What Is a Grief Reaction? Identifying the Symptoms

The term "grief reaction" is used by some experts to describe the ways in which a person experiences or displays grief. Grief is a natural process many people go through after experiencing a significant loss. Losses that can provoke grief include the loss of a loved one, the loss of a job, and the loss of a marriage or other close relationship, among other losses. Some people also experience anticipatory grief, in which they feel grief while expecting a loss, such as after they or a loved one has been diagnosed with a terminal illness.

The grieving process often involves a mixture of intense emotions and physical symptoms. These symptoms may occur when a person experiences natural grief, which often lasts for up to a year after a big loss or more intense grief. When grief is extreme or long-lasting, it can become a mental disorder referred to as complicated grief or prolonged grief disorder. Below, explore some of the most common symptoms of grief reactions, regardless of the type of grief a person is experiencing. A person may notice that they experience different grief reactions at various times and that the reactions vary in intensity.

Emotional symptoms of grief 

Various emotions are associated with grief. In some cases, these emotions may be mild. However, others may experience intense emotional pain and significant distress. Painful emotions can appear seemingly out of nowhere, then disappear as quickly as they arrived. At other times, a person may perceive themselves as stuck in a particular emotion for an extended period. The emotions associated with grief are often unpredictable. Despite popular wisdom, people do not often move through a set list of emotions in a linear fashion while grieving. Everyone is different. However, the following emotions are commonly experienced as grief reactions:

• Shock
• Numbness
• Sadness
• Denial
• Anger
• Guilt
• Helplessness
• Depression
• Yearning
• Stress
• Anxiety
• Despair
• Loneliness
• Hostility
• Irritability
• Lack of interest in activities

The nature of loss experienced may influence the type and intensity of emotions a person experiences as part of their grief reaction. For example, people who were significantly close to someone who died may experience more anxiety and depression than those who were not. Similarly, when a person's child dies, they may be more likely to feel guilty compared to others grieving the loss of a loved one, even if they had no control over the loss.

Some people openly display their grief-related emotions. Suddenly crying for no apparent reason is common during grief. However, some people act calm and collected on the outside while profoundly grieving on the inside. Talking openly about grief may help individuals process confusing emotions, especially when they're having difficulty accepting a loss.

The emotions a person feels during grief may differ or be more intense if they have disenfranchised grief. With disenfranchised grief, a person's loss isn't being openly acknowledged or validated by others, or for some reason, a person isn't being given the social chance to express their grief. This grief might occur for someone grieving a pet, friend, ex-partner, abuser, or other loss that isn’t considered a “typical” reason for grieving. 

Physical symptoms

In addition to painful emotional symptoms, some people experience physical symptoms during their grief reactions. Physical symptoms may include:

• Tightness in the chest or throat
• Heaviness in the chest
• Nausea
• Stomachaches
• Digestive problems
• Dizziness
• Headaches
• Fainting
• Numbness
• Muscle weakness
• Muscle tension
• Fatigue
• Shortness of breath
• Chest pain
• Insomnia

Older women are most likely to experience Takotsubo cardiomyopathy. Although Takotsubo cardiomyopathy is not the same as a heart attack, research has found it can cause death, so if one is experiencing symptoms, they should seek treatment with a medical doctor.

Cognitive symptoms

Grief reactions have been found to impact the way people think and impair their ability to engage in cognitive tasks. A grieving person may experience a sense of disbelief related to their loss. In addition, the loss could be confusing, and they may believe they cannot understand, no matter how much they think about it. A person could become preoccupied with the loss and think about it constantly.

A grieving person may struggle to focus and concentrate on their work or conversations with others. This difficulty may be due to intense emotions or thoughts related to the loss, taking their attention away from the present moment, or it could happen for no apparent reason. In addition to struggling to focus, a person may also struggle to make plans with others or maintain their usual social schedule.

In rare, severe instances, grief can bring about hallucinations in some people. Any type of hallucination is possible, but after the loss of a loved one, individuals may experience a sensation that they have seen the person they lost or heard their voice, despite knowing that's no longer possible.

Behavior changes

If a person is less interested in daily activities and struggles to focus on the moment, they may behave differently. For example, they may dissociate (“zone out”) while others are talking, experience reduced performance at work, or socially isolate themselves. Restlessness may occur, and they struggle to sit still or stay in the same situations they used to find comfortable. 

While interacting with others, a grieving person may display unusual or unexpected emotions, sometimes seemingly out of nowhere. For example, they could suddenly burst into tears. Conversely, they could act more irritable than usual, take offense to minor slights, and shout or act aggressive or hostile.

Substance use may be a tempting coping strategy for some people during their grieving process. A person may begin drinking more alcohol than is healthy or drinking alcohol more often. They may also turn to cannabis, recreational substances, or prescription medications as ways of avoiding the intense emotions associated with grief.

Grief therapy 

Whether a person is processing a natural grief reaction or a more severe prolonged grief disorder, they may find seeking treatment helpful in coping. Talk therapy may help a person healthily move through their grief. However, if people face barriers to in-person therapy, such as difficulty leaving home, they may struggle to seek help. In these cases, remote therapy through a platform like BetterHelp may be more accessible and convenient. Remote treatment allows a person to attend sessions from the comfort of a home or a wi-fi-enabled location. In addition, clients can access more cost-effective care. 

Experts are still examining the results of remote therapy for grief. However, there are many studies on grief therapy in general. One study compared two kinds of grief-focused therapies: cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and mindfulness-based cognitive therapy. The study found that both therapies reduced grief symptoms, but grief-focused CBT showed more benefits six months after treatment ended.