Locating A Grief Counselor Near Me: A Guide To Getting Bereavement Support

Turning to others for support is a common and healthy response in the aftermath of a meaningful loss. Friends, relatives, and trusted community members can be powerful sources of comfort and connectedness during this difficult time. However, some people may also benefit from talking with a mental health professional while facing the intense emotional strain of bereavement. When trying to locate a grief counselor near you, learning more about types of grief can help you pick the most appropriate provider. 

A common type of grief is complicated grief, often called prolonged grief disorder. Warning signs of this condition can include excessive guilt, dwelling persistently on negative thoughts and emotions, symptoms of trauma, or sustained, unchanging feelings of grief. Evidence suggests that grief counseling rooted in cognitive-behavioral therapy may be an effective way to protect your mental health after bereavement and when living with a condition like prolonged grief disorder. However, you don’t have to have a diagnosis or complicated grief to seek therapy. There are various steps you can take to get started. 

Grief and mental health

Distress and emotional pain following the death of someone you care about is not considered a mental health condition on its own. Experiencing the loss of a significant person or relationship at some point in life is common, and it’s natural to have negative feelings in response. Not everyone reacts the same way to bereavement, but common experiences include:

• Sadness
• Shock or disbelief
• Numbness or emptiness
• Anxiety
• Anger
• Vivid memories or dreams of the departed person, which can sometimes be distressing
• Lack of appetite, energy, and motivation
• Sleep disruptions
• Guilt

Grief-related feelings may sometimes arrive in short but intense bursts, often called “grief pangs.” These feelings can crop up seemingly randomly, catching you by surprise. While the reactions above aren’t necessarily problematic, the mental and emotional strain of grieving may lead to an elevated risk of psychological illnesses such as:

• Depression
• Anxiety
• Substance use disorders
• Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) 

Researchers have also noted that around one in ten bereaved individuals experience a condition called prolonged grief disorder (PGD). In PGD, the severe negative feelings and behavioral disruptions that are common in the immediate aftermath of a loved one’s death remain intense instead of fading over time. Some researchers and clinicians may call PGD “complicated grief,” although this term can also be used for grief that includes features of mental health conditions like depression or PTSD. 

Would I benefit from grief counseling?

Paying attention to the following risk factors for grief-related psychological illness could help you decide whether you could benefit from counseling. However, anyone can access counseling, and you don’t have to have PGD or another mental illness to seek support. 

Your loss was sudden or traumatic

The circumstances surrounding bereavement can make a significant difference in the risk of prolonged or complicated grief. You may have more difficulty coming to terms with a sudden or violent bereavement, such as losing a loved one to suicide, homicide, an accident, or a natural disaster. Grief counseling often centers on working through traumatic events. 

You’re experiencing symptoms of mental illness

While some healthy forms of grief can overlap with symptoms of disorders like depression or anxiety, certain patterns may be warning signs of poor mental health. For example, low self-esteem, intense guilt, self-blame, and strongly self-directed suicidal thoughts can be indicators of depression rather than typical grief. Similarly, PTSD-like symptoms such as grief-related panic attacks may suggest the presence of traumatic grief.

You’re fixated on your feelings of loss

Although feelings like sadness, anger, or emptiness are common following bereavement, ordinary grief usually comes in waves rather than remaining continuous and unchanging. Negative emotions are often interspersed with positive experiences, such as hope, closeness with surviving loved ones, and recollections of happy memories. Dwelling continuously on the loss you’ve experienced could be a significant risk factor for PGD. Contrarily, so could extreme avoidance of any reminders of your grief. 

Your grief isn’t becoming less intense over time

Distinguishing typical grieving from PGD symptoms can be difficult in the immediate aftermath of grieving. However, some people find that their acute grief pangs become less severe and occur less frequently over time. If you haven’t noticed any decrease in your bereavement-related distress after six to 12 months, talking with a mental health professional may be advisable.

You want support

Anyone can talk to a therapist; you don’t necessarily need a reason. If you want support, believe you are alone in your loss, or don’t know how to cope with your emotions, a grief therapist can guide you through the process, validate you, and be with you at the stage you’re at. You’re not alone, and support is readily available. 

What to look for in a grief counselor

Once you’ve decided to seek counseling, you may consider how you’ll choose a therapist based on factors like the following.  

Education, training, and licensing

Grief coaches don’t necessarily have any specific certification, but grief counselors must have accredited psychological training and licensing to provide therapy and evidence-based care. Below is a breakdown of several types of mental health professionals based on their credentials and specializations:

• Psychiatrist: Psychiatrists are medical doctors qualified to prescribe medications and deliver psychotherapy. However, some psychiatrists don’t offer talk therapy directly. Instead, they may focus on medication management and oversight of patient care plans. 
• Psychologist: Psychologists are professionals with a doctorate-level degree in psychology. Psychologists cannot provide medication but can often deliver expert therapy. They may hold a Psy.D or PhD. 
• Licensed professional counselor (LPC): An LPC is a specialist in psychotherapy with a master’s degree in counseling or a similar field who has completed extensive supervised clinical training. 
• Licensed clinical social worker (LCSW): An LCSW is a trained social work provider with a master’s degree. They generally have experience providing psychological counseling and assisting clients with challenging life circumstances such as disabilities, poverty, and familial trauma.
• Licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT): LMFTs are specialists who consider familial and interpersonal dynamics. They have levels of education and professional training similar to those of an LPC. 

Treatment methods

Experience

No matter how qualified a grief counselor is on paper, you may still benefit from asking them about their experience with clients whose experiences are similar to your own. For instance, the challenges arising from a loved one’s suicide may be different from those following the death of a friend after a prolonged illness. When interviewing a prospective therapist, consider asking whether they’ve helped people in your circumstances, what outcomes past clients have achieved, and how this experience informs the provider’s current treatment approach.

Personal connection

Having a positive and professional working relationship with your grief counselor may significantly increase the effectiveness of treatment. Agreement on the desired goals of treatment may ensure you don’t have the sense that your therapist is pushing you to “move on” too quickly or treating normal grief responses as signs of illness. 

During your initial consultation with a therapist, you might ask them questions about their understanding of loss, mental health, and the grieving process. Paying attention to how their responses make you feel can give you a sense of whether you’d work well with this person. If you get the impression that they’re compassionate, respectful, patient, open-minded, and professional, they might be the right grief counselor for you.

Locating a grief counselor in your area

Seeking a referral from your primary care doctor is a common and potentially effective way to find a qualified and competent grief counselor near you. You may also be able to search for licensed therapists through your health insurance company to ensure they accept your coverage plan. 

Local community organizations or bereavement support groups might also be able to suggest qualified individuals. If you’re a member of a religious congregation, you could ask a clergy member for a recommendation, especially if you want to work with a therapist with similar spiritual beliefs.

Some non-profit groups, professional organizations, and government agencies also provide databases you can use to find qualified mental health providers in your area. Notable examples include:

• Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA): Find Your Therapist
• APA: Psychologist Locator
• Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA): Find Treatment
• National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization (NHPCO): Find a Care Provider (potentially helpful for bereavement from terminal illness)
• Veterans Administration: Location Finder (for veterans and their families)
• Center for Prolonged Grief: Find a Therapist
• Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA): Find Your Therapist
• Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies (ABCT): Find-a-Therapist

These organizations don’t necessarily screen their providers, so you may assess the credentials and professional demeanor of any therapist you locate yourself. 

Working with a grief counselor online

Finding a licensed counselor accepting new patients can be frustrating and challenging in some areas. For that reason, bereaved individuals may choose online grief counseling through a platform like BetterHelp instead. Internet therapy platforms often enable you to match with a therapist based on preferences like areas of expertise, spiritual beliefs, LGBT-focused care, and others. These filters may make finding someone with whom you’ll form a productive therapeutic alliance easier. In addition, you can often access more cost-effective session rates. 

Emerging research suggests that online grief intervention can be effective for clients trying to cope with bereavement. Multiple clinical trials have shown that treatments like internet cognitive-behavioral therapy (iCBT) can enormously reduce the symptoms of conditions like prolonged grief disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, and depression in people who’ve lost loved ones.