Recognizing The Signs of Grief: Tips For Healing And Moving Forward

Experiencing grief is an inherent part of the human experience. Still, when faced with loss, the accompanying emotions can feel overwhelming, creating a profound impact on daily functioning and overall well-being.

Recognizing the signs of grief and finding ways to handle them effectively can foster healing and allow you to move forward. Each individual's experience of grief is distinct, but by learning about some of its various forms and developing healthy coping strategies, you can foster resilience and may be able to more effectively navigate the grieving process.  

Below, we’ll explore the different signs of grief and share practical tips for recognizing them and taking steps toward healing. As you move forward from your loss, know that it is possible to learn to manage your grief in a healthy way.

Emotional and physical effects of grief

Grief can present on a wide spectrum of emotional and physical symptoms. Emotional pain is a common symptom of grief, often characterized by feelings of sadness, anger, guilt, or loneliness. These feelings can ebb and flow and may change from moment to moment, sometimes appearing unexpectedly.

Grief can also present physically. Fatigue, shifts in appetite, sleep troubles, and physical pain are common. Understanding that such physical responses are often part of grief can provide some comfort and encourage self-care.

Grief manifests differently depending on one's personality, cultural influences, and coping mechanisms. Accepting that your way of grieving is legitimate, even if it's unlike that of others’, can help you manage your emotions.

Different ways of conceptualizing phases or aspects of grief

Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance are known collectively as the Kübler-Ross model, or the five stages of grief. Some people might go through all, only a few, or none of these stages and in any order or timeline.

Learning more about the five stages—especially when viewing them as components of grief that you may or may not experience—can be helpful:

• Denial functions as a defense mechanism, allowing individuals to gradually process the reality of their loss. During this stage, feelings of numbness or disbelief are common. 
• Anger is another common emotion after a loss—either directed towards oneself, others, or the person who has passed away. 
• Bargaining involves dwelling on "what if" scenarios and wishing to be able to alter the past. This tendency can bring about feelings of guilt and regret. 
• Depression is characterized by deep sadness and withdrawal. Per the Küber-Ross model, this can be temporary feelings or it may evolve into a diagnosable disorder.
• Acceptance involves coming to terms with the loss. It doesn't mean forgetting or moving on but rather finding a way to live with the loss, creating a new sense of normalcy while keeping the memory of the loved one alive.

Other models of grief may not use specific stages but instead talk about the process of “growing around” one’s grief and finding resilience, as in the Tonkin grief model, or focusing on recreating your sense of self after a loss, as in the case of the meaning reconstruction theory. Again, you might choose to read about other models of grief or none at all. Some people find them helpful while others may turn to other forms of comfort, information, or support.

Recognizing various types of grief

It’s also possible for grief to take specific forms depending on the circumstances of the loss and/or the mental health of the individual. Here are a few examples:

• Absent grief: Some people may not experience intense emotions or reactions after a loss, leading to what is known as absent grief. This type of response can be influenced by cultural norms and beliefs and may delay the grieving process.
• Anticipatory grief:Anticipatory grief is when one expects a loss, such as when a loved one is terminally ill, and begins the grieving process before the actual loss occurs.
• Disenfranchised grief: This term, also referred to as “hidden grief,” means experiencing grief but feeling like you’re not allowed or supposed to express it because of the opinions of others or society. Some examples of situations in which someone might feel disenfranchised grief is after experiencing the loss of an estranged family member or a former partner.
• Complicated grief: Marked by extended and intense mourning, complicated grief—also called prolonged grief disorder—can interfere with everyday activities and well-being and make it hard to move forward. The individual may feel trapped and unable to move on or experience happiness. Seeking professional support can aid them in processing the loss and finding a way forward.
• Traumatic grief:Traumatic grief can occur when the loss is sudden, violent, or unexpected. This form of grief can be accompanied by symptoms similar to post-traumatic stress disorder, such as flashbacks, hypervigilance, or severe anxiety. Addressing traumatic grief often involves specialized therapeutic approaches.

While grieving is a natural response to loss, it is possible for these feelings to evolve into a mental health condition that may require professional treatment, such as with complicated or traumatic grief. Being able to recognize the signs of such conditions can help you know when to seek help and support. Also note that you can seek professional support for any type of grief, whether it represents a diagnosable condition or not.

Grief can take many forms and no two journeys are the same. Recognizing that your grief is valid can help you navigate through the stages and find healthy ways to cope. Seeking support from loved ones and professionals can also provide much-needed comfort during this challenging time.

Risk factors for prolonged or complicated grief

Certain factors may increase the risk of experiencing complicated grief. Understanding these risk factors can help individuals and their support networks recognize when additional help might be needed.

A history of mental health conditions like depression or anxiety can increase the chances of experiencing complicated grief. Individuals with past trauma or numerous losses might also find themselves more vulnerable. Moreover, social isolation and insufficient support can aggravate grief, hindering the healing process.

The nature of the loss can also play a role. Sudden, unexpected, or violent losses are more likely to result in complicated grief. Additionally, individuals who were highly dependent on the deceased or had unresolved conflicts with them may find it harder to move forward.

Recognizing these risk factors can help in seeking early intervention and support. Professional counseling or therapy can provide tools and strategies for managing complicated grief and promoting healing.

Healing and moving forward

Healing from grief is a personal journey. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and allowing yourself the space to feel and process your emotions can be helpful.

For many, an important part of healing involves finding ways to honor and remember their loved one. This approach might include creating a memorial, engaging in activities the deceased enjoyed, or finding other meaningful ways to keep their memory alive. Such acts may provide comfort and a sense of connection.

Another aspect of healing is having realistic expectations. Healing doesn't mean forgetting or no longer feeling the loss. Instead, it's usually about finding a way to live with the loss and integrating it into one's life. This process takes time, and patience and compassion with oneself are important. While healing doesn't mean forgetting, it also does not mean feeling guilty for experiencing moments of happiness. Moving forward and finding joy in life does not diminish the love and memories shared with the deceased.

Practical tips for coping with grief

Coping with grief in a positive way involves finding healthy strategies for processing and expressing emotions. Some examples of approaches that might be helpful can include:

• Leaning on social support in the form of friends and family and/or support groups 
• Journaling about your feelings, which research suggests may help boost mood and even immune functioning
• Prioritizing self-care, or engaging in activities that promote physical and emotional well-being—such as exercise, meditation, or creative outlets—which can help you with stress resilience, mood, and a sense of stability 
• Seeking therapy, which can give you a helpful outlet for expressing and processing your emotions and a way to get professional support with any related mental health challenges

Supporting someone through grief

Supporting someone who is grieving can be challenging, but presence and understanding can often make a positive impact. Offering a listening ear and a compassionate heart can allow the person to express their feelings honestly and openly, which can be beneficial.

Avoiding platitudes and not trying to fix their pain can reduce the pressure and allow the person to feel heard and validated. Instead, offering practical support, such as helping with daily tasks or providing a comforting presence, can be more beneficial. Patience and understanding that everyone's grieving process is unique can help create a supportive environment.

When appropriate, encouraging professional help for an individual who is grieving can also be helpful. Sometimes, the most supportive act is to guide them towards the resources they may need.

Professional support for loss and grief

While support from friends and family can help many through grief, professional assistance may be important for some. Therapy or counseling can offer a safe environment to examine your feelings, develop coping techniques, and resolve any underlying conflicts. If you’re experiencing symptoms of complicated grief, depression, anxiety, or another mental health condition, seeking professional support can be paramount for your health and well-being.

Different therapeutic approaches may help with grief, such as cognitive behavioral therapy for altering negative thought patterns and grief counseling for personalized grief support. Group therapy may also provide a comforting sense of community and shared understanding.

In general, you can typically seek mental health support online or in person depending on your preferences. That said, individuals navigating grief may find online therapy more convenient, since it means they can get support without leaving the house when they’re feeling especially upset.

Recent studies suggest that online therapy may serve as an effective approach for addressing grief in bereaved adults. The research highlights notable improvements in grief symptoms among participants after online treatment, indicating the potential benefits of online therapeutic interventions. 

While loss and grief are inevitable parts of life, understanding the grieving process, recognizing potential risk factors, and seeking support can aid in healing and promoting well-being. Therapy can enhance the healing journey by providing personalized support and strategies for managing grief when it disrupts one's life.