Nine Tips For Finding Happiness

Medically reviewed by Laura Angers Maddox, NCC, LPC
Updated November 5, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Experts have continued to study the science of happiness over the past few decades to determine what causes happiness, how individuals can cultivate and experience happiness, and how to maintain happiness in everyday life, regardless of one’s outward circumstances. For many, part of understanding happiness is knowing what it means. The APA defines happiness as an emotion of joy, gladness, satisfaction, and well-being.

Based on this definition, happiness is an internal feeling. Yet, many look for happiness in external situations. Individuals may believe that happiness will arrive if certain conditions are fulfilled or that happiness is a “forever” state of being. However, as an emotion and not a state of being, happiness only lasts around ten minutes and can be recurring throughout the day. 

While many experts agree that happiness isn’t something that “happens” to a person and that many areas of achieving happiness may be out of their control, there are a few ways you can cultivate more moments of joy and happiness in your daily life.

Struggling to find happiness?

Finding happiness: Nine tips for increasing moments of happiness 

Below are nine expert tips to feel happier in your daily life. 

1. Realize that perfection may not be possible

Expecting perfection out of your daily experience may reduce your moments of happiness. As mistakes are often a part of being human, having a perfectionist outlook may make you more prone to self-criticism, which could lower self-esteem and increase feelings of sadness, guilt, shame, or other unwanted emotions. Acknowledging and accepting that mistakes can happen may help you feel more moments of joy. In addition, studies show that those who take healthy risks are often happier in life.  

To reduce these negative emotions, you may focus on making progress over achieving perfection. Strive to keep your goals moving in a productive direction, and celebrate your victories on a regular basis, regardless of how insignificant they may feel in the moment. If you make a mistake or don’t complete a goal, consider it an opportunity for growth and learning. 

2. Learn to forgive

Difficulty forgiving yourself or others may cause bitterness and resentment. However, feeling happy when you are resentful or angry on a deeper level can be difficult. Although ending romantic or social relationships that no longer serve you can be healthy, holding onto anger for years may cause painful emotions. Even if you choose not to forget the situation or forgive the people involved, taking specific steps to move forward from the incident can be beneficial. Working through resentment can be a form of self-care, and forgiveness is a choice.

In addition, there may be times when the person you struggle to forgive is yourself. If you live with guilt or shame over any “wrongs” you believe you’ve caused for others, examine the circumstances and try to make changes. Ask for forgiveness from others if you need to; regardless of how they respond, consider forgiving yourself. If you have made a mistake you cannot repair, forgiving yourself can help you feel safe, cared for, and comfortable as you work to improve – and you may end up feeling happier as a result. 

3. Look for opportunities to be with other people

Shifting the focus from your mental state may improve your mood. Studies suggest that happiness is contagious, so being around happy people and their positive emotions can help you as you pursue happiness. Connecting with friends or family, or having a best friend to go through life with, may help you find joy.

Volunteering can help one find happiness

Volunteering may also help you find happiness. When you can commit to making others happy, it can have a positive impact on your well-being. In addition, offering gratitude and kindness can make you feel a sense of purpose or meaning in the lives of others. 

4. Change your self-talk

Thoughts can have a significant influence on behavior, mood, and self-beliefs. If you’re experiencing a lot of negative self-talk, you might be impacting your mood without realizing it. Taking a moment to think about how you’re talking to yourself and the thoughts you have about yourself, then replacing them with facts or more positive thoughts may help you improve your mood. One way to go about this process is by writing positive affirmations each day or speaking them out loud. The following are some examples of affirmations you can use, but you can also come up with your own: 

  • “I am strong, and I can get through any situation.”
  • “I believe in myself.”
  • “Even when it is hard, I promise to try to give myself compassion.” 
  • “I deserve to feel happy.” 
  • “Life is worth living, even with pain.” 
  • “I am a beautiful influence on this world.” 
  • “I can’t wait to see what my future holds for me.” 

5. Avoid living in the past to find happiness

Finding happiness and success in the present may be difficult if you spend most of your time thinking about the past. Whether your past positively or negatively influences your life, it can take away from the present moment. Activities like mindfulness can increase happiness by allowing you to ground yourself in the present and feel at one with those around you. Studies have also found that it can reduce severe stress, anxiety, or depression in adults. 

6. Try not to anticipate the future

Waiting for a future event or feeling may detract from your ability to shape your happiness in the present. When you rely on the future to bring you happiness in the form of a new job, new partner, or new belongings – which many people rate high on the happiness scale in the moment – you might find that the happiness is only temporary each time you achieve a goal. 

Many people find lasting happiness begins from within and is not acquired from external circumstances. Others might spend the present moment waiting for something to change to “make” them happy. They may be disappointed if their feelings don’t change when their goals happen. Instead of anticipating the future, consider taking a deep breath, be grateful for what’s happening now, and find present-moment changes you can make to increase your joy each day. In time, you might find that you have a myriad of positive situations in your life that you didn’t have previously. 

7. Improve your physical health

Physical health can have a significant impact on your mental health, including your ability to feel happy. What improves one’s physical health can vary from person to person, and what works best for you may not be the same as someone else. However, a few ways to start caring for your body can include the following:

  • Practicing healthy sleep hygiene 
  • Eating nutritious foods that optimally support your body’s functioning 
  • Getting regular exercise that challenges you but isn’t too much too quickly 

8. Practice gratitude

People who struggle with symptoms of depression sometimes have difficulty finding the areas in life that they’re thankful for, and the pressure to feel gratitude can worsen symptoms. However, by staying vigilant, you may be able to spark feelings of gratitude throughout your day. For example, a relationship with a beloved pet, clear weather, and an act of kindness from another person are all areas that can cultivate thankfulness. If you find it challenging to start practicing gratitude or derive happiness from gratitude, journaling about the more positive events you encounter and how you feel about them may help. 

9. Ask for professional and mental health support 

If you feel like you’re constantly chasing happiness but struggling to find it, you might benefit from speaking to a therapist. You can also consider a support group for others experiencing similar concerns, especially if you’ve been through an adverse event or are grieving. However, if you believe you might be experiencing a more profound concern, like a mental illness or chronic stress, a therapist can offer the support you seek and walk you through key principles of positive psychology.  

Efficacy of online therapy for those who need mental health support

Traveling to and from a therapist’s office and speaking to someone in-person can seem like an overwhelming challenge for some. However, this factor doesn’t necessarily have to be a barrier to treatment. Online therapy is one option that makes sense for people who need professional and mental heealth support but have availability and schedule limitations.

Through a platform like BetterHelp, you can find therapists and counselors qualified to treat symptoms of anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and other mental health difficulties. Online therapy has been found as effective as in-person therapy, and you can get support from anywhere with an internet connection on your schedule. In addition, you can attend therapy from home if you struggle with getting out of bed or meeting professionals in person. 

Struggling to find happiness?

Takeaway

Finding joy in daily life can be challenging, but there are a few tips to consider when looking to increase your happiness. If you continue to struggle with happiness, consider contacting a therapist for guidance. At times, a lack of happiness or hope for the future can be a sign of a mental illness like a depressive disorder. Therapy can help you develop further self-care skills to cope with these feelings and devise a complete treatment plan.

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