Grief And Loss: How The Grieving Process Can Impact Your Mental Health

Whether or not you are familiar with the five stages of grief, many people associate grief with one overarching emotion: sadness. While sadness can be a significant part of grief, everyone’s grief experience tends to be different, and grief can be nuanced. It may not be unusual to experience confusing and conflicting emotions while grieving, as well as physical symptoms that might be mistaken for medical illnesses. Understanding more about the different types of grief and their health impacts may help you process grief more effectively. A licensed mental health professional can offer further support.

Emotional symptoms of grief

Some of the emotional experiences associated with grief can include the following:

• An intense yearning to return to the way things were before the loss happened
• High levels of sadness, sorrow, and emotional pain
• Bitterness and anger
• Disbelief and difficulty accepting the loss
• Preoccupation with the loss
• Worry about the potential for future losses
• Emotional numbness and a sense of detachment from other people
• Suicidal ideation
• Becoming upset when reminded of the loss
• Experiencing loneliness
• Blaming oneself for the loss, or adopting other negative beliefs about oneself
• Avoiding thoughts, emotions, people, places, and situations associated with the loss
• Becoming suspicious and having difficulty trusting other people
• A sense of hopelessness or confusion
• Believing part of oneself is missing or gone after the loss, also known as identity diminishment
• Loss of desire to spend time engaging in previously enjoyed activities, hobbies, or relationships
• Difficulty planning for the future
• Higher risk of developing a mental illness like major depressive disorder, substance use disorder, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)

Physical symptoms of grief

Grief can also lead to physical symptoms, although these reactions may be less expected or understood than emotional responses. Such symptoms may include those listed below:

• Digestive issues, like constipation, diarrhea, stomach pain, nausea, or vomiting
• Fatigue
• Increased substance use
• Weakening of the heart ventricles (often called “broken heart syndrome” and understood to be the result of severe stress), causing shortness of breath, cold sweats, and pain and tightness in the chest area
• Rapid and unexplained weight gain or loss
• Pain, including joint pain, back pain, and headaches
• Higher risk of developing some medical conditions, like cancer, heart disease, hypertension, or immune system dysfunction
• Sleep disruption, including difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep

Types of grief

It can be difficult to classify grief into categories. However, it might be helpful to better understand some broader types of grief, while also acknowledging that the boundaries of these categories may overlap in some cases. 

Anticipatory grief

Anticipatory grief can often be presented as a contrast to what some people may refer to as “conventional grief.” While conventional grief typically occurs after a loss has happened, anticipatory grief usually occurs before a loss. It can be common in situations where there are warning signs or expectations for a future loss, like the following:

• An impending job loss 
• A looming breakup, separation, or divorce
• A family member or loved one experiencing a terminal illness
• An anticipated decline in personal health, sometimes associated with aging
• A family member or loved one with a mental health condition that is linked to high levels of fatality, like opioid use disorder

Anticipatory grief can result in complicated emotions and may lead to a sense of relief when the loss finally occurs, which can then contribute to intense guilt. It may be less understood by other people than conventional grief, meaning it might be more likely to result in disenfranchised grief (discussed below) and particularly self-disenfranchisement.

Disenfranchised grief

Disenfranchised grief generally refers to grief caused by losses that are not recognized, acknowledged, or respected by society or a person’s community. When a person experiences disenfranchised grief, their emotional response can often be minimized or dismissed. Disenfranchised grief usually results from a loss that other people do not consider to be meaningful, a loss that can’t be widely communicated, or a loss that’s associated with stigma. Examples of these losses can include the following:

• A non-death loss, like the loss of a job, health, or meaningful possessions
• A “less significant” loss, like the death of a pet, the death of a non-immediate family member, or the death of a former spouse or partner
• A loss of an unrecognized relationship, like the death of estranged family members, the death of a nonprimary polyamorous partner, or the death of someone with whom one was in a closeted LGBTQIA+ relationship
• A stigmatized loss, like a miscarriage or stillbirth, the death of a loved one from an overdose, or the death of a loved one by suicide

Disenfranchised grief can also result from self-disenfranchisement, in which a person criticizes themselves for grieving a loss. Self-disenfranchisement can be particularly common in losses resulting from choices a person consciously made, such as the choice to leave a romantic relationship or to move away from their hometown.

Disenfranchised grief may be more likely to develop into complicated grief.

Complicated grief

Complicated grief is a mental health condition also known as prolonged grief disorder, which was previously called persistent complex bereavement disorder. 

Complicated grief can impact a person’s ability to function and cause them severe distress. Many people experiencing complicated grief may show no signs of feeling better or processing the loss. In these instances, support groups or grief counseling may be beneficial. 

Finding support for working through symptoms of grief

You do not need to be experiencing complicated grief to benefit from speaking to a mental health professional. Even people without severe or debilitating grief symptoms may experience improvements when processing their loss with the help of a grief counselor. Often, individuals can seek out counselors specializing in the particular type of loss they’ve experienced, or whose spiritual beliefs around death and grieving are compatible with their own. 

If you are in an area without accessible mental health services, it may be challenging to connect with a suitable grief counselor. In these situations, online therapy can be a helpful alternative. With online therapy through an accredited platform like BetterHelp, users can browse thousands of qualified therapists to find the best fit for them. 

Researchers have found that online therapy may be just as effective as traditional in-person therapy for addressing various mental health symptoms, including those related to grief. One study conducted a meta-analysis on research examining the use of online therapy in grief counseling and found that outcomes seemed to be comparable to in-person therapeutic interventions.