Understanding Traumatic Grief And How To Cope
Grief can be seen as a natural part of life that nearly everyone experiences at some point. However, when a loss is sudden and unexpected, it can lead to a particularly challenging emotional response known as traumatic grief. This type of grief can share symptoms with post-traumatic stress disorder, and it may require the help of a licensed mental health professional to manage. Self-care, relaxation practices, journaling, and maintaining a routine can also be beneficial.
What causes traumatic grief?
Traumatic grief can occur when someone experiences a sudden, unexpected loss. Unlike the grief that follows an anticipated death, such as from a long-term illness, traumatic grief tends to be intensified by the shock and suddenness of the event.
- The unexpected or violent death of a loved one, such as a family member, close friend, or colleague
- The loss of a child
- The loss of a loved one due to a natural disaster or terrorist attack
- The loss of a loved one to suicide
- Deaths resulting from criminal acts
- Experiencing a sudden accident
- Witnessing a fatal event
Each of these situations can deeply impact an individual’s mental health, leading to a sense of helplessness, persistent distress, and difficulty finding closure.
Traumatic grief can trigger intrusive thoughts and bodily responses that may arise as distorted survival mechanisms. It may also lead to the development of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in children or adults with existing mental health conditions.
Similarly, childhood traumatic grief can arise due to the sudden loss of an attachment figure, such as a parent or primary caregiver. When a child loses someone with whom they are deeply connected, the combination of grief and trauma can become overwhelming, potentially disrupting their ability to function normally.
Symptoms of traumatic grief
Everyone experiences grief differently, but traumatic grief usually has distinct characteristics, such as the following:
- Nightmares
- Difficulty sleeping
- Flashbacks
- Emotional numbness
- Fear
- Anxiety
Physical symptoms, such as shakiness, nausea, loss of appetite, dry mouth, and trouble breathing can also be common.
People experiencing traumatic grief often experience intense anger and a sense of unfairness regarding the loss. They may also sense that they have unfinished business related to the deceased, which can complicate the grieving process.
Traumatic grief can be particularly challenging to process, often leading to symptoms of prolonged grief disorder (PGD), in which the intense sensations of longing and thoughts about the deceased typically persist for more than a year and interfere with daily life. PGD is commonly referred to as complicated grief.
Experiencing a sudden or devastating loss may not only bring about grief, but it can also introduce trauma symptoms, such as intrusive thoughts and anxiety. For example, research on adults who lost loved ones during 9/11 found that approximately 43% experienced complicated grief with PTSD three years after the event.
Coping with traumatic grief
Navigating traumatic grief can be an overwhelming and isolating journey, but there are several ways to cope that can help individuals find comfort and healing. While it can be important to remember that everyone grieves differently and there’s no right or wrong way to cope, several strategies may be helpful.
First, aim to acknowledge and accept your feelings. Grief can lead to many different emotions, including sadness, anger, confusion, and guilt. Allowing yourself to experience these emotions without judgment can be an essential first step toward healing.
Another important aspect of coping with grief may be seeking support. Grief can contribute to a sense of isolation, but reaching out to friends, family, or a support group can provide comfort. Talking about your loss with others who understand can be incredibly healing. Don’t hesitate to share your feelings and memories of your loved one. It’s also okay to lean on others for practical support, such as help with daily tasks.
Taking care of your physical health can be another component of effectively coping with grief. Grief can take a toll on your body, potentially leading to fatigue, changes in appetite, and sleep disturbances.
Regular exercise, such as a daily walk, can improve your mood and overall well-being. Eating nutritious meals and maintaining a regular sleep schedule can also be important.
Along with these broader practices, other ways to cope with grief include the following:
- Journaling: Journaling can be a helpful way to express your feelings and thoughts. Writing about your experiences and emotions can provide a release and help you process grief.
- Honoring their memory: Finding ways to honor and remember your loved one can provide comfort and a sense of connection. This can be done by creating a memory box, writing letters to your loved one, or participating in activities they enjoyed. Celebrating their life and keeping their memory alive can help you feel closer to them and provide a positive outlet.
- Practicing relaxation: Mindfulness and relaxation techniques can also be helpful. Practices like meditation, deep breathing exercises, and yoga can reduce stress and help you stay grounded. These techniques can provide a break from the intense emotions associated with grief and help you find moments of peace.
- Expressing yourself creatively: Engaging in creative activities can be another form of expression and healing. Art, music, writing, or any other creative outlet can help you process and express your grief. These activities can also serve as a distraction and offer a sense of accomplishment.
- Building a routine: Building a routine can provide a sense of normalcy and stability. Try to incorporate activities that you enjoy, such as engaging in hobbies, spending time with loved ones, or enjoying a cup of tea in the morning.
It can be important to set realistic expectations for yourself. Grieving is often a long process, and it’s normal to have good days and bad days. Give yourself permission to grieve at your own pace, and don’t rush the process. It’s okay to take breaks from grieving and engage in activities that bring you joy. However, if severe grief symptoms persist and prevent you from being able to fully function in everyday life, it can be beneficial to seek mental health treatment through therapy.
Finally, finding meaning in your loss can be a powerful way to cope. You might try volunteering, supporting others who are grieving, or dedicating yourself to a cause that was important to your loved one.
How therapy can help
Therapy can play a significant role in helping individuals navigate the challenges of traumatic grief. Guidance from licensed mental health professionals who specialize in treating traumatic grief can offer tailored insight, guidance, and coping skills. Research shows that cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can be a helpful and effective resource for individuals facing grief and loss, often aiding in the prevention of complications like prolonged grief disorder. CBT can also address underlying or comorbid mental health disorders, such as depression or anxiety.
Online therapy can be an accessible, affordable, and convenient way to seek professional help from the comfort of your home. You can personalize the therapy experience by choosing the location, time, and mode of communication (video conference, phone call, or online chat) for each session.
According to a 2021 systematic review and meta-analysis, online therapy can be an effective form of treatment for the mental health concerns that can accompany loss. Participants generally displayed significantly decreased symptoms of grief, depression, and post-traumatic stress.
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