Understanding The Empathy Definition: Enhancing Your Ability To Communicate Effectively
Empathy is a quality that can help us better understand how others feel, which can improve our capacity to communicate effectively and to act in a considerate manner. Without the many types of empathy, including cognitive and emotional empathy, building relationships and making decisions in social contexts can be significantly more complicated. Let’s explore exactly what empathy is and learn how you can develop a stronger sense of it to improve your interactions with others.
The empathy definition in psychology
What is empathy? The American Psychological Association (APA) defines empathy as the ability to understand another person from their frame of reference rather than your own. Many people assume that sympathy and empathy are interchangeable, but they aren’t exactly.
The difference between the definitions of sympathy and empathy
That’s why experiencing empathy is more useful when it comes to relationships and social situations. You don’t necessarily need to also feel offended by something that offends someone else, especially in the case of cognitive empathy. But being able to imagine why they might feel offended by that thing can help you respond appropriately. These may be emotional reactions or, in some cases, physical ones (as can be the case with empathy relating to the use of mirror neurons.)
Understanding the empathy definition
In other words, cultivating a reasonable sense of empathy can be what allows you to understand where another person’s coming from and be thoughtful in your own actions and responses as a result. Understanding the definition of empathy is crucial because this can be the foundation for stronger, smoother relationships since it can help both parties feel heard and assist everyone in avoiding insensitive missteps that can create or prolong conflicts.
Why empathy levels may vary among individuals
Empathy levels can vary for a number of reasons, one being the occurrence of empathy fatigue. Empathy fatigue refers to the change in a person’s empathetic capacity due to mental exhaustion (often relating to the care or support they have to provide for others.) In addition, a strong sense of empathy may not come naturally to everyone. Historically, individuals on the neurodivergent spectrum were typically associated with having lower levels of empathy, resulting in their difficulty reading the emotional responses or social cues of others. However, as a 2020 paper points out, this may well be a mischaracterization that has the potential to be harmful. In fact, it quotes other studies that cite the “hyperarousal of the empathic system” and “intense, uncontrollable empathy” often experienced by neurodivergent people. In actuality, it’s possible for both neurodivergent or neurotypical people to have a tendency to have too much emotional empathy (as well as other types), meaning they lose sight of their own needs and feelings in a situation that involves someone else’s personal distress.
Mental health conditions affecting feeling and ability to empathize
There are also some mental health conditions for which a lack or low levels of empathy may be a symptom. Those experiencing these conditions may struggle to feel the same emotion as someone else or understand their perspective. A few of these mental health conditions include:
- antisocial personality disorder
- borderline personality disorder
- narcissistic personality disorder
There’s also the condition of alexithymia, which is defined as “a personality trait characterized by difficulties identifying and describing feelings and an externally oriented thinking style”. It’s not a disorder per the DSM-5, but it can be the result of a traumatic brain injury, epilepsy, and other neurological diseases.
Finally, different individuals may simply experience empathy at different levels, whether due to genetics and neurological wiring or to the environment they grew up in. Some of these differences may be related to the hypothesized source of empathy, the medial prefrontal cortex. Research suggests that the prefrontal cortex, specifically the medial region, plays an important role in the experience of empathetic emotion. In addition, levels of empathy may vary depending on what type of empathy is being measured, with some people having different capacities for cognitive, emotional, and affective empathy. For those who are interested in increasing their sense of empathetic concern in order to improve their interactions with others, there are a variety of ways to work toward doing so.
Tips for cultivating a stronger feeling of empathy
Building a stronger sense of empathy requires developing one’s emotional intelligence, but is generally possible with time, effort, and patience. Here are some strategies to try if developing empathy at a higher level is something you are interested in.
Practice open communication in relationships
One powerful way to develop more empathy is to communicate openly in relationships, whether romantic, platonic, work-related, or otherwise, and to build a safe space where others can do the same. Try practicing active listening in an effort to gain a genuine understanding of where the other person is coming from, and work on getting in touch with and then communicating your own feelings as well.
Empathy and compassion
Empathy and compassion go hand in hand—if you notice a change in someone’s behavior that indicates they’re feeling a certain emotion, you might ask them about it—gently and with curiosity and compassion. Over time, you can learn a lot about how the way others’ emotions work.
Read fiction and psychology research about empathy
Studies suggest that reading fiction can help us develop empathy because it provides us with a window into the thoughts and feelings of a huge variety of different characters. The study was initially very popular, but it has since drawn criticism. As a 2016 Atlantic article put it, “Reading Literature Won’t Give You Superpowers”. It’s still possible that reading fiction can help people cultivate a stronger sense of empathy, or there may be an unrelated factor at play here. That said, reading about people whose lives and emotional worlds are different from our own may at least be helpful in exposing us to different perspectives, even if internalizing them doesn’t happen quite that easily.
You may also be able to understand empathy more clearly by looking into research done about the subject. One example would be the study conducted by Gleichgerrcht E. and Decety J. that looked into the relationship between different facets of empathy among physicians. This and other scientific research can shed light on how empathy affects different people and professions, potentially exposing you to perspectives you may not have considered.
Cultivate mindfulness
Mindfulness is the practice of developing a nonjudgmental sense of awareness. It’s been practiced by human beings for thousands of years, typically through meditation. One review of research on the relationship between mindfulness and empathy states that “The capacity to be aware of what is happening in the present moment, and to observe and describe one’s own emotions, would make the appearance of these capacities more likely in relationships with others”. It also cites other studies that support this theory more directly—such as one that found that 30 minutes of meditating per day “increased the density of gray matter in the brain regions associated with empathy”.
Consider seeking the support of a therapist
While exploring one’s empathic abilities through empathy tests is possible, working with a qualified therapist or counselor may be a better way to understand and increase your sense of empathy. It can also help you learn about other topics related to empathy, like emotional contagion. They can help you polish your communication and conflict-resolution skills, for instance, and devise strategies together that can help you experience empathy increases. They may also be able to offer support if you are struggling with an overabundance of empathy (like in the cases of those who experience empathic distress.) If a mental health condition is making it difficult for you to engage with people empathetically, they may be able to offer ideas for managing your symptoms.
Research suggests that both online and in-person therapy can offer similar benefits in many cases, which means you can typically choose the format that feels most comfortable for you. If you’re having trouble locating a provider in your area or simply prefer to engage in therapy from the comfort of your own home, online therapy may be an option to consider. With a platform like BetterHelp, for instance, you can get matched with a licensed therapist who you can meet with via phone, video call, and/or online chat to discuss the challenges you may be facing.
Takeaway
What is the true meaning of empathy?
The definition of empathy, according to the American Psychological Association, is “understanding a person from their frame of reference rather than one’s own, or vicariously experiencing that person’s feelings, perceptions, and thoughts.” Generally speaking, empathy is the ability to take someone else’s point of view. However, many people refer to that definition as “cognitive empathy,” which is only one of the types of empathy commonly discussed. Another type, affective empathy, refers to the ability to share the feelings of another person. A third type, compassionate empathy, goes beyond merely understanding or feeling another person’s experience; it also motivates people to take action and help a person in need.
What is empathy vs sympathy?
Sympathy is commonly defined as an emotional reaction toward the misfortune of another, especially those who are suffering unfairly. On the other hand, empathy refers to the ability to understand and accurately acknowledge the feelings and experiences of another person. Empathy commonly includes motivation to act and a desire to help someone in distress, while sympathy is akin to pity.
Is empathy good or bad?
Empathy is often a good thing, but it can have downsides. Empathizing with someone strongly may make it hard to focus on oneself, and a person may feel guilty if they cannot help someone in need. However, empathy is also one of the building blocks of society, encouraging social bonds and motivating humans to help those around them.
Why do I lack empathy?
Those who lack empathy often have trouble understanding and responding to others' emotions and circumstances. A lack of empathy can be caused by many things, including stress, poor parenting, or mental health conditions. In many cases, a person is capable of experiencing empathy, but understanding and responding to that feeling may be a challenge. In others, a person may feel uncomfortable empathizing with others despite having the ability to do so. Furthermore, there is evidence to suggest that empathy is reducing across society, and it is possible that there is less societal pressure to remain empathetic.
Why is it so powerful to empathize with others?
Empathy is thought to be a deeply rooted mechanism in the human brain that helps shape society. Empathy is not unique to humans. It can be observed in primates, dogs, and rats, among other animals. Researchers believe that empathy is essential for humans to work collectively, and it’s likely that an intrinsic ability to sense the feelings and circumstances of others helped early humanity form into large, collectivist societies. Even today, society recognizes the need for those who are deeply motivated to help others. Empathy and compassion likely play substantial roles in that motivational process.
What triggers empathy?
A person is often driven to feel empathy by observing another’s circumstances or by consciously choosing to envision how those same circumstances would make them feel. There is no definite trigger for empathy, and the triggering threshold likely differs considerably from person to person.
Can you demonstrate empathic behavior to someone through compassion?
One way to demonstrate empathy might be through compassionate acts. Compassion, which is closely related to both empathy and sympathy, literally means “to suffer together.” Therefore, compassionate acts often include gestures that reduce someone else's burden. If you feel empathy for another person, it may be worthwhile to see if there is anything you can do to lighten the load or improve their circumstances. While compassion doesn’t always require sacrifice, sufficient empathy may provide the motivation necessary to give some of your time, energy, and resources to a person in need.
Can empathy be taught?
There is debate surrounding whether empathy can be taught directly. However, skills related to empathy can likely be taught using typical methods. Generally, increasing empathy falls within the domain of bolstering emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is comprised of four domains: self-awareness, social awareness, social skills, and empathy. Self-awareness skills allow a person to understand their own emotions and how their emotions affect others. Social awareness refers to an ability to recognize the emotions of those around them and respond appropriately. Social skills are the abilities needed to connect with others. Self-awareness, social awareness, and social skills support empathy, and improving those skills will likely lead to more empathetic responses.
What is toxic empathy?
Toxic empathy is not a formal term, and it may have different definitions based on who is describing it. The term is commonly used to refer to those who struggle to place appropriate boundaries on their empathy. They may feel too much empathy for others or consistently prioritize others' needs above their own. Toxic empathy might lead to feelings of exhaustion, poor self-care, or persistent feelings of anxiety and depression. If you feel you may be experiencing toxic empathy, strongly consider meeting with a mental health professional. They can help you learn proactive skills to set boundaries in a healthy way and may be able to help you unpack the underlying factors that lead to overemphasizing.
What is the dark side of being empathetic?
While empathy is commonly considered necessary for society to function properly, it can sometimes have significant drawbacks. A highly empathetic person who struggles to set boundaries may experience toxic empathy, wherein they feel exhausted and overwhelmed because they are giving more empathy than they have to give. In another case, a person might exhibit vampiristic empathy. Vampiristic empathy occurs when a person manipulates those they empathize with to experience the world the way they want. Evidence also suggests that empathy can sometimes lead to in-grouping or polarization. In that case, an empathetic person recognizes that there are two or more sides to an issue but is also motivated to empathize with only those who take the side they prefer.
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