Steps To Start Your Own Grief Journal

Experiencing the loss of a loved one can leave you feeling unsure of how to cope. Grieving tends to affect everyone differently, but how can you navigate the difficult emotions and find a way to heal?

A grief journal may serve as a helpful tool throughout this journey. Finding an outlet for your thoughts and emotions can be a positive step toward healing. However, journaling may not always be enough to help you process the challenging emotions that can accompany grief. If you believe you could benefit from additional support, consider reaching out to a licensed mental health professional.

Choosing your journal

The first step in starting a grief journal generally involves selecting the right one. This choice is personal and should reflect your individual needs and preferences. Some prefer a traditional notebook with lined pages, while others find a digital journal more accessible.

The size and type of paper can also make a difference. A smaller, portable journal might be easier for spontaneous writing sessions, while a larger journal may provide ample space for longer entries and additional elements like drawings or pasted images.

The journal's aesthetic can also matter. A design that resonates with you and brings a sense of calm or inspiration can be beneficial, whether it's a plain, minimalist cover or one adorned with meaningful symbols or artwork. Your personal style and preferences can guide the selection process.

Setting an intention

Setting an intention for your grief journal can be helpful before beginning to write. Reflecting on what you hope to achieve through this practice, whether it’s documenting your healing journey, exploring emotions, or keeping the memory of your loved one alive, can help you determine your intention.

You can establish a regular journaling practice by creating a journaling routine. Deciding on a time of day that works best can make journaling a comforting part of each day.

Your journal can be a judgment-free space, allowing thoughts and emotions to be expressed freely without concern for grammar, spelling, or structure. Writing whatever comes to mind, knowing the space is personal, can be liberating.

Finding your voice

Writing about grief can be challenging, especially for those not used to expressing emotions on paper. Finding one's voice usually involves writing in a natural and authentic way. Journal entries don't need to be perfect; they just need to be honest.

Starting with simple entries can help. Writing about your day, current feelings, or a memory of your loved one might be a good starting point. As comfort with the process grows, exploring deeper emotions and experiences often becomes easier. Prompts can guide your writing when you’re not sure where to start.

Prompts to consider might include the following:

• Describe a memory with your loved one that brings a smile.
• How do you feel today compared to a week ago?
• What are your hopes for your healing journey?
• Are there any emotions or thoughts you have been holding back? Why?
• How has your grief affected your relationships with others?

These prompts can help you focus your thoughts and provide direction. While some people prefer to write freely without prompts, others benefit from guidance and structure.

Expressing emotions

A grief journal usually serves as a space to explore and express emotions. Writing about feelings can help you process them and gain a better understanding of your experiences. Writing about sadness, anger, confusion, or even moments of joy and gratitude can be part of the process. Acknowledging your emotions without judgment can support healing.

Repeatedly writing about the same feelings can be okay. In general, grief is not a linear process, and certain emotions may resurface over time. Writing about these emotions as they arise can help you work through them and find relief.

Incorporating other forms of expression into the journal, such as drawing, painting, or adding photographs or mementos, can enhance the journaling experience and provide additional ways to process your emotions.

Reflecting on your progress

As journaling continues, taking time to reflect on your progress can be enlightening. Looking back at previous entries and noticing any changes in your thoughts and feelings can provide insight into the healing journey and highlight growth and resilience.

Reflecting on your progress can enable you to identify patterns and stressors. Noticing certain dates or events that evoke stronger emotions may allow for better preparation in the future. This awareness can empower you to navigate grief with greater understanding and compassion.

Celebrating small victories and moments of healing that are recorded in your journal may provide motivation and encouragement to continue the practice. As you experience progress, remember to be gentle with yourself and acknowledge the bravery it takes to confront emotions through journaling.

Integrating journaling into daily life

Journaling can be integrated into your daily routine to make it a consistent part of life. Finding moments throughout the day to pause and write, whether during your morning coffee, after a walk, or before bed, can create a sustainable habit.

Using the journal as a tool for mindfulness can also be beneficial. Writing can enable you to stay present and focused on the moment at hand, offering a break from daily distractions. 

Keeping your journal accessible may encourage you to write as needed. Whether you keep your journal in a bag, on your nightstand, or on a desk, having it within reach can make it easier to incorporate into daily life. Having access to the journal may help you process intense emotions when they arise.

Using prompts to guide your writing

Prompts can be helpful when you're unsure about what to write. They can provide direction and help you explore different aspects of grief.

Here are some prompts to consider:

• Write a letter to a loved one, expressing anything left unsaid.
• Describe a moment when a loved one's presence was felt.
• Write about how a loved one impacted your life and the lessons you learned from them.
• Reflect on your current feelings compared to a week ago.
• Write about your hopes and goals for the healing journey.

Prompts can help you explore your emotions and experiences from different angles, providing a richer understanding of grief. While these prompts may be helpful, feel free to journal in any way that is natural and comforting for you.

Maintaining hope and positivity

Grieving can be challenging, and maintaining hope and focusing on positive aspects of the healing journey can be important. Documenting moments of joy, gratitude, and progress in your journal can promote a sense of balance and remind you of the good things in life.

Including affirmations in your journal may shift your mindset and provide encouragement. Writing down affirmations that resonate with you and referring to them when needed can offer a boost of positivity.

Practicing kindness toward yourself can be crucial. Grieving is a process, and difficult days may be a normal part of it. Using your journal as a space for self-compassion and a reminder that healing takes time can be supportive.

Seeking support

Evidence suggests that journaling can be beneficial in managing mental health, potentially serving as a complementary tool alongside existing evidence-based treatments. 

Sharing your journaling experience with trusted friends, family members, or a therapist can provide additional perspectives and support. 

Joining a support group to connect with others who are also grieving may offer a sense of community and understanding. Support groups can provide safe spaces to discuss your feelings and gain insight from those who have experienced similar losses.

Utilizing open media resources, such as online forums, blogs, and interactive content, can complement your grief journal by providing additional support and community engagement. 

Pairing online therapy with grief journaling can also offer beneficial outcomes. The affordability and accessibility of online therapy can make it an appealing alternative to traditional in-office therapy. Additionally, the ability to schedule therapy sessions at convenient times can provide clients with the flexibility needed to maintain consistent therapeutic engagement.

Current evidence generally supports the effectiveness of online therapy in treating grief symptoms among bereaved adults. Additional studies suggest that online therapy can be an effective form of treatment for a wide range of mental health concerns.