Dealing With Grief: Tips To Support Your Mental Health

It can be challenging to know how to move forward when you’ve experienced a major loss. Beyond sadness, grief may cause various other challenging symptoms, and healing from these effects can take time. That said, there may be ways to support your health and well-being during this time of transition. In this article, we’ll explore some strategies that may be helpful as you begin the healing process. 

Grief response

Grief can be a natural response to losing a person, object, situation, or arrangement you care about. You may experience grief after a loved one dies, losing a job, moving to a new city, or after your children leave home for the first time. These events can be painful, and you may be left with painful emotions as you try to make sense of your life. When you’re grieving, you may notice mental and physical symptoms such as:

• Disbelief
• Intense anguish
• Anger
• Confusion or uncertainty about the future
• Regret or guilt about your actions before the loss
• Obsession with the past
• Fatigue
• Muscle aches
• Trouble concentrating
• Changes in eating or sleeping habits

Types of grief 

The most intense symptoms of grief may happen during the first few months after a loss. This initial period is sometimes called the “acute stage” of grief. The acute stage of grief tends to last up to two months, although you may experience milder symptoms for a year or more. Depending on the type of loss you’ve had, you may also experience other forms of grief, which can come with different symptoms. Some examples include:

• Traumatic grief:Traumatic grief may develop after losing someone suddenly or unexpectedly or witnessing someone die in a traumatic way. Traumatic grief may cause symptoms similar to PTSD, such as shock, numbness, or intrusive memories. 
• Anticipatory grief: Anticipatory grief is the grief you may feel before an expected loss happens. For example, you might feel anticipatory grief before a breakup or after a loved one is diagnosed with a terminal illness. People who know they will die soon may also experience anticipatory grief as they come to terms with their own mortality. 
• Complicated grief: Grief tends to improve with time. When the acute symptoms of grief don’t get better or prevent you from moving forward with your life, you may be experiencing complicated grief (also known as prolonged grief disorder). 

Strategies for dealing with grief

Living with grief can be challenging, and it may not be possible to speed up the grieving process. However, there may still be ways to support your mental, physical, and emotional well-being as you move forward from a loss, including but not limited to the following. 

Connect with others

Grief can be isolating, and you might not be motivated to spend time with others. However, having proper social support may make coping with grief easier after a loss. If possible, reach out to friends, family members, or others in your community, and try to engage in social activities. You might also consider exploring grief support groups in your area. These meetings can provide a way to connect with others who are living with grief. 

Avoid major transitions while you grieve

Major life changes can cause symptoms of depression, anxiety, and other mental health challenges. If you’ve recently lost a loved one, you may already be experiencing stress or uncertainty as you adjust to your new life. For this reason, Mental Health America (MHA) recommends giving yourself time to adapt to the loss before making other significant life changes, like moving or having a child. 

Practice self-care

When you’re grieving, self-care might not seem like a priority, but practicing healthy habits may help you manage stress and improve your physical and mental well-being. As you go through the grieving process, do your best to:

• Get up and go to bed at the same time every day
• Get regular physical activity, such as a few minutes of walking
• Eat nutritious foods 
• Avoid self-medicating with substance use (previously referred to as “substance abuse”) 
• Follow a structured daily routine
• Take time to relax, whether by reading a book, listening to music, or spending time outdoors

Allow yourself to feel your emotions

In 2017, researchers did a series of three studies on the link between mental health and acceptance of negative emotions. They found that those who were more accepting of their negative feelings experienced better psychological well-being and life satisfaction, with fewer mental health concerns. The emotions you feel after a loss can be intense, and you might be tempted to push them away. Instead, try to let yourself feel them without setting expectations or judging yourself. Practicing meditation or journaling about your emotions may make this process easier. 

Permit yourself to grieve in your own way

There is not necessarily a single right or wrong way to grieve, and your grief is a normal response to the real loss of a loved one. Avoid comparing your reactions to loss with other people’s, and try not to put pressure on yourself to “just feel better” or follow a specific timeline. If you go back and forth from feeling okay to having significant periods of emotional pain, you are not reacting to grief in the “wrong” way, as grief can come and go like waves. 

Forge a path forward after loss

Talk to a grief counselor

Seek professional support 

Even though not everyone experiences grief the same way, if grief is preventing you from living your life or you want extra support through the grieving process, you may consider getting outside help. With grief counseling, you may be able to develop additional coping strategies, manage symptoms of complicated grief, and find a path forward. 

Opening up to a grief counselor can be difficult after a loss. Discussing your emotions may be easier when you have a counselor you are comfortable with, but finding the right fit can sometimes be challenging. With online therapy, you can be matched with a therapist based on your unique situation. Platforms like BetterHelp allow clients to change therapists at any time and at no extra cost, which may make it easier to find a fit. In addition, online therapy platforms offer support groups, which can provide a sense of social connectedness at a time when you may not want to leave home.  

Studies have found that online therapy may benefit people who are living with grief. In a 2020 meta-analysis, researchers examined the results of seven studies of online cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). They found that online CBT led to significant improvements in grief symptoms.