Exploring Sexual Health And Libido: Causes Of A Loss Of Sex Drive
Fluctuations and loss of sex drive can be common among most people, affecting roughly 20% of men (or AMAB—people assigned male at birth) and nearly 50% of women (or AFAB—people assigned female at birth).
The causes for loss of sex drive can be individual. For example: People experiencing stress or a significant life event may have decreased sex drive. Hormonal fluctuations can also influence how much sex we want and when, and physical health conditions can impact sex drive as well. Some individuals do not experience a high level of interest in sex or sexual attraction in general, such as those who are a part of the asexual community.
However, when a lack of sex drive occurs for seemingly no reason or seems uncharacteristically constant, it can signify something more serious, possibly causing strain in relationships, self-esteem and more. If you experience concerns related to loss of sex drive, there are strategies that couples and individuals can use to help resolve them. We’ve listed them below:
Possible causes of loss of sex drive
Hormonal changes
Hormonal imbalances and changes may account for the loss of sex drive someone experiences. There are many potential causes of hormonal imbalances, such as certain birth control methods, age and mental health shifts. Medical professionals can address this concern according to the cause. It can be relatively simple to determine if one has a hormonal imbalance, as these can be detected with a blood test.
Stress
Psychological stress can cause changes in sex hormone levels. Additionally, mental stress, particularly severe or ongoing, can come with several adverse effects that can profoundly strain the mind and body. These include but aren't limited to: trouble sleeping, body aches or muscle tension, fatigue, irritability, high blood pressure, strained interpersonal relationships, difficulty focusing or concentrating and more. Stress management, then, can be critical for our well-being—including our sexual health.
If stress can be contributing to the cause of sexual dysfunction, online therapy and medical intervention can be helpful to many. You might consider reaching out to book a formal appointment or evaluation to determine your next right step.
Relationship difficulties
Unresolved issues within a relationship can significantly contribute to sexual intimacy hesitancy. If you and your partner are experiencing communication difficulties, feelings of resentment, trust issues or any other matters that cause strain within your relationship, consulting a couple’s counselor can help.
Chronic physical health conditions
Various physical health conditions, including chronic pain, irritable bowel disease (IBD), thyroid disorders and diabetes can lead to a loss of sex drive or lowered sex drive. Medical conditions that may lower libido for people who are AFAB may include endometriosis, vaginal yeast infections, UTIs, vaginal dryness, painful sex and more. Conversely, people who are AMAB may experience a loss of sex drive because of issues like delayed ejaculation, premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction and low testosterone.
Certain medications
Blood pressure medications, chemotherapy drugs, certain antidepressants, antipsychotic medications and others can negatively affect sex drive. If you are noticing possible symptoms or effects from medication use, you might consider consulting with your prescribing doctor. They can offer you possible alternative solutions or additional pharmaceutical therapies to address your symptoms.
Aging
Libido can wane with age because of hormonal changes, issues with body image, self-esteem and more. This can be particularly common for those who are experiencing menopause or decreased testosterone levels.
Depression, anxiety, and other mental health disorders
Depression and anxiety disorders are common mental health conditions that can feature a loss of interest in activities that one would typically enjoy—including sex. Aside from this, depression and anxiety disorders can have other common symptoms that can cause sexual hesitancy—including sleep disturbances, trouble concentrating, tiredness, changes in appetite and more.
Research currently suggests that treatment for depression can help sexual libido, and a reduction in stress through psychotherapy can also have a positive, complementary impact.
Trauma exposure and post-traumatic stress disorder
Trauma and trauma-related disorders, such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), can be linked to difficulties with one’s ability to maintain and other concerns that may impact a person's sex life.
We do want to note: Not everyone who experiences a traumatic event will have problems relating to sexual intimacy, and they may not meet the criteria for or receive a diagnosis of PTSD—but this doesn't mean that the trauma one experienced may not affect one in other ways.
If you are experiencing trauma, support is available. Please see our Get Help Now page for more resources.
Sleep disorders and lack of sleep
Sleep disorders, such as sleep apnea, insomnia, and restless leg syndrome can impact a person's sex life. These disorders can cause exhaustion, which can directly impact one’s mental health and ability to perform or pursue sexually. Working with your practitioner to determine the root causes to your lack of sleep (and a subsequent fix) can be a powerful way to improve your sex life.
Relationship problems
Just as the loss of sex drive can affect a romantic partnership, you may find that relationship problems may negatively affect your sex life. Speaking with a therapist can help many to resolve the underlying causes of relationship strain, possibly reducing stress later on.
Treatments for low sex drive
Since sexual health can be connected to many different things, finding a solution for losing one’s sex drive generally depends on their unique circumstances. What works for one person may not work for another, so it can be helpful to seek professional guidance from licensed practitioners (such as doctors and therapists).
Determining the cause of low libido
You may begin by visiting your doctor for an examination, beginning the steps necessary for lab work and a diagnostic review of your medical history. This can help you to determine if the source is physical, emotional or due to some other underlying cause. This can help your allied care team to lay out the next correct step.
For example: If your doctor suspects the issue is hormonal, such as with menopause or low testosterone, they may send you to a specialist for hormone therapy.
Seeking a therapist specializing in sexual health
No matter what the suspected underlying cause is, your GP may refer you to a therapist specializing in sexual health and couples counseling for additional support in your specific case. Apart from couples therapy or sex therapy, your therapist may also work with you individually to decrease your stress levels and learn coping skills when stress becomes overwhelming.
How can online mental health professionals help those experiencing reduced libido?
A therapist can help you and your partner explore the underlying causes of a decrease in sex drive, provide you with emotional support, and give you tips for improving relationship functioning.
Addressing a decrease in sexual desire with online therapy
Online therapy can be a great way for couples and individuals to discuss sensitive topics like loss of sex drive or other intimacy issues. Online therapy platforms like BetterHelp can also make it easier to get the care you need from the comfort of your home or anywhere else with a reliable internet connection, possibly reducing barriers to care for some.
The effectiveness of online therapy for people experiencing a loss of sex drive
Research suggests that online therapy options can be effective in helping people with a wide range of concerns (including sexual intimacy and relationship management), and plans can be more affordable than traditional, in-person therapy services without health insurance. Plans can generally be billed monthly, and financial aid may be available for those who need it.
Takeaway
Concerns related to relationships and sexual intimacy can be challenging to talk about. Many people might feel uncomfortable talking to a therapist in person about such matters, or they may feel awkward when encountering others in the office waiting room. Online therapy can provide an possible solution for many who may feel hesitant to speak about such matters in an office setting.
What causes a loss of sex drive?
Lowered sexual desire can be normal for many. However, if you notice a sudden drop and are concerned, it can be helpful to try to identify a cause. Possible reasons for low libido include fluctuating sex hormones, drinking too much alcohol over an extended period of time, sudden lifestyle changes, hormonal contraception, or sudden or serious illness. Speaking with a sex therapist and your health care practitioner can help you to address things that could affect libido, returning you to your baseline or desired level of sexual desire.
How can I improve my sexual health and get my sex drive back?
Many find that the first step to getting their sex drive back is to see a licensed sex expert or healthcare practitioner. You can then request tests for your hormone levels and discuss any lifestyle changes or age-related health problems you feel might be contributing to lower libido.
Why am I not in the mood for sex?
Sometimes, people may have no desire for sex—and that’s okay. However, if you’re concerned about your sudden lack of desire for sex, it can be helpful to speak to your healthcare practitioner or a sex therapist. You may have a lack of interest due to past painful or uncomfortable sex, a lack of confidence in your sexual function, possible relationship issues or physical conditions that can directly affect your desire for sex.
Why am I not turned on by my partner?
Loss of libido can occur, even if you remain attracted to your partner. You may simply be experiencing a lack of desire for sex, which can happen periodically. Other explanations can include physical conditions that may cause uncomfortable sex or may reduce libido, stress, lifestyle changes, exhaustion, or emotional distress—possibly caused by a mental health condition like depression or an anxiety disorder.
Is it normal to not want sex?
Low libido can happen, even if you had a higher sex drive previously. All levels of attraction and sexual drive can be normal, and may simply be fluctuating due to changes in your life. A therapist or your health care provider can help to determine the cause of your loss of libido.
What hormone increases sex drive in females?
Many hormones contribute to the female sex drive. Some of the most impactful hormones can include estrogen and testosterone. Certain neurotransmitters (such as oxytocin and dopamine) may also contribute to libido.
Why am I so turned off by my husband?
There are many reasons why you might feel turned off by your husband. They may have tried sexual techniques that were unpleasant in the past, or there may be underlying tension from something else going on in your relationship. Trying relationship therapy can be a helpful tool that can open up lines of communication in the relationship—possibly resolving your sudden loss of libido.
Why is my wife no longer interested in intimacy?
Your wife might show a lack of interest in intimacy for several reasons. She may be feeling stressed, distracted or worried about something. She may also be experiencing mental or physical health conditions that can directly affect her libido. Encouraging her to seek support from her health care practitioner or therapist can be a helpful first step in resolving this sudden lack of interest.
How long is too long without sex in a relationship?
Each relationship is different—so there generally isn’t a universal answer to this question. If you’re not sure if your partner is sexually satisfied, you may consider speaking to them directly to set expectations around your sexual relationship.
How often should a couple have sex?
No two couples are alike. This means that every single couple can have different expectations when it comes to sex. Speaking candidly about sex in your relationship can be a way to answer this question for yourself, and can set the boundaries and preferences of your sexual relationship effectively.
- Previous Article
- Next Article