An Overview Of Grief Counseling: Grief Support For The Death Of A Loved One

Although death is often a part of life, the death of a loved one can be uniquely challenging. In the aftermath of a loss, you might experience symptoms of grief, from profound sadness to physical symptoms, mood swings, and more. Grief counseling is a form of therapy designed to make it easier to manage these symptoms and find a way forward, and it exists in multiple forms, such as cognitive behavioral therapy, complicated grief treatment, and acceptance and commitment therapy.

You don’t have to manage grief on your own

Start the path to healing in online therapy

Understanding grief after the death of a loved one

Grief can be described as the reaction you may have when you lose someone important to you, such as a close friend, family member, or spouse. When you’re grieving, you may experience feelings of intense sadness, but those feelings aren’t the only way grief can affect people.

Symptoms of grief

Following the death of a loved one, you might also notice symptoms like the following:

• Fatigue
• Trouble concentrating or remembering information
• Feelings of anger, shock, irritability, panic, or guilt
• Headaches or muscle aches
• Nausea
• Trouble going back to your daily routine

These symptoms are typically most intense for the first few months after a loss. However, you may continue to notice milder grief symptoms for a year or more. In addition, some people may move through grief in different stages.

Stages of grief after the death of a loved one

• Denial of the loss
• Anger at yourself, the universe, or the person you lost
• Bargaining with yourself or a higher power to try to change the situation
• Depression as the reality of the loss sinks in
• Acceptance as the pain of the loss begins to subside

The grieving process may not always look the same for everyone. Some people may not experience each of these stages in order, and others may skip certain stages altogether. Everyone tends to experience grief in their own way. 

Common forms of grief

There are several specific types of grief that a person may experience depending on the circumstances surrounding the loss.

Complicated grief

While the symptoms of grief often become more manageable with time, some people may experience a more intense form of grief that doesn’t decrease. This is usually called complicated grief (sometimes also called “prolonged grief disorder”). People experiencing complicated grief may experience lasting emotional pain, a sense of purposelessness, loneliness, and changes in their sense of identity. As a result, they may struggle to adapt to their new reality without their loved one.

Anticipatory grief

Anticipatory grief can be thought of as grief that occurs before someone has actually died. For example, if someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness, their family members might start going through the grieving process while they are still alive. People who know they are dying may also experience anticipatory grief, which may involve worries about the loved ones they will leave behind. 

Collective grief

It can be common to think of grief as something that only affects individuals, but sometimes, grief affects larger groups of people. Collective grief may develop after an event affecting a wider community occurs, such as a terrorist attack, an epidemic, a natural disaster, or a war. These sorts of events may trigger a sense of helplessness and uncertainty about the future. 

Traumatic grief

Traumatic grief is a type of grief that can occur after a death that was sudden or unexpected—like losing a loved one in a car crash—or after witnessing someone else’s death due to a traumatic event. People going through traumatic grief may experience shock, numbness, or emptiness. 

Traumatic grief may also contribute to symptoms that overlap with PTSD, like intrusive memories and negative changes in beliefs. This type of grief may be a risk factor for other forms of mental illness.

Seeking grief support for your mental health: What is grief counseling, and how can it help an individual after a loss?

Information on grief counseling: Seeking grief support for your mental health

Grief counselors may use several therapeutic techniques to help grieving people process their losses. Some common examples include the following:

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): Cognitive behavioral therapy typically aims to help people identify and change thoughts and beliefs that may be negatively affecting their mental health. This process may be helpful if negative thought patterns are interfering with a grieving person’s life. CBT may also help grieving people who are experiencing overwhelming feelings of guilt, anger, or frustration.  

Cognitive processing therapy (CPT): Cognitive processing therapy is a specific form of CBT for survivors of traumatic events. CPT generally aims to help survivors shift negative thoughts and beliefs about themselves and their experiences. CPT may be helpful for people living with traumatic grief or PTSD related to their loss. 

Complicated grief treatment (CGT): Complicated grief treatment is a relatively new form of therapy developed by psychiatrist M. Katherine Shear. The goal of this form of therapy is primarily to help people with complicated grief learn to manage difficult emotions, improve their relationships, remember the person they lost, and move forward.

Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT): In acceptance and commitment therapy, the goal is not to change or eliminate unwanted thoughts and feelings. Instead, clients are normally taught to focus on the present moment and take action based on their personal goals and values. ACT may help people come to terms with their grief rather than resist it and move forward in a constructive way. 

Working with a therapist

Working with a therapist may make it easier to understand your grief reactions, process your emotions, develop healthy coping strategies, and support your mental health. However, specialized therapies like the ones discussed in this article may not always be affordable. 

You don’t have to manage grief on your own

Start the path to healing in online therapy

Grief counseling and emotional support through online therapy

According to a 2022 White House report, only half of people with health insurance report having adequate mental health coverage. For those without insurance, therapy may be even harder to access. 

Sites like BetterHelp offer live therapy sessions starting at $65 per week, which may make online therapy a more affordable option. 

Research has found that online therapy may be helpful after a loss. In a 2020 study, researchers analyzed data from seven different studies of online cognitive behavioral therapy for grief. They found that online therapy usually led to improvements in symptoms of grief and PTSD.