The Impact Disenfranchised Grief Can Have On Emotional Pain And Mental Health

Loss in any form can be debilitating. However, grief may be especially complex when a person is grieving a loss that is not acknowledged or respected by their community. This phenomenon is known as disenfranchised grief, and it can lead to adverse mental health outcomes. Understanding disenfranchised grief can be a way to reduce the stigma surrounding grief and find help if you or a loved one is experiencing this form of loss. 

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Examples of disenfranchised grief

Disenfranchised grief can be a result of any situation in which society or a person’s community dismisses or minimizes their feelings of grief and loss. However, there are some situations in which disenfranchised grief may be more common. Individuals may struggle to seek support from loved ones if the people in their lives do not consider the loss meaningful, the loss can’t be widely communicated, or the loss is associated with stigma. Below are a few examples of these situations. 

Loss viewed as “less significant” by others 

Some forms of loss may be viewed by society and people in one’s life as insignificant compared to other kinds of loss and, therefore, “less worthy” of a grieving process. People may associate grief with death and may not understand that multiple forms of non-death loss can also lead to a grieving experience, including: 

• Loss of a job
• Loss of a hobby
• Loss of an idea, such as when a person loses their religion
• Loss of a significant item or situation that was tied to a person’s sense of identity
• Loss of a romantic partner and relationship through a breakup or divorce 
• Initiating the process of adopting a child, but the adoption falling through
• Loss of one’s home (could be a house or other dwelling space lost to a natural disaster, or loss of one’s home country through emigration, willing or unwilling, i.e., through war, forced displacement, etc.)
• Loss of one’s own or a loved one’s health, cognitive ability, or mobility
• Loss of citizenship
• Loss of valuables or meaningful possessions
• Loss of rights
• Loss of one’s community through relocation, even if the move was desired
• Loss of family support (for example, if a person marries someone their parents do not approve of or choose to raise their children in a way the rest of their family disagrees with) 
• Loss of an anticipated event, such as when a wedding or trip is canceled, or a person misses out on a milestone life event like attending their high school prom

Some people may also interpret certain types of death as more “insignificant” than others. Grief from a death that does not involve romantic partners or immediate family members may not receive the same social support. This grief could be related to the following: 

• Death of a pet
• Death of a former spouse or partner
• Death of a non-immediate family member, like an uncle or cousin
• Death of a student
• Death of a peer
• Death of a colleague
• Death of a teacher
• Death of a mentor
• Death of a coach
• Death of a person or animal one was caring for as part of their job as a doctor, nurse, therapist, veterinarian, or elder care worker—This form of grief may be further stigmatized, as people may dismiss it with phrases like “that must happen to you all the time”
• Death of a client
• Death of an “honorary” relative, like a close friend’s spouse or child
• Death of a godparent

Loss from unrecognized relationships

In contrast to relationships that may be considered less significant, disenfranchised grief can result from the death of someone whose relationship with you no one (or very few people) knew about. Examples of this significant loss can include:

• Death of a family member from whom one was estranged
• Death of a family member who was absent or unknown (like a parent or sibling one never met)
• Death of a casual romantic or sexual partner, like a friend with benefits
• Death of a person one was in a discreet relationship with
• Death of a community member that one does not know personally (i.e., BIPOC people grieving a death caused by racial violence, including hate crimes and police brutality)
• Death of a person with whom one was in a closeted LGBTQ+ relationship due to one or both partners not being out
• Death of a person with whom one was having an affair
• Death of a non-primary polyamorous partner

Stigmatized loss

Stigmatized loss can be a complex cause of disenfranchised grief. This form includes loss where the cause of death may have been looked down on, like deaths from overdoses, or another form of loss that is poorly understood by society, like infertility. Additional forms of stigmatized loss include:

• Miscarriage and stillbirth
• Loss of years of one’s life to abuse or neglect
• Death of a loved one through suicide
• Abortion
• Death of a loved one from medical complications due to substance use
• Giving up a child for adoption
• Death of a loved one from HIV/AIDS
• Death of an abusive partner or family member
• Death of a loved one who was experiencing a severe mental illness

How to move forward with the healing process

Disenfranchised grief can be challenging to work through compared to other forms of grief. Some research has indicated that disenfranchised grief may be more likely to result in complicated grief, a condition in which grief related to a loss does not diminish with time, and feelings of intense sadness may continue to interfere with a person’s ability to function. 

Self-help groups and support groups may alleviate complicated grief, but by the nature of the situation, someone who is experiencing disenfranchised grief may struggle to connect with others. Some organized groups for people whose grief may fall into one of the categories described above have become more common in recent years, such as groups for people who have lost loved ones to drug overdoses. However, seeking professional support through talking to grief counselors or therapists may be one of the most effective options for disenfranchised grievers. 

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Support options 

Someone experiencing disenfranchised grief, especially self-disenfranchisement, may feel shame or embarrassment about their feelings. In these situations, online therapy may be more accessible and reduce shame. Talking to a therapist online can take some of the pressure off, and with online therapy through a service like BetterHelp, clients can connect with their therapist through various contact methods, including video and voice calling and in-app messaging. In addition, online platforms may offer support groups for grieving people. 

Research has indicated that online therapy can be as effective as traditional in-person therapy at addressing a range of mental health concerns, including those related to grief and loss. One group of researchers conducting a meta-analysis of studies examining online therapy’s use in grief counseling found that online therapy may have similar outcomes to in-person therapy in these settings, though more research is needed.