Is “Time Heals All Wounds” True For Past Pain?
Being emotionally wounded can mark a difficult time in a person's life. The uncertainty that comes along with a painful event often leaves one wondering if the ache will ever end. Have you been there?
No doubt, we have all heard the saying, "Time heals all wounds." While this statement may be motivated by good intentions, it's not always an easy concept to grasp. Often, the heartache of the moment weighs so heavily upon us that we cannot see past the pain.
A person who has been wounded can experience many emotions. Depending on the circumstances, one may feel anger, frustration, or sadness. The amount of time it takes to heal depends on the complexity of an individual's experience as well as their use of effective coping mechanisms.
It's okay to feel hurt. It is even okay to feel angry. However, learning to live through the pain of a harmful experience may be beneficial. Specifically, it can help you to reestablish balance in your life. Understanding how to identify your feelings and address the situation may help you begin to heal.
Identifying the source of the wound
Being wounded seems to throw things off kilter. It can leave you feeling like the world is moving in a fast-paced blur while you are frozen in disbelief. It's not uncommon for someone who has been wounded to say, "I just want to feel normal again." Even though being hurt can make you feel lonely, you are not alone.
Complex sources
Emotional responses to being wounded are often complex, and like peeling an onion, they may have to be addressed one layer at a time. Even when a wound is fresh and seems unbearable, you may be able to begin finding balance.
Healing past scars: Identifying pain sources
For some, the source of feeling wounded is obvious. Others, however, may have experienced one or more things over the course of time that left them feeling hurt and wounded. Whether it's a cheating spouse, the loss of a loved one, or another traumatic event, the pain can be significant. You may want to take the time to think about the events in your life that have led you to feel wounded. Identifying the source of the pain may help you as you begin the journey of healing.
The effects of patience and time on healing
When you are in the middle of a painful event, being told to "just give it time" or "time will make it better" may add stress to your already painful feelings. For some, healing comes in stages. Some of those stages take longer than others.
Healing scars: forgiveness and moving past the pain
When you experience an event that wounds you, the idea that you can one day move past the pain or sadness is a hopeful thought. Wanting to feel normal again is natural. While time may not necessarily heal all wounds, it does give you an opportunity to process your feelings. With time, the perception of pain can be altered. This shift is an important part of healing.
Having patience: How long does it take to heal?
Just how much time does it take to begin feeling better? There is no exact answer to this question and no formula to determine how long you may feel this way. We all process thoughts and feelings differently.
Why is the pain so intense?
If you have ever been wounded by a person or event, you may have wondered why it was so painful. Human beings are emotional creatures. Almost everything we do is connected to our emotions. In some cases, the pain could be caused by the memory of a time with a lost loved one. For instance, the aroma of a pie baking in the oven may cause us to remember a time enjoyed together. Anything related to a meaningful experience is something that can spark emotion within us.
Consider these questions
When we are hurt, our emotions seem to be on "high alert." To begin healing, it's necessary to think about the situation and why it may be causing so much pain.
Was the cause of your wounds something foreseeable?
If you have experienced something that has left you wounded and you think you could have prevented it, the pain you are experiencing could be coupled with guilt. It's important to remind yourself that whatever happened, you cannot change the past. Don't live in it and blame yourself. Healing begins by acknowledging what happened and letting go.
Is the person (or situation) who caused your wound still present in your life?
Relationships that have caused you pain, particularly if they are not mended or ended, can have an emotional effect much like that of a festering sore. In these cases, it can be helpful to identify and address the source of the wound. If your spouse or significant other has said or done something to hurt you, ignoring it does not usually make the pain go away. Talking out the situation and discussing your feelings may help you determine if this is something you can recover from, or if you need to end the relationship. Either way, it’s important that you heal and move on to a healthier life.
Have you lost a person close to you?
One of the most painful wounds is the wound that death leaves behind. Whether the death was sudden or the result of a long-term illness, it doesn't change the feeling of loss. Healing this particular wound is often difficult because the lost loved one cannot be replaced.
Healing through online therapy
While healing of any kind does take time, sometimes the process may require more than just patiently waiting. If you have experienced a wound or traumatic event, it’s okay to reach out for help. You may find that reaching out to others opens the floodgates of emotion and allows healing to flow in.
Many people find it difficult to let go of the source of their trauma or pain. For some, it is a reminder of things lost. They might feel that letting go of the pain will make what they lost fade or seem to have never existed. If you feel overwhelmed by painful emotions, seeking the help of a mental health professional could be beneficial. Your family doctor can offer recommendations and/or referrals if needed.
Time heals all wounds: Seeking online help for forgiveness and growth
If you feel too overwhelmed to leave the house to address your emotional wounds, online counseling is an option. With internet-based therapy platforms like BetterHelp, you can talk with a mental health professional from the comfort of your home.
Effectiveness of online therapy
Research with a veteran population has shown that individual and group therapy via videoconferencing reduced symptoms to an extent comparable to traditional therapy. Online therapy can also help with other related conditions such as insomnia and anxiety. BetterHelp offers an opportunity to connect with licensed mental health professionals who can help you navigate through the pain of your wound, so you can move forward in your life.
Takeaway
What does “time heals all wounds” mean?
The saying “time heals all wounds” refers to the fact that it takes time for all wounds, mental or physical, to heal. Healing is never instantaneous, and it is important to remember that recovery is a process. The saying is often misinterpreted as “only time is needed to heal wounds,” which is a common misconception. Time is not medicine, and both psychological and physical wounds often require intervention beyond waiting for the injury to heal. For healing purposes, physical wounds are treated by medical professionals, and emotional wounds by a therapist or other mental health practitioner.
Who said “time heals all wounds”?
The earliest instance of a saying equivalent to “time heals all wounds” might be attributable to Menander, a Greek poet who lived around 300 B.C. His exact words, translated to English, were “time is the healer of all necessary evils.” The modern popularity of the modern “time heals all wounds” might be attributable to a quote by Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy, who said:
“It has been said, ‘time heals all wounds.’ I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, safeguarding its sanity, covers them with scar tissue, and the pain lessens. But it is never gone."
Rose Kennedy’s interpretation of “time heals all wounds” negates the premise that some amount of time will guarantee complete healing. Conventional wisdom suggests that larger wounds require more time to heal. Still, Kennedy asserts that some wounds never fully heal, instead turning to scars and lesions that represent the original injury.
What can I say instead of “time heals all wounds”?
“Time heals all wounds” is often offered as a comforting saying, the intention being that the listener is reminded that, in time, their injury will fade. It is commonly said in response to emotional pain, such as the grieving process from losing a loved one, and may not be the most effective way of delivering comfort.
Instead of searching for a phrase that will deliver comfort and encouragement instantly, you may want to begin by simply listening to offer emotional support. People who are healing from emotional wounds often benefit from encouragement and validation, and it may be helpful to listen to their feelings and respond in a manner that encourages the person to believe that their feelings are valid.
You might remind them that you are ready to listen and encourage them to speak about their feelings. If they communicate their emotional healing challenges with you, respond in a non-judgemental and affirming manner. Try not to offer advice unless it is requested. The goal is to provide a safe, nurturing space for the wounded person to heal.
Why does healing take time?
No healing process is instant. Whether it is a physical injury or an emotional one, healing always follows the passage of time. This sometimes creates the impression that, as time passes, all wounds heal automatically. However, evidence suggests this is not the case. Many mental or physical wounds heal much quicker with intervention, and some wounds require professional help to heal properly.
The need for intervention is often much clearer for physical wounds. Very few people would offer platitudes like “time heals all wounds” to a person who is bleeding profusely or has a visibly broken bone. In contrast, it is common to hear about the healing powers of time when discussing emotional wounds.
Just as a person with a broken bone will likely require medical intervention to heal properly, as well as time, a person undergoing an emotional recovery process may require help to heal completely. Negative emotions can be difficult to recover from, and healing can stall regardless of how much time has passed. While it is true that all healing takes time, time is often not all that is required.
Does time alone ensure growth after a breakup?
Time is an important component of healing from a breakup, but it is not the only one that matters. Getting over a difficult breakup often requires facing the truth that the relationship has ended, engaging in self-reflection, and committing to personal growth. Obtaining both the time and resources to heal is equally important. There may be painful memories to overcome or profound sorrow to navigate, but most people need more than time to heal.
If engaging directly with your former relationship's thoughts is too difficult, it may be worthwhile to focus on good self-care routines instead. Turn your focus to getting regular exercise, eating a healthy diet, and getting enough sleep. A regular exercise routine is one of the best ways to improve emotional well-being and mental health. A healthy diet can keep you feeling physically well, and it is important not to deny yourself sleep or sleep too much while you are recovering. Practicing good self-care may help you from feeling worse during your recovery.
What does the Bible say about “time heals all wounds?”
The saying “time heals all wounds” is sometimes misattributed to the Bible, but it does not appear within its pages. The Bible does comment on healing wounds, but a better summary of what the Bible suggests might be “God heals all wounds.” Christianity recognizes that healing is an active act, and attributing healing to the passage of time alone makes it seem that healing occurs automatically.
The Bible eschews passivity when considering God’s role in healing. Rather than wait for time to pass, a Christian should instead rely on God and his Word to guide their healing. Whether that means seeking atonement or offering forgiveness, the Bible is clear that God heals wounds, but only with the participation of the wounded.
What does the saying “time is a great healer” mean?
The saying “time is a great healer” is one of many old sayings that allude to the healing powers of time. It is often misinterpreted to mean that time is the only thing required for healing, but evidence suggests that is false. Healing often requires intervention, effort, and dedication, in addition to time. The confusion likely arises due to the fact that all healing processes require time to complete, meaning time is necessary to heal from sorrow or other emotional wounds. However, just because time is necessary doesn’t mean that nothing else is required to heal.
Who said “time is the best healer”?
One of the earliest instances of a saying synonymous with “time is a great healer” may be attributable to the Greek poet Menander, who lived around 300 B.C. His exact words, translated from Greek, were, “Time is the healer of all necessary evils.” His words are likely one of the first written records of the conceptual link between healing and the passage of time.
What is the quote about time not healing?
Many quotes about time not healing stand in opposition to conventional wisdom, like “time heals all wounds.” One popular quote, attributed to Edith Edgar, succinctly illustrates the true power of time when healing:
“Time doesn’t heal. It’s what you do with the time. Healing is possible when we choose to release the wound, to let go of the past or the grief.”
Is forgiveness and patience part of the healing process?
What is the philosophy of time heals all wounds?
Where in the Bible does it say there is a time to heal?
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