer, who described it as a behavioral addiction. While the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition (DSM-5) does not currently include maladaptive daydreaming as a recognized mental health disorder, it is often viewed as a symptom associated with other mental health conditions, such as anxiety and depression. 

For some, daydreaming can be a coping mechanism for stress and trauma, providing an escape from reality. However, maladaptive daydreaming often goes beyond a healthy level of imagination and becomes a compulsive behavior that interferes with daily functioning.

Symptoms of maladaptive daydreaming may include the following:

  • Excessive amount of time spent daydreaming
  • Difficulty focusing on tasks or responsibilities
  • Feeling distressed or guilty about daydreaming
  • Using daydreaming to avoid or escape from real-life problems and emotions
  • Loss of control over the content of daydreams, with vivid and detailed fantasies taking over daily thoughts

Maladaptive daydreaming can also cause physical symptoms, such as sleep disturbances, fatigue, and headaches. The condition can significantly impact an individual's daily life, relationships, and overall well-being.

The exact causes of maladaptive daydreaming are currently unknown. However, research suggests that it may be a coping mechanism for individuals who have experienced childhood trauma or emotional neglect. 

The psychometric properties of the MD (maladaptive daydreaming) scale indicate that it may also be linked to dissociative disorders and attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). The comorbidity of these conditions may highlight the importance of seeking professional help to address maladaptive daydreaming.

The impact of maladaptive day dreaming can be significant, potentially causing distress and hindering personal growth. Impairment in daily functioning, social interactions, and fulfilling responsibilities can lead to feelings of shame, guilt, and self-blame. These negative emotions can further fuel the cycle of excessive daydreaming, exacerbating the condition.

Identifying maladaptive daydreaming in your life

The difference between productive and maladaptive daydreaming is generally the level of control one has over their thoughts and fantasies. Productive daydreaming usually involves a conscious decision to indulge in imagination, while maladaptive daydreaming often seems compulsive and uncontrollable.

If you find yourself spending most of your time lost in vivid, detailed fantasies that interfere with daily tasks and responsibilities, it could be a sign of maladaptive daydreaming. 

While only a licensed mental health professional can diagnose maladaptive daydreaming, there are some questions you can ask yourself to determine whether your daydreaming may be excessive and affecting your daily life.

  • Do I spend a significant amount of time daydreaming every day?
  • Do I find it difficult to focus on tasks or responsibilities because of my daydreams?
  • Does my daydreaming cause distress or guilt?
  • Do I use daydreaming to escape from real-life problems or emotions?

If you answered yes to these questions, further exploration and professional help may be beneficial. The Maladaptive Daydreaming Scale (MDS) is a self-assessment tool developed by Dr. Eli Somer that can help individuals identify the severity of their daydreaming and its impact on their daily lives.

Reflecting on the role daydreaming plays in your life can be a profound step toward understanding yourself and your needs. It can be important to recognize that you're not alone in this; many people find themselves in similar situations. 

As you gently explore how these daydreams influence your daily routines and interactions, consider how they make you feel. Do they bring a sense of relief, or do they leave you feeling more disconnected from your surroundings? This self-reflection isn't about self-reproach but instead about nurturing awareness and compassion. 

Every step you take toward understanding your daydreaming can be seen as a path toward self-care and personal insight. Remember, seeking professional support can be a powerful way to build the tools you deserve to balance your inner world with the demands of everyday life, and this act of courage can start with an honest conversation with yourself.

A man in a blue shirt sits in a wheel chair at the kitchen table and gazes off in a daydream.
Getty/MixMedia

How your mental health influences daydreaming

People with maladaptive daydreaming often have underlying mental health conditions that may contribute to excessive and uncontrollable daydreaming. These conditions can include anxiety, depression, trauma, or attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).

Daydreaming can also be a coping mechanism for these conditions. It typically provides an escape from overwhelming emotions and stressors, allowing individuals to create their own safe and ideal world within their minds.

Depression tends to be a common comorbidity with maladaptive daydreaming, as the two conditions frequently share similar symptoms of low energy, fatigue, and feelings of disconnection. Additionally, individuals who experience anxiety may use daydreaming to distract themselves from anxious thoughts or triggers.

However, while daydreaming can provide temporary relief, it can also become a negative coping strategy that hinders an individual's ability to address and manage their mental health. Maladaptive daydreamers may find themselves avoiding necessary mental health therapy or other form of treatment because their daydreams provide a temporary sense of comfort.

Treatment for maladaptive daydreaming often includes addressing any underlying mental health conditions and developing healthier coping mechanisms. However, in some cases, maladaptive daydreaming may be the primary issue, and therapy can focus specifically on managing and overcoming this condition. For symptoms related to attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) or dissociative disorders, medication may also be prescribed by a licensed medical professional.

Working with a licensed mental health professional can be crucial to developing an effective treatment plan. No matter which path you take, know that there is hope for managing maladaptive daydreaming and finding balance in your inner world.

Strategies for managing maladaptive daydreaming

If you experience maladaptive daydreaming, it can seem overwhelming and challenging to break the cycle. However, with understanding and support, it can be possible to manage your daydreaming and reclaim control over your life.

Here are some strategies that may help you manage maladaptive daydreaming.

Set an alarm for daydreaming sessions

Instead of letting your daydreams take over, try setting a specific time each day to indulge in them. This approach can help you regain control and prevent excessive daydreaming throughout the day.

Engage in activities that ground you in reality

Try to find activities that bring you back to the present moment, such as exercise, cooking, or spending time with loved ones.

Limit access to triggers

Identifying any specific situations or triggers that tend to lead to excessive daydreaming can help you avoid or minimize these triggers.

Seek therapy

A licensed mental health professional can help you explore the underlying causes of your maladaptive daydreaming and develop coping strategies to manage it effectively.

Remember, everyone's journey with maladaptive daydreaming may be unique. Maladaptive daydreams can serve as a coping mechanism, and it can be essential to approach your daydreams with compassion and understanding. Your awareness of the issue and willingness to seek help may be powerful steps toward managing and overcoming maladaptive daydreaming.

Maintaining progress and preventing relapse

Managing maladaptive daydreaming is often an ongoing process. Once you stop maladaptive daydreaming, it can be tempting to revert to old habits during stressful or challenging times.

To maintain progress and prevent relapse, here are some tips that may help.

Continue therapy

Therapy can be a critical tool for managing maladaptive daydreaming. Even after you feel like you have made progress, you should generally continue therapy to address any underlying issues and develop healthy coping strategies.

Create a support system

Having a supportive network of friends and family can provide encouragement and accountability as you navigate your journey with maladaptive daydreaming.

Be aware of triggers

Continue to be mindful of any triggers that may lead to excessive daydreaming. Being aware of these triggers can help you avoid or manage them effectively.

Engage in self-care

Taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being is often vital for managing maladaptive daydreaming. Make time for activities that bring you joy and help you relax.

As a maladaptive daydreamer, you may face challenges on your journey to manage this condition. Recovery is not always a linear process, and setbacks may occur. But with the right support and strategies, you can learn to manage your daydreaming and live a fulfilling life. 

An close up of an elderly woman as she gazes out if a window while daydreaming.
Getty/PamelaJoeMcFarlane
Do you feel lost or overwhelmed by excessive daydreaming?

Benefits of online therapy

Online therapy can offer convenient and accessible support for those who experience maladaptive daydreaming. Through individual therapy sessions, you can work with a licensed mental health professional to address the root causes of your excessive daydreaming and develop healthy coping mechanisms. The flexibility of online therapy typically allows for sessions to be scheduled at times outside of usual office hours, potentially making it easier to incorporate therapy into your routine. 

Effectiveness of online therapy

Psychiatric research indicates that online therapy can be as effective as in-person therapy for treating mental health conditions like anxiety and depression, which may involve maladaptive daydreaming as a symptom. When in-person therapy is not an option, or if you prefer the comfort of your own home, online therapy can be a valuable tool in managing maladaptive daydreaming and other mental health challenges. 

Takeaway

Maladaptive daydreaming may offer temporary relief from stress and other mental health challenges, but it can also have negative consequences that impact your daily life. Recognizing and addressing excessive daydreaming can be crucial for managing this condition effectively. It may be helpful to schedule specific time blocks for daydreaming and engage in grounding activities. Online therapy can be a viable option for those who experience maladaptive daydreaming, providing evidence-based support and guidance to help individuals overcome this condition.
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