Grief: Meaning, Stages, And Tips For Navigating The Healing Process

Grief can accompany virtually any type of loss, and it can be one of the more profound forms of emotional pain humans experience. However, grief also tends to be dynamic, evolving over time as we heal and adjust. It can even be possible to facilitate this process by taking certain steps to process your feelings and cope effectively. Here, we’ll explore grief’s meaning and offer an overview of the healing process. You’ll also find tips to help you build resilience as you navigate grief and bereavement.

What is grief? 

Grief is a painful and multifaceted emotional response to a loss. It’s most often associated with the death of a loved one; however, we may also grieve the end of a relationship, the loss of a job, or a major life change. We tend to grieve people and things with which we have formed a significant bond.

Each loss is different, however, and our experience with and understanding of it may be influenced by a number of factors. As such, grief can mean different things depending on:

• The depth of the love or connection we have with the object of our grief
• Our proximity to the loss
• The dynamics that drove the relationship
• The circumstances surrounding the death or loss
• The bereaved individual’s unique personality and culture

For example, although experiencing the death of a beloved pet and a close family member both involve a significant adjustment to your life and feelings of sadness and loss, these two experiences are typically quite different. 

A traumatic loss—that is, one involving sudden or violent circumstances—may make the grieving process even more complex or challenging. Grieving a person with whom you had a complicated relationship might also impact the way you experience grief. Ultimately, each of us may interpret the meaning and experience of grief differently depending on our unique experiences. 

How grief can affect the mind and body

Grief is considered a stressor, and as such, it can have a wide range of emotional, psychological, physical, and even behavioral aspects. It may involve complicated feelings, including sadness, anger, guilt, shock, and despair. 

Our thoughts may be dominated by memories or regrets or thoughts of how things might be if the loss hadn’t occurred. We might also struggle to accept or understand the loss and may experience feelings of confusion, disorientation, or unreality. 

Active grieving can cause a wide range of physical and somatic symptoms similar to those seen in depression, including fatigue, changes in appetite, and difficulty sleeping. It’s normal to cry in response to grief, though not everybody does. Grief can also impact the body’s immune system, making a person more susceptible to illness and disease.

Understanding bereavement: Does grief occur in stages?

Bereavement refers to the process of grieving and adjusting to life after a significant loss. For some, it may occur in phases; however, bereavement is often not a linear process. Each person’s relationship with a particular loss may be different, and grief does not necessarily occur in distinct stages.

The idea of the “five stages of grief” became popular with the publication of psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’s 1969 book, On Death and Dying. Note that a person might experience some, all, or none of the stages outlined in her book, might revisit some, and might feel them in any order. It’s only one model for understanding this human experience.

It’s important to be sensitive to the varying ways in which people can grieve. Holding preconceived notions about how someone should grieve could cause hurt or confusion. Rather, each person’s bereavement journey is shaped by their personality, life experiences, cultural background, and the nature of their loss, so it can be helpful to respect each unique grieving process. 

Navigating the healing process: Tips for healing from grief

While the healing process can be different for everyone, there are some strategies that can be employed at any point in the grieving journey to help you cope with loss in a healthy and adaptive way. Here are some tips to help you navigate this difficult process. 

1. Connect with others

While some may need space to process their feelings surrounding a death or a loss, others benefit from connecting with others during the grieving process. As such, it might help to try being around others during a challenging time—whether to share memories and work through difficult feelings or as a way to distract yourself from the pain of loss and find normalcy. 

2. Acknowledge the loss

Many find it helpful to meaningfully acknowledge their loss in some way. This could mean memorializing the deceased through a special ceremony, creating a memory book, or dedicating a special place in their honor. This acknowledgment can help you accept the reality of the loss, honor your memories, and start the journey toward finding a new normal. 

3. Accept your feelings

It’s important to understand that whatever you are feeling in response to your loss is valid. Grief can be complex and even unpredictable, and there’s generally no right or wrong way to grieve. Rather than fighting negative emotions, it may be helpful to allow yourself to fully experience and process them in a way that feels natural and beneficial.

4. Ask for support

If you’re struggling to cope in the wake of a loss, consider tapping into your support network for help. Friends, family, and neighbors may be willing to assist you with daily chores or errands, and they can also be a source of emotional support if you need to talk. Don't hesitate to reach out and let them know what you need. Often, people want to help but don't know how.

5. Engage in self-care strategies

Although it can be challenging to keep up with your self-care routines when you’re grieving, caring for your mind and body can be especially important during difficult periods. Getting enough sleep, eating nutritious foods, and exercising regularly may help you feel better physically and mentally, which may help take the edge off your emotional pain.

6. Find meaning and purpose

Many find it helpful to process loss by using it to fuel their search for meaning and purpose in life. This could involve taking positive action, such as through volunteer work or advocacy, or even just reflecting on how you might use your time in ways that honor the memory of your loved one, such as by pursuing a meaningful and fulfilling life.

7. Be patient

Grieving can take considerable time, and patience can help you maintain self-compassion as you navigate the healing process. Aim to take it day by day, allowing yourself the space to feel and process your emotions without judgment. Grief does typically become less painful over time as you learn to adjust and integrate the loss into your life.

8. Seek professional support

You might find it helpful to work through your grief with a mental health professional. Grief counseling is a type of psychotherapy that aims to help people cope with the sorrow of loss and bereavement and may be especially beneficial in situations where a person might hold complicated feelings surrounding their loss. 

What to expect in grief counseling

Research suggests that grief counseling may be effective in helping individuals navigate the bereavement process and find healing. Because each person’s experience with grief may differ, grief counseling may look different for each individual. That said, here are a few things you might expect:

• Emotional support. Grief counseling offers a safe and non-judgmental space in which you can openly process, understand, and work through your feelings.
• Coping strategies. Counselors often provide practical techniques for managing grief, such as relaxation exercises, journaling, and mindfulness practices.
• Education. Grief is a complex experience, and counseling sessions typically include education about the grieving process so individuals feel validated and reassured.
• Personalized guidance. Your counselor will tailor each session to your specific situation and needs. This could involve discussing unique aspects of your loss, exploring your relationship with the deceased, or setting personal goals for healing.
• Support networks. A counselor can empower you to engage with your existing support network as well as connect you with grief support groups, group counseling sessions, or other resources that may benefit you.

Online grief counseling for navigating bereavement

Whether you choose to meet with a grief counselor in person or online is typically up to you. While some people may find comfort in speaking with a therapist face to face, others may find it difficult to leave the house while experiencing grief. In the latter cases, online therapy may be a more approachable and convenient option. 

With an online therapy platform like BetterHelp, you can get matched with a licensed counselor and meet with them from anywhere you have an internet connection. Research suggests that online grief counseling may be an effective way to treat symptoms of grief in adults and that it may be preferable for those seeking a flexible, convenient, and affordable alternative to face-to-face sessions.

Need help navigating the grieving process?

Connect with a licensed counselor

Takeaway

While grief is generally defined as an emotional response to loss, its meaning can vary significantly depending on an individual’s experience, culture, tendencies, and the nature of the loss. Grief can affect the mind and body in unique and often unpredictable ways, and the healing process tends to be a highly personal experience involving emotional processing, adjustment, and support from others.