No One Cares About Me: What Can I Do To Find Support And Care?

Medically reviewed by Melissa Guarnaccia, LCSW and Laura Angers Maddox, NCC, LPC
Updated November 20, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Do you ever feel alone and have thoughts like “No one cares about me”? If so, you’re not alone.

The United States is experiencing an epidemic of loneliness that is affecting people’s mental health and emotional well-being. According to U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy, “Half of all Americans are experiencing a measurable level of loneliness and it is a serious threat to their health and to that of their communities."

Below, we’ll explore loneliness and the thought that no one cares. We’ll look at possible reasons for these thoughts and ways to fight loneliness and improve connections with others. 

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Do you feel like no one cares about you?

Why do you feel like no one cares about or helps you?

If you feel that no one cares about you, it may help to conduct a brief assessment to see if that’s true. You might start by evaluating any close relationships in your life as if you were describing them to someone else. If you feel that a relationship has grown distant or less caring, you might consider possible contributing factors, such as geographic distance, significant life changes (on your part or theirs), family obligations, personal or work-related stress, etc. Do they truly not care, or can it be that something is keeping them from currently showing it? 

Maybe you feel hurt or angry because of their absence, or maybe you're feeling invisible. You have a right to your feelings. However, sometimes our feelings mask our ability to see things clearly. 

How to find support and care from others

Whether we admit it or not, most of us want others to care about our feelings. It can be frustrating to express your needs to your support system of friends and family and feel as if they do not hear you. If you find that someone close to you is ignoring your emotions, you're allowed to feel hurt. Also, you have a right to express these feelings.

You might start by saying, "I don't feel heard." That simple statement may help open a dialogue.

“No one cares about me”: Look to your extended family if you feel ignored

If you feel that no one cares about you and you’ve already talked to your immediate family, you may benefit from branching out. Do you have extended family who would spend time with you and lend a listening ear if they knew you needed support? You might consider reaching out to a cousin you haven’t caught up with in a while, or an older relative who might be able to offer support. You may be able to provide a listening ear in return. 

Join a support group that cares

Do you have a specific challenge that others might be facing? If so, you might find others who care in a support group, whether in your community or online. Joining in on group conversations may help you find people who are familiar with situations like yours.

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Shift your focus away from feeling forgotten

Sometimes we get focused on what we want or need from others. You might be able to quell feelings of loneliness or isolation by getting involved in helping others. Not only will serving others help them, but it may also help you gain a greater sense of yourself and your own worth. Also, service may be an effective way to meet people and make new friends. Realizing that you can have a positive impact on others may help you feel better about yourself, and this positive energy may attract others toward you.

Get help from others and stop feeling invisible

If you want to help others, but aren't sure where to get started, you might search online for volunteer service opportunities in your area. If participating in something big seems too overwhelming, you can start small. Maybe you know someone who is going through a hard time and your listening ear can make a big difference. Even if you're going through difficult circumstances, serving others may give you a new perspective and help you feel good about yourself.

Have realistic expectations of others to avoid feeling neglected

It can sometimes be tempting to make assumptions about other people. For example, our feelings can sometimes lead us to assume that people don’t care about us. However, other people may simply be navigating their own life challenges. They may also be busy with work and family obligations. Something may be preventing them from reaching out to you, but it's likely not because they don't care.

Be aware of thinking errors that make you feel unimportant

The way you interpret your experiences can have a great impact on your emotions. Sometimes, our minds trick us into believing certain things are true, but we may actually be narrowly focused on one small aspect of a situation, or maybe we are viewing it through a distorted lens.

Take a reality check to stop feeling lonely

When you catch yourself having feelings of loneliness, it may help to give yourself a reality check. For example, did one person forget to call you, and now you feel like nobody cares? This is a form of “all or nothing” thinking. It occurs when a person views events in terms of extremes. Just because one person lets you down does not mean all people will let you down.

Another cognitive distortion is relying on “should statements.” You may have thoughts about what you believe other people should do, and when they don’t behave exactly in those ways, you may feel upset. “Should” statements can set up unrealistic expectations that lead to disappointment.

Learning to catch these types of thoughts and working on reframing them into more rational thoughts may help you experience more positive feelings. Working with a counselor to help you identify any cognitive distortions could be beneficial.

Talk to someone who knows how to care

If you are experiencing thoughts that no one cares about you, it may help to speak with a licensed counselor. They may be able to help you evaluate your thoughts and feelings from a different perspective. This may allow you to identify any cognitive distortions or assumptions you haven’t considered. 

Feeling unimportant? Try online therapy

If you feel hesitant about traditional in-office therapy, you might consider trying online therapy.  With online therapy, you can communicate with a licensed therapist from home via phone, live chat, or videoconferencing. Also, with BetterHelp, you can write to your therapist at any time through in-app messaging, and they’ll get back to you as soon as they can. This may prove to be especially useful if you have thoughts or concerns in between sessions. 

Numerous studies have demonstrated that online therapy is effective for a variety of concerns, including depression and anxiety. One study found that online cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) was effective for reducing feelings of loneliness.

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Do you feel like no one cares about you?
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Takeaway

If you’ve been feeling isolated and thinking “no one cares about me,” know that you’re not alone. This is a common thought that many people experience at times. While some people really do distance themselves from us, the thought “no one cares about me” is sometimes based on cognitive distortions. Whether you’re experiencing cognitive distortions or not, your feelings are valid, and it may help to explore them with a licensed counselor, whether in your community or online. Take the first step toward getting help with your feelings of isolation and reach out to BetterHelp.
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