Why Am I Like This And Feeling Different

Everyone else might appear perfectly comfortable and at ease to you. But you may not see yourself that way. You may feel nervousness or dread about interacting with people. Maybe you have a set routine or pattern to which you believe that you must adhere that others do not seem to have. 

You may find yourself not having the same interests, hobbies, drives, or passions as the people around you. You may be left wondering how other people interact with such ease and how they are finding joy in things that you are not. You may even experience nervousness about going to parties, as once you arrive you might see people standing in small groups against the wall or gathered around the kitchen table. Instead of feeling included, maybe you have a jittery feeling.

Why am I like this?

You might think, "I'm so tired of being so different from everyone else. How did I get this way? Why am I like this?"

Does this scene sound familiar to you?

Do you wonder why no one else ever seems to have this problem? Your perception of otherness may stem from a mental health condition that others around you may not discuss, which can lead you to isolated. It is possible to maintain a healthy life with a mental health condition even if it does include some sense that you are different from other people. Here’s might help your understanding of yourself.

Are you feeling alienated due to a mental health condition?

A licensed therapist can provide support

Feeling out of sync

Despite how comfortable other people may seem, you may find it relieving to know that you are far from alone in interpreting that you're different from everyone else. In fact, perceiving yourself as different is quite common. Many people may ask themselves, "Why am I like this?" for a variety of reasons.

Mental health conditions that may be to blame

One reason may be mental health conditions. If you have a mental illness, of any severity, the perceptions of being "out of sync" with the world around you can at times seem even more pronounced. Below is an explanation of how you might experience these interpretations and feelings as a result of specific mental illnesses. (This is not an exhaustive list of mental illnesses, nor is it meant to imply that you have any of the conditions listed below.)

• Major depressive disorder. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-V), major depressive disorder is characterized by a number of symptoms that last for two or more weeks, including depressed mood, sleep disturbance, tiredness, and impaired concentration. With major depressive disorder, you may find it difficult to have interest in activities, even when your well-meaning friends and family try to encourage you.
• Generalized anxiety disorder. Does it ever seem like you cannot make plans without knowing exactly who is going to be there, what time you're leaving, and what route you're taking. If someone doesn't arrive when they say they will, do you automatically assume that they have been in an accident? Many people with generalized anxiety disorder may worry about things others don’t tend to worry about.
• Obsessive-compulsive disorder. Do you often notice the need to repeat certain behaviors in a way that interferes with your daily routine? Some people who experience this urge have obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). OCD may manifest as a need to repeatedly check something, such as making sure that you've turned out all the lights in your apartment.

If these behaviors sound familiar to you, you can take comfort in knowing that these experiences can be common. 

So, while it may seem like you are all alone, the reality is that one-fifth of the people at that crowded party may be experiencing symptoms every bit as troubling as yours. In fact, they may be so busy worrying about their concern that your idiosyncrasies are not even on their radar.

Regardless of whether you experience anxiety, depression, or some other illness, there is help available through online therapy. In fact, research shows that online therapy can help with both depression and social anxiety.

Coping with your differentness

How do you cope with the day-to-day pain of living in a world where you perceive that you don't fit in? How do you handle the social costs and the general interpretations and feeling of aloneness?

Here are some steps that may be helpful:

1. Embrace your unique qualities. Instead of beating yourself up, learn to love those things about yourself that make you different. For example, people who experience different forms of anxiety and depression can often be highly sensitive and creative.
2. Find your group. Build relationships with individuals and groups with whom you have things in common. Find others who see your strengths and weaknesses and spend time with them as often as you can. 
3. Educate others. Become an expert on yourself and use your knowledge and confidence to teach other people about preconceptions and stereotypes. 
4. Focus on the qualities that make you human. No matter how different you may feel, remember that we all have certain commonalities. We all get scared. We all need love and validation. We all experience hope, despair, joy, and sadness. 

Getting professional help with therapy

It can be challenging to deal with the stigma of mental illness in addition to your symptoms and the demands of day-to-day life. Don't interpret that you have to cope in silence. Meeting with a therapist can help you understand and accommodate your mental health in your daily life. Online therapy makes this process even more convenient, especially for people who experience depressive or anxious symptoms. Research suggests that online therapy can be just as effective as in-person therapy for cases of anxiety and depression, among other conditions.

Online therapy with BetterHelp

At BetterHelp, we can connect you with an online therapist to help you make sense of it all. With online therapy, you can obtain help without having to go to a therapist’s office. Instead, you can meet with your therapist in the comfort and safety of your own home. You can also message them at any time to receive feedback on real-time events and emotions.