Envious Vs. Jealous: The Differences Between Envy And Jealousy

What is the danger of being envious?

Casting an envious eye can sometimes come with unintended consequences. Envy is a hostile emotion involving feelings of inferiority, frustration, and resentment. It can lead to personal feelings of shame due to unpleasant social comparisons, which has the potential to undermine relationships with friends, family, and coworkers severely. 

Envy not only harms social relationships, it can significantly hamper physical health. Envy increases negative feelings, which is associated with a significant reduction in overall well-being. While everyone is envious sometimes, chronic envy may significantly reduce physical and mental health by reducing positive social interactions, introducing shameful social comparisons, and reducing health-supporting behavior. 

What makes people envious vs. jealous?

Evidence suggests that envy is a painful reaction to an unflattering social comparison. When one person perceives another who has something they want for themselves, it can create intense hostility, frustration, and resentment. The evidence further suggests that envy is the most profound when the social comparison is made between another person of similar social standing. 

For example, imagine a mid-level manager in a large company. If they see another employee of a similar rank and position with something they want for themselves - like a bigger office or nicer car - they are likely to feel envy. In contrast, if the person sees someone of a substantially higher position, like the CEO, with something they want for themselves, they are not as likely to feel envy. 

What happens when you are envious?

When people express envy, they are likely experiencing an unfavorable social comparison with someone they consider similar to themselves. For example, imagine two employees with similar positions in a large organization. If one employee has a large office, expensive car, or other perks of success, the other employee may become envious. In contrast, the lower-ranked employee is less likely to feel envious if the person holds a substantially higher position, like a C-suite executive. 

Ultimately, how a person responds to envy likely depends on whether the envy is malicious or benign. The word “envious”  traces its roots back to the Latin invidiosus, one translation of which is “arousing hatred.” Indeed, envy is commonly considered a hostile emotion that can significantly affect overall well-being. However, envy can also be a constructive force, which is typically the case with benign envy. 

Those experiencing malicious envy are more likely to harm others to achieve their goals and are less likely to display prosocial behavior overall.  In contrast, those experiencing benign envy are likely to experience an increase in motivation resulting from envy to correct the undesired social comparison. 

How does envy affect your life?

Envy is commonly considered a hostile emotion frequently detrimental to overall well-being, which is true in many cases. However, evidence suggests that envy can also serve as a powerful motivator and may help people identify strategies that move them closer to their goals. When envy motivates, it is commonly referred to as benign envy. 

Contrasting benign envy is malicious envy, which is associated with adverse effects on the person experiencing it and those around them. Envy can substantially lower the quality of social relationships and is linked to an increased risk of developing depression. It can also lead to fewer health-promoting behaviors and worse physical health overall. Envy may harm social relationships by lowering prosocial behaviors - actions that help others - and increasing antisocial behaviors - actions that harm others. 

How does envy affect others?

Envy is associated with lower-quality social relationships and a reduction in prosocial behavior, which are actions that help other people. An envious person is more likely to harm others to achieve their goals, and evidence suggests that envy is associated with Machiavellian and antisocial behaviors, both of which are associated with the Dark Triad of personality. 

Machiavellianism is characterized by a tendency to manipulate others to achieve a goal, and antisociality is frequently associated with a callous and impulsive disregard for the feelings of others. These traits can have substantial adverse effects on other people and likely contribute to the lowered quality of interpersonal relationships. 

Why should we not envy others?

Conventional wisdom suggests that envy is harmful to oneself and others. The word “envy” dates back to the Middle English period, nearly seven centuries ago, when it appeared in a version of the Bible. Envying is also likely similar to the biblical “coveting,” such as in the 10th commandment: “Thou shalt not covet.” It is likely that moral conceptions of envy date thousands of years, perhaps even to prehistory. 

Over the ages, moral leaders have connected envy with antisocial behaviors like greed, manipulation, and exploitation. Envy is also known to have an adverse effect on a person’s own health and well-being, as well as those around them. It is associated with lower-quality social relationships and an increased likelihood of depression. In contrast, expressing gratitude and pity - two emotions that oppose envy - is associated with an increase in overall well-being. 

Are envious people insecure?

Envy likely results from unfavorable social comparisons, when a person believes that someone else has something they want or that the other person does not deserve what they have.  Social comparisons are associated with insecurity and lowered self-esteem; envy likely correlates with a poor self-image. Some of the best advice for managing envy involves strategies that directly improve self-esteem, like focusing on self-improvement, gratitude, and positivity. 

How do you deal with envious people?

An envious person can seriously harm those around them. A person experiencing envy is more likely to disregard the well-being of others while pursuing their goals and may be willing to manipulate or exploit them to compete with another person’s success. An envious look may initiate an envious attack, including insults, excessive bragging, sarcasm, or other strategies that make another person feel bad about themselves. 

Surviving an envy attack likely comes down to disregarding what the attacker is doing to minimize you. Don’t rise to their insults and return criticism; the person is trying to rattle you. You may also want to remind yourself that you don’t need to apologize for your success or good fortune because someone else feels you don’t deserve it. 

How do you manage envy?

The concept of envy has existed for thousands of years, represented in the old French “envieus” and the Anglo-Norman “envius.” Moral and spiritual leaders have espoused the importance of managing envy for centuries, and letting it go unchecked may significantly impact mental and physical well-being. 

Managing envy is generally best accomplished by focusing on you as an individual first, then focusing on the situation causing envy. One type of envy, often called “benign envy,” is not associated with many adverse outcomes and may serve as a powerful motivator. However, its counterpart, malicious envy, is more common and substantially more harmful. If you’re feeling significant frustration, insecurity, or resentment due to envy, here are a few things you can try:

• Use decisive language. Try to reframe the situation that is causing your envy as one where you are in charge. For example, instead of framing yourself as the victim and saying, “I’ve been mistreated,” try to use language that puts you in control, like “What have I learned from this situation that can bring me closer to my goals?”
• Count your strengths. Take note of the positive things in your life, such as your accomplishments and strengths. Envy can cloud the good things in your life, and expressing gratitude for a personal blessing may make envious feelings less burdensome.  
• Seek feedback for improvement. You may want to work with others to help you achieve your desired goal. Remember to focus on yourself and not on whatever is causing your envy. Consider seeking feedback and guidance from others to help you identify self-improvement goals that will take you closer to success.  

Does envy cause jealousy?

Envy and jealousy are commonly treated as synonyms in daily conversation, but they are distinct and different feelings. Envy is commonly defined as a perceived lack of something of value, while jealousy is a response to a perceived loss of something of value. For example, a person who sees their coworker with a new luxury car and wants the same for themselves is likely experiencing envy, while a person who becomes anxious when their romantic partner interacts with an attractive person is likely experiencing jealousy. 

Envy and jealousy can occur together, but jealousy is caused by a threat of loss rather than a desire for something of high value. Therefore, jealousy can occur without envy or a desire for something the person does not have, although the two emotions may feel difficult to distinguish.

Envious vs. jealous: What’s the difference?

Envy is an emotion characterized by feelings of discontent, longing, or covetousness regarding someone else's advantages, achievements, possessions, or qualities. It can arise when we desire something that someone else has—whether it be their success, talent, or material possessions—without necessarily wishing harm to the other person. Meanwhile, jealousy is an emotion that typically arises in the context of relationships, characterized by fear, concern, or insecurity over a perceived threat to a valued relationship or loss of attention or affection to someone else.