Coping With Social Anxiety And The Fear Of Being Judged

Social anxiety disorder is a prevalent mental illness involving frequent social anxiety and fear of judgment. People with social anxiety disorder are often classified as shy, withdrawn, indifferent, or unfriendly. However, these stereotypes can detract from the core fear and behaviors behind the condition.  

If you live with a fear of being judged, you might be experiencing symptoms of social anxiety disorder. It is possible to learn how to cope with these symptoms and find hope.

What is social anxiety disorder? 

Over 12.1% of US adults live with social anxiety disorder, an anxiety disorder listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-V). People with social anxiety disorder often live with extreme fear or worry of being judged by others and can find their daily life limited. They may have the desire to socialize, but they may freeze when they try to speak in front of others, especially around strangers or in a new environment. They could also have difficulty making eye contact in social situations.

Severe social anxiety may cause challenges in a professional or school environment, including situations involving one-on-one appraisals of knowledge, like an interview or test. Someone with social anxiety might feel devastated if teased or may interpret constructive criticism to the extreme. In addition, being the center of attention can prompt fear and exacerbate symptoms in people with social anxiety disorder.

People with social anxiety disorder may avoid situations that could cause anxiety responses and symptoms. As a result, they might be misunderstood by others or miss opportunities to enrich their lives. It may be helpful to note that people with social anxiety disorder often crave connection with other people. However, their symptoms and fears can make it challenging to do so.

Shyness, insecurity, and social anxiety in children

Some children feel ready to operate in a social environment away from their families by the time they go to school for the first time. However, other children experience extreme shyness, which may cause them to require more time to process their new surroundings. 

With patience, shy children can often be encouraged to socialize with patience. However, children who are teased, shamed, or ridiculed for being shy may develop a social phobia, which can lead to social anxiety disorder. They might not have learned to adapt to a social environment outside their family unit and start to fear social interaction with other people. Child guidance counseling that includes preparing your shy child for events may help them overcome the fear of new or unique situations.  

Shyness vs. social anxiety disorder

Note that having social anxiety is more than being "shy." Shyness is not a clinical diagnosis, but this trait can sometimes be a sign of social anxiety disorder. Not all shy children develop social anxiety, and not all people with social anxiety experience shyness as children. The official clinical diagnosis of social anxiety disorder is given only to adults, and only those who have experienced social anxiety symptoms for six months or more.

Ways to address social anxiety and the fear of being judged

There are several approaches to addressing the fear of judgment that can come with social anxiety disorder. 

Overcoming insecurity and fear of rejection through support groups

A support group may seem intimidating to people who fear social interactions. However, many public health organizations facilitate group therapy for individuals with social anxiety. Group therapy may be effective as a first step because a therapy group provides a safe, supportive environment to practice social interactions, cope with anxiety, and build confidence. 

It can also be validating to listen to the experiences of other people with social anxiety. You may find you're better at social interactions than you realize as you speak with others in the group. You may also form friendships that help you practice social interactions outside the therapeutic setting.

Challenging your thoughts 

Challenging your thoughts through exercises like cognitive restructuring may help you reduce worries about others negatively judging your values or criticizing your work. For example, you might acknowledge that other people are people like you, preoccupied with their own problems and solutions. They may not be as focused on your behavior, vocal tone, or eye contact as you are. 

Preparing yourself for new situations 

Practicing realistic thinking might not prevent the panic you feel before an interview or the despair at the thought of attending a class reunion, as social anxiety disorder can have a biological component. For that reason, a multi-faceted approach can help you teach your body relaxation and gain the tools to experience success and confidence. 

Prepare yourself to enter new environments and face new people and situations. Practice facing challenges in the safety of your home and among close friends. For example, you can role-play an interview with a friend or family member before it occurs. 

Meditating or practicing mindfulness to manage self-consciousness

Some people find value in meditating or mindfulness practice before attending an appointment, interview, or social function that causes anxiety. To start a mindfulness practice, try the following techniques: 

• Breathing exercises 
• Listening to music 
• Completing a physical workout 
• Showering 
• Using a guided meditation app 
• Progressive muscle relaxation
•  Visualization 

With practice, these methods may train your nervous system and body's anxiety response to slow down, giving you the confidence to handle anxiety when it arises.

Addressing the fear of public speaking

For people living with social anxiety disorder, the fear of being judged can interfere with their academic and career performance. It might hinder the ability to speak in public and could make social gatherings awkward. If the person’s social anxiety is severe, they might avoid academic and professional pursuits altogether, potentially resulting in missed opportunities. 

If you have had social anxiety since early childhood and fear public speaking, you may start by learning more about socialization, especially if you haven't had many positive social experiences. When social anxiety disorder becomes so extreme that it impacts many aspects of your life or causes depression, consider speaking to a mental health professional for further support. In severe cases, a licensed medical professional may be able to provide medical assistance, including medication used to treat anxiety disorders or immediate panic.

Professional support for self-consciousness and fear of rejection

Studies show that people who experience complex emotions related to social phobia can benefit from the support of online therapy, as it removes some of the social pressure that could be a barrier to treatment for people with this condition. In a study published in the Journal of Medical Internet Research, the effects of online cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) on people living with social anxiety disorder and social phobia were examined. Treatment involved a nine-week online CBT program. After treatment, participants reported significant reductions in symptoms of social anxiety disorder, in addition to decreases in depression and generalized anxiety disorder and an increase in overall quality of life. These improvements were sustained at a five-year follow-up. 

These results indicate how online therapy can provide patients with social agency. As an example, people can choose their communication method with an online therapist, with phone, video, or chat sessions as typical options.

If you're experiencing symptoms of social anxiety disorder, you may not feel comfortable meeting face-to-face to talk with a therapist. Through an online platform like BetterHelp, you can participate in therapy treatment from home. Some online platforms offer asynchronous messaging with your therapist, allowing you to ask questions outside of sessions and bring up points you may have felt too nervous to mention during therapy.