What Is Empathy? Meaning And Examples
Empathy is a natural way for humans to relate to each other. So why do some people seem to be more in tune with this sense than others? How does it differ from sympathy? If you’re trying to strengthen your sense of empathy, where should you start? Read on for answers to all of the above.
What is empathy? Meaning and comparison with sympathy
The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines empathy as “the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner”. In other words, it’s the ability to put yourself in another’s shoes and imagine how they must feel in a given situation. A sense of empathy can guide your own decision-making in some cases and is often an important component of strong interpersonal relationships. Empathy is also a key component of emotional intelligence.
Empathy vs. sympathy
These two terms are sometimes used interchangeably, but there’s actually a subtle difference between empathy and sympathy. One explanation is that sympathy refers to feeling someone’s pain when you actually feel it as well, whereas empathy involves being able to imagine how someone else might be feeling even if you don’t have that emotion at the time.
Under this explanation, sympathy is feeling sad for a friend who is sad after experiencing a loss, whereas empathy is imagining or understanding how someone might be suffering after experiencing a loss. While the nuanced differences can be unclear in some situations, empathy is typically the concept people refer to as being important for social functioning and relationships.
If you are experiencing trauma, support is available. Please see our Get Help Now page for more resources.
The three forms of empathy
Empathy is often referred to as a general term, but according to a 2018 paper, it can actually be broken down into three distinct types.
Affective empathy
This type refers to being able to identify with others or put yourself in their shoes. It’s the feelings-based ability to recognize suffering in another and even be moved to show them support and care. Because it’s emotions-based, however, the paper cited above notes that it can lead to an unequal distribution of caring and/or burnout over time.
An example of affective empathy would be feeling concern for a friend who is going through a difficult divorce and potentially offering them comfort and support as well. You understand why they are upset because you’re putting yourself in their position. If the phenomenon of “emotional contagion” (also called “emotional empathy”) takes hold, you may even actually experience some of the pain they’re feeling.
Cognitive empathy
Although all types of empathy are rooted in hardwired care for the well-being of others, this type is the most logic-based. It refers to the ability to share in the experience of someone’s situation without actually feeling their pain, enabling the empathetic individual to maintain their sense of self and be realistic about the change they can enact. It’s helpful for people who work in caring professions since it allows them to keep space between their work and themselves instead of burning out or feeling helpless in the face of suffering.
An example of cognitive empathy would be understanding why your friend gets enjoyment out of a certain hobby, even if you don’t personally find it enjoyable. Or, it could look like understanding why the villains in a book or movie made the choices they did, even if you don’t agree with them. Cognitive empathy is all about understanding another person’s situation even if you don’t necessarily identify with it personally.
Somatic empathy
The paper cited above defines this type as “responding to pain and sorrow in others by physically experiencing the same pain through proximity to them”, a phenomenon made possible by the brain’s mirror neurons. It can be the first step in triggering mitigating action in response to the pain witnessed or felt. As the paper cited above notes: “The somatic response can be the kindling that starts the fire of empathy” if the person takes action as a result of feeling it.
While somatic empathy is a rarer type, there are a few examples of it that you may be familiar with. For instance, a twin might feel physical pain when their sibling is injured, or the partner of someone who is experiencing labor pains might experience some physical pain themselves.
Can empathy be increased?
A sense of empathy and compassion may come more easily to some people than others. One study found that genetics account for 10% of the variation in natural empathy levels among people. Where the other 90% comes from is still being researched, but hormones and social conditioning likely each play a role. However, it is true that a person can increase their own capacity for empathy, even if their natural levels are a bit lower. According to one researcher in the field, simply believing that empathy is a mutable trait can bolster a person’s capacity for feeling it. In addition to adopting this growth mindset, here are a few other ways to improve your sense of empathy.
Consume more stories
Whether it’s reading a work of fiction or watching a play, exposing yourself to stories where the characters face challenges that you have not personally faced can increase your capacity for empathy. Engaging with these fictional stories may allow us to exercise our “social cognitive abilities”, according to a 2018 study.
Put yourself in a new context
Spending time with people who are different from you and in places that are unfamiliar can help you increase your sense of empathy, too. This could take the form of consuming media from diverse backgrounds or participating in cultures that are different from your own. Paying careful attention in these situations can help you take in the perspectives of others and be moved by their experiences, which is an ability you can then begin to apply in other situations.
Identify similarities
Another method for increasing empathy is to focus on what you have in common with others—even those you disagree with or feel distant from.
For instance, relating to a colleague about your common hometown or your kids of similar ages can help you see past your different personalities or views on workplace politics. You might also open yourself to situations where you’re working toward a common goal with people who are different from you. A 2008 study found that simply being placed on the same work team for an activity can increase cooperation and positive feelings among teammates due to the development of an in-group effect.
Be willing to learn
Finally, simply being open to learning about people and their experiences is a powerful way to increase your ability to feel empathy. Judging others simply for being different than you won’t be helpful in this pursuit. Instead, being curious, asking questions, and having an open mind will make you far more likely to be able to identify common ground with someone.
How a therapist can help you foster the ability to take on another’s perspective
Meeting with a mental health professional is another way you may be able to improve your sense of empathy. They can offer you a different perspective on how you normally approach new people and situations. If you’re suppressing your emotions in general due to past experiences of trauma, for example, they can help you work through that so you can be more open to others. If your patterns of thinking about yourself and others contain cognitive distortions—perhaps due to a mental health condition like depression—they can help you learn to recognize and shift those. In other words, they can offer a safe, nonjudgmental space where you can openly discuss and work through any challenges you may be facing.
If you prefer to receive the support of a mental health professional from the comfort of your own home, online therapy is an option. With a platform like BetterHelp, you can get matched with a licensed therapist who you can meet with via phone, video call, and/or chat. A study from 2021 even found that patients perceived their therapists as “significantly more empathetic and supportive in the remote setting”. This finding is important because previous research has found that “client empathetic perception measures” can predict good treatment outcomes. That means you may be able to benefit from your therapist’s sense of empathy even as you increase your own capacity for it.
Takeaway
Empathy allows us to relate to people and to take care of each other. If you’d like to increase your capacity for feeling empathy, the strategies listed here may be able to help.
Frequently asked questions
What is the meaning of empathy?
The true meaning of empathy may vary slightly between people. Still, the overall definition of empathy remains to understand the experiences, thoughts, and feelings of another person in a sensitive way. Empathy is the ability to see things from another person's point of view and imagine how they feel. For example, suppose your friend has just experienced a significant loss or is struggling emotionally. In that case, you may practice empathy by imagining their inner pain and the many obstacles they may face when coping.
What is the difference between empathy and sympathy?
While empathy means having the ability to identify with someone else's experience and imagine how that person feels, sympathy is sharing someone's feelings. If you have sympathy, you might feel sad for your friend who is struggling emotionally, but you might not be able to understand their direct experience on an inner level.
Types of empathy
- Affective empathy: The ability to share feelings and emotional connections with others.
- Cognitive empathy: The ability to understand what others are thinking and how they feel.
- Somatic empathy: The ability to understand another's emotional state by experiencing the same or similar physical pain through proximity.
Types of sympathy
- Passive sympathy: Feeling for someone without taking action.
- Active sympathy: Expressing feelings of compassion or seeking to help ease the burden.
Is empathy good or bad?
Overall, empathy is a good quality that has many benefits. Putting yourself in another person's shoes can strengthen your bonds with others, promote prosocial behaviors, and help you build a strong support network. It can help guide your ability to make sound decisions and resolve conflicts. Studies even indicate that practicing empathy can cultivate greater self-sufficiency and overall well-being.
However, empathy can be harmful without balance. Feeling others' experiences, particularly painful ones, can contribute to emotional overload and create "empathetic distress" that affects one's own mental health.
Why do I lack empathy?
Empathy typically exists on a spectrum; therefore, it's uncommon for an individual to lack empathy completely. They may have a diminished sense of empathy, but most people can develop it with time and mindfulness. There are several potential factors associated with reduced empathy, including:
- Upbringing, genetics
- Social or cultural factors, life experiences
- Certain personality disorders
- Alexithymia
- Autism
- Stress and burnout
- Low emotional intelligence
If you think you might lack empathy but aren't sure, there are some signs that may indicate you could benefit from cultivating greater empathy and compassion for others:
You believe you could emotionally cope with challenging situations better than others (or that it couldn't happen to you at all)
For example, if your friend is having a particularly difficult time coping with a breakup and you're dismissive of their experience because you think you could deal with it and move on more quickly than them, you may have room for cultivating more empathy. Consider taking another look at the situation from a more intensive perspective or try comparing it with a similar experience you've had in your own life.
You're judgmental or critical
People who blame others for their experience without considering the potential extenuating circumstances might have difficulty experiencing empathy. If you are quick to judge, criticize others for having certain emotions in certain situations, or blame others for their emotional discomfort, you might have a lack of empathy for others.
You're dismissive of others' feelings
People with diminished empathy may discard another person's feelings as "too sensitive" or question their motives for expressing their feelings. For example, when someone struggles emotionally after a breakup, someone with limited empathy may accuse them of vying for attention or sympathy. They may tell them to "suck it up" because they're overreacting, and it's really not that bad.
You have difficulty understanding how your words and behaviors affect other people
People with low levels of empathy may behave in hurtful ways or say hurtful things to others without considering or caring about the emotional consequences. While it isn't uncommon for this to happen unintentionally sometimes, it might be a sign of a lack of empathy when it's a personality trait. This also includes responding hurtfully to other people's pain—such as joking about it or acting indifferent.
Why is empathy so powerful?
Empathy is powerful because it allows an individual to connect with others and offer support on a deeper level. People with empathy can significantly impact the world around them by promoting understanding in others and encouraging others to practice empathy, too. It's a cornerstone of effective leadership and an effective way to learn from others.
What triggers empathy?
It can be hard to conceptualize the means by which humans can experience the feelings of others. Scientists studying empathy posit a couple of theories related to empathy that may explain how and why people experience it.
Views on empathy: Meaning of simulation theory and theory of the mind
The first is called simulation theory, which proposes that empathy occurs when we see another person experiencing an emotion and then simulate it in ourselves so we may understand how it feels. Research indicates this may happen at a neurological level with the activation of mirror neurons when one observes and experiences the emotions and behaviors of others.
The second theory of empathy is called the theory of mind. This theory assumes that empathy is guided by a cognitive understanding of how one should think or feel based on what we've learned through experience or societal and familial rules. Studies on the mechanisms and origins of empathy are ongoing, and there isn't a unified consensus on what causes empathy to date, but many believe it's most likely a combination of factors.
How do you develop the ability to take on another’s perspective?
There are multiple ways you can show empathy to others. Often, the best way to do this is by actively listening and staying mindful of the other person's nonverbal cues, such as body language or facial expressions. You might make a concerted effort to get to know people better by learning more about them and asking questions.
If you don't agree with someone, you might cultivate empathy by trying to understand their point of view through the context of their lives and experiences. Try to find commonalities between your own life experiences and theirs. Thinking back to a similar circumstance and how you felt during that time might help you identify with what they're going through.
Can empathy be taught?
Multiple studies show that empathy and compassion can be taught through modeling behaviors, particularly in children early in life. There are a few factors beyond modeling by others that may determine whether an individual can effectively learn empathy:
- The ability to cultivate an empathetic mindset: A desire to learn empathy can drive people to develop it by making a concerted effort to listen and learn about other's experiences. People who are motivated to try harder to empathize with others, even if it doesn't come naturally, are more likely to learn how to empathize better over time.
- Exposure to different perspectives: When individuals participate in an unfamiliar culture or interact with others who are different from them, they might be more able to learn empathy. Regular exposure to people with different backgrounds and points of view can be a significant factor in whether an individual can learn empathy.
- Self-awareness: Individuals who are self-aware and able to notice when they're having a hard time relating to others might be able to learn empathy more deeply and effectively.
What is toxic empathy?
Toxic empathy refers to the tendency to over-empathize with others without boundaries or balance. People who over-emphasize may feel drained and stressed after spending time with people experiencing emotionally challenging situations. This is sometimes called empathetic distress, or a tendency to absorb and internalize other people's pain as their own.
What is the dark side of being empathetic?
In addition to stress and anxiety created by over-empathizing, there are other ways that empathy might cause more harm than good. For example, some people have the capacity to empathize with others but might use that ability for self-serving purposes. Research refers to these types of people as "dark empaths." Dark empaths can often recognize another person's point of view cognitively or even relate to them emotionally, but traits of narcissism, psychopathy, or Machiavellianism compel such individuals to use their empathetic ability to exploit others.
- Previous Article
- Next Article