Where To Turn When You're Experiencing Emotional Lows
Sadness is a normal human emotion that virtually everyone, including adults and kids, experiences from time to time. It can also be a complex and diverse feeling with different causes and manifestations from person to person. Mental health experts in social psychology emphasize that it's essential to acknowledge and address these emotions instead of suppressing them, as doing so might cause more harm in the long run.
Remember that there is support available for you when you're feeling sad, regardless of the cause. For example, talking to a trusted family member or friend can provide a positive response, helping you to refocus and overcome negative emotions. Spending time engaging in activities like writing, listening to music, or seeking self help resources can also be beneficial. Additionally, don't hesitate to reach out to a professional if you notice other symptoms or have trouble coping with your negative emotions.
5 things to keep in mind when you’re feeling sad
If you’re currently dealing with feelings of sadness, you’re not alone. Here are five things to remember as you experience this emotion.
1. Some sadness is a normal part of the human experience
This fact does not make what you’re feeling any less real or valid. In actuality, you may find comfort in the matter that this emotion is essentially a universal one. It’s considered to be a normal reaction to disappointments, hurt, loss, and other situations that many of us experience over the course of our lives, from school to past events. Sometimes, the perspective that this feeling will not last forever and that many other people are experiencing it at this very moment can help you focus on the situation and feel less alone. A study found that spending time to write about your emotions can aid in processing them, eventually allowing you to stop feeling sad and overcoming the shame associated with feeling wrong for being sad.
2. Persistent sadness may be a sign of a mood disorder
While feeling sad is typically a core symptom of depression, experiencing sadness does not necessarily equate with this mental health condition. According to the Anxiety & Depression Association of America (ADAA), there are nine key symptoms of depression, and a mental health professional will usually identify at least five before considering a depression diagnosis. Also typically taken into account is how long the feelings of sadness have been going on. The ADAA says that symptoms must last for two weeks or longer and significantly impair a person’s functioning in some way for depression to be a possible cause.
These details are not intended to serve as a tool for self-diagnosing depression but rather as information to help you try and differentiate between normal feelings of sadness and persistent feelings that may indicate a mental health condition. If you feel that your sadness has lasted longer or been more debilitating than may be healthy, it might be worthwhile to seek the help of a therapist. It’s important to note, however, that you don’t need to have a mood disorder or a suspected mood disorder to work with a therapist. They can help people with all different types of feelings as a result of all different types of situations. We’ll discuss this more below.
3. People work through emotions like sadness differently
The human experience is broad and diverse, so it follows that sadness won’t look the same in every person. Some people appear relatively stoic on the outside, and may not even pause their routine to process sad feelings. Others are more likely to cry or want to talk it out with a friend or family member. Some people need alone time to work through an emotion like this, while others prefer to throw themselves into work, exercise, or a project to process. Some take a bit longer to recover from a sad situation, while others can often bounce back more quickly. Plus, there are many different types and sources of sadness. There’s the deep grief from loss, the acute disappointment of a missed opportunity, and many, many others in between. People will handle different types of sadness in different ways, and in different amounts of time.
In other words, everyone feels sad for different reasons and any healthy way in which you process that sadness is okay. There’s no one right way to do it, or one set timeline for getting through it. The best approach is usually to be patient and gentle with yourself and avoid making yourself feel worse for not handling the situation the same way other people might.
4. In general, emotions are temporary
Though it’s often hard to remind ourselves of this in the moment, emotions are temporary by their very nature. (An exception, of course, is those who are experiencing prolonged periods of certain emotions like sadness, which may be a symptom of a mood disorder or other mental health conditions.) They’re called “emotional states” because they come and go over time. The purpose of this point isn’t to invalidate what you feel.
Rather, the knowledge that you won’t always feel sad may help you keep a healthy perspective on any tough emotion you may be experiencing.
You’ve moved through other hard emotional states in your lifetime, and you have the power and ability to do so again.
5. There’s help available
Another important fact you may want to remind yourself of during periods of sadness is that there’s support available to help you through difficult times and emotions. Read on for some potential answers to the question: Where can I turn when I’m feeling sad?
Note: If you’re feeling particularly low right now, resources are available to provide immediate help and support. For example, suicide prevention hotlines provide support to those in crisis.*
If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts or urges, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988. Support is available 24/7.
Where to turn when you feel sad
Turning to family, friends, and other trusted sources of social support is a common way for people to deal with feelings of sadness. Research has shown that strong social support networks correlate with better psychological and even physical health. For those who lack these avenues of support in their lives, one study found that online friends and connections may be able to play a similar role. If you have connections like these in your life, leaning on them when you’re sad can be a good way to vent, feel supported, and even get advice if needed.
Even though happiness comes from within, all of us need other human relationships in our lives. Don’t wait for your friends to contact you. Reach out and see how they are doing. A friendship shouldn’t be only about what you get from it. You will get more when you are also giving to the relationships you have with your friends, and that is why you need to know who you are first. You can only give yourself if you know what you have to give.
If you don’t have a strong friend group, you may want to consider building one. Don’t rush it.
It’s okay to be choosy about who you spend time with. After all, we often become like the people we spend the most time with. The best way to form friendships is to be interested in the other person’s values. Find people who hold the same things important as you do. Start by getting out of the house and going places where groups of people who are interested in the activities you enjoy. This could be painting classes, reading groups, concerts, or anything else that relates to your interests.
Keep your body healthy
There are many things to do when feeling sad, including keeping your body healthy and physically fit. Mental health does not come from some magical invisible space. Your mind is also a part of your body, and it needs nourishment and oxygen, just like the rest of you. In fact, one of the best things you can do to take care of your mental health is to take care of your physical health. All the processes in your brain need good nutrition from healthy eating. Also, exercise pumps more oxygen into your brain, which is absolutely necessary for its proper functioning.
In addition to that, you will feel better when your body feels its best. Taking care of your body gives you more energy to do the things that make you happy. Exercise releases feel-good chemicals in your brain, supporting feelings of happiness and satisfaction with your life. You also should not underestimate the boost to your confidence and self-image when you know your body looks its best. This does not mean trying to look perfect because there is no such thing. All of our bodies are different, but taking care of health, fitness, and hygiene allows us to appreciate the beauty each of us has.
Learn to be alone happily
Do you find that you feel sad every time you don’t have someone else with you? Feeling happy while alone is a necessary skill for all people to learn. It doesn’t mean you have to prefer being alone if you are a people person. However, knowing yourself and being comfortable with yourself is an important step in forming healthy friendships and relationships. When you are alone, take that time to discover and practice the things you enjoy most.
Laugh
Laughter and smiling can actually trigger your brain to feel happier. When you’re feeling down, listen to your favorite comedian, read a funny story, or watch a silly movie. It’s healthy to laugh regularly. If you have a funny friend, make it a point to spend more time with them. They’ll probably enjoy having someone to laugh with too.
Am I down or am I actually depressed?
It can be difficult to tell when sadness feelings evolve into a bout of depression. Depression can be caused by various aspects of mental health, and it also can be caused by a trigger that starts as normal sadness. But typically, sadness that affects your daily functioning for more than a few weeks should be treated as possible depression. Only a mental health professional can formally diagnose depression, and it’s a good idea to see someone for diagnosis if your sadness is causing problems for several weeks or more. Signs of depression include the inability to eat, wieght loss or gain, inability to sleep, difficulty making decisions, and inability to enjoy activities you previously enjoyed. Depression can quickly lead to some diseases, conditions, or other health problems. Some secondary conditions related to depression include:
- Heart disease
- Bone loss
- Diabetes
- Eating disorders
- Generally weakened immune system
Sometimes, depression is caused by an event that you would normally be able to cope with. If you suspect you have depression, do not judge yourself for your inability to cope. The condition is often a result of your coping abilities gradually breaking down because of cumulative stress. Unlike short-term bouts of sadness, either with or without a direct cause, depression may not go away with processing time and self-care. You should seek medical treatment for depression in order to prevent worsening health.
Preventing a downward spiral
On the days when you wake up feeling like doing nothing, it can be easy to let sadness strengthen its hold over you and sap your energy. But it’s on those days that it is actually most important to get up and get yourself moving. How do you do that when you have no motivation because you are feeling sad? The best thing to do is to establish a daily routine.
How to not feel sad by establishing a routine
A therapist or behavioral health professional can also be a valuable resource when you’re sad, regardless of the reason. Whether it’s due to a challenging situation, a mood disorder, or another cause, they can help you get to the root of your emotions and equip you with strategies to manage them. If you feel more comfortable, you can even seek the assistance of a therapist virtually. One study found virtual therapy to be “effective, acceptable, and practical healthcare” for conditions like depression, anxiety, and other challenges people may be facing. An online therapy service like BetterHelp can connect you with a therapist who you can meet with from home, which may be a more available and comfortable option for some people. Regardless of how you prefer to seek therapy, there are mental health professionals available out there to help you process your emotions.
Finally, while handling feelings of sadness completely on your own may not always be a viable or healthy option, it is generally a good idea to work on building your own emotional resilience. Teaching yourself how to adapt to different situations and emotional states and to work through them rather than getting stuck in them can be helpful in managing what life may send your way in the future. Journaling, meditation, and physical exercise can all contribute to a sense of resilience, as can working with a trained therapist.
Takeaway
Feeling sad from time to time is generally a normal part of the human experience. Whether you’re feeling this way because of a situation you’re facing, because you suspect you may have a mood disorder, or for another reason, a trained mental health professional can help you work through these emotions in a healthy, constructive way. Remember: There’s always someone you can turn to for support when you feel sad.
What to do if you are unhappy?
If your mental health has been low, you may wonder if you should push your feelings aside or confront them. While it can be very difficult to discuss topics like sadness and depression, persistent feelings of unhappiness are unlikely to improve on their own and left untreated they can become severe.
Reaching out to a loved one, calling a crisis lifeline (like the SAMHSA National Helpline), scheduling an appointment with your doctor, and reaching out to a talk therapist can all be good starting points when you feel depressed or unhappy. Even if you don’t have clinical depression, these outlets can provide support, education, comfort, and tools for feeling better.
How do you comfort an unhappy person?
When someone you care about is unhappy, you might not know what to say or be worried about saying the wrong thing.
While many people say things like, “Don’t be sad,” or, “Be happy, there’s plenty of people who have it worse off than you,” with good intentions, these statements can be hurtful and invalidating of their emotions. Instead, it’s recommended that you focus on actively listening to them without interjecting or offering advice, validating their emotions, and encouraging them to talk about how they feel instead of encouraging them to hide it.
The exact approach that will work best for them depends on who they are and the type of relationship you share with them, but generally, validating their emotions and actively listening are regarded as most helpful for people experiencing sadness.
Why do humans cry?
Crying is a complex symptom of many overwhelming emotions, such as sadness, surprise, grief, anger, or love. Some scientists theorize that tears signal social bonding and vulnerability. A hypothesis supporting this theory is that other types of tears (such as chemical tears produced when chopping onions), run more quickly down the face, whereas emotional tears contain more proteins that make them viscose and stick to the face—thus signaling your emotional overwhelm to others.
Is it okay to be unhappy?
Negative emotions, like unhappiness, are often viewed as emotions that you should stop. But, while occasional unhappiness can be uncomfortable, there are some benefits to it. For example, unhappiness can give you time to reflect on painful situations, and it can motivate you to take actions that improve your life.
Additionally, while society might promote constant happiness, it would be unattainable in reality. Emotions naturally ebb and flow, and uncomfortable emotions are important ways our bodies communicate information to us.
How do you express unhappiness?
It can be nerve wracking to share your feelings with someone, especially if you worry that they’ll judge you or dismiss you. To communicate your feelings clearly and without putting them on the defense, consider the following:
Write down and practice what you want to say before you have the conversation
Think about what kind of support you want from them
Use “I” statements to avoid accidently assigning blame
If there’s something specific that you’re unhappy about, tell them
Overall, making decisions about what you want to say beforehand, and communicating your feelings in a clear and direct way, may be helpful when starting a conversation about unhappiness. The content of your conversation may differ depending on your relationship with this person. For example, the details you share may differ if you’re having a discussion with a parent, romantic partner, or boss.
Why do I never feel satisfied with myself?
It can be exhausting when nothing you do seems to be like enough. It can be a sign of perfectionism, imposter syndrome, negativity bias, rumination, boredom, negative self-talk, self-criticism, or low self-esteem.
If you can’t seem to find satisfaction despite your best efforts, you might benefit from talking to a therapist. Though a licensed therapist cannot provide you with medical advice, they can give you tools to reframe the way you think and talk to yourself, which can help you feel more accomplished and prouder of your efforts.
What not to do when comforting someone?
When you’re comforting someone, there are some things that can unintentionally do more harm than good. For example:
Avoid interjecting or offering unsolicited opinions or advice, such as, “It will get better,” “See the positives,” or, “You should get over it.”
Don’t criticism their emotions
Avoid minimizing what they have to say
Instead, focus on actively listening to what they have to say, asking them follow-up questions, letting them know you’re there for them if they want to talk more, and letting them know it’s okay to feel however they feel and that you’re glad they shared.
How do you cheer up a miserable person?
If you want to support someone who’s unhappy, consider reaching out to check in with them, inviting them to events with you, bringing over their favorite meal, or taking care of some chores for them.
Showing them kindness and consideration can boost their mental health and show them that you care, however, there are some instances where it might not be the best choice. For example, sometimes people might just want someone to listen and support them without offering solutions. Additionally, trying to focus too much on positivity can be invalidating on their feelings. Instead, ask what they need from you and if they’d like a fun distraction first.
Is it normal to cry for 2 hours straight?
Crying can be a healthy way to express overwhelming emotions, and studies have found that it can reduce stress and emotional pain.
While crying can be a powerful self-soothing and coping tool, if you find yourself repeatedly crying for hours, it might be time to reach out for help. Crying for extended periods of time might be a sign of a depressive disorder, hormonal fluctuations, anxiety, chronic stress, bipolar disorder, or certain brain conditions.
How to stop being so emotional?
There’s nothing inherently wrong with “being emotional,” and your feelings are valid. However, many people find that strong emotions can become overwhelming and get in the way of their decision-making skills, harm relationships, and get them into difficult situations at work or school. During these moments, it may be beneficial to learn how to better control your feelings (without suppressing them). Here’s how:
Validate your feelings: Instead of trying to dismiss or suppress your emotions, it’s first important to recognize and acknowledge them.
Know what triggers you: Become aware of what things trigger strong emotions.
Mood journal: When feelings become overwhelming, take a step back to write about how you’re feeling, what triggered your feelings, and how you can cope with them.
Ask for space: If you’re overwhelmed by uncontrollable emotions during an argument or disagreement, it’s okay to ask to take a break. For example, you might say, “I’m feeling overwhelmed and concerned I might say something regrettable. Let’s take a break and reconvene in 30-minutes.” During the break, practice deep breathing, go for a walk, or listen to some music that helps you calm down.
Your experience is valid, and your emotions are real. Try to practice accepting your emotional responses and responding to them in a way that’s helpful and nonjudgemental. With time, many people find that they’re better able to control their responses and improve their mental health.
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